Okay we met up a few times, We had sex there about 4 days ago, She claims she was a virgin [The way she acted looked like it also] I texted her there 2 days ago and she answered me straight away but after a few minutes we ran out of things to say as she's foreign and its easier to talk to her face. She said to me that morning that: ⦿She really likes me ⦿ She's happy she met me...
And all that crap but why isn't she talking to me on Instagram and why is she not saying about meeting up again? Like what? IF you like a guy, you try your best to contact him, and makes plans right? ANY ADVICE would be great thank you.
Updates
+1 y
Also, As soon as I update my Instagram Story, She looks at it straight away, I dont know if thats a good thing or anything at all.
What is she playing at, What do you think I Should do?
God, more social media interpretation crap. (I do not mean this about you - I swear I don't. I just mean what the hell has the world come to, when communication is all about disgusting public feedback, and that is the currency of the day. Ugh.)
Maybe...
Take her words as the most key part of all of this (I guess.) Put the behaviour in position two. She said she really likes you, and she's glad she met you.
She's addicted to the internet and social media. Just like so many, she spends hours and hours on it, scoping people out, idolizing their lives, yada yada. So when she sees the notification that your Story pops up either 1. She was on Instagram already and she might as well click on it to check you out, or 2. She was not on Instagram but saw the notification on her phone (she was elsewhere on the internet) and went to see you. Either way, she's interested enough to look.
She's like soooo many young girls, who think that "the guy does the chasing" and so even if she likes you, it's up to you to prove to her that you want her. Even though she liked the sex, and you! (Witness all the girls here saying "Text her again.") It doesn't mean you have to. It just means she's probably expecting/waiting for you to. (Maybe.) Who the fuck knows though.
We were talking for a bit and then she said "Sorry for not texting you the last few days" and I said "that's okay why are you sorry" and she said "she doesn't know" - WTF?
You are both newbs at this. Try not to overcomplicate it so much. The reality is that for most girls, even if they do like a guy, other than a few Likes and “hey”’ here and there, you guys are going to have to do most of the work. Is it right, especially in this day and age of [of whatever we’re in right now - some would say #metoo feminism, yada yada.] YOU are expected (by them, even the girl who likes you) to put your heart on the line. Basically, they’re too emotionally chicken to do it.
Add to that, the fact that some people really do judge girls for sleeping with guys. They have “Slut!” always in the back of their mind, and girls worry about societal judgement A LOT. So they/she is likely thinking, “Omg, I slept with him. Was I good enough? Does he like me?” You as the guy have to prove that you didn’t just want her for sex. It’s a test. And even as this stuff takes some subtlety and a deft hand, at your level of experience, and hers, you guys practically have to be clubbed over the head to fully know for certain exactly what each other means, and wants.
But you’re not doing so well here either. Look - it’s not considered very good social media form to message the exact same response to multiple commenters. You’re treating us all the same. Which of the commenters said something that was genuinely helpful, or seems to know more/something? You’re being generic, for one, and not singling out. Neither of those strategies will work, long term, with girls.
And, you’re bitter that she isn’t reaching out to you. But you guys did chat. You just don’t know how to communicate (either of you) well. You both need not to give one word answers. Learn to expand on all topics. If you’re getting one word from girls, change your question.
And you can’t really get mad at her for viewing your Insta Story. You posted a Story. So you’re both the same. Looking for Likes and publicly ‘stalking’ each other, but too chicken to do more on a personal level.
Play some music that gets you pumped, and stop pussyfooting around and bite the bullet. The worst thing in the world is not “What if I ask her out and she says no, and tells her friends.” That’s Dating 101, man. If you wait for her to do it, you’ll be waiting til the cows come home. Is it fair/nice/right? Nope. But the longer it takes you to accept this (with girls, not women), the longer you’ll be alone.
Once you get more experience, yourself, and have some knowledge and confidence, then you can start dating older, maybe. Women, not girls, don’t pussyfoot around as much either. Guys need to be proactive, right from the get-go, confident or not. But these dynamics, communication, interpersonal relations, all that, are things that people learn over time, and gain confidence in eventually (usually/often.) You must go into the fire. There’s no way to avoid being burned sometimes. But before you know it, you’ll become a fire walker.
Thanks AmandaYVR, I have to say you give great advice... I just feel she's not interested but that could be me being paranoid due to the lack of communication from her side
Thanks. 💐 I don't think you have to think she's not interested. There's endless depictions of stuff like this on here, right? But the difference here is that she did already sleep with you, she point blank said she likes you and is happy she met you, and she replies to your texts. So I think you've just got your run of the mill shy girl here. I know you don't want to get hurt either, but you're contending with her feelings of inadequacy and sexuality - two very big topics. She doesn't see it from your POV so much. My guess is if you advance towards her, she will reciprocate. She just doesn't know how to or what she's doing yet.
She likes you. If you want to see her again, ask. Social media is bollocks. Why is it so important that someone sees what you post, likes or comments on it? It’s not you is it. It’s a portrayal of a part of your life. Do you want her to date your IG account or you? 🧐
@midnightmoon05 We were talking for a bit and then she said "Sorry for not texting you the last few days" and I said "that's okay why are you sorry" and she said "she doesn't know" - WTF?
It is likely that the problems all relate to language. She is probably self-conscious about her language/accent and feels she can communicate better in person. Arrange another face-to-face meeting.
We were talking for a bit and then she said "Sorry for not texting you the last few days" and I said "that's okay why are you sorry" and she said "she doesn't know" - WTF?
You're the man why aren't you contacting her? I dont get why men these days are so feminine. You guys want women to chase you around. Be a man and ask her.
We were talking for a bit and then she said "Sorry for not texting you the last few days" and I said "that's okay why are you sorry" and she said "she doesn't know" - WTF?
I texted her first saying hey how are you etc and we talked for a bit and in the middle she said "Sorry for not texting you the last few days" and then I said "that's okay why are you sorry" and she said "she doesn't know"
We were talking for a bit and then she said "Sorry for not texting you the last few days" and I said "that's okay why are you sorry" and she said "she doesn't know" - WTF?
We were talking for a bit and then she said "Sorry for not texting you the last few days" and I said "that's okay why are you sorry" and she said "she doesn't know" - WTF?
You behave like a woman and play the role she should be actually playing. Stop texting, put down the phone and do something more productive. If she really likes you she is the one who will do all the chasing. When a girl likes you she makes everything easy for you. With that out of the way, keep in mind that she has a vagina in the 21st century and that alone gives her the ultimate social status in today's gynocentric society. She might be getting messages from another 100 guys. Why would she reply to you? She might even say that she loves you. I bet whatever you want she says that to another 20 guys she's messaging. One man is not enough for a woman today. Why would she keep just one when she can have the attention of an army of white knights on instagram? "I really like you Im happy I met you. You make so happy" blah blah blah blah. The usual female bullshit. Then you ask to meet up and she's all flaky and comes up with all sorts of excuses. "Im busy". Yeah Im sure you are. I can see how busy you are. You have to upload the next cute selfie for your thousands of orbiters on instagram masturbating to your cute face. You're so busy.
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