After 1 date she's still interested, texted Sunday suggesting meeting, but 3 days later still no response. Am I being led on here/ politely ghosted?

[Anonymous]

Both late 20s. We VN'd lots, bonded over things we talked about & music (her words not mine). Met 2 weeks later, got on great, shared a few kisses at the end. She texted lots after & the next day. We haven't met since as we've both had stuff going on but have been texting a bit here & there.

She sent me a VN Friday just gone asking to meet but I was busy. I replied to her in a VN suggesting Sunday instead. I knew she was moving Saturday so didn't expect a quick reply. I didn't hear back till late Sunday evening, tbh I was worried she'd ghosted. She apologised for the late reply, said it'd been hectic moving/ settling in the new place. She said it would've been nice to meet but she'd only just had time to reply, said it'd be good to hang out sometime 'next week' (e. g. this week).

I replied Monday PM with 2 VNs, in the 2nd I asked if she'd like to meet on Friday or Sat. Didn't hear from her that day, then Tuesday I remembered I've plans Friday so basically double texted, saying 'I have plans Friday can you do Saturday?'. She's said before she sometimes takes a while to get round to VNs so I figured a short text would be easier to read/ reply to. Today, still no reply. I've noticed her online a couple of times and still nothing...

I know people get busy but it's not that hard to a reply to a short text is it? She seems interested and engaged e. g. apologising for the long replies, asked how my W/E was, suggested meeting this W/E. The first time long reply was understandable as I knew she was busy, but now 2nd time, it feels a little like I'm being politely ghosted. Confusing & just seems a bit rude/ out of character tbh.

I kinda feel like saying ‘I don’t mind if you’ve lost interest, I just need a heads up’. As her replies were V quick before. But I know I should just be cool & let things play out naturally. Thoughts?

TL;DR: Girl I went on 1 date is interested but takes days to reply. It's confusing, feels rude/out of character & like I'm being led on. Thoughts?

[Hogwheels]

I think its worth asking for a direct answer if she's still interested. It doesn't hurt to ask, providesclosure and if she doesn't respond, take it as a clear sign. No harm no foul.

[Asker]

Yeah I'm just not really sure how I'd phrase that without sounding needy or pissed off.

I don't want to make the assumption that she's ghosted as I know she's had some stuff going on recently.

[Hogwheels]

I think if she's turned off by your authentic self, she's not good for you.

[Hogwheels]

There are girls out there who will like that your invested.

[Asker]

How do you mean if she's turned off by my authentic self?

Tbh I'd found OLD to be a complete waste of time. Of the 6 or 7 good dates that've seemingly gone well e. g. we've got on like a house on fire, kissed, or carried on texting after, they've all fizzled out by the person either ghosting straight after, soon after, or saying they're 'not ready to date', only for me to see them on a diff app a week later.

This girl actually seemed different, I felt we connected differently when we matched and chatted for like 2 weeks, connected so well and so differently when we met, continued talking while she went through some stressful business over the last 2 weeks, only for the exact same thing to seemingly happen now, out of nowhere, for seemingly no logical reason, after she invited me to hang out last w/e and said she wanted to hang out this w/e too. I'm actually shocked at how dishonest people are these days. I'm wondering if it's most people nowadays or just the majority of app users.

[Asker]

Yeah I mean I wouldn't say I've come across invested, I've just mirrored her interest and been patient with her while she had some stressful shit the last 2 weeks. The weird thing is she seemed to appreciate a lot of it, always saying 'thanks for saying this' or that, or thanks for being so kind and understanding etc. So to just ghost out of nowhere just seems mad rude to be honest and V unexpected.

[Hogwheels]

I mean don't avoid asking her an important question about your relationship because you think it'll scare her away. If it scared her away, then she wasn't right for you. Relationships are serious things and need to be taken seriously. If she can't put her big girl pants on, she's not worth your time.

[Hogwheels]

If she's seemed appreciative so far, it sounds like she's pretty mature. I don't think expressing your concerns in a way that let's her know you care about her should push her away.

[Asker]

I mean we have no relationship as we've only met once, but I thought it meant something at least that we/ she stayed in contact while she had some other stuff going on. Either that or she was bored and liked the attention, but she really didn't come across like that. But could just be a sly person, who knows.

[Asker]

But yeah you're right. If she can't deal with someone asking her what happened after she's just abruptly gone off the radar, seemingly overnight, after staying in contact with them and saying she wanted to meet up, then that's borderline psychotic in my opinion and not something I can be bothered with.

[Anonymous]

The truth is she’s not very interested. And you messaging her something like you said you feel like doing will not change that, it’ll just make her even less interested. Just move on.

[Asker]

Right, yeah, her not replying now is clearly showing lack of interest. But it begs the question why bother inviting me to hang out last Friday, or why bother replying to me on Sunday and suggesting we hang out another time. Makes no sense to me.