I've lived in Europe and the United States and most of my friends are from different places around the world (South America, Australia, Asia, etc) The last time I returned to the USA I realized I can't find any attractive men. It seems that compared to Europe, South America and most of the world, American men just don't care about their appearance the same way. And call a girl high maintenance if she is as well groomed as the women from Europe or South America. Anyone want to take a guess why this is? I just don't understand why they just don't care. American men's style
Why don't American men care about their appearance like the rest of the world?
It depends on what constitutes good appearance. American men are conditioned to believe that following fashion trends and investing a lot of work into one's own appearance are feminine qualities. For a man to admit he follows fashion would be to invite teasing from his friends and accusations of being gay. Also, the American ideal for beauty on both men and women isn't about thin-thin-thin as with Europeans. It's considered more attractive generally to have some size to you, whether it comes from fat or muscle. The American ideal for beauty typically falls into the "overweight" category of the BMI scale for men, but not obese. Muscle is preferred I think, but many American women say they prefer a guy with some softness to him. Seth Rogen, for instance.
I personally have different reasons. I have a strong dislike for anything that has purely aesthetic, and not functional, value. I would never get piercings or tattoos or own jewelry. Nor would I hang pictures or posters or anything that was purely decorative in my room, or have a garden or decorative plans at my house. I simply don't believe in such things.
I think American men do care about appearance, and as you said, many things constitute good appearance. You may be a punk, preppy guy, really athletic, business man- each are going to have their own idea of what looking good and taking care of themselves entails.
I do think a emphasis on dressing well is starting to happen more.
It really depends though on what constitutes "dressing well." We have a less unified idea of what that means here than other cultures do. And as I said, "high fashion", or euro-style, here, brings out the homophobes.
Europe's culture of fashion grew out of their long history of ruling monarchies/empires/aristocracies who became the trend setters and the "ideal" society aspired too. In the 1880s the dissemination of the bourgeois style into the middle-classes saw a new breed of men (i.e the Parisian "dandy's") who put a greater emphasis on their looks. America on the otherhand - the new world - embodied the rough 'n' ready concept of the man living off of the land building your own homestead - a constant quest for self-improvement. Of course the East tried to mimic the Europeanized way of life, but the "real" Americans were much tougher, and less bothered by fashion.
In the end I guess America has always slightly lacked the sophistication of European nations, but rather possess the highly masculine idea of working for your class, instead of being born into it. I say it's a good thing that they aren't so fussed about fashion. The Eurocentric idea of fashion is shallow and rooted in class and heritage.
Well I am married to a guy who sort of is like what you said, the guy didn't really care about his appearance. I'm sure if you see a guy who doesn't care too much about his appearance, maybe you can help him see it. My guy when I met him wore huge clown shoes, clothes that look like a 12 year old should wear them, and really bad teeth that was yellow and he smoked a lot. I got him to wear better shoes, to stop smoking, brush his teeth and wear better clothes. And he stopped wearing jeans that look like they have been found in the trash because they have 5 gigantic holes in them, and he's 25 and a professional. Why is he wearing stuff like that? Well I think it may be mostly to the fact that yeah, they never had a girl tell them to shape up. I told him to and he did it for me. Who knows, maybe there are other factors but the bottom line I'm getting to here is that if you really find an American man that you like maybe you can help him to shape up. Good luck
It isn't JUST American men, it's also American women.
People here in America try so hard to be politically correct. We refer to fat women as "curvy" when in reality bein curvy is having a particular body shape, not weight. Women here worship women with bodies like Christina Hendricks a opposed to Sofia Vergara, Emma Stone, Hayden Panettiere or even Beyonce. Try have this unhealthy mentality that people who are thin and/or average starve themselves to do so.
An men here aren't any better. They think we(women) don't care about appearance. I don't like fat or chubby guys so I would not date a fat/chubby guy since being fat/chubby means 1)they(men and women) don't care about their appearance and 2) they(men and women) don't care about their health
I've never been outside of America, so I don't know exactly what the styles are for men in other countries. I have to wonder if different cultures like different styles. For example, indie or hipster guys are popular in America (at least among college girls in New England). Do those guys exist overseas? Are they considered hot?
This is pretty odd, because I actually prefer guys that are more casual. I'm in Australia and a good 80% of the guys in my age group dress super metrosexual. I really don't find it appealing at all. I like a guy who won't take longer than I do to get ready or sit in front of a mirror rearranging his hair. Deny it all you want, but the guys that "care about their appearance" usually are doing so to compensate for some other insecurity. I don't think a casual appearance signifies low confidence. On the contrary, I think it shows they are sure of themselves and have more important things to care about.
it just has to do with up bringing and the environment we are surrounded with. I thnk I care about my appearance more then most guys here but like you said, less than in europe. I don't spend hours getting ready, but I shower every morning, get haircuts twice a month, roughly match my clothes and stuff like that but nothing I really stress over. also, I think the PEOPLE are just more attractive in europe and s. america, not just the men. but I'm from socal and the chicks are absolutely amazing haha
They do trust me, some guys panic about how they look and what they wear just as bad as girls. Its just in western culture a guy can't flaunt the fact that he cares about style or checks himself in the mirror or people will call him gay, metro-sexual, arrogant or feminine. I also think the standard of living (access to fast foods) also may play a factor in the attractiveness your talking about since the average american is overweight or obese.
On a side note: you also have to consider what is marketed and advertised to men. You don't really see such products that are specifically targeted to them, where as, you turn on the TV or go for a drive and you are bombarded by skin moisturizers, make-up, clothing lines, beauty tips and other such things directed to the use of women.
I’m American and even where I live in a big city it’s common to guys going around in sweats and slides. I wouldn’t want someone who cares a lot about fashion and follows all the latest styles, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want a guy who doesn’t leave the house in what are basically pajamas. He just has to have something simple and classic, like slacks and button up shirt. Nothing fancy.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
american men are under the delusion that women don't care about looks and that its not Manly to care about their appearance. TV shows like king of queens, the flintstones, the simpsons, etc. all show a trim and somewhat attractive woman married to a fat slob so some men may subliminally believe that only women's looks matter.
I agree with that part about the idea of caring how you look isn't manly in how some think. It usually is not the norm but I know a few people who are like that whereby they think caring how you look isn't something a man should be worrying about. I do it more for health concern and I like to be active
Women should send the message and start with the No Slobs t-shirts and whatnot. Guys think it's okay to judge the hell out of women and set all these ridiculous standards so women really need to learn to be more choosy themselves.
I disagree. Where have you been looking? America like anywhere else has a vast spectrum of people with their own tastes. We're laid back, it doesn't mean we're all sloppy. Dress too nicely and you get called peppy or even douchy. It's like navigating the fine line between being too put together and looking like a mess.
Well on my brief 2 month European excursion this is not something I noticed. What particular country are you referring to? And are you referring to men who reside in urban areas or in rural areas? Really, check yourself before posting a gross generalization that only serves to prove your ignorance
Maybe because they feel more comfortable as they are. It's not like I don't do anything, but that's more for me than to look attractive for someone else. If I tell a woman that I think she's beautiful and she follows up being getting a brand new haircut, putting on loads of makeup, and wearing a revealing dress to get my attention. Like I told you you're beautiful so why all the extra effort?
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
if a guy takes way too much care of himself he is considered gay and if he doesn't he if he doesn't he is a classless douche , how is that fair, + I've bean to europe 90% of men are gay, and I'm wondering why the demographic numbers are shooting down and the immigrants mostly Arabs/Turks/African are taking charge...
when someone doesn't care about their appearance they usually have low self confidence. I think that is a problem for most americans, I'll probally get a lot of crap for that.lol
also I think women (and men?) are afraid of looking too good (around all the uglies) It was 90 degrees yesturday and I was going to wear shorts to walk my dog, but choose not to because I didn't want to be looked at as a slut and get guys yelling at me from their cars. We have a real issue with showing skin.. its sad!
I just think we are just overly casual in America... Like all my friends who are male just wear jeans and a t-shirt.. we aren't overly conscious about stuff like that.
Agreed OP, always wondered why American guys dress so casually. It's disappointing. But these guys comments are showing not only indifference but lack of maturity and arrogance (which I highly doubt is backed up by any substance or looks.)
No problem. That's the only way you could have posted it at this point.
Khaki pants and a nice buttoned up shirt? That's what the average European guy wears during standard occasions? I see American guys dress like that when they go to certain clubs looking for women. Have to look nice and casual, but not too casual.
Jeans and a t-shirt is the norm casual option for guys and girls. People generally like to fit in, so if most people at a location are wearing a certain thing, the others will too
I'm not sure of the reason, but I must agree that for the most part, people in Europe (men and woman) are far more attractive than Americans. Everyone is so much thinner, too.
You are correct they are ore fit in Europe they seem to exercise more and also many fashion designers are European so the good clothes are there in Europe
This is an American discussion, I'll just stay out of it.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I think that it depends where you are in America and you can definitely find attractive guys in the US. But I'd have to agree that there are more guys who are attractive in Europe.
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