Do pretty people know they're pretty?

[Anonymous]

assuming you don't have a lot of close friends who might compliment you, or never had a boyfriend or any male friend,

how would you know if you're pretty, or is there just a sixth sense feeling that you get that you are in fact considered pretty.

get differing opinions from my siblings...my sister calls me ugly (she's in high school, and I'm 6 years older than her), which hurts my feelings a bit (Which I'm scared to admit) because she is just a little kid in high school...

How do you know if you're pretty or not? I heard that guys will bombard pretty girls with their attention, but I don't think that's necessarily true since there are many attractive girls without many guy friends or a boyfriend...they seem to have a lot of girl friends, though... this thought has been going through my mind lately, I've never had a boyfriend and I'm 22 y.o... and maybe if I were pretty (and I don't know if I am or not), I would have had at least some male friends by my side...

Updates

+1 y

Or maybe the fact that male hiring managers don't tend to hire me tells me I'm unattractive in one form or another...although, I have no trouble finding entry level jobs (it only takes me at max 2 days of hard searching to find a restaurant that will hire me)

Updates

+1 y

Okay most of you guys are giving me the wrong type of answers...i didn't say that I was def horrendous looking.. I just asked how you know if you're attractive or not based on signals people give you...its just that not many guys approah me in school, and just wanted to knkw whether it was related to me not looking attractive enough or if they were intimidated...

[Anonymous]

I'm considered pretty by my friends and they hint that it should be easy for me to get a boyfriend even though I've never had one I'm 18 years old. (It might have something to do with going to an all girls school for 7 years but yeah, never had one.) I don't have very many close guy friends either so they won't tell me anything. From the attention I get from guys when I go out, with or without makeup I assume I must at least be attractive.

It is possible to be pretty but not attractive e.g. kate moss link or ann ward link , in which it then may be harder to find a guy that will date you. Quite a few top models can be described this way. What tex151 said is true, people do tend to be draw towards attractive people. I do have a lot of friends even though their mostly girls.

Since you say you don't have very many guy friends in general, through them you may not be getting the opportunity to meet guys that would like you. And because many guys find it hard to approach girls who are considered pretty, they won't approach you for fear of rejection.

I would say post a picture, but comments from people on the internet aren't exactly reliable and the confidence you gain from it won't last long.

So the best thing to do it just be more aware of the way people (especially guys) you meet act around you. Shyness, avoiding eye contact, excessive smiling etc. are a few signs of a guy finding you attractive.

[usagichan]

If we're referring to girls, I think most pretty girls know they're pretty, they just suffer from insecurity/low self esteem.

The way to test whether you're actually pretty but with low self esteem, or you're ugly with realistic self-esteem, is to smile at, approach, and be friendly to at least three guys. If the majority of the guys are polite rude, you're probably not very attractive. If the majority of them respond in a friendly, positive manner and try to continue the conversation with you, congratulations, you're attractive.

This is also a way to test the whole "confidence" thing. I can't freaking stand the whole "Oh if you just have confidence, you're attractive" speech. I've tried it a couple of times, with various guys in various states of inebriation, and nearly always got a "Deer-in-the-headlights-oh-God-someone-save-me" look. THAT'S when you can be sure you ain't wining any beauty contests.

[Asker]

Best answer by far... Keeping it real and just the answer I wanted... I agree with you, I'm tired of hearing that confidence is key...

[FierceMegan]

Honestly, if you like who you are, that's all that matters. I've seen guys flock towards plain Jane's because the girl exudes confidence and she loves herself. Content happy people who make others feel good always attract the opposite gender. Really love yourself, be a good person, and everything else will fall into place.

I'm 23 and I've never had a boyfriend. Guys rarely ask me out, and the guys that do like me are not for me, for example, a two of my professors came on to me. Not a good idea. You're not alone, the Big guy in the sky has got it all mapped out for you. You seem like a caring person, so you must be beautiful. Cheer up! :D

And for your sister, when she calls you ugly, just say, "No, I'm beautiful. I'm wonderful." Say that corny line to her enough and she'll stop. Just cause she thinks it's a stupid response.

[Asker]

But you're gorgeous! Me too, professors come on to me , too most of them much older than me...guys my age rarely approach me... I get a lot of strange looks from people though

[FierceMegan]

Thank you---Guys our age, it's rare when you find a mature one, so don't worry. I think older guys are over most of their issues regarding, "getting turned down" so they don't care. Just be patient and when the opportunity presents itself and you meet a nice guy, snatch him up!

I advise not to pay any mind to the strange looks, some people are weird and they just stare. I've learned to think, "they're not even thinking about me." It helps to be more comfortable with yourself.

[gamer24x7]

Nice answer +1

[doubleoh]

depends took me about 20 years of my life to realize how sexy I was

here's the secret formula in y-intercept form

y = mx + b

y = good looks

m = confidence

x = body language

b = preparation (grooming/hygiene)

confidence is a big part of it but body language is the big thing that people miss. how you carry yourself reflects a lot of on how people perceive you. if you're walking with a slouch and with facial hair and yesterdays wifebeater on you're not so hot. but if you walk with a sense of purpose while looking so fresh so clean it doesn't matter what you're ugly or beautiful. that in itself is hot.

see me, I like to take care of myself and look good and dress well and smell good. I know it and then I walk like a man's man and I know I'm hot sh*t yeeeee boi

[Asker]

Confidence only applies to guys. If a woman is confident, but unattractive, it'll just make her seem annoying. I don't believe in confidence, it just makes a person seem ungrounded and unrealistic.

[doubleoh]

it'll just make her seem annoying? ungrounded and unrealistic? you can look for a million excuses as to why something won't work, but in the end it is what it is. do you realize how hot a guy would think a girl was if she was able to come up to him and ask him out? that's confidence right there, and it's downright sexy.

[Asker]

Well, you already know you're hot, so it's easy to be confident

[Asker]

Wow, never in a million years would I ask out or approach a guy... Only if he made it really obvious, like touching my butt or staring intensely at me, but then, he would just turn me off...

[Asker]

...and unless you were kim kardashian, a girl with low self confidence would risk a lot in just approaching a guy, especially a cute one...and I bet guys wouldn't think it would be so hot if an average, mousy looking girl approached him...

[doubleoh]

man you are such a defeatist =/

[rotarymoon]

kim kardashian is not hot; definitely not in my book. I would rather be with you than her and I am extremely serious about that comment...I am not being nice. In my book a hot women would be a self-respecting, confident person with integrity and who gives a sh*t about her chasity.

Also personality>looks in my opinion. I can go with decent looks but good personality but never good looks and sh*t personality.

[rotarymoon]

Also a girl with decent looks who is confident is not annoying. Confidence is as basic as self-respect & self-esteem.

Confidence and arrogance are two completely different things and arrogance is no way attractive. What you referred to as "confidence" in your comment is actually arrogance.

And arrogance is never attractive whether male or female. However, not everyone understands that in my opinion.

[usagichan]

But that's the key, decent looks. She'd be sexy without the confidence, it's just the confidence makes her sexy-ER. But if it's an ugly girl, she comes across as delusional and desperate.

[rotarymoon]

To usagichan,

Another part of relationships that I will assert is that compatibility is based on looks & personality among other things. If you are playing in your own league then looks shouldn't be a controversy to begin with. And not many people can be considered down right ugly. It's usually a question about diet, fitness, proper hygiene and make-up for girls.

[doubleoh]

yeah I think kim kardashian is butt f***ing ugly.

[smbcomix]

Well, it's hard to say. There are some people who believe they're attractive, and some who don't. However, I also want to dispel the myth that attractiveness is influenced by confidence. Trust me, it's not. I have very little confidence (not gonna say none because that's not true) and my female friends have often told me what a good-looking guy I am. I just can't see it, probably because I'm straight. On the other hand, there are off days when I do believe it, at least enough to crack jokes about it.

And you're right. Guys don't choose to hang out with girls just on their good looks alone; not the good ones anyway. So take heart in that. You most likely are a very attractive person; you just have yet to meet the guy that will undoubtedly prove it to you. Someone will eventually. :) Good luck!

[jtopstop]

seems to me that you just don't have self-confidence. it doesn't matter if people think you are but ugly or f***ing gorgeous..if you have the confidence that you think you are all that, people are going to see it and believe it too. you should not rely on peoples perspective on whether you are pretty or not because their opinion doesn't matter. Even if you are the hottest chick in the world, there are always going to be people in the world who think you are ugly. People have different opinions of who is pretty or who is not.

[Anonymous]

i've never had a boyfriend either and I'm 20 years old and I guess I'm pretty. but in my case I've never had one cause I choose too, so I know that I'm really hot cause lots of guys have told me and lots of girls too actually ... but as long as you consider yourself pretty and feel confident people will start to find you charming anyway! and don't worry about your sister, my brother makes fun of me all the time saying I'm fat, whereas I can assure you I'm perfectly fit , dontlet people get you down

[Asker]

Well, you're lucky you know whether you're pretty or not... That makes everything easier to deal with, social-wise

[Anonymous]

You've said "there are many attractive girls without many guy friends or a boyfriend", totally right, cause prettiness or attractiveness isn't enough to be approachable, guys will approach only if the girl is easy going and has self-confidence. So, here is the trick for that, consider yourself as pretty, no matter if you're or not, and act like that, they will come along. I did and won. The understanding of beauty is changing by time and depends on the guy, so we never know how exactly we are attractive, but people on street are always choosing me to ask an adress or something, so I understand that they feel comfortable to communucate with me. You don't need someone to tell you're pretty or not and you don't have to admit anything.

[evil_dentist]

I'm not going to answer your question except to say this -why does it matter?

People should stop wasting time focusing on the external and realize they have more to contribute to the world than t*ts and ass.

See also: Kate Makkai "Pretty" on youtube. Watch it at least twice

[Asker]

It does matter though... To me it does

[Whistling_Dixie]

I don't think you can go with whatever your sister said. She is your sister and a high school kid.

In my observations:

1. Attractive looking women get stares at by random guys.

2. Random guys are kinder and are more willing to do favors (opening doors and such) for pretty women.

3. Pretty and ugly waiting table staffs cost the same, so restaurant managers prefer the pretty ones.

[Phoma21]

actually a lot of people who are really attractive to society really aren't that confident but there are those who know they look good and that's all based on self esteem. you get the feeling whether or not you are attractive based on what is considered generally attractive in the society you live in.

[liliana_denise_gosto]

Well my best friend it's like really drop dead gorgeous and she is really clueless about how pretty she is, she doesn't get a lot of attention because of her body language she doesn't seem approachable so I agree with what other people are saying about confidence and body language that really makes a difference

[ZenQueen]

I don't need assuerance from others, I know I'm pretty (don't mean to sound cocky there.lol) I don't have the typical features but I am unique and I love every part of me, I think that I walk with confidence and that attracts people to me.. I have had guys tell me I'm attractive (even girls have told me it.haha) but none of that means anything if I don't believe it for myself.

[Anonymous]

I didn't think I was attractive through most of high school and college, but I started lifting weights and dressing nicely when I went out. After awhile a lot of women were hitting on me at bars and a few women asked me out. But most lose interest when I say I'm not interested in sex before marriage. For a few weeks I used a photo rating site and a few of the female users (and some male) sent me explicit messages and I had a high rating. But I don't think I do really well with women because I am very quiet and unsociable and usually only go to the gym or volunteer after work.

Women didn't bother me until I started working out, and since I shaved my head it's dropped off a good bit because I lost the "Zac Efron" look.

[krisdaschwab912]

The hot ones know they are hot. They flaunt it every chance they get, and they mostly go into environments where there are likely to be hot guys. The pretty ones are either modest about it or don't know it. They are looking for the guy who will tell them they are pretty, and usually have a personality that differs from the mainstream.

These are my observations.

[Anonymous]

i truly don't know, I went through high school convinced I was the most hideously ugly thing that walked the earth, I look back at photos of me then and think "holey f*** I was gorgeous!"

...but that doesn't make me feel any more confident about my looks now, 5 years on,

[Asker]

Same boat... I was not too popular in middle or high school, but I seem to be getting some more attention from men these days...well, most of them older...

[tex151]

If your attractive you will know your attractive,because other people will be attracted to you. You will have more friends, more people will talk to you in class at work things like that.

[Asker]

people as in both women and men? not just men?

i have a lot girls that approach me, but men, not as much,

[tex151]

Ya it goes both ways, take me for ex I am attractive, and I know it do I flaunt it no, but at work people come up to me and ask me questions, I'm not the boss just a worker. Both men and women talk to me.

[Asker]

I guess it is logical to say that if you're attractive, you will "attract" many types of people...but from my experiences, I see that people are more willing to approach average looking or even frumpy looking people out in public for help or chit chat, I don't see a lot of women or men (usually they are men) that just approach really attractive girls randomly...it's usually just the average or maybe a bit above avg looking ones girls...

[Asker]

...which goes along with the whole theory that people are supposedly "intimidated" by genuinely pretty people doesn't really make sense either, because they are usually the popular ones at school or the ones with a lot of male friends...how do they get all those friends if people are initially "afraid" to approach them? or is the intimidation thing just bullsh*t answers everybody gives to one another so that they feel better about themselves...?

[Cypher17]

Even the ugliest person can be somewhat attractive as long as you have confidence , if you don't think your pretty, why should other people think so?

[Asker]

well you have a point here...

[Cypher17]

You just have to ignore what other people say because tell you the truth at the end of everyday the person that has to deal with you is you

[Asker]

well, the thing is it would be easier if other people told me more often what they thought of me, then I wouldn't be even having this problem...

[Cypher17]

No not true at all, you're still caring what people care about you which makes you vulnerable to their criticisms , good or bad. Just don't sweat the small stuff. If people did that we wouldn't have Albert Eisenstein , Amelia Earhart , Michael Jordan ,ect.

[FrancoBattiato]

I feel pretty, I feel witty, I feel pretty and witty and GAYYYY

[bleepbloop]

lmao

[Anonymous]

Pretty people don't always know their pretty. It takes a while to figure out-usually through a few compliments from random people and more people will smile at you on the street and be friendly with you for some reason.

[Asker]

no, it doesn't seem to me that it's always the case because I see average looking or even below average looking people on the streets that are being randomly approached...(maybe it's where I live though, which is the NYC area), it's usually that it seems like people are more hesitant to make eye contact or approach people who are considered above average looking...

[Asker]

i mean I have personal experiences myself...I recently gained about 10 lbs (eeks), and it seems like people find me more approachable and random strangers chat me up more and I get asked for directions often...when I weight 10 lbs less, it seemed like I didn't get many cold approaches in the street by men or women...just more men having interest in me and flirting with me in public...

[Opinion Owner]

Oh that could be a point.. Maybe I thought that because I'm apparently considered cute more than pretty, and I'm still humble about it, like if someone compliments me I just turn all red. Back to the question though, if people approach you, even just with a question, that is a good sign. You must seem friendly and I highly doubt you to be unattractive. Maybe you were intimidating before. The only advice I could say is, no matter how you look, if you are friendly and humble, you will win over

[Opinion Owner]

Anybody you need to. I have seen people ignore ugly people at school in the hallway, which I think is rude but maybe it's just a human reaction. If people are talking to you out of their own will, you're probably at least average, maybe better.

[HidingMyHeart]

If you don't even love yourself as a person then how in the world do you expect another individual to fall in love with you?

[Nephastie]

I get told quite a lot that I am a very pretty woman, but since I see my own face all the flippin time, lol, it just seems really regular to me. I just think I am average. And I am alright with that.

[gecko235]

I know I'm a good looking guy but I lack confidence a lot of the time and that's the biggest thing women find attractive.

[Asker]

No, sometimes confident guys come off as douches... I think a lot of girls dig low key guys

[gecko235]

Theres a difference between having confidence and being cocky

[ilovemyjose101]

I agree. cocky is a huge turn off.

[Anonymous]

yes most do. I do think I have a pretty face and some guys seem to find my body pretty but I don't think it is...i am a bit chubby and under clothes you can't see it...

[Asker]

Yeah, I need to lose those last 10 lbs by the end of summer...

[Opinion Owner]

me too more like 15lbs actually

[imnotsorry]

I'll tell you what's super annoying, people who know how good they look and pretend other wise.

[Asker]

well, maybe they really don't know how good they really look... most people with body dismorphic disorder usually tend to be attractive people, FYI...

[imnotsorry]

Yeah but I'm not talking about those people, I'm talking about those girls who fish for compliments.

[Asker]

well, yeah that is a bit annoying...like if the girl was really gorgeous and had really hot guys bombarding her with attention, but she still calls herself ugly...I would feel like giving her a slap across the face...