Girls, what does feeling safe mean?

[Anonymous]

I always hear girls say they want a guy who makes them feel safe. I don't understand what this means. What do you need to feel safe from?

[Rainie_]

there's just this feeling when you're standing close or embraced by a guy who's strong enough to protect you or stand up to you. Even if I could stand up for myself I think its just the dominance he exerts that is attractive and feels good. I guess its just an instinct thing. Personally as someone who's been sexually harassed a lot by guys (as sad as reality is), being by a guy's side sort of gives you a whole nother protection, he doesn't even need to fight anybody cause his presence itself usually keeps other guys away lol...

[Asker]

Oh, yeah I think I'm able to understand this now. Before I didn't really get it.

[beachflamingo]

I've been in so many dangerous situations (two even last weekend). I would feel safe if I had a guy who would defend me and keep me close to him. We are less likely to be hurt if there's a guy with us even if he is scrawny. To feel safe also means emotionally and psychologically safe. I could tell all my secrets to this person, and they'd keep them. I could also tell them the secrets without the fear of judgement. People just want to be supported and feel validated. That's what safety means to me.

[Asker]

Just one question, would you really feel safe with a scrawny guy? I heard many women like big guys with muscles because of this reason.

[beachflamingo]

Huge muscles are a turnoff for me. As long as he is by my side, then I fee safe.

[ihateheroicleishin]

The ability to express the utmost failure and have my companion beside me, not to comfort me, they don't even have to say anything just beside me ready to ride it out with me. You can be emotionally vulnerable to many people in your life, but if you find someone who stands beside you when you've failed, or shamed yourself you hit the lottery. I mean if you find 2 of those people in your life you are set for life jack pot miracle. There's a difference between being emotionally supportive, and having a true human connection. I learned this the hard way. And it doesn't mean it has to be a lover, it can be a family member or a friend.

[Darkfairie17]

For me, feeling safe means I can be with a guy and know he isn't just trying to play me. Someone who is going to be honest and truly wants to be with me. I've wasted a lot of time and I mean A LOT of time with insincere people. It's frustrating when you explain to someone you simply just want something honest and they mess you around.

I don't want to be with a guy who thinks it's okay to disrespect me or mistreat me. And I'm not saying that doesn't happen to guys, but he asked what it means when girls want to feel safe so I am explaining this from my own personal perspective.

I've always been honest in relationships and have had my fair share of hurt.

[maryem]

the obvious meaning would be protected. But I would say it goes beyond that. A guy who can make me feel safe is to me someone who reassures me and is my rock. Someone who gives me strength and makes me feel as if I can encounter anything and everything would be alright as long as they're by my side. Not just a bodyguard.

[Asker]

What do you mean by bodyguard? Do some women really look at the guy as a bodyguard?

[blunttalker]

To me it means that you feel like he will take care of you if something happens, if you get sick, if there's verbal or physical violence somewhere, no one who can take advantage of you, no one who will hit you or try anything with you, your guy is there, and it feels safer. Or if you fell on the floor and hurt yourself, anything. He will be there helping you and protecting you.

[Anonymous]

I'm like a raging ball of anxiety, fear, and insecurity so it's a rare moment when I'm not panicking about how I look or what people think of me or how I'm failing at life. I feel safe when I don't have to worry if I look good, or if people like me, or if I'm making the right decisions. If a guy can make me feel pretty, and accepted, and can be by my side when I need it then I will marry that guy.

[Elarra]

A guy who supports me as much as I support him and won't put me down, but will also step in if a guy does and says anything wrong to me, which happens more often than guys would think it would.

[Asker]

What would you expect the guy to do if another guy gets physical?

[Elarra]

Do whatever he can to deescalate it, preferably without hurting the other guy or being violent or overly violent. I don't necessarily want him to fight unless he like... has to because the other guy isn't giving him a chance. I would never WANT my guy to have to fight at all because I don't want him to be hurt. But if a guy won't back off of me or is being rude or disruptive towards while he and I are out doing something together, I expect him to handle it.

[Asker]

Does this really happen to women a lot? I'm afraid this will happen when I get a girl one day.

[Elarra]

Depends on where you go. It's only happened to me at parties. But it happens at bars and clubs often enough. Not like... ALL the time, but I've seen it at least 4 times off the top of my head while I was in college.

[lexythelou22]

I like feeling protected. I have trouble with people. I'm very shy, so crowds make me insanely nervous. I feel like people can't bother me as much when I'm with my guy. No one can hurt me and I'm cared for. That's safe.

[hxlly5]

Someone who will make them feel like they will take care of them if something goes wrong. Someone who makes them feel at home, and comfortable. Someone who makes you feel like you can be yourself, & you don't feel like you have to put on an act. When a girl feels safe, she means that she feels safe physically and emotionally. She feels secure. She doesn't worry or doubt. She feels safe in the relationship because he makes her feel like everything is going to be okay.

[Megabeauty]

protected & emotionally safe. he can protect me, but I'm also safe from being hurt by him. (secure in the relationship, confident he's not cheating/lying)

[AriadneSky]

I've never said that. I justwant to feel like i can trust him. thats not him making me feel safe. thats him not doing things to make me feel unsafe. pretty standard desire in my opinion. Im sure you want to trust someone you like too.