Why would a girl be "mean" to you?

[Anonymous]

This girl is very nice to everybody, she is always smiling and laughing and is very pleasant with most people. When I talk to her, she seems kind of standoffish and can be a real b*tch to me, although in a playful way. She seldom laughs at any jokes I make but I've caught her cracking a smile and turning around real quick, its almost like she doesn't want me to know I make her smile. We are always getting into these silly arguments about any stupid thing (we seem to disagree on everything), the arguments are always playful and we tease each other a lot like if any of us makes a mistake or says anything stupid. She never initiates any conversation with me but once its initiated, it can be really fun (at least that's what I perceive) and she STARES into my eyes when we are talking, I don't mean just eye contact, it just feels like she is trying to look right through me. People have told me that we should be dating because we get along so well, I just go "we do? really?" I like her a lot but I don't know if she does, I mean, she treats me differently from everybody else, I have to guess she either likes me or really hates me. I did ask her out once but she said no, so I have no idea what to make of it, any help?

[Texan83]

This is easy bro. First off don't listen to the crap other girls give you as advice. They don't know ONE thing about what it takes to be a MAN. They just know that they are attracted to men and they don't even know why.

First off girls like to test guys. They like to make tornadoes around you to see how you handle situations and how you handle her. This is natural because girls want a guy that will know how to handle different situations and not lose his cool/temper/ etc etc

When she acts like a bitch to you don't take it. Ignore her stop talking to her that day. You have to let her know that you will not put up with that kind of behavior and you are NOT going to reward her with attention. She will realize that she needs to be on her best behavior around you and you aren't going to put up with her B.S.

You need to go cold on her as in not talk to her for awhile and make her chase after YOU! Girls like the chase just as much as guys do and if you never make her chase you she will never realize what she has in you. So stop talking to her and allow her to miss you. She will want to become closer to you after that.

[likewoahhh]

ummm. no, we do NOT like the chase.

it just makes us feel miserable.

dont listen to this guy ^

[Texan83]

You meet a guy that confuses you and you like him and you don't know why you will chase him.

[TwistedLogic]

Well, you sound pretty interested in her, and that's what matters for now. If I were you, I would continue talking to her for some time, and then (if she doesn't show any explicit interest in me) I would back off.

I noticed that women have been playing similar games a LOT nowadays, it's like a fashion or something. I have been out of the game for quite some time, but I have always hated these mind games/confusion.

I wish this helps, and best of luck. :)

[Twinkle101]

A guy in my class is treating me the exact same way your treating this girl. And to be honest, I don't think she's all that interested. The guy in my class always jokes how he wants to do me in the dark and a whole lot of other CR*P. He is reported to the principal for sexual harrassment twice and will face short term suspension if he doesn't quit it. My mom and dad say we're going to go out someday but I'm not interested in the least. He's a pompus 'boy' that doesn't when too far is too far. And I have aboyfriend already and he still won't quit it. In my opinion I try to be a B*tch to him. I want him to leave me alone once and for all. So now you know how I feel when the guy did the same thing your doing to this girl.

[likewoahhh]

why would your parents encourage you to go out

with him if he was sexually harassing you? that's twisted.

[LiliLippps]

Yeah, she probably likes you but doesn't want to admit it, and she's probably using all of that B.S. to cover up the fact that she likes everything about you! If you really like her, maybea you should take some kind of aproach to making her come clean:) Alternitive: Be playfully affectionate, put your arm around her or something and see how she reacts, because we girls like attention from guys. If she tries to act like she doesn't want you to touch her, but doesn't complain much, and you can sence she likes it, then she must like you! That's just a suggestion tho.I hope I helped a little. PEACE:)

[likewoahhh]

woaaaaaaah. this is EXACTLY like me and a guy I like.

like, exactly.

i'm the girl in that situation, and I DO like him.

i mean, I do treat him differently.. cause I don't

want him to know I like him, and I don't want him

to know that he makes me laugh. I'm not trying to be

mean, or play hard to get.. its just, I'm scared of him..

i think she likes you.. girls are just weird like that.

[Asker]

hahaha but why would you do that, its so confusing. I mean, I can definetely feel something when we talk, she always looks at my eyes and while she may say one thing, I can feel another, I guess that's why I keep talking to her. I had a bad day last week and she was being difficult and I told her I was going to stop talking to her because there's just no amusing her. I haven't talked to her in a week and maybe its me, but she doesn't look like her usual self, she looks, shall we say "sad" maybe?

[likewoahhh]

i know its confusing, but maybe its cause she's guarded?

well if she looks sad, ask her what's wrong? show her that you care.

[Asker]

Thanks to your answer and others I can see that being "mean" seems to be a common behavior lol. Its not so much that she is mean, but more like she is trying to hide something. We do talk and share laughs but then is like she realizes that she is laughing and starts acting up all of a sudden. If I'm talking to her and she is being b*tchy and somebody else comes up is like she is a different person, its jarring haha. I can conclude that she may have strong feelings for me, either love or hate lol

[likewoahhh]

i'm like that with the guy I like, EXACTLY like that, and I like him a looooooooooooooooot.

so I'm pretty sure she likes you, she's just playing games?

cause I honestly don't even know why I act the way I do.

[alysaa16]

YES! I am like totally that girl you just described me like perfectly okay so wen she's being mean its trying to cover up the idea that she likes you and mayb its her way of flirting? same goes for laughing my crush is extremely funny and I have to bite my lip of dig my nails into my skin to keep myself from laughing turning around quick is because she was prob staring or somptin argung and teasing is GOOD! she may b shy and unsure if you like her so that's y she dusnt initiate convos keep talkin and get her more comfortable with you become her friend without going into the friend zone my crush has eyes TO DIE FOR and I love it wen I get to look at his eyes I try to keep my eyes not looking at him to hide the fact that I like him so wen I do get to look at him I love staring into his eyes ID SAY SHE LIKES You ASK HER OUT!

[likewoahhh]

agreed ^

[learningthegame16]

I think it depends on when you first asked her out. If you asked her out before you really knew each other (i.e. you just met her) and she said no, it might have been because she only dates guys that she befriends first, however if you asked her out in front of a lot of people she might have felt intimidated and unsure if you were seriously asking her out and said no to avoid riddicule and of course you asked her out after knowing her for a while she might not have been interested.

But the change of character/behaviour toward you does sound like she digs you on some level.

Hope that helps :)

[Anonymous]

Omg that sounds like how I used to act when I liked a guy! That's so embarrassing now when I read back and see how I must of come off. She probably likes you but feels unsure and doesn't want you to know so she puts up a defense mechanism. In my case I wasn't playing hard to get because I was a controlling bitch I just seriously did not want to get my feelings hurt and I didn't know how to act around guys. In retrospect, this is probably why I didn't have a boyfriend for the longest lmaooo

Remember how Helga used to treat Arnold on that old Nick show Hey Arnold? that's your girl lol. The biggest way you can tell a girl is interested in a particular guy is if she treats him differently than she does everyone else. if she's really nice to everyone but acts weird to you for no reason she probably likes you. if she's mean to everyone but acts nice then she probably likes you.

[Asker]

LOL, yeah I remember that show. She can be such jerk sometimes, although she doesn't ignore me, she has told me (in kind of a playful tone) that I bug her, that I'm not funny and to leave her alone. Yet when I DO leave her alone for a few days, or just plain ignore her, she gets upset and when I finally decide to talk to her she tells me to stop ignoring her, that its childish.but if she is telling me that I should leave her alone, why would she get upset, I don't know what she wants, really lol

[Opinion Owner]

With this kind of girl you are gonna have to take control of the situation. Start flirting with her but when she acts stupid just say Stop playing you know you want me lol (something like that) and let her know that you basically see through her. she wants you but doesn't know how to get you.

[Anonymous]

This was my relationship with a guy too, except for me, I knew he liked me and I just wanted to be friends. Since I only wanted a limited relationship, I know it sounds childish, but it was kind of habitual that I treat him more roughly. I was afraid to be nice to him and get too mushy mushy, because I didn't want him to ask me out.Then again, she could be afraid of showing you kindness because she does like you, and she doesn't want you to know. I'm sorry to give you an indecisive answer, but it just depends on the situation!

[msnia]

well usually its either playing hard to get or it may be that she doesn't like u. When some girls don't like the guy that likes them, sometimes they find themselves being a little mean because they're turned off. Not wanting you to see that she cracked a smile could mean that she didn't want you to get the wrong impression because some guys get carried away when you do the slightest thing & they think its an open invitation or your interested. That's just a personal perspective. When a guy likes you that you don't like that's a bit of a turnoff. I know it sounds a little wrong but guys do that too (most times). They don't like it either.

[Asker]

You are probably right. sometimes it seems like kind of a chore to talk to her. She talks to me and asks me questions but I just can't get her to laugh and it makes me feel a little uneasy. At the same time if I just stop talking to her and kinda ignore her, she would go up to me and start talking and joking around and if I keep ignoring her I can tell she gets a little "sad" until I start talking to her again. That's what makes me crazy, if she didn't like talking to me, she wouldn't go up to me

[msnia]

yeah just continue ignoring her a little then. I think your growing on her, she should come around and you'll notice the change in her. Let her like you a little. Don't ignore too much and don't crowd her too much. Be cool. That's attractive. Good luck.

[Yeahhbro]

man his girl is just playing hard to get, don't worry about it, just be chill and don't fall too easy or be easy to please that should get you her heart

[likewoahhh]

that's not true.. his situation is exactly like mine.

i don't want the guy that I like knowing he likes me,

so I pretend I don't like him. maybe she's doing the same thing?

[BunnyToast]

Usually in the time of liking someone, the person will be the complete opposite of what they are to everyone else. If you want it from a personal view point, I'm the same way. I'm always laughing and smiling, it is almost impossible for me to NOT laugh and smile. But around the guy I like, I act like I despise him.

[TigerRoseBear]

What's the point of that though? It just pisses people off. And if it doesn't p*ss the guy you like off, it at least tells him that you don't like him, which gives you almost no chance whatsoever to ever go out with him.

[BunnyToast]

Well a girl like that is playful and fun, so she would expect the guy to take it as playful and fun. The fact that it would make him angry would be a signal of "move onto the next guy."

[likewoahhh]

SAME!

[1-3-2-4]

I have a girl I told I liked her (I told her older sister) and omg she changed she went from being very flirty (touching me, sitting on my lap and hugs) to not giving me nothing now and hardly ever speaks.. And swears I'm taken if asked.. I asked twice if she was mad at me and she says no she's not.. but why act that way? Yes she's a bit younger then me she's 19 and I'm 26 but I mean come on she's out of high school now...

[BunnyToast]

The gestures at first were probably just friendly, playful gestures. But after she found out you like her she realized that doing this was teasing you, so she stopped.

[Virago]

people tend to do that, sometimes unconsciously!

I am a "nice girl" in general, always there for the one I love, friends etc..

and really nice to most people..

but I found out that I tend to be a bit mean (well this is what my friend told me)

when I treat my close friends.. this is when I noticed that I kinda liked him and didn't even know..

so yeah.. she might be in "like" with you..

[twty2retrospectively]

Does she touch you. High five, pat your arm, hand, ass?...jk. Would you call it flirting with you? oR ARE YOU NOT SURE ABOUT THAT EITHER? Please excuse the caps. You say playful how? I too STARE into eye's like that but only if I want to make him feel that deep right through me feeling. And I do that only If I'm really into him. Hmm, how long ago did you ask her out?

[Asker]

haha,she has only touched me once, one time we got mad at each other and then we realized it was stupid and we hugged.I have asked (playfully) for hugs after that but she refuses. I don't know if I would call it flirting but she acts this way only towards me, she is either shy with people she doesn't know that well or nice and "bubbly" with people she knows. I asked her out about, 4 months ago. After that I became quiet and she said to knock it off, but I don't need another "just friend"

[BLACKDIARY]

Maybe because she don't want to admit it to you. and she don't want anything to change between you to.. I mean she likes you but if she go out with you then things will change and she don't want that to happen so she's keeping your friendship as it is..

[Yeahhbro]

Dude this girl digs you biiig time, that is a way that some girls flirt with guys so they look strong against the guy they like.

[likewoahhh]

so true, I do that ^

[WovenEclipse]

A lot of girls can really tease and be mean to guys If they like them, kinda like some guys do apparently! Sounds like she likes you! =D

[Prof_Don]

You're very right. However, being mean to some1 that you like, imo, is a sign of immaturity. Would the OP (taking his age into consideration) really want to be with some1 that immature?

[WovenEclipse]

If you get into a relationship I'm sure that immaturity will go, =) Love can change people and I act childish around people I love. Though I'm immature all the time anyway =D

[irykiryk]

I think she does have something for you and she isn't sure. So try again and ask about her behaviour. She might be able to give you a bit more insight on why she is like that.

[mhairix]

I do the EXACT same thing...when I like someone ;) good luck.

[Anonymous]

She's a mean person

She doesn't like you

She is just joking, & you are taking her seriously

[Anonymous]

maybe she thinks your kind of weird.? and if youve asked her out once she doesn't want to go out with you but maybe just likes to flirt

[bunny420]

I'm mean to girls when I like them.

[Anonymous]

Seems like she's playing hard to get...