Why does my ex not want to talk to me?

[Anonymous]

I dated my ex for almost 3 years and it wasn’t the best relationship but wasn’t bad either.
it was a bit of a distance between us, a little over an hour and because of our busy schedules we only got together a couple days a month. But we had fun on those days and we agreed on everything we should to be compatible.
Then one week she starts being distant and even snapped at me when we were hanging out because i sat to close to her on a sofa at her place. I asked her what’s going on and she ended it right there saying the usual BS.
I need time to get my life together, I’m so stressed with work I just want my free time,
I don’t know what I want in a relationship anymore.
I told her if the distance was a problem that I would be willing to move in the next year or 2 and that she was making a mistake.
She said to just let her get her life in order and that it’s gonna be a while.

I asked if I could kiss her good bye to which she agreed and then i left. No begging or pleading just told her I disagree and that we could address what’s wrong.

After a few days went by I texted and asked if we could be friends and she agreed but did not want to be FB friends. I’ve texted her a couple times in the last month and she has replied quickly most of the time but I can tell she does not want to talk to me.
my question is why? I know there is no one else in the picture I can’t disclose how I know that but I am certain. I didn’t do anything wrong in the relationship and she didn’t get mad or anything So why doesn’t she want to talk some here and there I’m not asking to see her or talk every day so why does she end the conversation quickly and why doesn’t she ever reach out?

[WolfKvlt]

Her interest level is declining possibly due to the distance, but moreso over the way you're acting towards her. She wants you to be stoic when faced with stressful matters, including her decision to not be with you. She's also lost a lot of respect for you as well when you started acting feminine by asking for a kiss goodbye and that if you can still be friends. You enabled her and let her know that she can mistreat you however she wants and you'll still be there. Pick up your dignity (along with your bawlz) and focus on yourself. She will gravitate back towards you, then you can make your decision whether you're gonna let her cuck you (because it's bound to happen due to your own behavior), or kick her to the curb and find a new one.
Hope this helps!

[Babewithplan]

Well you absolutely don’t know what you’re talking about. Him asking for a kiss isn’t feminine behaviour tf. They’re really incompatible as people and that’s it and I assure you it’s not because he asked for a kiss goodbye 😂😂😂😂

[WolfKvlt]

My MHO percentage says otherwise.

[Babewithplan]

@WolfKvlt You don’t know anything about women. 😂

[Babewithplan]

Hence why you’re single ;P

[WolfKvlt]

@Babewithplan
I know enough, which is exactly why I'm single.

[Babewithplan]

@WolfKvlt Well clearly somethings not right with you that you’re single x

[Asker]

@Babewithplan we have talked some since this post and she is no longer ignoring me but will not initiate any contact with me.
I think she was mad at me because I went on a date with another woman because she only replied after I told her it wasn’t going to go anywhere and that I wouldn’t see the other girl again. So I don’t know how to proceed I do not want to be the one texting first all the time and I haven’t tried every day.

[Babewithplan]

Well clearly she’s the type that wants to be chased. So really put some PROPER effort into her, (no more few days a months sorta thing from now onwards) or find someone else then.

[Asker]

@Babewithplan I haven’t talked about getting back together with her she said she needs space and time but I don’t know if that’s just a put off to be nice or not. I’m afraid to chase her because all I ever see is “don’t chase or she will run” and that makes sense.

[Babewithplan]

It sounds as though she’s waiting for some proper effort and wants to see how much you like her. The not chasing is not smart because she will find someone else, or someone else will find her and chase her and make her feel wanted and then you will have absolutely no chance then.

The chasing is a person to person thing and it depends on the girl, but because you haven’t done ANY chasing, you shouldn’t really be scared to now DO the chasing, because it’ll bring a different energy and you can be together properly

My boyfriend really chased me until I gave in and we were together. At the start he would send me texts every two days and “check in”. That was smart because it had me thinking about that man regularly. It wasn’t smothering me because it wasn’t everyday and it didn’t look “desperate”. It showed that he cared enough and was consistent. SO IMPORTANT. Try it and you’ll be surprised.

[Asker]

@Babewithplan I have checked in every few days and she has replied but not always very warmly but I will keep trying thank you for your insight.

[Asker]

@Babewithplan also I’m curious during the time that he checked in with you every couple of days did you ever initiate contact at all or just it be all on him to do that?

[Babewithplan]

I was absolutely on the receiving end. I didn’t text him and let him do it. It made it clear that he’s thinking about me and I liked that. I still didn’t initiate contact until we were in a committed partnership then I did text sometimes.

[Asker]

@Babewithplan thanks I asked her if we could meet up in a few weeks and she was open to it but had to check her schedule so your advice seems to be working.
Thank you very much.

[Babewithplan]

I’m so glad. Please don’t listen to the people who say that women love getting treated like shit, because we really do not. Now you should show consistency and don’t give up.

[Asker]

@Babewithplan I’ve never been able to believe that but it’s kinda hard not to consider it because I did treat her like a queen, she told our mutual friend how nice I was to her. Always taking her out to dinner where ever she wanted and always paid for all our activities, zoo, arcade, movies, etc. if she mentioned she wanted something at the mall I would either get it for her right then or on her birthday or Christmas or as soon as I could afford it. I just don’t get why she wanted to break up with me I didn’t ask anything from her but her company.

[Babewithplan]

I think that’s the issue. Your company wasn’t enough because it sounds as though she wanted more attention than a few days a months or what you said in your original post. Her actions say that she likes you or else she’s not respond. So clearly that gentleman way is what she remembers and why she’s still talking and willing to fix it then.

[Babewithplan]

Month*

[Babewithplan]

She’d*

[Asker]

@Babewithplan yeah maybe but her schedule is so busy and she just doesn’t have time. I wanted to see her more but she didn’t always accept my invites which had me thinking her interest level was low. She is very hard to read.

[Babewithplan]

You haven’t really been a steady person in terms of your presence in that girl’s life, so she clearly wasn’t putting her eggs in your basket. But don’t worry, let the past be what it was and start with new clean energy.

[Asker]

@Babewithplan thank you, you’ve given the best advice of anyone on here. I’ve told her I’m not going anywhere and that I’ll check in every now and then and she said that’s ok so I’m hoping she’ll realize she should t let me go. Thanks again

[Babewithplan]

That’s really good because she now has reassurance that you will make the effort and now you gotta back it up with your actions and you’ll be good. Good luck

[Babewithplan]

And she might test you, but don’t let it bother you and continue to show that you are serious about it

[Asker]

@Babewithplan thank you again

[Babewithplan]

No worries!!

[WolfKvlt]

Don't be a simp, Asker. This person is giving you horrible advice.

[Babewithplan]

@WolfKvlt I’m a woman and I know what women want. AND he’s getting good responses from her. Don’t be jealous sweetie it’s not called for.

[Babewithplan]

@WolfKvlt So don’t bother

[WolfKvlt]

@Babewithplan
There's nothing for me to be jealous about. You clearly don't understand how SMV works or Alpha Male tendencies. Best of luck, you'll need it.

[Babewithplan]

@WolfKvlt LMAOOOOO alpha shit what now?

I’m a woman saying this is what women will respond to and you’re saying I don’t know what I’m talking about? 😂

Your shit tendencies will only attract other gays if that’s the sort of thing you’re into, then all power to you sweetie x

[WolfKvlt]

@Babewithplan
I don't consider you a woman, but rather an immature female who doesn't understand the basic dynamics between a healthy relationship. Do you realize that by trying to insult me is only a reflection of your maturity level? Your responses are borderline harassment at this point.
You don't ask a fish how to catch other fish, you ask a fisherman. So swim along now little fishy, because the fishermen only see you as a catch-and-release.
Any further responses will be ignored.

[Babewithplan]

@WolfKvlt I only really read the first line. Well I consider you trash and clearly you’re an incel and/or retarded 😂

[Anonymous]

Seems like she’s looking for a lot more of a “proper” partnership and she didn’t really get that from you. Let her find what she’s looking for, OR man up and let your actions show her that you’re ready for more than a few days in a month.

[Asker]

It was mostly me that put the effort in I went to her 90% of the time and always initiated hanging out. She would sometimes cancel on me for stupid reasons. I just matched her effort to be quite honest.

[Opinion Owner]

That’s sort of the dynamic I was enduring with my ex. He was putting in the effort, but it still wasn’t enough and so I slowly distanced myself and then ended things. In his mind he’s probably thinking he was doing it well, but no. Because our partnership went on for 2 years (a few days every couple of weeks), I still replied to his texts with no desire to want to talk, but then soon after I was ready to stop replying and now I’m ghosting his ass.

[Asker]

Why don’t you want to at least stay friends that seems kind of cold to treat him that way unless he did something really wrong like cheat.

[Opinion Owner]

Because why? I don’t see the point in being friends with an ex. The lines will always be blurred, it’s so weird as fuck and you’ll have to censor yourself constantly and it’s energy wasted when you can have someone else as a friend. Cause you should note that she doesn’t see you as friend materiel or you absolutely would’ve had proper talks about it about your issues, but you don’t, cause you seem so incompatible.