I am less attractive than the guy I'm with and it makes me want to leave him.

[Anonymous]

My friends say I am cuter or we are the same, but I think they are just being nice. In my eyes he is perfect. He is starting to lose some hair but I think it only adds to his appeal and it's destroying me to see how ugly I am compared to him. he tells me I'm beautiful but I think he has done way better than me in the past and I can only assume he's using me for something because there is no reason why he would be interested in me otherwise. I have BDD, but even then I think I am a butter face. My body is good, my face is awful. No matter how many guys hit on me I believe that I am ugly, and I don't want to lose my best relationship just because of my insecurity. I am in therapy but I still feel like I am nothing compared to him.

[hisangel]

Oh sweetie, I think that's kind of a woman thing to think.

Men love the idea of being with a gorgeous woman that is probably out of their league. Look at every "man comedy" with a beautiful actress and a goofy guy. But women are so different. We know how awful other women can be. We know that if we see a gorgeous guy and a ugly girl, we don't think "Wow, she must be pretty amazing!" We think 'Holy hell, is he dating her out of charity?!" So no woman wants to be in that position. No one wants to be laughed at by other women. It is a woman's nightmare to be in a position to have your physical appearance be on displace 24/7. Look at what happens to the women in Hollywood. They go insane practically, losing so much weight they look like skeletons. They just want people to stop criticizing their looks, so they'll do anything to get it to stop. Even starve themselves half to death. Sometimes as women we take drastic measures to not be put in the spotlight to be criticized about any physical feature. If you feel your boyfriend is more attractive you (even if he isn't), then it feels like he is spotlighting your imperfections.

When I first met my partner I was so stressed about being in his world. He is a good looking guy and he is in a good place with his business so I swear every skank in a mini skirt gravitates to him! He brushes them off so fast cause that isn't remotely what he wants in life. But that doesn't mean they don't take that opportunity to turn on me, as if trying to get me out of the way will open the door to him. So there are times where life sucks cause I'm getting nasty looks from some gold digger cause she thinks I'm a speed bump on the way to her great life! At first it was pretty awful. I'm a pretty touch girl but it just sucked all the time at first. But you have to get to a point where you realize that:

1) He choose you, not those girls

2) He is a grown man. He knows what he likes and what he wants. He is with the woman he wants. And it's never just appearance. I know I am a beautiful woman but obviously some of these girls are going to be prettier than me. But he doesn't just want the prettiest face he can find. I bring so much more to the relationship then that. I know that as I age and lose my looks more and more, I have no doubt he will stay because he loves my heart so much more.

3) There are always going to be hateful people. Always. It doesn't matter if they hate you for looks, money, beliefs, education, or whatever. Someone is always going to be there to look you up and down and decide you aren't worthy. When enough people knock you down you have to get to a place of realizing that their hate will affect your blessed life only if you let it.

You have a man that clearly cares for you and the fear of other people's opinions is going to destroy that. Can you imagine the kind of regret you will have if you lose something great because of other people's issues?

[lovecraze]

Thats an awesome answer!

[Anonymous]

Don't ever put yourself down like that! Looks are not everything. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. He thinks you are beautiful, inside and out, otherwise he wouldn't be with you. And guys don't hit on ugly girls. I bet you're a stunner.It's usually the pretty ones who think they're ugly. But even if you are less attractive, and you'll worried he'll leave you for someone prettier...those pretty girls might not have worked on their personalities, relying on looks alone. This makes them boring. A friend of a friend went on a date with a really beautiful girl. He was so thrilled he finally got her out. BUT she had absolutely nothing to say for herself, and was really boring. The young man was left very disappointed! That says it all. Whilst looks are important, to a degree, it is the inside that is most important. And it sounds like you have both. You really just have to tell yourself you are beautiful. I always thought I was unattractive, despite being told I was beautiful. But I was bullied up till the age of 13, so this made me insecure. It's only in the last few years that I have started to like what I see in the mirror. I hope that one day you can do the same! Always accept your boyfriends comments, and don't disregard them. My boyfriend said of his ex that she told him to shut up whenever he complimented her, so he stopped, cos he couldn't be bothered with her insecurities any more! Accept that your boyfriend loves you for you.

[SmileSmile]

Remember honey,

Looks creates attraction.

Personalities creates connection.

What's more important? I'm sure a majority of people would say looks are more important because it comes first, in order to attract someone to create these sort of connection we nowadays call it "a relationship." But think about, the appearance of a person wears off. Beauty from the outside would one day become wrinkles and white hair. But personalities stays deep within us. Personalities is what beats those skinny and scrawny girls on those magazines. Personalities is what let us shine and be more unique than some fake eyelashes or perfect cheekbones. I think you should worry about your personalities more than your appearance. I'm sure you want to keep him because of your personalities instead of a perfect face.

My favorite quote from Mae West: "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." Right now you're not living your life right. And you know it. Don't let something like this pause you from living your life. And think about it, if he leaves you for your look, is he really worth your keeping or worth your love? Find someone who loves you. Not your face.

[Anonymous]

ok um number one STOP CRYING FOR ATTENTION...youre being ABSOLUTLLY REDIC RIGHT NOW what the hell...

youre boyfriend tells you that you are beautiful and you just think you aren't...you THINK your boyfriend is hotter than you (WHO CARES IF HE IS)...youre complaining and coimplaining and complaining...

you want to leave a perfectly good relationship becuase you think your boyfriend is better looking than you...youre CRYING OUT for attention here and its absolutly IMMATURE and well I just feel insanely sorry for you...your reasons as to why you want to leave him are the stupidest reasons I've ever heard in my life...your boyfriend gives you confidence, have some faith in yourself, stop beating yourself up because you think your ugly even tho guys hit on you...GROW UP

honestly all I heard in this blog was WAAAA WAAA WAA and BLAH BLAH BLAH...stop it! IMMEDIATELY you're being stupid...just stop and be with him...if you leave him you'll end up with some dude that treats you liek sh*t...i don't know wtf is wrong with you but ur retarded

[Asker]

Let me clarify: I am not going to leave him. I just worry that he will leave me for someone who is actually pretty. Kind of a typo if you will.

[Opinion Owner]

Why do you think that way, why do you do that to yourself? WHY...look he's with YOU, do you trust him? obviously not...you need to TRUST HIM OR YOUR RELATIONSHIP HAS ALREADY FAILED....talk to him about this, he will reassure you that he wants you and no one else...the more you act like this the further he'll be psuehd away from you

[gradient]

He will leave you if you don't have confidence. Your negativity will bring the relationship down to the ground. stop second guessing his feelings for you because all it will do is push him away and it will be no one else fault but your own. Just enjoy the relationship.

[anoniemoose]

Wow, hey man this site is here so that people can vent like this. relax. btw, post a picture if you want an opinion

[Opinion Owner]

Vent? venting where? there's no venting done here...this is blah blah blah attention attention....gradient is correct, I mean if you had a girl that said I don't think I'm pretty enough, and second guessed everything all the time then he's right, he will leave....

[hisangel]

Oh my! If a man posted a comment saying "I feel like my girlfriend will leave me because my job isn't good enough" I can't imagine this kind of response. I get the impression that because she sounds attractive you think she is attention seeking but I think that is hardly the case. No matter what a woman looks like she, she stresses about her appearance. Women have insecurities on their looks and men have them on their performance. Men stress all the time on how well they are doing at their job.

[hisangel]

Even if they are doing a good job, they are still afraid of being replaced.

It takes time to get over our fears in life.

[chadwickc2]

Hey, what matters is HIS OPINION not yours. Remember the movie shallow hal? Remember when when Hal's hypnotist "reverses" the spell he put on Hal. His buddy said "I was trying to do you a favor" Hal responded "who cares! She was beautiful in my own sight!".

Now I know your are not 300lbs or something. But what matters is this guy sees something in you. He likes you.

Guys are are definitely visual, but NOT PURELY VISUAL! We are not all as shallow as so many girls think. I've dumped way hot girls because of their crappy personalities. I wouldn't want good looking kids growing up with crappy personalities. So I rather the mother of my children be someone who is beautiful in the inside.

All that aside, I bet you are beautiful but you got some self esteem issues. Count your blessings...you boyfriend and realize he REALLY IS ATTRACTED TO YOU.

Let him know how you feel. You feel better. How long were you dating again?

[Iamrighturwrong]

What the hell, yeah break up with him and devastate him because you are too blind to see your own beauty I went blue in the face with someone like you, really liked them and p*ssed me off that they would not believe it, throw out your notion of beauty that comes from TV and your social life try to see how beautiful we all are, I feel bad for this guy who sounds like he is a good man, let him love you damnit! Stop being ignorant and find some beauty in yourself that is not connected to having a perfect body or face I am a good looking guy and I purposely am a nasty bastard to hot women because I am tired of their sh*t, maybe he is too. Does not mean you are not hot to him it just means that the standard of beauty is wrong and women who are horrible inside are starting to lose credibility. Love yourself and let him love you silly goose. He is not using you he loves you.

[burn27]

Don't think of yourself compared to him, but as what you are to and for him. You are who you are and even if you are not perfect by the standards of today's media or a perfectly sculpted super model, he sees the whole package and likes you for you! If you have been with him for a while, he probably does not even care. When he looks at you he does not see imperfection. He sees beauty, otherwise you would probably not be together still. Get rid of the negativity and be happy with yourself. Start loving yourself and loving him. He will not love you if you cannot love yourself first.

Good luck = )

[Brando]

You don't need to leave him for something that you are feeling about yourself. He has obviously chosen you to be with, he finds you attractive, fun, worthwhile, and whatever else he sees in you. If anything, tell him everything you listed on here and ask for his help. I'm sure that he'll be more than happy to know that you trust him for advice.

So again, there is no need to ruin a good relationship with someone that you enjoy being with because of an insecurity. It's just an issue you need to take care of.

[curlygirl]

thats stupid...dont leave someone because you think they are better than you are. obviously he's not! he's with you!

i know...when other people give people compliments...they will probably not take it to heart.!

but! you said it yourself! you have a good body! you should send me a picture of you! I bet you are gorgeous! if you do..i bet ill convince you that your beautiful! you should watch that show on tvland.com, with carson in it.

it's called "how to look good naked", but I love the show. it always makes me feel batter about myself after I watch it. lol.

[Anonymous]

He thinks you are beautiful, why can't you just accept that? It's hard to talk about your insecurities but you should talk to him about it. Let him know how you feel. I'm sure he will understand and assure you that he only wants you, you have to trust him. Don't ruin something good because you THINK he is using you or you THINK he's better looking, I doubt very much that's the case. Remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder, just because you don't think you are he does. Also looks aren't everything, he sees something in you that makes him want to be with you, it's the whole package. That does happen you know!

If you have a hard time talking to him write him a letter so he understands. At least then he'll know how you feel. If he cares he will be there for you which I;m sure he does.

[DegenDen]

Wow, this is actually a psychological phenomenon proven in studies. Usually when the man or the woman feels inadequate or less attractive they will have continuious feelings of anxiety which may eventually lead them to either cheating on their mate or leaving.

I can't recall the term but you should google it. Sounds like you have some serious self image problems. Why don't you try building up your confidence by going to the gym or getting your hair done?

[mz4568]

Usually the hot models are so self-conscious and literally think they are the ugliest people in the world!

You need to understand through therapy that looks fade and if you're not emotionally stable, you will turn this guy and other guys away from you.

[Happyfeet]

I'm sure you're not ugly. You just need to work on your self-esteem, seriously. If your boyfriend tells you that you're beautiful, that's what he believes. Your friends think you are cute too, and friends are the people who's opinion who should matter a lot. Good friends don't just say things to be nice, they are honest. So, stop worrying about things that shouldn't matter. You don't want to risk losing your relationship over your false insecurities.

[rakar]

i defo understand were your coming from. and to be honest I do think if a guy is hot, or hotter then his girls friend he may cheat. I have a good friend (male) who is verry attractive. his girlfriend is stunnig and he still cheated on her. so I think there is a possibility

[iXenomorph]

Helloooo? Love is blind? There's a reason that phrase has existed since the beginning of time.

[Anonymous]

He sees something in you even if you dont. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. If he stays with you enjoy every moment that you have, even if you are trying to wreck the relationship..

[helpfuldude]

ok so ask yourself "do you love him?" then ask him :do you love me" if both answers are yes you have nothing to worry about in his eyes you are beautiful. and that's all that matters isn't it?

[smallbrownman]

whoah you got issues. fix your self-esteem issues, looks aren't everything...

[MrReal]

Take it easy baby if he say's your beautiful and guys hit on you then your beautiful. Much love