Why do girls hookup with guys immediately and are later shocked when they don't call?

Question

Why would he call? He already got what he wanted, I wouldn't call either.

TruthBringer · Accepted Answer

Here is my detailed answer:

No set boundaries that they are keen to live up to. And NO communications of intentions whatsoever. By giving sex to the guy, they HOPE to win his commitment. But as you can see, reality slapped them in the face.

What many women do not understand is that opening your legs to a man will not guarantee his commitment. In fact, it will often lead to him ditching them as he will see them as "too easy". Especially if the man got many options. S

I got the following to say to these woemn:
Until you make a relationship a requirement to sex, guys will continue to have sex with you without needing to commit. Because really, why should he pay for something he got for "free" already. Maybe it is time to learn to communicate intentions instead of expecting the man to read your mind and keep those legs shut until you managed to get that commitment you so much want. Until then, stop complaining about being "used" when you're the one opening your legs willingly.

Having sex without commitment may apply to men who aren't so good with scoring women and are desperate to secure one. But good luck winning it from the bad boy who has no issues scoring lots of women.

loveslongnails · Accepted Answer

I think the simple answer is that they're dumb, AND they are living in a fantasy world if they are "truly shocked or surprised" they don't get called. They might be thinking "this is the hot guy who's going to be the one who's into me, so it doesn't matter that I fucked him on the first date. It's going to work because he's different - he's the one".
Surprise !!!

ohshee · Answer

Or you can say why are girl shocked when the moment they met the guy I didn't take the time to actually read who he really is because if you listen to the guy he will tell you exactly who he is and what he's going to do that way you could walk away then instead of either believing or dreaming that whatever you felt you felt it wrong you heard it wrong you have to understand you know everything's going to happen before it happens all you have to do is listen
Within five minutes I know if I'm compatible with this person or not I know within 10 minutes but I'm trying to talk myself into it that it's going to be wrong and within 15 minutes I'm talking to myself as I'm walking away because I know it's not going to work
And for me if I'm going to hook up with a girl then we both have to understand what that word means it means like I'm a tow truck I'm going to pick you up I'm going to take you where you want and when we get there I'm dropping you off and I'm going to leave our first you're going to pay me and then I'm going to leave.
Yeah it's me hook up is just wrong word. Look up to me memes we're hooking up and we're going to go until the wheels fall off we're both going to get dressed and we're going to go our separate ways not unless between the pickup and the end of the hook up you find something that you really like about the person. And then that's when it becomes a date the next time you going to get together. Every single one of us has had that feeling before when you first meet somebody you like that person but you know it's not going to work that you allow yourself to get talked into it are you talk yourself into it because you just wanted that bad you want something that bad end if everybody would listen to ourselves nobody would feel bad after

Diodoro · Answer

I doubt it's actually shock, just wishing it was different. I've had more girls be surprised when I got back to them when they messaged me the next day

And I usually hit a girl up a few days later if she doesn't get in touch with me sooner. To me it doesn't make sense as a guy to just stop having sex after one time. I actually like women and enjoy sex

Most of my sex partners became return visitors. I've had days where I went day drinking with friends. Met some girls. I take one to her place. I go back to my place and one of the other girls in the group who crashed on my couch wanted to hookup at my place in the morning. Then go out again the next night to have round 2 with the first girl

That shit is exciting. That's fun to me. A guy having sex one time and leaving to never see or have sex with that girl again is odd to me unless there was something very wrong with her that he didn't realize at first and distanced himself to avoid those problems. That's the only time it makes sense to me

hi_it_is_me123 · Answer

The same reason why girls have sex with a guy after many months and is shocked when he does not call her. If someone wants to use you for sex, she/he will do it anyway. You can wait many years while he is cheating on you and leaves you after sex. I am middleeastern and we wait till marriage. So i can say the same about western women who dont wait till marriage but are also shocked when he does not marry them. So a dickhead is a dickhead. I know even married men who cheat on their wifes. So even if your husband may cheat on you and use you for sex , i would not be shocked when a guy like in your question title uses women for sex. If a guy is good, he is good and won't use you. It does not matter, whether you wait till marriage or have sex on the first date. Waiting does not guarantee you a good guy. A good guy dont use any woman.

I dont understand why we always blame women and slutshame women although the fboys are at fault. At the same gold diggers get hated unlike fboys. So women get shamed for using men for money which is ok but they also get shamed for getting used by men for sex. Nobody defend a golddigger and call men stupid for getting used but we even get (slut-) shamed for getting used. At least dont shame on women for getting used.

In my opinion this is like blaming the women for getting raped instead of the rapist.

Moose304 · Answer

I'm confused! Is the question assuming sex happened? Let me give you my perspective as a 63-year-old single male. I do not date exclusively and I make sure my "hookups" know this date is a ONS! I sometimes call back and sometimes I do not. So to keep this comment under a thousand words I will sum it up this way. I normally date women in the 30 to 45 age range. I am always watching their body language and looking for their "tells" almost like a poker game. After years I consider myself a pretty good judge when it comes to girls "tells"! If those "tells" are in direct conflict with her words I WILL NOT call her back! I don't put women on a pedestal BUT I always respect them enough, to be honest! I don't like to be around ANYBODY male or female that lie to me or are disrespectful. YES, I do expect sex, I will NOT spend $50 to $75 OR MORE on a female just to get we had a nice time tonight! You can hate me for this, but I am honest upfront! So if I don't call a girl back, she really needs to examine what she did wrong! I know I am a monster! I am not claiming to be a saint. I am 63 years old and don't have time for these stupid games!

BDPerformance · Answer

I think guys that don't call back period are childish and rude, but I also do think that sex is extremely important in a relationship. In my opinion the quicker I find out how sexually compatible we are, the quicker I know so many things (honestly to much to list here lol). In addition it doesn't make a person a "hoe" or a "slut" because one has sex on "the first date", as long as you aren't just sleeping with every person you see and you really actually like the person then in my opinion... those people that try to talk you almost into a vowl of celibacy have the real problem... by that I mean they 1. Most likely haven't had amazing sex before and are jealous
2. Well lol there are many reasons but in my opinion it boils down to control and jealousy.
To sum this up in my opinion guys quit being dicks and call the lady back.
Girls don't hold back if you want to fuck his brains out by God do it but remember you made that decision knowing that you actually like this person and aren't just infatuated with him cause a person can be beautiful on the outside and ugly as hell on the inside and being super ugly inside makes the most beautiful person seem so completely unattractive. I'm 31, a guy and I'm very intune with my emotions (both good and bad) and I'd like to think I'm decent looking, the real question here is why the hell do the women go for the guys that treat them like shit and guys like me don't really ever get a shot. Sorry I could go on and on about this lol so I'll stop, bye.

Lliam · Answer

Are you saying that all he wanted to do was fuck you once? That doesn't make sense. Why would he want to stay with you and fuck you a lot?
And how would withholding sex make him want to stick around?

I've had quite a few girlfriends. With all of them, we began having sex very early on and it didn't make me think any less of them. In fact, it made me fall in deep infatuation. They were great girls.

Then again, I have the greatest respect and admiration for sexually active women who are seeking loyal boyfriends. I don't think of them as whores or sluts.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

They have imaginations. Will fake being a 7 when they're a 4 with makeup, pushup bras, and high heels to get the 9 out of 10 men and then presume that pussy will lock him down. They don't realize a top of the top guy may fuck, but why would he settle for that? Why would they commit to that? What would he get out of that? Meanwhile she walked past plenty of dudes that would've worked hard for the 4 of her and she whouldn't have to play dress up from the start. Determined... another determined basic bitch trying to get and keep what she, by logic's standards, doesn't really deserve or even captivate the attention seeking beyond giving up that pussy.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Because women are natural born liars (it's seldom malicious it's just in their makeup) so it's no surprise when they lie to themselves. They create a fictional guy out of the guy she has just met. And if the real guy wants to get laid he's going to stay away from saying anything that would derail that. He'll go along with whatever storyline she's writing. It's why I've said guys who lie usually do the best with women. He simply feeds her fantasy till he's got what he wants.

Juan_Curious · Answer

The problem is how the male mentality works. Lots of men act like jerks because we afraid of commitment and at the same time we usually have certain trouble to admit that we only want sex and nothing more with that precise woman. It is a clear sign of miscommunication. Most men are not clear about that. We can be married or have a girlfriend or be single but not wanting to commit in a relationship and we don't tell her previously, because that would mean a serious risk of not getting laid. And at the same time the victims of this attitude are women who are searching for the one, for the guy who would treat them with respect, and instead of him they get involved with guys who fuck them and then disappear. Many women have a high body count because of this male attitude, and not because they wanted to fuck with everyone. Most women I know would probably stay monogamous if they had found the right person from the beggining.

Heartache0405 · Answer

Because girls don't know how to stay single. They apparently need someone on standby for if and when they are either broken up with or do the breaking up themselves. Fear of being alone is ridiculous in my personal opinion. Men do it far longer than women which shows because when you're alone for a long period of time you work on yourself during that time. Women don't give themselves that time. Hence why they don't learn anything from their previous relationships and always blame their ex even when it was a mutual break up. Why do you think women call their exes assholes when the break up was mutual? My sister did this. I think it's pathetic

tatianamay · Answer

I'm against hooking ups (people can do whatever they want, and i ain't gonna judge em, but i ain't gonna have sex with a man i barely know!). Thats risky business. I prefer getting into a relationship abd then having sex.

I know that im young and stuff, but this view of mine isn't ever gonna change

Star_88 · Answer

Yeah it's very silly to expect a random sex partner to call you ever again. The deed has been done, hormones calmed down and there's nothing new left.
But most girls expected more than sex, *love*.
Only insecure girls agree to have 'just sex' and hide their true intentions because they hope that maybe he will develop feelings for her after having sex. This is a delusional way of thinking.

shaysh87 · Answer

if a man leaves you immediately after he has sex with you, chances are he never really wanted to date you from the beginning. If love was absolutely anything on his priority list, he would stay even after the sex. From my experience, sex doesn't make a guy lose interest, its just that you're having sex with the wrong guys

Lifelive96 · Answer

hmm i think this happens when the boy knows what they do is ‘’hookup’’ but the girl doesn’t. Sometimes men try to convince that they love the girl and have connection with her and because of that of course after sex women will want to be called by the man. But if both of them knows that was just the hook up i think no girl will want to be called from the man. It is about knowing the intention.

kqueen · Answer

Maybe because they were hoping that the person they hooked up with was into them for more than just a one night stand, or because it was stated or implied that the sex was not a one time thing. You really ghost guys as soon as you have sex with them? That's not exactly standard

boltfox20 · Answer

As a man that would call, I can say that I honestly do not understand those men.

A: If you had a good time, why not try for another one?

B: If you are not going to call, why say that you will?

The only answer I can find is that they want to hurt the woman so that they do not pursue them.
¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

Slithers · Answer

I think girls that think this just don't get it. If you sleep with someone, it's just that. They might call you or they might not. Just like if you go out on a date with someone they might not call you or they might want to see you again.

I've slept with someone first date, then dated them and even ended up marrying couple years later. I've also slept with women I decided not to see again. It's just sex. There's nothing wrong with it, it's not slutty, and it also doesn't mean commitment.

Mary087 · Answer

Some of us hoped it would've turned into more and he possibly could've led us on but thats why its called a hook up not a date or something more.. i can't do hook ups knowing the emotional disappointment it will cause me like im so done too with dating because even then they lie and they lie till a honest guy comes along😞

hahahmm · Answer

Because they're don't listen to people with a clue, including traditional guys who say: Don't act like a whore if you don't want to be treated like one. And don't act like a whore if you want a guy to take you seriously. They think they know better.

Or they focus on the exceptions to the rule.. sort of like a homeless person spending his last $5 on a lottery ticket because somebody else won the lottery.

Oigit · Answer

I am a highly defensive person. Sometimes I think a woman might hookup with a guy hoping that it might get him to drop his defenses a bit. So she can get to know him better. So they might end up waiting for the call hoping that things move forward from there. Thinking that they had sex so he has to let me in more. He can't keep his defenses up that high after that.

desidoll · Answer

Good question. I have one promiscuous friend who got mad about it. These women obviously use sex to trap the guy, thinking he will stay. Too bad, sex doesn’t mean love to most men. They should get over it.

globetrotter22 · Answer

Wishful thinking.

If you she really expects him to date before doing the grand finale she needs to communicate that clearly before hand. And when I say communicate she has to tell him she likes him (in a sexual way) but doesn’t feel comfortable hooking up immediately.

PinkMichae · Answer

We have faith they aren't just in it for sex. Some guys lie and act really good making women think it's not just about sex to them. But sadly there are lot's of guys that play.

rienna888 · Answer

I think it’s cuz since the girl is attracted to the guy and wants to not only have sex but to date the guy and thinks he feels the same way. Guys will act like they’re in love and might even ask out the girl. Then they have sex and the guy shows his true colours.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

It’s normally a big hint when you don’t ask or offer mobile numbers….

Both know what the score is.

admittedly sometimes you click and it’s a bitch as you know you don’t want any relationship.

Soleil8000 · Answer

Most are ridiculously stupid about the thing that preoccupies them the most.
I can understand when one doesn't have a clue about something peripheral, something they have no interest in - but being clueless in their central field of interest - such lack of IQ/intelligence/understanding of causal relationships - I have absolutely no idea how they can be that dumb 😳

crazy8000 · Answer

They sucks at choosing right person to date as vast majority of female's does in early age. even as long as up to 40. when market value is to low to really on just physical attribute.
It has to do with emotional immaturity.

Prefer to end up in bed on the first date otherwise is it a huge chance it doesn't trigger right feelings for something more serious longterm.

HughDogg · Answer

Well a woman produces increased levels of oxytocin during sexual activity which is considered the bonding hormone. While men do produce it, but not as much.

This is probably the main reason why woman become more emotionally invested after having sex than men do.

CandaceSims201 · Answer

this why i always make clear that i am not instersted in sex and only here to have a relationships that is long term. if you not instersted in then don't bothering asking for sex from me i always will rejected guys that men whore and players . next.

cookiecrusher · Answer

Honestly, it usually starts from the guys they choose.

But yeah, doesn't help much to be slutty with strangers.

I mean it's great for a guy, but makes one think after (during post nut clarity), how many guys has she let in her, probably a lot. And that is a very big turn off for men.

A lot of guys might actually be looking for something serious but certain behaviour can change the plan.

sunshineglow · Answer

Can somebody explain to me finally what does hooking up actually means in English?
I got it can mean kissing, but also sleeping casually. Or just get into some casual on and off relationship. What is it in the end?

CasaNorba · Answer

because a lot of women like to assume we men think the same way as they do and keep their hopes up to damn high when they think the guy is automatically gonna fall in love with them if she lets him in between her legs for one night

Dragonpurple · Answer

If all they wanted was to use her body for their own pleasure, why would he call? IF he did call, wouldn't it just be to use her again and again and again?

Texaskid1 · Answer

Because women use sex as a means for attaining a relationship. If the woman gives it up too early the man has won the game - he has captured the prize of her Golden Palace and now he moves on to other conquests.

katiesmuff · Answer

I was just the opposite as when I'd hook I generally didn't want to hear from them again.

SenseiSeptred · Answer

There is a reason why trials and tribulations are set out by me and the clan structure that is paramount to a successful relationship and marriage, and many of them have brought tears to both sides of the equation.

jshm2 · Answer

What you mean to ask is: " why do some girls put out easier than others?"

Redstang88 · Answer

To be fair guys can be pretty good at leading girls on, even if it’s not intentional. And who says guys won’t be interested because you don’t play games and make us wait?

NetSapien · Answer

I don't know, I would call though. She's likely a sure lay why wouldn't I?

rosesanddaisies · Answer

I worry especially when they don't text because then I think they are mad at me.

Blackcupcake · Answer

lmfao... "I wouldn't call either" that's hilarious hahaha

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I agree with you, Why would a guy call after he got what he wanted

jasco · Answer

I mean emotional attachment is difficult to break, depending on how deep it goes. Most girls that I know of anyway would not just give out sex without having some attachment to them first

LemiaOfChampions · Answer

Probably because they expect that something to come out of it.

Paul09 · Answer

These girls go for the bad boys, then get burned. No kidding. You got what you asked for. Why do they keep going back to those types of men? Beats me.. 😑

Dargil · Answer

You are right. He jumped into sex and disabled a potential relationship. Ya gotta take baby steps.

zagor · Answer

The refrain...

ChiPaPa · Answer

Oh the guy i am interested has to be different. If I just open my legs and let him have at it, he'll stay. Fuck those people.

kerbeary2003 · Answer

Lol I laughed at this question. I guess she’s right? 🤷🏼‍♀️

AnthonyJ01 · Answer

Not all guys are like that. Although it does go both ways. Most times that is all either are wanting, but occasionally it can turn into more.

Shawn411 · Answer

Because you needed some back that thang up as well now move on baby 👶...

Ilieknoodles · Answer

A girl went out of my way and asked my buddy where I went. I don't know if it’s a sign she missed me. I don't know women are confusing. I came back out her doggy and rammed

PardontheMasculinity · Answer

That’s not all I want I break up with girls over stuff like that it’s insulting that won think so little of men that we only want sex we are human beings too with feelings not just some sex maniacs

Twalli · Answer

Because they believe the sex was so phenomenal that the guy wants a relationship now.

red324 · Answer

Wowwgirl your guy called back after hooking up it says you're in a relationship.

OddBeMe · Answer

I said I had a thing to get to. Maybe cuz you chicks are so emotional?

Slim57 · Answer

So they can play victim, or they're just really that stupid.

paradiseonearth93 · Answer

Not all guys just want sex, they’re humans my god

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

No clue lol

Toldol2 · Answer

Men avoid needy women

Why do girls hookup with guys immediately and are later shocked when they don't call?

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Why do guys hook up with a girl and then never talk to her despite continually checking her social media?

Why do girls hookup with guys immediately and are later shocked when they don't call?

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Why do guys hook up with a girl and then never talk to her despite continually checking her social media?

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