I have a lot of trouble communicating with men without getting emotional and in tears when they raise their voices. How do I become less frightened?

[JiayiShi]

It's pretty much all in the title and I know how pathetic it sounds, but whenever a guy my age or ESPECIALLY older raises their voice or are just generally unhappy towards me, I always start crying.
I have absolutely no clue why I am so scared of just, men? Under normal circumstances, I can communicate just fine, but the moment things become just the slightest bit intense I get incredibly emotional. I start to hyperventilate and cry even when they're not even yelling.

I have absolutely no problem with women. I can have a heated argument no problem but why does that change as soon as the gender changes? I just want to communicate normally and not have tears in my eyes as soon as I get criticized by someone of the opposite sex.

Literally, what do I do? This is so annoying and pathetic and I don't want to be scared of men lmfao I just wanna communicate and argue just like I do with women.

[God_of_Thunder]

It sounds like a psychological issue, possibly something from your past.

The fact that you said "especially older" men suggests to me that it could be the result of some sort of father figure in your life. Did you ever have an experience with a father, step father, or older relative raising his voice to you in a traumatic way? Or did you maybe not have anyone to fill that role in your life, and as such, never learned how to cope with the disapproval of a male figure?

I'm presuming, of course, and I could be way off base, but my thought is that you're eitber recalling a past event, or it's just something you have never experienced, so you're just feeling vulnerable and frightened by it.

[ChrisMaster69]

A lot is confidence and standing your ground no matter what.

however from what you have said, I would personally book a session with a counsellor.

Sit down and go over it with them, have a bunch of examples written down and talk them through.

Have you an older brother, do you argue with your dad?

it does sound like there is a sub conscious trigger at work here, hence counselling.

[Anonymous]

Maybe find a nice boy your age who you can start a friendship with, so you can talk to him about all this, and feel comfortable around him so you can start realising that there isn’t always danger in the opposite gender. :)

[Teaku94]

You are young. You'll get stronger as you get older. But then again, there's no excuse for a guy in his right mind to raise his voice at a woman.

[FireFox001]

You should be actually training yourself for that. Have a friend whom you trust yell at you. This is something you just have to face.

[whosnumber1]

there is some kind of psychological trigger there. there's definitely a reason. I think once you figure out the trigger you can solve the problem.

[ross83]

Do you have males friends you could talk to and try to get to the bottom of it

[ElizaPam]

Men are scary they're so much stronger 😭😭😭

[Anonymous]

Grow some balls is all I can say

[Anonymous]

you need to raise your self-esteem.