I feel very depressed over my appearance, and I really don't know how to cope?

[Anonymous]

I would say I'm obsessed with how I look. It's not vanity, it's insecurity and discontent. I'm ugly. Facially, I feel I look ugly. My hair is thin, and I'm only 22. I've always had thin hair though, and both of my parents do, and so did my maternal grandpa and paternal grandma. My sister also has really thin hair, always has. I look ridiculous in a pony tail, or a braid, or anything that is not loose hair. And even then I feel I look ridiculous. People have even made comments without being asked! It's really embarrassing, but I don't have money to go for weaves, extensions and such... plus I hate being fake, I just hate it that I was denied the chance to be beautiful like all other women :(

I don't know how to deal. Everywhere I look, there are more beautiful women, who are also smart, kind, whatever. I am a good person, I am intelligent and all, but I'm ugly. I'm ugly and yes beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but only up to a point. I don't think anyone would think thin hair is prettier than thick hair, especially on a 22 year old woman. My body is also just average, not very attractive (I'm not fat, but I lack curves). I just feel like dying sometimes, because yes men want a faithful, loving, intelligent girl, but they also want beauty. They're always watching p*rn or ogling hot women, and I'm tired of having to accept it just because I'm ugly and they're missing out on beauty by being with me.

It hurts so much just to look in the mirror. People say it's the inside that matters, but it's not, even old people make fun of looks or judge based on appearance. I hate myself, and my self esteem is really low, just because I'm ugly. I know I have many great qualities, but they are of no value to me, because I'm ugly and I know men don't like ugly women, we get treated worse, cheated on, etc. I just know it. I hate it :(

Updates

+1 y

And yes I know the boyfriends of gorgeous women also watch p*rn or ogle other women, but at least those girlfriends know that they are attractive because other men are constantly looking at them or compliment them, some even work as models and such. I could never model.

[timetowaste]

You're too harsh on yourself.

My hair is really thin also... It's like baby fine, but there are ways to make your hair appear thicker. I use volumizing shampoo and conditioner, but very very light use on the conditioner. My favorite is Dove. It makes your hair smell really good, and it works best for me in making my hair appear more full. I flip my head over and blow dry my hair completely from the roots down with a brush so I won't have to use a straightener on it which will make your thin hair limp :( Tease your roots a bit. Also, the right hair cut does wonders for your hair.. last summer I cut my hair into a long bob, and it looked 10x better. I'm thinking of cutting it that way again this summer. Super easy to maintain and style and still looks good when I don't have time to do anything with it.

You are your own worst critic, and I think we all notice flaws in ourselves that other people don't see unless you point it out. It makes me sad to see all of these men and women so depressed about the way that they look, because I was the same way when I was younger and I know what that feels like. Dress yourself up, even if you don't have anywhere to do. It really does make you feel SO much better. Even if I'm sitting around the house all day.. if I go take a shower, do my hair, and put on some makeup and some decent clothes other than sweatpants, and it makes me feel good. When you feel good, you exude more confidence.

[eithyy]

You "just know it" you say. Well, I think you've been telling yourself all this bullsh*t for so long that now you actually believe it. And that's sad. There is someone out there who will think you're gorgeous NO MATTER WHAT. Besides, only something like 2% of the population actually looks like that model ideal. What really matters is confidence. I swear to god. Its all about confidence. If you feel like you're ugly you'll be much more shy and insecure and other people will be able to see that. Insecurity isn't very attractive to anyone. After all, its no fun to be around someone who's constantly second guessing themselves and putting themselves down. It brings everyone else down with you and its exasperating to try to make you feel better if you never listen to what we're saying. Eventually we just give up. So what you need is a good mantra. Tell yourself every morning when you get up and every night before you go to bed "I am beautiful. I am confident. I am ready to take on the world!" The more you say it, the more you'll start to believe it. It's only going to work if you decide that you're going to make a serious effort, though. If you decide (subconsciously or not) that you want to stay miserable, you'll stay miserable.

[juliarachels1]

Hey,

Just don't feel depressed, Why not use some hair products for hair regrowth?

I had the same problem, I had thin hair also but when I used vitamins from link

my hair was grown a lot.

[Milesdavis2998]

You're being hard in yourself and to tell you the truth that's a good thing. You see qualities about yourself that you don't like or down right hate and that gives you the ability to change your physical appearance. A lot of time and effort and you can mold yourself into the person you want to look like.

I was 260 lbs with NO muscle. I too couldn't look in the mirror. I changed every aspect of my life to meet my own desires. Two years later I was a chiseled out of rock and got all the ladies.

Then I realized something. I became the person I most hated because my attitude and personality were destructive towards other people. I figured out that 'not looking how you want' doesn't make you ugly, your personality does.

SO! Your NOT ugly and if there are things you feel you'd like to work on, there's a million ways to go about it. If anyone tells you you're ugly, I'm sure the nearest 'nice guy' would be more than happy to kick their butt and take you out on a date.

If you need any suggestions, I have lots!

Go get em! =)

[Asker]

Wow, that's awesome, congrats! I wish it was something that I can change though, but it's the shape of my eyes, my lack of hair, or the small boobs... I guess I can change myself, but I'd end up being fake and plastic, not naturally beautiful, a fraud.

But congratulations, what you did is amazing and I'm glad you accomplished it. You must feel very proud.

[Milesdavis2998]

Pride is one of the two driving factors of being a man. It helps and also hinders us nearly to a fault. Thank you for the wonderful words however my big change was my attitude, not my looks. There is where you have to start. Also, it's not an overnight process. It's long, grueling and down right painful at times. Find ONE small thing that you'd like to change and work on that. A hair style that you don't normally wear. Maybe clothes that make you feel better. Step by step. It works.

[MrOracle]

You should get a job working with models. Seriously.

What you'd learn is that models look a whole lot like you do when you both get out of bed. Anyone can look MUCH better with $2000 worth of hair and $1500 worth of make-up, plus custom-fit clothes. But without that stuff, many "hot models" look very average. I know, I've seen them.

And even though many DO have "great" bodies, there isn't a single girl who can't give you a list of the things she hates about her body.

What I'm trying to say is that no one is perfect, but a HUGE part of what makes you attractive is your personality and attitude. Insecurity is a major turn-off, far more than thin hair could ever be.

Bottom line: you can CHOOSE to be insecure and end up alone and bitter, or you can decide to improve what you can and accept what you can't, and love yourself regardless, and that positive attitude will almost instantly make you much more attractive to both sexes.

[foolycooly1001]

thin hair isn't that bad. I think you're overreacting

[Asker]

There are many styles I can't wear because I look ridiculous in them. Once I was wearing my hair in a simple ponytail, and some people started making comments about how little hair I have and how I must save so much on shampoo! It's embarrassing, plus in p*rn and men's mags you never see women with thin hair. I mean, try saying the same to a bald guy... it's the same.

[foolycooly1001]

would you send me a picture?

[Asker]

Lol, no, sorry, I prefer not to send pics.

[foolycooly1001]

all rite, but I can't really say how you look without it.

[508Ricky]

I know your not as ugly as you make out.

Plus I don't believe the thin hair makes a massive appearance difference.

Your being to hard on yourself.