Why are women more attracted to bad/unhappy men?

Question

There is a lot of denial about this fact but if you observe female behavior in the wild there's no mistaking it. There have been lots of studies confirming it. Here's another one I found interesting. But why, ladies? Just why?

"Women find happy guys significantly less sexually attractive than swaggering or brooding men, according to a new University of British Columbia study that helps to explain the enduring allure of "bad boys" and other iconic gender types."

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/05/110524070310.htm

englisc · Accepted Answer

Because subconsciously smiling is often seen as submissive behaviour, and that often sub-communicates low value. It's kind of a way to curry favour. Women are naturally more attracted to a guy they view as having high value.

Think about an interview: the boss of the company vs the interviewee. The interviewee is seeking to make a good impression and impress the boss. The boss is judging the interviewee. Which one has the higher value there? The boss. Which one is the more dominant one in that interaction? The boss. Which one calls the shots in the interaction, and therefore has more power? The boss. Which one is more likely to behave in a way that seeks to curry favour? The interviewee.

The boss will ask questions and put pressure on the interviewee to respond. Sometimes they'll ask a question for example and maybe you give them an answer but they want more, so they stay quiet and stare at you blankly. You feel a little awkward as you try your best to think of something else to say to impress them.

All of this is high value vs low value communication. When a guy seems overly happy and has a big goofy "I'm so happy to be here" smile with a woman this is what it communicates, that he is trying to impress her. She's above him in value.

Women also are naturally more able to read facial expressions. There have been many studies done on this in both children and adults. Women have increased empathy, probably in order to give them a better ability to read and look after small children who can't speak.

In both female children and adults, studies find that they get a big hit of dopamine (feel-good hormone) when they socialise, particularly when they can make somebody smile or laugh. Much more so than men. If the guy is neutral or brooding and she can make him smile, this gives her more of a dopamine hit than a guy who is already smiling.

Many women say they like a challenge right? That's a challenge. It's also a challenge to win over someone who is or at least acts as if they're higher value than you are. Women like guys who are mysterious because that's also a challenge. They talk about male ego but many women also have an ego, and if they can be the one to make a guy act differently (this is related to the whole "changing" bad boys thing too), then they feel like that's some kind of achievement that makes them feel like they're special.

Johnnie1000 · Accepted Answer

Does the report say that they want the challenge to save them and then shape them as they want?

flamiE · Accepted Answer

I don’t know where you heard that from, most women don’t, but if there is a woman who is attracted to an unhappy man, I believe she wants to make him happy. Make him depends upon her, felling like he can’t be happy or even exist if she’s not around so he can stick to her forever.

Hurlyburly · Accepted Answer

Someone who seems sad or unhappy makes some woman want to care for them or "fix" them. With that wish they get attached quite easily to this person. A happy man on the other hand seems to them like he wouldn't "need" a woman in his life.

Factshurt90 · Answer

For The unhappy man women feel the need to feel useful. Some women like to see men as projects to “fix”. Usually covers a deep seated inadequacy within themselves. Acts of service help them feel worthwhile.
For the bad man women do it for control. They think they can change him.

lanabug · Answer

I dont want to date someone who's sad EVER. I dont want to feel depended on. I rejected a guy because he had mild-severe depression. I dont want to date someone who's bad (disrespectful, "a savage", criminal). If I'm mostly happy, my partner should be mostly happy also. Regarding physical appearance, how do you find a person who's sad sexually attractive? Do u like it when they cry while y'all have sex?😭

CT_CD · Answer

Women deny it but they are attracted to "bad boys". On one hand, they express wanting a relationship with a loving and committed partner yet on the other hand, they demonstrate an attraction to men with darker personalities.

Midnight_Kiss · Answer

I've never been attracted to "bad boys" even in my "younger" years I always drew to the intelligent conversationists, who I could learn random crap from.

LaBrownEyes · Answer

Bad guys make the world go round and are exciting. Same way how some guys like us crazy girls. Unpredictability.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Maybe it's because bad/unhappy men deal with women more.  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

"There is a lot of denial about this fact" Sure that is a fact in your opinion like being subjective. Under your circumstances. If that were always true, guys would be drama queens by now.

landonyou · Answer

Yea women are visual. They like the non sensitive douche cuz they feel safe with them but it never works out. So keep on doing you women change their minds always

GreatnessBack · Answer

I don't know the full science behind it, but smiling all the fucking time is gay. lol.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know who tf did this study but that's wrong. If a guy is unhappy with himself or his life, that's unattractive to me.

Anonymous · Answer

they're bored and they think they can "change" them they're "projects" so, when the projects all done, what do they do with them. they cheat

hellacray · Answer

Because they are bad and unhappy themselves.

alice55 · Answer

They want to fix them, play the savior.

Anonymous · Answer

It looks like you're an Analphabet. The answer is in the study

Anonymous · Answer

The healer syndrom.

Anonymous · Answer

Demons can fuck better than angels.

Anonymous · Answer

Best guess: they pity them.

Why are women more attracted to bad/unhappy men?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why are women more attracted to bad/unhappy men?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.