The "bad boy" that girls like?

Question

I've seen the complaint from guys all over wether it's here or other dating forums "no girl likes me because I'm nice, they only want douche's or a-holes".

Ya know what? I'm not blaming girls one bit. Those "bad boys" take the initiative to approach and really don't give a shit about it. Their confidence level is what draws females. Am I right?

Im working on my confidence and one day will grow enough of a set to approach. I guess girls find guys more masculine by approaching.

But hey, that's my opinion. What is your view about this?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Ok I struggled with this for an entire year trying literally everything. I hope to give a good answer.

It's easy to go very much black and white on this. Indeed these bad boys have some traits that are not worth copying and will have little effect on whether they actually get a girl or not.

A really confident in himself guy that is a good guy but that doesn't care about the opinions of others, will ALWAYS do better than a bully who has to criticise others.

So what are the attractive traits of a bad guy then towards women. I have listed them below:
´-They are not preoccupied with what people think of them. There is a HUGE difference between being a good guy and giving up your seat on the bus/train for a girl with an injured leg compared to being a nice guy and automatically giving up your seat for any girl that looks hot in order for her to like you.
-They don't seek validation. Most of us are very worried about our reputation. Instead what you must arrive to is that it is OK for you if people don't like you. In other words lose your ego. 50% of the world is going to like you, the other 50% is going to dislike you. Deal with it. It took me 9 months.
-They accept that rejection is totally OK. They now no longer have a reason to avoid approaching as they are OK with being rejected
-They know that they are a great person already. They don't live for the opinion so others because they know that they are amazing.

Some other tips:

I used to try forcing myself to approach girls in the past, it is a terrible idea as you will get really fake and forced conversations. What I mean is don't go to the shopping mall to talk to girls. If you are in the shopping mall for yourself and you see somebody you would like to approach, you can do that and it will be natural. Literally let your heart guide you, if you feel like talking to her she will also likely feel like talking to you.

And in general make yourself an interesting life with your own hobbies, not worrying about attracting women (and this includes not trying to be a nice guy to attract them) is the best way to go. Live your life and don't think about approaching women.

This doesn't mean completely ignore women but just have small conversations with them and keep building on your own life. Don't worry most girls will generally try to make it easier for you if you just act natural. Remember they also have to make an effort to match your character!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Not really. I mean genuinely good guy is a confident guy. Now if a girl rejects this guy, then she's messed up. Because this guy would be better than either the backward guy or the messed up rude guy.

The notion that somehow bad people are good etc is stupid. Bad boy is just a movie stereotype. The heroes on our screens aren't really bad people. lol.

As for approaching there is a social context. You can't approach someone you're working with as it's a bit awkward lol.

Same if the friend you like has a boyfriend. Obviously you don't hit on her. But afterward you can. A bad person would, but if she goes for them, then frankly she doesn't deserve you.

I mean I wrote a question about a good friend versus a less attractive friend. Can u help me out? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2182612-how-d-a-woman-act-around-these-guys-do-they-allow-some-men-to-get

XRabbitHeartX · Accepted Answer

I think it's a myth. Guys portray every guy a girl picks that isn't them as a bad boy. People throw that term a lot around without even knowing the guy that is supposedly the "asshole douchebag" guy. For all you know this guy could be sweet and caring.

Also, many girls have said over and over again that we are into nice guys who are caring and loving. I literally do not know a single woman who has said to me "I love a guy who treats me like absolute shit. It's amazing". We all wish to find a great man who loves us and cherishes us but yes, SOME girls only see a guy's outward appearance and then fall blindly in love while others are desperate and throw themselves at a guy who gives them attention. We are complex. Humans are complex. Attraction isn't a simple thing to explain. It's hard to say why people fall for the people they do but I do know MANY guys too enter toxic relationships with girls who treat them badly. I see it daily on here.

Both genders are able to fall for "wrong" people who don't value them. And mostly this only appears after a long period of time when someone's true colors start to show and the honeymoon phase is over.

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

Well you're kinda right, but kinda wrong. Most women don't really want the "bad boy", they want the confidence. They want the self assuredness. It isn't his bad behavior that's at all appealing, especially those asshole qualities.

Most women want a man that can carry himself, is confident in himself and his own opinions, and isn't intimidated or too "shy" to put forth any effort in getting to know her. Overall, a woman likes a balanced man; a man who can assert his thoughts and opinions confidently, but can also listen and be sweet. That guy will win over the bad boy or nice guy any day.

miamigirl1970 · Accepted Answer

Yes, I have always chased after a man who has high confidence. He doesn't have to be the best looking etc, what he needs is to be sure of himself. And educated turns me on. No necessarily many degrees ( only that is sexy too) but educated about matters that I hold important, and love to discuss.

Bad boys aren't necessarily a holes... I have met some non bad-boys that I thought were great men, turned out to be the most horrible people! We are all different!

lualesca · Answer

Women don't like "bad boys", they like the "good boys" who stand up for themselves, they don't let anyone, even their women to walk over them, if a woman disrespects the man, he is gonna put her in her place, he knows how to set and respect other peoples boundaries, he is a man who will protect her woman, and make sure she is respected, a man who can say NO, a man who can express his feeling without embarrasment or fear of rejection, a man who follows his dreams, who sets goals and works for them.

QooLipBite · Answer

I'm an asshole to females wow.

You'd be surprised at how much pussy that takes in regularly.

It's become a situation where THEY start making the effort to interact with you. After I've known a girl for long enough, I don't think I've ever had to text them or call them first for example. They'll always have a reason to reach out for you ;)

But you have to have the assets and values that can correspond with that kind of attitude, you have to be in a certain league to be able to pull it off, cause no one's gonna like a faggot who's ugly and has like... 30% body fat and acts like a dick and thinks he gets ass.

whackedout101 · Answer

I never really understood what people’s assumption that girls only like ‘bad boys’. What exactly is your definition of a ‘bad boy’? And maybe I get so tired of it because it’s not something that applies to me. I mean, there might be some romantic appeal with wanting to make the bad boy change into a gentleman or something, but I just want a guy who’s already a gentleman.

I do, however, want a guy who is confident in who he is. I feel like, typically, nicer guys are shyer and that might be why they don’t attract nearly as many girls. It’s usually a personality thing. However, unfortunately, guys who are confident normally end up dating more girls and they might be considered ‘a player’ or a ‘bad boy’—which might make sense, but you can be a confident guy without sleeping around.

Basically: be a gentleman while being confident (not cocky or narcissist) and be a well-rounded guy. After that, everything should fall into place.

kellyg83 · Answer

yes. confidence is a huge selling point, but there's one more thing. there's a big difference between a guy who is genuinely nice, and a guy who is being nice because he thinks it will get him the "booty he deserves." a woman can spot fake nice a mile away. maybe guys should think about that.

LizzyLiz · Answer

yes yes yes !!! :)

i totes agree with that. cos nice guys are boring I've met and know a few

they not direct and dont take the risk.

they will be faithful loyal and honest.
but we as women need more and want more...

like thrill, fire, passion :)

nuff said lol

Truthatanycost · Answer

If you are working on anything for someone else, (or women) then you are wasting your time. I say forget about trying to impress women, forget about chasing them.

Work on yourself for yourself, work on your self confidence for your self, get to know yourself, train, get fit, get strong in mind, body and soul.

Disregard females, acquire gainz.

lostgirl_searching · Answer

I agree, but I love nice guys, but according to almost everyone my boyfriend is a bad boy and wild, but he respects me and treats me so well so maybe he's a little bit of both and I actually like it. Especially since before I met him I dated nice guys.

Ahsain · Answer

Girls in their teens and 20s genuinely do find it more attractive when a guy is a jerk rather than when he's being nice (yes I'm generalizing). A friend of mine who is always supremely confident has only ever failed with girls that he's actually tried being nice and caring towards, while being a jerk works for him 100% of the time. Confidence is important, but so is being a jerk and not caring.

Sorenome · Answer

Don't be a nice guy, be a good guy. The "nice guys" are not actually nice at all. I can say this from personal experience.

And by the way, confidence it not an effort, insecurities are effort. You are naturally confident, you just have shitty ideas and conditioning about yourself that makes you insecure. Very young children confident, until their confidence gets crushed by all kinds things from society.

Anonymous · Answer

Not going to lie, i really dont know. I'm now in a situation where I'm choosing between the nice guy and the bad guy. I mean he ain't all that bad. We just really know how to push eachother's buttons. Then the nice guy is always there for me, he always got my back

NyomiMcClinton · Answer

I would like for a guy to be confident and approach me. It helps out a lot and even tho he may not be the most handsome guy in the room. His confidence will make up for that. Believe me, I find confidence attractive in a guy.

levantine99 · Answer

assertive and masculine not bad boy. it is just that usually much more bad boys have these qualities, and take initiative, thus this stereotype was created. also it depends on what appeals to each woman.

Anonymous · Answer

Yep, confidence is super attractive. Young girls like the thrill, being chased, feeling like they're desired, which is why they're drawn to that confident, trouble-making type. But nice guys will always be the better option. We realize that once we mature a little.

Anonymous · Answer

Girls nice guy, white knights, male feminists or Beta males thats why these guys get put in the friend zone because they want the opposite kind of man the Alpha male that takes charge and challenges them, dominates them and treats them like shit causing drama and excitement in their lives which translates to orgasms in the bedroom.

Alistar · Answer

"Their confidence level is what draws females. Am I right?" Correct The only problem is that they can't tell the difference between confidence and arrogance.

HOAAH · Answer

the one that gets a girl or boyfriend usually is the one that puts themselves out there and is making something for themselves. They look like they have their shit together.

Prof_Don · Answer

I'm a quality man, with that "I don't give a fuck what you think, imma do it" attitude. Not much "bad" about me, unless u consider me drinking to get drunk and my loose use of profanity.

I don't have much struggle with women.

Anonymous · Answer

You're right. Because good guys with confidence can get just as much girls, just that they're decent men so choose not to sleep around.

SovereignessofVamps · Answer

I don't think those guys are average, average guys have gfs, and nice ones do too.

GraveTruth · Answer

You are going to find out that they don't like that either.

lushbomb · Answer

no i like my guys shy and nerdy... like i just think its adorable. lol..

BeautifulPromisesx · Answer

I like nice dudes that are confident cuz yeah confidence is everything. There's something so sexy about a man that carries himself well.

This_is_my_username · Answer

Just be you both sexes like confident people.  If you're confident you'll go far. Trust me. Not just with women

Anonymous · Answer

I don't get this "bad boy" stuff, really... My worst ex was a clean cut, kinda dorky engineer.

jabibito · Answer

Maybe just the bad boy vibe. but if the guys ignores me or have lack of interest I would be bored and don´t like him afterwards.
Girls that likes bad boys who ignores them have low self steem and they need to work on that.

Anonymous · Answer

Finally a man who doesn't blame others for his dating problems.  #respect

Anonymous · Answer

you are right confidence is key sadly i haven't reached that level to actually approach a girl and tell her i am interested in her even though i've had lots of opportunties.

TheInvisibleMan · Answer

No, girls should clearly go for the weak pussy guys, who are scared of everything, and can't even handle themselves

COCOCHANEL · Answer

i've always prefered the most attractive face over that nonsense.

Theodorable · Answer

Once you stop caring what people think, you'll be better over it.

Flow_like_the_wind · Answer

A confident nice guy with a SPINE will get you far. Just don't be an asshole or a "bad boy" because you'll attract the wrong women.

bruce3 · Answer

they only like it but not in real life

Jan1ssary_ · Answer

Just look at me I am a bod boii ;D

Pvcgirl · Answer

i love a bad boy but they tend to cheat on me...

Adigelunar · Answer

dont like

MissSakura · Answer

ı dont like bad boys

The "bad boy" that girls like?

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