How can I encourage my boyfriend to be more confident and assertive?

[Foxface]

Hey, so my boyfriend and I have not been seeing each other for that long of time. He is a very sweet, nice guy who is fun to spend time and I really enjoy being with. The only thing, and I know I still have the issue where my exes that I had a very personal relationship with are still a bit in the back of my mind whom I tend to compare others to. Despite how sweet and considerate my boyfriend is, I wish he was more assertive sexually and able to take the reigns on situations, deciding what we will do and there to defend me in situations. Just really being 'my man' and I'm his 'girl'. He is quite soft spoken and meek, and I would love if he was just a little bit more rowdy and with his actions in everyday life and more personally/sexually.

And ideas how I can help coax him out of his shell?

[Rynner]

Compliment him a lot, and boost his self esteem.

You could also do slightly more unorthodox things; like for instance if you initiate these changes as role play in the bedroom, maybe he'll enjoy the role and catch on?

Or you could try forcing him out of his comfort zone to become more outgoing?

or enroll him in a Toastmasters (public speaking) course?

[Foxface]

That is good advice, though I do not mean sexually necessarily, everyday life would be nice. To encourage him to be more rowdy and spontaneous. And take charge of situations, just more... masculine shall I say?

Any suggestions on that?

Thanks so much :)

[Rynner]

Masculine....

Enroll him in some sort of class? You can't really change a persons personality too far. Yes, you can point them in the right direction, but it's never going to be a definite that it'll work.

I always find that a good way to draw people out of their shell a bit and become more spontaneous is to play little games, especially improv ones.

You can also do spontaneous things, like going for a hike, or to a water surfing workshop, or street play/festival, then complain that he never

[Rynner]

Organises anything, and that it'd be nice to do something different. It could just be that he isn't a very spontaneous person though. I'm not, even though I do make a special effort to seem so by doing things like that. I spend forever planning those things. :P