Do guys like independent girls or the really dependent ones?

[Anonymous]

Because I'm really independent, head strong and opinionated, and I've never had a boyfriend. But my younger sister, who half the time talks like she's a five year old (the baby talk kind of voice), and most of the time she has her boyfriend do things for her (like tie her shoes for her because she "cant", or get things for her even though they're sitting right next to her). We even went on vacation to our cottage and she wouldn't go to bed until he tucked her in and kissed her goodnight on the forehead (I get this is "cute", but isn't it overdoing it?). Is that what guys are actually into? Because I did also read that guys really dislike independent girls and won't have anything to do with them. So.should I be more like my sister, or what? (cause I know I can sometimes be overbearing and push to have my way, and I know it so I try not to be harsh and I've toned down a little, but I don't see the point in being pathetic all the time). Opinions?

[bubblyblonde]

I struggle with similar situation. Am independent have good social life, like doing all sorts of things incl watching sports tv and real, concerts, cars etc but yet I am single. I do agree that most guys are all different to what they like and do not like, however I think that we struggle because we won't be treated like crap, our whole lives do not depend on a man so your sister might put up with crappy behavior from her OH which you would not cause you know just cause your single doesn't mean your alone, doesn't mean your life is over. I'd say eventually (as I hope) the one who thinks your fabulous and likes your independence will come along.

[Anon78]

Be yourself and you'll find the one who loves you for who you are. But also, it is true that guys like a woman who isn't totally independent. Guys like to feel needed, and if you are so independent why do you need him? Guys also like girls who are compassionate and a little nurturing. so if you're kind of a hardass a guy may not see you as capable of understanding him. Keep being independent and confident, but remember two show a little softer side sometimes and to allow yourself to be vulnerable-- which can often be seen as "dependent."

[marjorie11]

I think there is no such thing as "what guys like" or "what guys want". Some guys are attracted to certain types of behavior, other guys are attracted to others. Don't change your behavior based on some stupid article you read somewhere. I think what everybody likes (boys AND girls) is a person who doesn't try to be something he/she is not. You wanna find someone that likes you for who you are, right? So just wait. Eventually that guy will come. Just be yourself.

[browolf]

A bit of both is best but it requires a certain amount of enlightenment to be ok with independence and certain amount of self independence. Unfortunately ego is kind of bred into lots of guys and they like being depended on, even for silly things. It gives them control. Ego and control are kind of tied together. Those are the types that don't like independent females as it reduces their (sense of) control. And then there's insecurity which is also tied into control. Cope with insecurity by controlling their environment. over-cuteness is like relinquishing control. In this light guys with less ego would probably suit you better.

[Anonymous]

Some independence and some dependence is perfect. Time and place for everything. Your sister is a bit over the top, however.

So, I like the companionship my girlfriend brings, and I like knowing that she has my back and I haver hers, so to speak. Also I like knowing that many of her decisions are made with me in mind.

However, I also like having my own space, and I want her to be doing her own things, as well. There's no reason why we can't do our own thing for the day and then snuggle at night.

[Confused614]

A little bit of both I think I like a girl that wants to talk all the time and hang out all the time but your example is overdoing it and I want her to be independent I don't want to hear "us" and "we" all the time we are both individuals but I don't want her to be so independent that she doesn't call or want to hang out ever either so there's got to be a happy median

[kevin-camron]

i love independent gals,