How do I accept the fact that I'm ugly?

Question

Because even though I'm 24 year old guy who has never even been kissed by 1 girl my whole life, I still feel I'm a decent looking guy whenever I see myself in the mirror. Yet when I go out being confident about myself, I always end up being disappointed after being hinted by girls that I am really ugly. I'm really sick of being upset and having that disappointed feeling so how do I accept the fact that I'm ugly? Because even though I'm admitting to it now, the next day I'll go out I'll be back to feeling that I'm not a bad looking guy who has a chance with most girls I'm attracted to. The fact that I'm athletically fit, wear nice clothes, do my hair right, and smell good when I go out gives me false hope that I'll have girls liking me and overlooking the fact that I'm ugly as hell and have been rejected 100% of the time in life by girls in the past. I mean I haven't met 1 girl that was attracted to me so I need to accept what I am. But I don't know how.

Having confidence is basically a false hope in my situation. Girl's standards in guys are way too high for me to even reach there.

springdragonfly · Accepted Answer

this is so hard to judge based on text.

are you sure the dressing/fitness/etc is there? is there a friend you could ask not "am I ugly?" but "can you give me some pointers on what to improve?" normally smart dressing, fitness and changeable aspects can do a lot to improve your physical attractiveness.

the other things I wonder about on reading this are what is your personality like? how clear ar you being when they are "shutting you down", what are your standards for women?

as for personality... what do you talk to these girls about? is it something you really think they are interested in? what is your sense of humour like? how well do you flirt? honestly, I cannot say this enough but personality really, really,really makes a huge difference. I haven't been with very many guys - 4 (I am older than you!) and if I compare and think about which one I found turned me on and got my attention the most it really had more to do with his attitude and his aspirations than appearance.

sense of humour and ability to flirt well also count for a lot. the ability to make a girl feel relaxed, comfortable and sexy help. how you feel about yourself shows in your attitude and can affect this. over confident can be obnoxious while underconfident and awkward can also affect how relaxed and comfortable she feels.

lastly, are you sure you are being evident and timely in trying to get the attention of these girls? seriously, people are so dense sometimes. what is obvious to you is not necessarily obvious to her. at the same time it needs to stay light and not feel like you are pressuring her. also, I don't know what girls you are going after but seriously, if you are chasing after the 10/10 when you would give yourself a 6/10 maybe that is the problem. I don't want to say it is always the case, it isn't, but I would say the majority of couples are fairly close in terms of their physical attractiveness...

lastly... I just noticed something... you said you get shut down when you approach girls when you go out. honestly, I go out to have fun with friends, chat, dance. I would never consider someone I met at a bar or club. I wouldn't feel comfortable. might have nothing to do with you and only location

Skyler123 · Accepted Answer

First you need to re-evaluate what it is exactly you're doing that would turn women off from you.  Also ask some of your female friends if there are things that they maybe notice about you that would possibly turn women off from dating you. You can't be as bad looking as these women are putting you off to be if you your self think you're attractive. Second fix those problems, try really getting to know  a lady. Don't be so eager to simply "date" start out as friends first and work your way up to becoming something more.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

no one is ugly and yes that is the truth not a fake answer to make you feel better

steve1122 · Accepted Answer

You have the opposite problem from me, and I don't know who is better or worse off. I get lots of feedback from women that they think I am very good looking- but it doesn't mean they are interested in dating me. I have the looks that you lack, you have the confidence that I lack. Everything I hear is that women find confidence the single most attractive quality in a man, so I would say that you are not in such a bad position. Looks count for very little if you don't have the confidence.

It may be that you are being too picky in your choices. I have dated some women that were not absolutely gorgeous, but you know what? As you get to know them and get to like them, they start looking better and better over time, until you suddenly find yourself thinking of them as beautiful. It's kind of weird, but true.

All's not lost for me either :) I am working on my confidence and having some success now. Good luck!

SunSeeker · Accepted Answer

Well the fact that you don't see yourself as ugly, is confidence, so just go with it because girls dig that. Now I'm not saying you're ugly but even if you are, I've seen plenty of odd looking guys with stunning women, so you still definitely have a chance. In fact, I see this happen so much I'm starting to think hot chicks dig ugly dudes, I don't know. Anyway, just keep your head up and the answer to your question is that you don't accept it.

Animal_Girl · Answer

How do girls "hint" that you're ugly? It sounds like you're doing a lot of assuming here. Maybe try meeting girls in different places, so you can find different girls. Maybe try online dating. No need to give up on the world just yet.

Also, saying you're lowering your standard by daring to ask out "a couple of fat chicks"? Super offensive, arrogant, and a really sh*tty way to look at things. Maybe it's your attitude that needs a makeover.

oOsweet~o~nessOo · Answer

Sorry about how your feeling; the best I can offer is that your still really young and probably have countless girls you will encounter, one of which will find you attractive.

I'm kinda in the same boat, though I wouldn't call myself ugly yet;

I know waiting sucks, but she will come in time :)

Missy706 · Answer

No one is ugly that's why we are all made different. Think about it.. What would the world be like if everyone look the same? Boring! Everyone is beautiful and has there own unique qualities. Beauty comes from inside, not out. So look further in that mirror and be yourself and love who you are.

Tentacle_Therapist · Answer

Have you ever spoken to a user on here called Braided_Nylon? I think you should message him and have a chat. He's a really upbeat guy who'll make you forget about all these depressing body-image issues you're having!

Voltaire · Answer

Either lower your standards, or get rich enough as to where it doesn't matter anymore. Simple.

smexiliciousss · Answer

Calm down, confidence is the sexiest. There's a guy/girl out there for everyone!

Anonymous · Answer

Just stop trying to look good and let your uglyness take over. Do you have pics?

Anonymous · Answer

it could possibly be that your confidence is taken as arrogance - which is super unattractive! aswell, saying you lowered your standards by asking fat chicks make you sound like a d!ck.

MzNatalie · Answer

Someone sounds like they need a therapist.

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