Why is she upset we aren’t talking anymore?

[Anonymous]

So this girl and I met at work and we would talk all the time and she would show signs of interest towards me but I’m still not sure if she was just being friendly or not. Anyway I kind of said jokingly I wasn’t interested in her and now she’s stopped talking to me and being weird. She would start playing games like trying to get my attention/try to make me jealous but when I’d try talk to her she would seem disinterested and or busy. I asked her a few times what was up and why she was avoiding me etc and she’d play it down and say everything was fine. She would still be acting weird and when I asked her again she got uncomfortable and walked off. I had ignored her for a few days as she seemed scared of me for some reason so I thought it would be best to give her some space. After then she had opened up again and tried to get my attention, kind of chasing me but I’m still confused with her behaviour so I’ve kept ignoring her and she’s upset. I just don’t get her behaviour and why she’d be upset not talking to me now if she didn’t want to talk me before? Why did she start acting weird? And when ask her what’s wrong why won’t she tell me instead of denying it?

[ConfusedGal87]

She clearly liked you before, you turned her down and she's probably embarrassed but still has feelings. So she's hot and cold because you've rejected her but it's hard not to give you attention. She's also probably waiting to see if you'll make a move now that's she's out it out there- why would she put it all out again to get rejected again? If you like her, let her know.

[Asker]

How can you tell she liked me before? I’m clueless. I did think though she might have been interested in me as after I mentioned something about not being interested she totally changed her behaviour and being weird. I do feel like she also wants me to make a move as she is trying to make me jealous now, seeing my reaction to figure out my feelings towards her, also maybe wanting me to chase her. Do you think I’ve confused her? How do I tell her how I feel?

[ConfusedGal87]

It just sounds like she was flirting with you. When I liked a co-worker, I did the exact same thing because he wasn't giving me any signs back. I would have liked it if he'd asked for my number, asked me to each lunch with him, and then asked me to hangout outside of work.

[Asker]

Oh ok so you’ve been in this situation before with a coworker you liked. Well we did sit together at lunch a few times but then she stopped sitting with me which was weird. She did talk about hanging out but I never asked her. Maybe she was hinting she liked me and wanted to hang out but just gave up because I never gave her any signs back

[ConfusedGal87]

Yeah if she hunted at hanging out, she was trying to see if you'd ask her to hangout. She's backed off because she's not seeing mutual signs of attraction. I'd just increase contact and communication with her, even if she's hot and cold about it, then ask her to hangout outside of work.

[Waldoe]

you need to make up your Mind... stop playing games, and be Honest with her... WHAT do you want? friendship? relationship? work colleagues? then you need to tell her, she may Not want the same thing. Then you can deal with reality...

[Asker]

Am I playing games how so? I would probably like a relationship with her eventually but at this stage I’m happy being friends. I don’t know what she wants though and I can’t seem to get her to open up and talk about it but then gives me mixed messages. Do you think she wants friendship or is she interested?

[Waldoe]

tell her exactly where you would like the relationship to lead... Dating, Marriage, Children... whatever it is, you are allowed to chase your dreams