Why is my ex upset that I don't want to talk or be friends?

My ex ended our relationship two months ago and got a new boyfriend two weeks later. We didn't speak for a month or so and once we became friends I had to find out she had this boyfriend. While she ans I were together she would always talk to this guy and at times I got jealous. When I found out she chose this guy over me I was crushed and being friends was too hard to do as it really hurts to see how easily replaced I was. After ignoring my ex for a while she broke the silence and talked to me about a movie I told her I saw weeks ago. She said she really liked the film too and tried to make normal conversation. The next day she tweeted that you can't save someone once they're gone, and how upset she was that we weren't talking or having a friendship. Can someone explain this to me? I don't feel there's anything there with her since she more or less broke my heart, and I think by now she should have figured that out. It feels like she's just being selfish.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Eventually, you will get past it. You will feel completely normal talking to her, because you will have moved on. The thing is some people move on fast, especially if their heart hasn't been broken. If you had broken up with someone, you would kind of hope that they wouldn't be mad at you. Right? You'd want to still be friends. If you've dated someone it's not like you had nothing in common, there has to be a potential for friendship. By no means am I saying she's right, but I am saying that you can't blame her for wanting to be friends. She still cares, just not the same way you do.

    • Thanks, I just don't know where to take this. she tells me she still has feelings and at the same time doesn't show it. she was bitter that I chose to stay away for a month and then once we started off as friends she noticed how much I had changed physically(I got more muscular) but then made fun of me etc. I don't understand why she's so mean to me. her new boyfriend is fat and nerdy. I feel like somehow she just wanted to replace me fast. we're both nice guys.

    • I think it's her way of coping. She doesn't know how or where to set the boundaries, so she tries to make fun of you to reassure herself. Just take it as a compliment and move on. =)

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What Girls Said 1

  • I believe she might still feel guilty about breaking up with you. She still likes you but not as much and then having another boyfriend so soon adds up to her guilt. She might be acting a little selfish right now, like wanting you to be okay that she is happy with another guy. But you have every right to be selfish yourself. If you are not OK with it, let her know. You deserve to be happy and to be with someone who cares for you.

    • Thank you so much. I think non-contact may just get the idea across that I'm hurt, or maybe just get some bells ringing in her head.

What Guys Said 1

  • Chances are she enjoyed your friendship. Just because she isn't attracted to you anymore doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy spending time with you (on the friend level).

    You liked her personality as well, right? If two people just aren't right for each other, but still like to be around each other, I see no issue with being friends.

    If you don't want to be her friend because you are still hurt, you didn't care about your friendship with her that much, or whatever reason, then just tell her and don't be friends.


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