Should I get rid of my shyness or embrace it?

Question

crmoore · Accepted Answer

You should do whatever you naturally would. And that doesn't necessarily mean stay what you naturally/currently are, but if you naturally wanted to change it (genuinely, and entirely independent of what others think you should do), then you should do it. But if you dont have true, genuine compulsion to change it, don't.

I've been in similar situations. Where there are things people tend to think should be improved upon. And I considered changing for a period of time, but my heart wasn't in it. And I came to the realization that if I did force myself to change in that way, all I'd be doing is pretending to be something I'm not.

However, to be clear, I don't think the same thing of all change. If you genuinely want to change or improve something, that's still you.

Dragonpurple · Accepted Answer

I've never figured out how to get rid of it, I can ignore it and over come it but only temporarily and it causes great anxiety to do so.

I am the guy that gave up straight A's in school just to avoid getting up in front of the class and would take C's or D's because I couldn't handle it.

If you have a true version of it, you'll likely only be able to temporarily ignore it, like I do. It never truly goes away.

Best tip though is to just not care what anyone thinks about you at all, but you'll still have shyness.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Introversion is absolutely fine. It should never been seen as inferior to extroversion.

But shyness is an inability, or hesitation, to express oneself. And that stems from insecurity, usually. (Or something similar.)
Being particularly inhibited has some advantages, but in general it's sort of a waste.
Shy people fear being persecuted or criticized or critiqued. But often there's nothing much wrong with the things they would say, they just can't handle anyone judging them. And that is something to get over. It is through self-expression that we bounce ideas off of others, and learn where our thinking is sound... and where it can be improved.

Kas19 · Accepted Answer

Shyness isn't inherently bad.

I used to be really really shy (mainly because of abuse and I dread social interactions) but found that people tried to take advantage of that.

I'm stilly why or "modest", however you wanna put it. I don't like the spotlight and I never really have. I eventually forced myself into "spotlights" to try to face my fears. Ultimately didn't solve the shyness or anything.

It's okay to be shy, just don't be timid. Fake confidence if you have to. It's usually men that take advantage of that.

booboopiano · Answer

As Amanda said, shyness is the inability to express yourself freely. Until you can express yourself freely, you will forever be in that fear state of mind worrying about the hat others think of you. That entrapment of your mind takes you away from truly enjoying yourself all the time, rather than when you are only in the comfort of a select few of others. -24 and still shy

Nikola321 · Answer

I think it's not really possible to get rid of it, at least not completely. Even if it is, you shouldn't, cuz many find shy girls super cute and adorable. But, I'd say, you should try to limit it, and be able to fight it if needed, cuz if you are too shy, it can give you problems :/

ohshee · Answer

I think you could find a happy balance there are times to be shy I think you should explore it and experienced it both sides of it either way there's a beautiful person in there that will be seen and felt in a different light you have to experience it to understand

DarkCarousel · Answer

Being shy or reserved isn't a bad thing at all. The world needs more observers, more people that are not immediately reactive to things around them. (Certainly not applying that to all outgoing extroverted people.)
Just make sure that even as a shy individual, you are able to set respectful boundaries for yourself.

watrewks · Answer

Depends on how it affects you. If it keeps you back then change it, but if you can use it to your advantage then go for it.

But your shyness is probably anxiety related and you probably want to change it. Being the shy girl can have an advantage in having a guy chase you but thats a specific situation and I’m sure you want to be your most beautiful open self.

Anonymous · Answer

can you function with it? can you hold a job? can you hold a relationship/friendship? you need to now when to cut the shyness in appropriate situations because you cannot be shy when you are trying to get by in the world. i would know.

msbrightness · Answer

What an interesting question! Probably the best one I have seen on GaG so far 👏
Would say embrace it, in the sense of not just randomly being available against your better judgement.
Find that someone special, be gentle with them and you are bound to be happier than any of the forced extroverts. Or even the natural ones - by being shy you get your privacy, which, with the right person, can be awesome!

zeitgeist057 · Answer

It's fine to be comfortable being alone and taking time for yourself. But it's another thing to be crippled by an inability to interact with other people. I think it's much better to have the ability and confidence to interact, then use it or don't as you see fit.

Being shy is a "cute" trait so some people might encourage you to embrace it. But I see it as a handicap that is rooted in insecurity, and therefore something to overcome and train yourself to be stronger.

LeoElias · Answer

Be who you are. You can always be 50% 50% too. If you really want to be extroverted, then try talking to people more. Learn charismatic tips and tricks. Learn to be more assertive. But also don't lose your kind soft side that comes from being introverted. Good luck.

BrunetteNYC · Answer

Sometimes shyness happens at a young age, but other times it melts depending on the people you're around. I think that people who know you will be flattered that you trust them enough to gain confidence with them. Be who you are :)

Billyscotter · Answer

Shy women usually really suck at hiding interest, and are totally obvious when they really like a guy. But, I’ve been rejected by shy women, even after they said they were interested. So I’ve gotten tired of women like that. Some shy women swing back and forth between “I like you” and “um, I’m kinda busy”, which can be exhausting for the guy.

A_Nihilist · Answer

Neither.

I wouldn't say you should embrace it, as playing on a feature of yourself can annoy people.

However, you shouldn't get rid of it because screw anyone who says "You have to come out your shell" screw those people so hard.

TDDMS · Answer

At one point in my life I thought shyness was cute, in reality it's not. Shyness is just another word for social anxiety. Too many shy women I've encountered tend to have serious issues. For instance, the ones I can think of all came from families where their parents divorced when they were 10-12 years old and this left them with social anxiety/shyness. And to be clear shyness/social anxiety doesn't equal introversion.

RawIronhide · Answer

By embracing it you will eventually overcome it. Not to say that you'll never get shy but it'll be something you're managing rather than it overcoming and controlling you causing further anxiety.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

A bit of both, you can be confident and come over a bit shy. it gives you that girlie vibe without being all kickass confident. but main thing is build your confidence.

Anonymous · Answer

For women it doesn't really matter in regards to the dating world obviously, because nobody gives a shit about a woman's confidence, that's not how men are attracted to women, should be obvious as to what I'm talking about, I'm referring to how historically and traditionally, guys have always been expected to do the heavy lifting when it comes to starting a relationship

Blackcupcake · Answer

Both. You shouldn’t let your shyness stop you from pursuing what you want, but you should also embrace it when it’s not necessarily being an obstacle if you know what I mean 😊

Serenityy · Answer

I say embrace it! Maybe you're more reserved and there's nothing wrong with that. Western society values talkative people, but being reserved is valued too. I think shy girls are usually sweet, smart, and romantic. I know because I'm a "shy" girl too

BossBilly · Answer

What a tricky loaded but really great question that im sure everybody got stuck as they went to answer your question.
I am rarely without am answer. you are 16? U are a smart one idc who thinks im wrong over a question... do everything ur ownway in life.. everything

IamStardust · Answer

I say you should embrace it, because trying to get rid of it would not be natural. It may even come as insincere.

Elliegirl · Answer

Be confident and embrace who you are. Some guys will find your shyness cute a d endearing.

Cathy7734 · Answer

It seems to me that shyness is more acceptable for women than it is for men.

pigoat · Answer

You can get rid of it? If it were that simple lol

mitchello · Answer

I say get rid of it, you will get a lot of good opportunities in life that you will just refuse if you’re too shy to take them but don’t go crazy

Surely · Answer

Shyness is cute. But you will get walked over in life. You need to stand up for yourself when needed. Shyness won’t make it.

Seppel · Answer

Do what feels better for you. Don't do what others do or say only care about your own behaviour and comfort If it's about things you are doing

1truekhaleesi · Answer

Embrace it. People who talk too much don't make an effort to shut up.

rebeliouse · Answer

@sweetener_ both u should embrase it but be confident when you need to

princeofromance · Answer

You should definitely embrace it. Your shyness is part of who you are.

suhasbk · Answer

Shyness is ' ornament' of beautiful girl, it improve ' beauty' of girl n made moreover beautiful by, shying

FilmGuy93 · Answer

If it's preventing you from doing what you want to do in life; get rid of it.

Iron_Man · Answer

The more you talk to people online The less shy you’ll be in person so keep practicing

Anonymous · Answer

It’s okay to be shy but it’s also not a badge of honor. It’s just a trait. If you like yourself then that’s all that matters

DiegoO · Answer

It's a sign of insecirity. Do not embrace your insecirities. Work on them.

Wise4myage · Answer

Shyness will do nothing but hold you back, so I say get rid of it.

Eric027 · Answer

Shyness it's kinda cute in some way especially one a pretty girl like you

Joshua0213 · Answer

Its not always a bad thing as long as you can work out of it in a relationship eventually

Leavesbound · Answer

Keep it but learn to use it to your advantage.

Anonymous · Answer

As you get more matured in Christ you will grow in boldness.

jshm2 · Answer

Neither, learn to work with confidence.

dmover65 · Answer

embrace it. its just who you and and it can bee seen as sexy

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Embrace it I think Shyness is so adorable

Anonymous · Answer

Since when was shyness something to turn it on or off!

zagor · Answer

It's not entirely a choice.

dudeinohio · Answer

Really no way to change a personality.

deeks1121 · Answer

Absolutely embrace it. But be confident also

Grubhub · Answer

Always better to get outta your shell

NathanDavis · Answer

Evolve it, like a pokemon.

SHREYASH007 · Answer

shy girls are attractive and hot.

Guanfei · Answer

Embrace it. A shy girl is super cute.

sensible27 · Answer

Depends on why you're shy, no?

robocop666 · Answer

some people find shyness attractive

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

What are you shy about

BentAssassin99 · Answer

Shyness is adorable

friendzoned4life · Answer

If you can choose you are not really shy

Zygum · Answer

Leave shyness, explore your self

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Embrace it.

COMMODOREII · Answer

You are shy? 😕

Midnitetoker33 · Answer

KEEP IT

DeltaCharlieEcho · Answer

You’re not shy.

Should I get rid of my shyness or embrace it?

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How can I get over my shyness?

Should I get rid of my shyness or embrace it?

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