Should I confront my girlfriend or just let it go?

[Anonymous]

girlfriend acting different, but things are better now, should I confront her or let it go?

• Been together 2 years, live on separate coasts of the US. I am trying to find a job there and she is willing to move to be with me until I find one there. She got in legal trouble last year and can't leave her state until it is resolved.
• She has lied and hid a lot of things from me, no known infidelity, but knows if she lies again I can't forgive her anymore. She has been communicating better for the last 6 months when she realized that I was ready to end things after the last "huge" lie, but seems to have been more honest the last 6 months.
• Last month, she used my credit card to go to a spa, said it was time for herself, but paid entry for 2 people, bought alcohol with my card at a store before. Later said she was with a female friend.
• Over a week, one male friend began posting that he loves her on all her photos, she liked each comment, but deleted my comments. I asked her to make sure there are boundaries that are not crossed since she has a ring.
• Next, posted one of those "ask me" posts and then posted her responses to several men asking her out. I told her she was making me feel very uncomfortable and that we need to talk about what is going on, denied being unfaithful, said that she feels depressed. She has depressive episodes about every 4 months.
• Had her phone stolen a month ago, I put her on my plan so she got a new phone. Bill just arrived and one number had 130+ messages and 50+ calls up until the day before she went to the spa. Curious, I searched the number and there were no names. There was nothing since to that number.

The optics appear how someone acts when a relationship ends (look at how many men want to be with me and trying to get their attention and regret the loss). Things have been great the last 2 weeks and she has been the perfect girlfriend. Should I just let this go since it appears to be resolved or talk to her about who owns the number?

Updates

10 mo

Thanks for all of the advice. I asked her if she can tell me who owns the number where she had 50+ calls and 150+ messages in a 2 week period in early May? She became defensive, said she doesn't have to tell me anything, that I am reviewing her activity. I told her that I review credit card statements, energy use, cell use... it is normal and she can feel free to look at my use on everything as well and feel free to ask me any questions about anything. She got angry and blocked me.

Updates

10 mo

I am seeing everyone's point, she wanted her cake and eat it too and I have to cut my losses now before it gets worse. I think the reaction to my simple question about who owns the number is one of a guilty conscious, a normal reaction to a long term partner would be something like yeah, I had a fight with my friend and we stopped talking. But the reaction I received was blaming me for invading privacy and blocking. The credit card she was using is now locked and about to lock the phone.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Bro the only way this could get worse is if she asks you to be the fluff girl to keep her man erect until she comes over and F's him on your car. What the ist man have some self respect, you can do better. You cannot do worse unless she's like an actual incarcerated felon or something. Then it may be a toss up. No P is that good man.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Her making excuses for her poor behavior instead of owning up to it and apologizing is all I need to know.
"Depression" is not a reason for doing all that stuff with other guys, it's an excuse and a lame one at that.

My advice: run

[Sasha0426]

Dude, if none of those scream red flags to you, you’re fucked.

[DaveJord]

So I have been in this situation, and when she was nicer to me it meant she might be feeling guilty over something she did, but you haven't figured out yet.

[coachTanthony]

Let everything go unless it happens more than 3 times.

[RavVid]

Get the ring back. How many red flags do there have to be? She simply isn't capable of a relationship.

It is standard that girls attack back with accusations to put themselves in a victim status but it usually indicates wrong doing.

Since her phone is on your account, you could probably get a copy of the messages if you rang the provider. Just make up some nonsense of a lost message you really need.

I won't say more as others will have already done this.

[CallmeTheKnight]

I don’t care what you hope for, she’s not the one for you. Cheating on you, using you, disregarding your feelings all right in your face.
Depression episodes only works on fools and they are no excuses. She can lie but can’t be honest about not wanting you. Cut your losses and find someplace else to live rather than with her. She’s full of shit

[boggboss]

Lol what are u even asking u said u would end things if she lied again which she did but she has been good for 2 weeks so u wonder if things are fine sorry mate u are clowning yourself

[HollyK21]

Absolutely agree, she screwed him over again and probably still sneaking around behind his back. Hope he cuts his losses.

[boggboss]

Thats what I mean this relationship is so fucked fundamentally to the point its pretty obvious even if she is not directly cheating ehich I doubt she is definitely playing him for a fool and using him

[Part2603]

Bruh, you're 40. Either get married or don't. You've been slamming this pussy for two years now, I think it's time to call it quits and upgrade to a younger girl.

[Finchie40]

You need to dump this bitch man , she is clearly playing you and using you , You are digging
Your own grave by holding on to a selfish whore like this

[exitseven]

this will not be the last problem you will have. I would cut your losses. Tell her that it is just not working out.

[Travis_Skyles]

Confront her, tell her exactly how you feel and then end your relationship with her. I think she's cheating on you.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Hell, I wouldn't even confront her I'd just change the locks. There's nothing she can say that's going to change anything. My time is valuable I'm not wasting it on conversation.

[Travis_Skyles]

Then there is no satisfaction. She must know how her actions have affected him.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Thats narcissistic. She doesn't care how her actions have affected him. So I'm in Iraq. I shoot a bad guy in the face and his family complains to me that I shot their brother/husband/father. I'm sure they're upset. I also don't care. I shot him because I wanted him dead what are you going to tell me that's going to change my outlook on the situation? He made good bricks at the brick factory? GTFO with that noise.

She has multiple instances of not giving a flaming bag of shite what this man has gone through and is using him with zero regards for his well-being, and you think she's suddenly going to have an epiphany and regret her choices because he gave her a stern talking to?

Closure is what weak people want when they can't take control of their own situation. There's no such thing as closure in the real world.

[KrakenAttackin]

Dude, she is banging some other guy and buying him shit with your money. Eject this cunt.

[imfreeze95]

These are all red flags. My solution is to dump and ghost

[Stevenk0964]

Break up. You are destroying yourself and she clearly thinks you can be walked over. Stand your ground my brother!

[richardcory]

What are your reasons for not leaving?

[e232bm]

Don’t even talk to her about it just leave.