How do I approach this cute guy? I'm a bit awkward?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys,

So last week I went to a restaurant with a friend. I noticed one of the waiters who worked there was constantly looking and smiling at me. Me being the shy and reserved person that I am, especially around cute men, I regrettably avoided eye contact at all costs. I don't know why I'm like this, because he was totally my type!! He was a cutie. And I really wish I would have reciprocated the interest he was showing in me. What if he thinks I'm stuck up? Ugh...

I think part of the reason I didn't feel comfortable smiling back at him was because I've gained a bit of weight since a back injury in the last month and I'm kind of self conscious about my physical appearance. :(

Anyway, it's just so rare for me to feel attracted to someone but I've been thinking about him nonstop for the past week. I want to go back to the restaurant and get to know him. Although I don't know if he'd approach me because he's in a work environment. Is it even appropriate for me to go back there? Lol. Do I sound desperate 😭

What can I do to get to know him? My social anxiety around men that I'm attracted to is leading me to a very lonely existence. I need to overcome this problem because I'm losing out on potential happiness. Quite a lot of guys show interest in me but because of past low self esteem and social anxiety I hide away as much as possible. I don't wanna do that anymore though.

[coolcactus]

Give him a compliment, something obvious that you first liked about him. You gotta act super friendly enough for him to notice your attraction but not creep him out.

[Asker]

How do I act friendly without being creepy? He was tall. Should I tell him I like his height bc he was quite tall? 😂

[coolcactus]

Guys don’t like it when you comment on their height, they perceive it as shallow. Maybe go for the eyes, hair, etc. Acting friendly as in talking as you normally would with a friend, guys want to be treated like a normal person if they’re being approached

[Asker]

Do you think he'd be interested in me again? From his perspective maybe I looked stuck up

[coolcactus]

Yeah, of course. there's not for him to go off from your first impression, it seems like he doesn’t know you as a person yet, you got a chance

[Anonymous]

Talk to him, try to get into his social circle. At the worst case scenario you will be friends so there's no reason to feel anxious.

[Avicenna]

Write your number on a piece of paper and gibe it to him.

[Iron_Man]

Go back to the restaurant to talk to him

[Asker]

How should I initiate conversation? Should I smile?

[Iron_Man]

Yes of course make sure he’s your waiter and say it’s good seeing you again. And just start a nice good
conversation

[Asker]

He wasn't my waiter. He did approach my table to give my friend her drink but I was looking down the whole time. Maybe he would have spoken to me had I looked more approachable. Sigh.

[Iron_Man]

If he works there you should go back and just talk to him

[Asker]

Thank you. Do you think he'd still be interested in me? He did show strong interest that day. But maybe he's like that with every girl 🥲

[Iron_Man]

There’s only one way to find out

[In_Trance]

approach him the way you'd want him to approach you