Nice guys finish last, okay. What about nice girls?

[VanityIsTheCurse]

Alright,

I've always fallen straight into the "nice guy" category. I've also been in a fair share of relationships despite that. Being a nice guy has never really held me back with girls, but that's because I don't even consider a girl with a mindset like "I need a bad boy". I notice girls with this mindset ALL the time and it drives me crazy, especially when they seem like nice girls. But nonetheless, I will not change my ways so that I can attract an abundance of girls. I'm not going to fall under the "bad boy" (or "douchebag") category because girls find it irresistible for some reason that I can't quite put my finger on. I say F*** that, I'll continue being nice and treating girls with respect when they deserve it and doing favors when I'm asked all without being a pushover. This is how I've been doing it ever since I can remember and it makes me feel good. ALTHOUGH, I always end up being the one who is more hurt by the end of it.

Now, my question is, do guys look for the "bad girl" too? I mean, do you guys out there go for the same douchebaggery in a girl that girls tend to go for in guys?

I for one will not date anyone who is not a nice girl. She can be as rebellious, badass and edgy as she wants, in fact that's often a plus. But I will never date a bitch. I want a girl with half a f***ing brain who can recognize that nice guys should not always finish last.

What about the girls out there? Do you feel like, if your nice, your at a disadvantage?

[Anonymous]

Well, I could be wrong, but this is how I see it.

I see a lot of guys dating girls who are bitchy, petty, crazy/irrational, game-playing, stuck up, superficial, etc. (this is what being a "bad girl" is to me, but your definition may be different). Even guys who seem nice, intelligent, and are attractive. One would think, why would such a great guy put up with so much bullsh*t?

And to be honest, I think the answer is physical attraction. I think that for a lot of guys, dating a hot girl is worth putting up with a lot of bullsh*t. And worse, it becomes a cycle---if you're hot, guys will date you regardless of how you act, which gives you no incentive to be a better person.

I think a lot of girls become disillusioned to think its okay to act this way, and a lot of guys are disillusioned to think that this is the way girls are and settle for that so they can date or have sex with hot girls. Thus, girls aren't challenged to be better people (treat people with respect, don't play games, think about things rather than just acting on your emotions, etc.).

So basically, its not that guys like "bad" girls, its that they're willing to put up with bad behavior because the girls are hot.

I feel like I have a lot to offer a guy. I'm intelligent, rational, fun, adventurous in bed. I don't care how much money a guy has or what kind of car he drives. I believe in equality in relationships, so I'm willing to ask guys out and I don't expect him to pay for everything. I don't get jealous if my boyfriend talks to other girls or watches p*rn, I treat people with respect. But I'm overlooked all the time. Not because I'm a nice girl, I don't think, but because I'm not that hot. :P

[VanityIsTheCurse]

I agree with you to an extent.

If she's/he's hot, why not, right?

I hate that guys and girls can be like that, so vein. It's sickening but it's the truth of the matter and I've kind of made my peace with it.

I think this Nice Girl and Bad Girl mumbo-jumbo is more of an issue when it comes to hooking up and less with real relationships, but it's still always there.

Anyway, thanks for responding!

[italykam]

People have different preferences as you said before. It really depends on the person. Some girls like the guys that act like jerks (I don't quite understand why) and others like the guys that show respect. I think when it comes down to long-term stuff, I would want to be in a relationship where the guy treats me like a real human being. Especially as we all grow older, we feel the need to respect others as we want to be respected. But as you also say, being nice can be a curse..What I think is the guys who act like jerks should be with the girls who think they are bad ass, and the people that know what respect is and how to use it should be with others that are like that...for the most part that's how it usually works..though not always.

[toriaenator]

Yeaaaa. Well actually, its more like sluts finish first in my opinion. And often these sluts are full of themselves bitches but they get ALL THE GUYS. well not all the guys actualy, I'm definitely not a slut and I don't consider myself a bitch either and I found my boyfriend (who coincidentally is one of the "nice guys" not one hint of douche in him.) but I'm lucky. at my school the dumb hoes get the guys. but they often get the douchebags.

agh I don't know its so confusing, I guess at the end of the day, nice girl and nice guy are meant to be together. good question though, I never really thought of the nice girl thing, just the ncie guy thing.

[VanityIsTheCurse]

Looks like you've got a head on your shoulders.

I steer clear of these "sluts", I'd rather be seeing somebody who is not a degenerate and respects themselves. How can you trust a true slut?

Slut is a strong word though, I don't use it often, but I certainly know what you mean.

Thanks for answering :)

[ArtistBboy]

What I have noticed in myself is the same as what you've listed.. The rebellious, edgy, comedy type of LADY.. Not a bitch, but a lady. If she can still maintain her class but be a bit of a "bad girl" underneath, then she's got me intrigued.. If she's a try-hard: "I'm mrs. confident, bow for me".. Well, ya know.. My knees just aren't feeling that good from all the approaching I've done. The whole "bowing" thing.. Lol sorry ladies, that won't happen.

My strongest keypoint is that if you present a bitch shield / game / etc - It's going to have it's counterpart.. A game begets a bitch shield.. A bitch shield begets a game.. etc and so forth.. it's an artful dance of mating that people aren't catching onto... What if you through up a bitch shield and I started singing: "Why can't weeeeee be friendsssss, why can't weeeee be friends"... Hmm, intrigueing!

Take care man,

ArtistBBoy

[killbenlanier]

Most of the girls I've been with weren't nice. They may have seemed nice at first, but they showed their true colors in the end. The real nice girls I'm interested in are usually taken by douchebags. I will admit to liking bad girls at times. They're fun because you never know what crazy sh*t they'll do or say next. Although, the fun melts away when you get tired of the bitchy behavior.

[venividivici]

nice girls usually are charming. a lot of men seem to fall for that. at least they can't say no to you even though you can see on their face that they'd like to scream NOOO! lol

although some prefer the dirty bitches. (i'm not saying nice girls can't be naughty, just that some guys go for the obvious sluts)

[VanityIsTheCurse]

Just wanna add that when a nice girl ends up having a naughty side it's extremely exciting. :)

[Anonymouser]

I think that there's two different sides. If you're a "bad boy" or a "bad girl", people are going to want you for sex. It's fun to do it with someone who's down for anything and doesn't really care. When it comes to relationships, girls and guys learn that the "bad" types of people don't make very loving partners. You should continue being the guy you are and a girl who appreciates you will want to be in a relationship.

[Jonny_]

I'd go for the confident girls, but they are all lovely girls... they aren't rebellious or anything. I'd be the same as you, I'd be nice, but not a total pushover and I always find nice girls... somehow avoid the brainless ones. But yea, don't change who you are for anyone. Girls don't end up with the bad boys.

[dwiller943]

Yes!! We are forced to have to wait around for at lease ONE good guy to notice us and go for us for once. And nice guys only finish last, because they wait until it's too late to stop chasing the mean girls and start going for that one special nice girl.

[Anonymous]

nice guys finish last but ironically nice girls are always treasured because any guy good or bad wants to settle down and marry a nice girl at the end of the day...thats just the trend I have noticed...

[VanityIsTheCurse]

Yet guys are regarded as shallow.

It's unfortunate

[Opinion Owner]

true =/

[DS4L_]

Nope, nice girls have that whole sweet and innocent thing going for them. ;) We've got a bit of an advantage. Unless you're looking for a one night stand then it's all for the bad girls.

[drummerdude25]

Same boat as you man... I really don't understand it.

[katiesmuff]

I don't think nice girls are at any disadvantage.

[drummerdude25]

Especially if they're good looking... Socially, an attractive, nice girl has it made. Every nice girl I've come by, no matter how they look really, has always seemed to have a lot of friends, and a lot of times, a boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Nice girls finish often (as in climax).