Girls, are you (or do you want to be) a housewife, career woman, or both? Can you share your experience?

[ElissaDido]

Guys, in which category does your partner fall into?

The older I get, the more I become aware of the importance for women to have a job or a stable source of income to fall back on as a measure of precaution.

I think it’s a nice idea to be able of being a housewife that takes care of the kids and household, but realistically it’s becoming harder for women to find men who are worthy of such a commitment.

One of my best friend’s mother got abused by her husband and had to work as a maid in order to feed and clothe her daughters after she got a divorce.

And of course, not having your own money will mean that your pool of choice when it comes to a future partner becomes smaller, since in order to be a housewife, the husband needs to earn a good living because one salary is not enough. This would rule out a lot of men who can’t afford all the expenses of a household and kids alone.

So I want to be able to juggle between my career and my family ( I don’t want to jeopardize my children’s future by not being there).

Many of my female relatives are doing both, but I’m wondering how do you gag women deal with the situation.

Do you have a career?
Do you have kids?
Does your man help you with with the house chores/kids?
How stressful is your life? If you could, would you give up your career in order to be fully taking care of the household?

I'm a full time housewife/ my partner is a full time housewife

I'm a full time career woman/ my partner is a full time career woman

I juggle between my career and my family ( I do both)/ My partner is both

Other

[aacrs]

Your explanation is really good. I also think the same, like, my dream is that I want to be a full time Mum but I know that at least I have to be self-sufficient.

I think nowadays there are lots of way where you can do it, for instance, self-employed through an online platform which allows you to be home most of the time while still earn money. My dream is to be a professor someday, because the working time (at least in my country) seems to be relatively short compared to being in a company, but we'll see.

My boyfriend told me he wanted his future wife to tend his children but he also said that he wanted his future wife to be self-sufficient. It sounds demanding, but I can't agree more with the statement. We've decided if we do get married, the house chores are shared responsibilities between both of us, just like we do now.

One thing though, I wanted to do a PhD if possible and I've decided that I wouldn't do it before my children are at least 3 y. o., or even give it up completely and find something else to do. I won't miss the first years of my future kids' life.

[Wonderer89]

I don't necessarily want to be a career woman, just earn enough money to be self sufficient for myself and my children should the need arise. That means keeping a foot in the workplace to keep my skills and experience current enough to stay employable.

So when we have children I'll take as much maternity leave as I can, then go back to work part time 3 days a week. I'm lucky enough to be able to work from home should I need to, and both my mum and mother in law have expressed a desire to have their grandchildren a day a week when we get there, as sending my babies to day care fulltime doesn't quite appeal to me either. When they're old enough to go to school I'll work 5 days a week but shorter hours so I can be home after school when they are.
If I change employers between now and then I'll need to rethink haha it'll be hard finding somewhere as flexible

[cherryphi82]

I'm a stay-at-home mom and always wanted to be. I enjoy spending time with my children and my husband, and I think it's important for one parent, if at all financially possible, to stay home.

Sadly, many people, including lots of women, do not value or respect this important job anymore. And it is a job. I have worked some throughout my career, but have found that it is near impossible to invest as much time and energy into my kids as when I stay home. This is not to put women down who work. It is just a fact.

[witherwing]

I really wouldn't want to be either. I don't like house hold chores and we are not planning to have children, so just being at home would be super boring. But on the other hand, I do not aim high with my career and works us by no means important to me. I don't know what I'd be, but I wouldn't want to be either of those.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I desire a woman that stays home and I take care of. That doesn't mean she has to stay stuck at the house all day.

She can volunteer for a few hours at a community center for her not be bored at home if she wants. I want My wife to have as less stress in her life as possible.

And not to mention if kids come along who will raise them? A daycare center? No way. I don't strangers raising my kids for hours a day for days a week.

[aaaaabbbbb]

You can raise them

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@aaaaabbbbb: I'll raise them too, but I will not be a stay at home dad and let a woman take care of me. Never. I must provide for my family not my wife.

[aaaaabbbbb]

Why?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@aaaaabbbbb: Because it's the duty of a man to provide for his family.

[Anonymous]

I will not marry a woman who doesn't want to stay home and raise the kids until they are at least 8 - 10 years old. Children deserve a mother, not a "childcare professional" who does not love them the way a mother does.

[ElissaDido]

I hope you earn enough to be able to afford life expenses.

[Opinion Owner]

Absolutely. I already do but will earn even more as my career advances.

[aaaaabbbbb]

Children also need their father

[Opinion Owner]

@aaaaabbbbb Of course they do, but fathers and mothers are very different. Children need a real mother, especially in their early years. I cannot fathom how a mother can feel OK about leaving her baby or young child in the "care" of someone else.

[aaaaabbbbb]

Fathers and mothers are what you decide they are. If In your family you play the role of a "traditional mother", then that's the father your children will know.

My point is that children need someone to love and care for them, no matter their gender.

I would be perfectly fine working and leaving my child in the hands of my husband (only husband, not someone outside the family) because he would play that role (of the caring mother in the traditional family).

I do not see how your body parts should decide what you have to do in your life (I'm going to have a great career, and I'm going to marry someone who'll chose a easier path so he'll be able to look after and care for the children).

[Opinion Owner]

@aaaaabbbbb I find it interesting how feminists will claim, out of one side of their mouths, that mothers are better parents who offer something unique to children and should therefore be granted custody of children in most cases, while out of the other side of their mouths fighting against gender roles with the argument that gender makes no different in parenting. Interesting indeed.

[aaaaabbbbb]

I'm not a feminist

[aaaaabbbbb]

I agree with only the second; I don't think mothers are better parents at all, but I do think gender shouldn't decide what you do in life

[Opinion Owner]

@aaaaabbbbb I generally agree gender should not decide what you do in life, but there are exceptions. Men and women are different in some important ways and it's naive to ignore that fact, especially in relation to something as important and children. Mothers and fathers are very different from one another. Children need both, but for different reasons.

[aaaaabbbbb]

Children need both roles ( one that's working and one that stayes home) that I agree, but it doesn't matter who does what. The mother could work and the father could stay home.

[Opinion Owner]

@aaaaabbbbb I understand why you, as a woman, would want to believe that, with the implications for gender roles and all. But it's just not true. I mean, there are some men with the nurturing nature to be a "mother", but not many. Making a blanket statement like that sets unrealistic expectations and is ultimately just unfair to children.

[aaaaabbbbb]

I understand why you as a man would believe what you think; you are pleased with your role in the traditional family. You want it to stay as it is. You think that because it's good for you it's good for women too. Well the thing is that it isn't. Most women aren't happy just staying at home doing nothing, not seeing anybody, and relaying on their husbands for money and food.

Nothing stays forever. Neither will this system.
What I said is 100% true; If your parents and society would have taught you that all boys like the color pink, you would have too. If your parents would have taught you from a young age (without you knowing anything else) that you are the one who is responsible for your younger siblings, then that's what you would have known, thought, believed, and did.
You are what your society and parents make you.

If men were taught that they are the one who should stay in the house, then so it would have been.

[elinaas]

@aaaaabbbbb Since when did women suddenly change biologically in such a short time and not want to take care of the children anymore? Do you even know why females tend to stay with children rather than males? BECAUSE IT'S IN OUR NATURE. Just because you dont like it that way doesn't mean you are the majorty of women. Women are naturally more nurturing and emotional, and they have more empathy. Also, who said women see their friends meanwhile theyre taking care of the home and children? It's not a 24/7 job and even if it was, you can always take the kids with you and meet other mommies in a park. Even in the middle east this is possible so stop being an "oppressed" victim.

[aaaaabbbbb]

@elinaas first of all, thanks for reading my opinion. It's different for every person; for example my mom stayed home a couple of years and it didn't do her good ( she had a very very hard time). Not everybody are like that, but neither everyone likes to stay at home. That's exactly what I'm saying; what you like and do doesn't depend on you gender, but on who you're truly are inside. All I'm saying is that people should have a choice. Thanks for reading...

[Opinion Owner]

@elinaas Thanks for weight in. I agree with everything you said. Women are indeed more nurturing than males, and that is so because of genetics. It's how nature intended it. Selfish women like @aaaaabbbbb try to ignore that fact because they make it about themselves rather than the children.

@aaaaabbbbb You wrote "you are pleased with your role in the traditional family. You want it to stay as it is. You think that because it's good for you it's good for women too." And of course you are wrong. Most men do not enjoy having to go to work every day and work their asses off any more than women enjoy being moms. Men don't enjoy their value being measured by society based on how much money their earn. And yet we don't whine about it the way women like you do your role. Why is that?

Ultimately this entire discussion is about what is best for the children, NOT YOU.

[elinaas]

@aaaaabbbbb When you say those words to others, you are not only spreading propaganda but also fighting against biology. So please stop and keep it to yourself. Of course everyone has a choice in the west, no one ever said they dont have. What I dont like in your attitude is that you try to be a victim with no reason.
And OP, no problem 😊

[Opinion Owner]

@elinaas Once again, I agree 100%. :) I'm so sick of the self-serving propaganda from feminists who are only interested in shoving their agendas down others' throats.

[aaaaabbbbb]

Well I'm not originally from the west, I didn't have a choice. All I'm saying is that people should have a choice, but other then that I agree with you both. Thanks for reading and responding :)

[Opinion Owner]

@aaaaabbbbb

Cheers :)

[Freya_Martin]

While career would mean tonns & loads to me in life, I wouldn't wanna loose out on taking care of my loved ones. It would make me & them happy. I'm more of a caring kinda gal. 😇 💕

[GirlNextBored]

I have a great career and I want to keep doing it for now because I enjoy it. My husband and I have talked and we know we'll want kids someday, and I'm not sure when that is. I thought I'd want them by now but I'm still focused on career, but I feel the clock ticking some.
When I do want children l know I'll want to back away and stay at home. You have no idea how much grief women give me when I say I want to do that...

[snowangle]

When the time comes, I ideally would want to be a housewife, if we can afford it. The reason being that I've worked as a nanny before, and I used to feel so bad for the parents because I honestly spent more time with the kids than they did. I would much prefer to raise my own children than hire someone else to do it for me. Then when the kids are a little older, I'd probably want to work part-time.

[foodtv]

My dream job is to be a stay at home mom taking care of the kids and the house. I have a good job now/will once I graduate and will for the next couple of years, it will provide financial backing for later. I'm only starting a career to get money in the bank and get experience in case I have to go back later after having kids grow up.

[Prettygurl12]

I work more than full time right now. I have no children. I am not married. When I get married... IF we have children... we'll both still work outside the home and we'll split household chores.

[Jemini_Crocket]

I don't want to be a housewife. I believe that if you're in a relationship, both of you should work on the house and do the regular tasks which have to be done.

So both. Right now I wanna focus on my career, then maybe a relationship. It mainly depends on the future partner.

[FxckBoy]

I will not put my last name on a woman who will not do her wifely duties to stay home and raise my children.

That is the way my mother is, the way my grandmother was, the way my brother's wives are, and the way any woman who will be MY wife will be. Period.

[Olivia12345]

Ima be a pirate!
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[Astoriana]

I honestly have no desire to sit at home all day with no one but screaming children for company. Yes, I'm aware that the children ought not be screaming if parented properly.

I just think it's boring as shit to do nothing but cook and clean.

[SHAHRUKH889]

It depends on my wife (future wife) whether she wanna be a housewife or career woman but I'll not let her do both things.

[ElissaDido]

why not?

[SHAHRUKH889]

coz she is a Human she can't handle both as a husband its me who'll tc of him

[SHAHRUKH889]

Sry her*

[ElissaDido]

would you prefer her to have a career or be a housewife?

[SHAHRUKH889]

her choice, what she wanna become

[KeiraMetz]

I want to be a career woman and I'll definitely be one. My partner and I dislike kids and the idea of having our own children so I'll never be a mother

[Anonymous]

I'm a career woman, and I don't want to work 2 jobs or as you put it "juggle" between my actual job and housework. I plan on earning enough money to pay someone to do the chores for me, and I don't want kids so that sounds ideal to me.

[1truekhaleesi]

I'm lucky enough to have a good job that I love, and I never wanted children except fur babies, so career woman for me.

[este1864]

I'm a career woman who aspires to become a submissive housewife.

[Ceins]

I have no partner or kids, my career is a joke and my life is very stressful. I would not stop working though to become a housewife. Would try to compromise.

[Whatthefluff]

I'd be a terrible housewife, and it sounds plain boring.

[Blonde401]

Neither. I don't live to work and I'm not interested in ever marrying someone... so neither.

[SlightlyCrazy]

I'm hoping my women can work. I'd rather the income and her own satisfaction as something other then my shadow

[Yumix]

That's up to her. Ideally, she can do both and we split the housework and childcare as good as possible but of course, that's not always possible.

[omgjassy]

I juggle between my career and my family ( I do both)/ My partner is both