My boyfriend says I should be more confident, but I don't know how?

[mcb2010]

I've never been a very confident person...ever since I was a kid I've always felt like the black sheep everywhere I go...I constantly wonder if I'm pretty enough, funny enough, I wonder if my personality is lacking, and I often feel self conscious the with shape of my body...my boyfriend seems to suggest I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever known and he hates it when I disagree. I just can't help but feel like I'm not good enough...so how can I boost my confidence level?...I don't want him to leave me because of my insecurity...

[Kurosaki]

I can promise you this. If you keep telling your boyfriend he is wrong when he tells you you are beautiful, eventually he will stop telling you. And that same attitude can lead to the end of the relationship if you're not careful. Even if you don't think so, instead of disagreeing, try saying "I'm so happy you think so." Or something similar". What he's doing is trying to lift you up and you're preferring to stay down.

Confidence is a state of mind. (duh, right?) It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, you can be confident. There are supermodels who lack any shred of confidence and there are people who are, let's say less than supermodels, who couldn't be put down by anything you say because they are that sure of themselves.

You need to figure out what good qualities you like about yourself and work from there. The key is qualities YOU like, not qualities other people like. Not your boyfriend not your best friends. That doesn't mean you need to be self-centered or that those people's opinions don't matter at all but you need to realize how you feel about yourself is what matters most. Feelings and emotions are contagious. Carry yourself with confidence and other people will pick up on that and treat you as a confident person.

There is no A + B = C equation to get confidence. Everybody is different. Stop dwelling on the things you don't think are adequate about yourself and start concentrating on the things that are good. If you build on that, hopefully confidence will come. And more than likely many of those things you don't like about yourself, you can either change, realize they are not so bad at all, and/or realize your strong points are more important. You can start right now.

[Anonymous]

Remind yourself that your boyfriend is with you because he likes you for you.

[Kurosaki]

It needs to go further than that. At some point, your boyfriend may not be with you for whatever reason. You can't build your confidence on the fact that a specific boy likes you because at some point, that relationship is likely to end.

You need to build your confidence on yourself and no one else. It's hard to tell you exactly how to go about that. You need to sit down and figure out what it is you like about yourself and go from there.

[xxAdrianna]

If you know you've got something special or different, then embrace it, don't hide it! That's what being diverse is all about. You might wish that you were taller, shorter, skinnier, prettier, whatever you wish was different about yourself, you have to remember that the way you are is what makes you a unique person. Along with that, make sure you accept compliments. A sign of insecurity is when someone compliments you and you just brush it off with a "yeah, right.." or something along those lines, instead of that, smile and say "thank you" confidently :) I would also say to make a list of all the things you love about yourself. Lastly, let me tell you that we all tend to flatter ourselves by thinking that people are constantly thinking about everything we say and criticizing how we look, when in reality, they barely lend what we do a second thought because they're so busy worrying what WE think of THEM. So stop worrying and be confident :) You're perfect!

[ALittleAmazed]

Best answer ^