So I got this question and I'm kinda curious, my friends have been talking about the pro's and con's of being a housewife or a working wife/mother. what would you prefer? its nothing wrong with being a housewife or working wife/mother. both do equally hard work. and a question for the men. what would you prefer your ladies to be doing. At the end of the day it's her decision obviously.
Ladies, would you prefer being a housewife or a working wife/mother?
Personally, I would prefer not to work outside the home. This is partly because maintaining a home and raising children is a full-time job and when both parents are working it's very difficult to have a stable environment for everyone. There's so many things that just need to be taken care of like doctor appointments and home repairs and school activities.
Plus there are so many things in the community that can only be done during work hours. I never realized until I was a stay-at-home parent how much of a community is kept going by volunteers who drive older people to appointments (for example) and do so many other things to keep the town and churches and libraries and charities and schools going. I had no idea until I was a stay-at-home mom how much of a community is run by volunteers.
Also, I personally am not ambitious and don't care about a career other than making money. I have a lot of creative hobbies and I could easily spend my time writing fiction and maintaining a home. I honestly think that if I was able to dedicate full-time to it I could have a writing career but I can't do that cuz I have to work. I also was involved in volunteering when my son was little and my husband was actually mad at me for it but so many people depended on it I couldn't NOT help.
When one person is a homemaker, they have time to closely watch the budget, clip coupons, be sure that you're using the food that you have and not throwing it away cuz you didn't have time to cook it, planning meals from scratch, doing all the time saving and money saving things as a working parent I can't do. I feel like money just pours like water through my fingers cuz I don't have time to give it the attention it needs.
However many women are not cut out for that. It's not their personality, they don't even lyrics, they get satisfaction from a career, and are miserable at home. So it really depends on the person.
It also depends a lot on how much support you have. I don't have any family here so I have no grandparents or aunts or uncles to help. Everything was on me so I really needed to be home when my son was little. Once he started school I went back to work.
Well, working at home is a job in a way! One with lots of benefits!
You gotta keep shit clean and make good food (which is fun since you can eat the best bits before anyone else!).
You watch the kids, if any- "Listen, I will give you half of the brownies if you go and pull up ALL of Sharol's marigolds and morning glories. They looks like this picture. Go wreak hell. If you breathe a word about it, I will know." who are your little demons. If you direct their evil energy on your shit neighbors, they'll leave you for the most part. If they try it on you, whoop 'em. My black friends don't try shit with their moms but love them to death. That's what I wanna achieve!
You also get to be pregnant (which some people don't like, that's fine!) since making new life is fucking COOL! And your man or lady gotta listen to you or risk tears. But they probably love you so much they'll do anything anyways! Plus, your own parents get you stuff and fawn over you and visit and bring lots of food. Hell yeah!
Brag about your mini-army to your fellow moms and wives. "Yeah, we have six now. We have our own soccer team. Yeah, it is cool. I know."
Cleaning is fine. I'm a neat freak anyways!
Spend time with your pets after making sure all is well, laundry hung and floors good and fresh muffins on your lap and play games until hubs or wife comes home. Doesn't sound half bad to me!
Just like with anything else, society can never be pleased. You don't work and stay home with the kids? What a lazy piece of shit you are. You work and have a job outside the home? You're a bad mom and should be spending that time with your kids. I think that whatever works for ones particular family and situation is best.
Sorry, but it's not "her decision obviously", in a relationship it has to be decided together. If she relies on me to earn the bread because she stays at home, it concerns me as well. And a housewife and a working wife can, but usually don't do the same amount of work. Working wives normally still do the main part in the household, which means more work than doing the household and nothing else. I would prefer her to work so I can stay at home to care for the kids and do the household, because the time with the kids is VERY precious, but it will ultimately boil down to either both working, or the one who earns more to work while the other one gives up their job. (Unless she just stays at home after maternal leave although she would earn more. That could happen but wouldn't be ideal)
Don't conflate preference with decision. She just asked for a preference, which is fine. I hate selfish women too, but not every disposition means a woman is selfish.
I know your question is aimed at girls, but I'd just like to say that women who are housewives have always worked hard. They just don't get paid for doing it. Maintaining a household and cooking, cleaning, shopping, doing child care and all the rest is a major job that deserves respect.
I'd prefer to work. It's extremely hard to live here on one income if you don't make six figures. Anyways, I like my job!
Absolutely nothing wrong with either choice. But I've been told I'm making a terrible choice or that I will be a terrible mother because im working, by other women on here in the past. What the fuck. How do you know what my life is like? Some people, I tell ya.
I want to work but I might end up being a house wife if I can't afford child care when I get married. I'm currently single so don't need to worry about that.
I just had my first child she is 8 months. When I found out I was pregnant. I was looking into child care costs it's expensive. With today expenses it's more beneficial for both parents to be working. Me and my husband are Separated. So I have to work hard. Luckily my mom is retired so she watches my daughter for me. It's hard to not have you're child with you at such a young age. If I was more financially secure I would rather be with my child. It feels like something is missing. Always thinking did she eat, is she happy. Before I was separate and had my daughter the plan was to be a stay at home mom until school started. Work part time than pick her up and be at home with her helping her with everything she needs. Things are never set in stone. So I work hard to provide for my daughter to make sure she is healthy and taken care of. It's not easy but I'm happy to be a mother. I feel like being a mother is amazing and being a stay at home mom would still be a lot of work on it's own. The bright side you won't miss your child when your at work. If your financial stable and can afford to be a stay at home mom and can be with your child i would say do that. Because not a day goes by I don't miss being with my baby. All about being a parent is doing what you have to do for your children. Both being a stay at home mom and a working mom are jobs on their on. To each their own we are all different people with different circumstances. We do the best we can that's life
Men don't have the emotional makeup to mother kids. They have the temperament to fight the rest of the world, but they need to be able to do that. There's only so much that can be done to improve a house and family. That limit to improvement bothers men.
Women are generally bothered by the unnecessary competition on which men thrive.
A housewife is what keeps a superman going, because he can't manage his own domestic life as well as a woman can.
Plus, women have higher rates of depression without a family.
I will only marry an educated woman who is willing to be a housewife and teammate because 1. Unintelligent people bother me/ I'm nerdy, and 2. I plan to have kids.
I'm a man and I'd rather be doing the house 'work'. Although I'm a bit perplexed by the term work here. I'm not sure staying at home and looking after the kids, taking them to school, helping with homeworks, cleaning the bathroom all really compares to the most people's 9 to 6. Surely the old Skol 'keeping house' is a better term? Also worth commenting that in my experience it's only a wealthy elite that can afford that arrangement. In my home we both do a full days work and for the 'house work' in our 'free' time.
It all comes down to the guy I end up with. Some men respect what their wives do as houswives and somejust saythat she has it easy and that she is just staying at home watching TV playing withthe kids even ifher job takes much more workthan he could think of. If a man respects the work I do at home and how I take time to raise our child then Yes I would be a housewife, but if not. Then I don't see whats the point in doin all that, get a job, use the money to paya maid and babysitter and be a business woman that comes home to have relaxing family time just like he does.
I'd prefer to work. Despite the fact I'd like to stay home with my babies. If I had a choice I'd stay home with my babies until they were at least old enough to go to preschool before going back to work. To be honest I don't think I could handle being a stay at home mom. I hate being at home and I hate doing house work even more. I have to feel like I have a purpose. Obviously caring for your children and your home are definitely a purpose but I'd need something outside of the house to give me something to focus my untapped energy on.
If I had kids, I'd be a house wife for the early years of my kid's lives. I wouldn't want my kids raised by nannies. But once they start elementary school and are gone from 8-3 or 4 pm, I'd start working again but make sure to be home before they do on the bus.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Honestly from what i see from my mom who's a housewife, it's better to be a working wife. Her husband alone makes enough money to pay all the bills and our necessities but we don't get to get the things we want. I see there's many things she would love to have that he can't get her and it's sad tbh like asside from being stressed of taking care of the babies, i try to help as much as i can but i go to school. She stays home all day and doesn't go out like she use to when she had her own money to buy her own things. I just can't wait till i get a job soon so i can spoil her because she deserves it.
Being a housewife isn't a lazy choice, one have to put more effort and hardwork than 8 hours job. In a family everyone is dependent on everyone else, like a small society and every member of the family have to contribute their part. Being a girl I would love to work as a housewife if that is necessary, similarly if my family is in need of money I would love to work. Personally I find work of an housewife more challenging.
I am both, just because I work outside of the home doesn't mean I get to stop being mom and a homemaker.
I work double shifts mostly on weekends to get my full time hours in, in 2 days. That way the hubby is home with the kids and we don't need to worry about a babysitter. It works well for us because there's not much going on on the weekends and the hubby gets to do the stuff he's good at with the kids (fun) and I'm home all week for the "mom" stuff like real dinners, housework, doctors appointments and homework.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I'd much rather be there for my children and teach them things myself, compared to chucking them in a centre like every family seems to do now days. My mum started work again when we were toddlers/young children, but only night shifts, therefore she had us during the day. We didn't have much money, but we made it work. I compare my childhood to my young cousins today, and they're fucked. Barely see their parents because they're shoved in child care and are literally stupid. My step auntie and uncle leave their kids in an after school program so the mum can go watch tv for a few hours alone like? Be a parent maybe? Your damn children didn't ask to be born, you did that, now you need to take responsibility (and not by giving your 2 year old an iPad).
To tell you the truth, I really am not interested in working. There is nothing I am passionate about. If I married someone who made good enough money (like 80K+) then I would like to stay home completely. But if that's not the situation, then I will work if I have to. My preference would be to work until about 29/30 and then start having kids. I want a big family, 4-5 kids. I would like to stay home from the time the first one is born until the time that the last one starts school. After the last one has begun kindergarten, then I would go back to work.
Flexibility between both. It may be better for children's upbringing to stay at home for a few years during infancy and then transition back to work force once kid (s) reach school. Find/demand a job that requires hours you can handle that balances between motherhood and working and expect to be paid accordingly (it won't be equal). Takes pressure off husband so he can come home earlier too and spend more time with family. More balance for both. Might be idealistic given economic constraints tend to blow things up with reality.
I think before I get mariage serious with anyone, I will ask this question cos I don't want to force anyone to prioritize our future kids over a job. There are women that love to be there for their kids till they start school and there are women that willingly will give more hours to their kids than work. Find someone that fits with your plan not someone that see stay at home moms as oppressed. Not all men feel the same so it's all good. Everything men do is so one day they can get a family. We were raised to provide for wives and kids not just for ourselves and I think that is a sacrifice that gives us joy.
As you said it's completely her choice. I don't have a prefference.
If she feels like she wants to do that, rather than work, well fine. I wouldn't care, i know my childeren would be lived by their mom if she stayed at home or not.
But I think the times you are at home and you are constantly taking care of childeren, you might get bored after a while. You might miss the adult human interaction.
So as a guy, i think it's her choice, but i hope if she does choses to stay at home, that she doesn't become misserable.
And to flio the script. As a guy, or stay at home dad. I would be able to do that, but i would need some of my hobbies, to get me out of the houss.
I'm alsk scared in both cases, that it can bring some toxic conversations into the marriage.
I dont think I could be full-time housewife... I would definitely want my kids to be happy and I would love to spend time with them/have time for them. But I also like my job and I need to get out among people. I´d prefer a part-time job in my profession.
In my country it is very unrealistic, the wages of one person aren´t usually enough to pay for rent, electricity and support family (clothes, food,...) Both parents are normally full-time working people, hardly noone can afford to be a stay-at-home-parent.
I am a part of a lot of female groups who are married or in serious relationships. Majority of these women seem to be a housewife. Sometimes it seems sweet and fun. But then some others have bad experiences. Like the relationship they are in is abusive or not fulfilling, and because they dont' work or handle the money, they can't move on from that relationship as easily as a woman, like myself, who does make her own money.
But as a girlfriend who cohabitates and works, I feel like nothing around the house gets done because I am too exhausted from work and school. He has offered to be the sole provider, but I know where we live requires too incomes, but believe me, I have thought about it. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.
I love your question. Working wife/mother is important but a housewife is also a working woman especially if she has children. I respect greatly a working mama especially at home.
OMG yes thank you. It is work and everyone feels like they are entitled to tell her how to do it. You can reason with most adults but try reasoning with a small child. I went back to work part-time when my youngest started school just so I could have a bit of adult time.
Goodwifie, when I was an adolescente my mother repeated to me that a housewife and mother were the most powerful woman on the planet. Why? They reinforced the nuclear family and in her absence children oftentimes suffered greatlydue to self confidence and worth. As a man who has worked with abused children several years prior I can attest the power of a mother despite abuse from men when she personally provides the spiritual and emotional support and the strength to engage whatever challenges the child may confront in life. Motivation is a pragmatic power of strength. By the way, my name is Roger. Thank you for your invaluable influence as a mother to your little ones.
When children are growing and bonding I believe it is a duty as a mother (or father mother) to show genuine love and trust so a child can learn to be confident early on which can greatly reduce the risk of being another victim of mental illness caused by many issues pertaining to not having a loving genuine mother (daddy) .. I believe it would greatly reduce the risk of becoming a product of environment and system... lol and most importantly 1 less narcissistic member of society... But if a mom kicks ass, working is great too... but being a loving mother and wife is worth more than any dollar!
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