Why are some girls so possessive over their guy friends when it comes to the guy liking another girl?

[Anonymous]

This guy and I liked each other for a while but he seems very unsure of what he wants. He is close friends with some girls that we went to college with. I barely know these girls and I know he’s been talking to them about me. The one girl seemed very supportive and she even told me how sweet of a guy my crush is and everything, just like a wingman. She called me his girlfriend a few times too. The other girl my crush hangs out with is married and she seems more possessive. She mocked me while I was in the same room which made my crush feel uncomfortable and he told her to stop. She brought up his ex girlfriends while I was around which he said to her “I don’t want to talk about it when (my name) is right there”. I’ve heard my name come up in their “private” conversations when they thought I wasn’t listening, usually it’s her talking and him saying not to talk about me while I’m in the room. Things like that. Her and I have quite a few mutual friends who all say she’s a nice girl but she never gives me the time of day. Every time I would see her, she would give me a smirk. She told my crush that if he ever gets a girlfriend she’s going to steal her from him in which he didn’t say anything to that. She said that loud enough for me to hear too.

She’s been married for over 10 years. Why is she so protective over the guy I like? I feel like she maybe part of the reason why he’s being a little distant with me.

[MannMitAntworten]

This married woman likely does this too you to keep him available/accessible to herself. You threaten this dynamic by desiring his attention which takes away from the attention she gets from him. She may even tell him this in so many words.

I have a friend who behaves in similar fashion regarding me and other women. She was rather frank on her position of 'sharing' me with other women. That as 'her' best friend, that she comes first. To which I reminded her she is my friend and not a girlfriend. Essentially reminding her of her place in my world. Which still requires reminding from time to time.

That being said, he obviously likes you to some degree if he is shutting down this woman every time where you are concerned. Don't be coy, return volley the next time she does this with him. Be sure he hears your return fire...

[Bananaman177]

They're keeping that guy as a back-up plan.

She'll settle for him if he's the best she can do, but she wants to keep trying for someone even better, so she's trying to keep him on a shelf until she makes her mind up.

It's a very vampiric relationship.

[Asker]

Even though she’s married?

[Bananaman177]

Even more vampiric.

Even though she's married, she still thinks of him as one of her little pets. Maybe this marriage will fall through, maybe she plans to divorce her husband for money after a set number of years. If she's diabolical enough to treat your boyfriend like an object, what wouldn't she do to her husband or anybody else for that matter?

Sociopath.

[SarahsSummer]

“told my crush that if he ever gets a girlfriend she’s going to steal her from him”
So she’s bisexual?
Her behavior towards you makes no sense. I’d just ignore her completely and try to solidify your “crush” as a boyfriend.

[Asker]

I guess she is? My one friend who knows her was like “umm what do you mean?” And she said “Haven’t you heard about bisexuality? Sometimes I just want to have a girl.” I thought maybe she was just joking.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I view the sexes as having a major concern and a minor concern.

Men: Sex is a major concern, attention is a minor one.
Women: Attention is a major concern, sex is a minor one.

They both interlink in a huge way and one will eventually fuel each other's, BUT, there seems to be a lot of cases of dudes saying their in the friend zone lately and a lot of chicks just absorbing their attention.

What I'm trying to say is that these girls are being so possessive because it's an attention source. Just like a guy would be if his sex source was trying to monkey branch out.

[Giggletr0n]

I have a friend like this, when my relationship showed signs of failing my friend began all manner of tactics to get me to leave and move in with her and her family, at first I thought the very manlike view of "She wants to have sex with me" but it quickly became apparent that that that, thankfully, was not the case! I can't be dealing with possessive people so I cut ties with the friend.

[whatamievendoing117]

Oof what an animal.. Hey he must be a cutie ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[Asker]

It’s true

[whatamievendoing117]

so it is, and you shall be the more sentient side of this fighting-for-steak. Girl's nuts if she think she can flatter herself this way, it's all lust and disturbing groping from someone that partner's reaction probably wouldn't be too happyyy~...

[Crankor]

I dont get it either. Like they try to purposely keep the guy single even though the girl is already in a relationship or has no chance

[Iron_Man]

Most women are possessive over guys and don't trust them

[Anonymous]

no such thing as "just friends", with the opposite sex

they're cock blocking him

[Secret6620]

We are very territorial as females. 🧐