Girls, How can I be a good friend to someone who’s been sexually assaulted?

[Anonymous]

My friend revealed that when she was 12, she was sexually assaulted by an unrelated teenage boy. I don’t know much about it but I can imagine that it’s traumatic. This girl grew up with parents who worked a lot in her words, so she hung out with whoever lived in her neighborhood unsupervised. She also has a large number of siblings so her parents’ attention was divided — one of the siblings have special needs, so their “normal kids” like her got less attention. The parents had to focus on other issues. The violent incident was reported. She received counseling. I really like this girl as a friend. She’s a good person with a heart of gold. I like how she’s so open-minded, honest and genuine. We joke that she’s my big sister (2 years older). I just didn’t expect to hear something so evil and horrible about her past.

My mother once told me that I’ll very likely hear about cases of rape & sexual abuse from my female friends as I get older. I was prepared for it — I didn’t think it’d happen to one of my friends so young, I don’t know why.

[halloweenkween]

Coming from someone who has been raped, the best thing you can do as a friend is listen. Sometimes we aren’t looking for solutions, we just want to someone we trust to hear our story.

Your mother is correct though. You’re most likely going to keep hearing these stories from other female friends as time goes on sadly. It’s all too common. You seem like you are a great friend! Keep listening, being supportive and if someone is in trouble- remember to speak up as a mandatory reporter.

[bigmisssunshine]

Just don’t bring this topic up yourself. If she wants to talk about it, she would initiate. Don’t treat her differently either, as she’s still the same person you know.