It's not a new concepts.
Women only sound like hypocrits because they can't explain why they do what they do.
They want a nice guy sure. But they don't want an indecisive guy, or a guy who feels he is owed sex for being nice, these things repulse them. The appeal of the bad boy is his ability to shamelessly ask for what he wants and get it.
I met this girl at a party on chirstmas and we went out a couple of times.
I made my moves, kissed her, took her home... but she said she didn't want to have sex so we didn't.
We met up later and she told me how all her exes were jerks and horrible in bed. Then followed it up with how she doesn't sleep around. (Not that she's also a tourist in my city). So basically she saw me as a nice guy who hides his intentions.
So I looked her in the eye and said:
"Look, we both know THIS is not going to lead to anything real. You are leaving soon and my chances of seeing you again are anyone's guess.
I want to sleep with you, just in case my intentions were not clear before."
To which she replied: " you are smart and kind and with a bright future and if I slept with you I might fall for you, if you were a jerk I would have done it."
That shattered me so I said:
"Well in that case there's no point in wasting eachother's time. You keep saying you had bad experiences, that's because you only sleep with jerks. Hit me up if you want to know what great sex feels like, otherwise it was a pleasure meeting you"
And I left while super angry but never showed it.
And surely enough two days later she texts and wants me to come over to her airbnb.
It was that simple. She refused me because she thought I'm trying to sneak my way into her pants by being nice.
I made it clear that I am a decent well mannered guy but I want what I want this is not a game to me i want to sleep with her. And she respected the assertiveness and made her think what sex with me would be like.
The same reason most men are as well , Todays World is so lost when it comes to Love and relationships , I blame a lot of it on social media for making people think grass is greener on the other side , Most people consume their time and minds looking at their phones and taking in useless knowledge , every girl is a whore and every guy is a fuck boy etc, and everyone cheats So girl’s are dealing with the same shit guys are dealing with , Most people can’t accept the fact that they are wrong for their actions , they easily point their fingers at someone else and blame them for the way they are , what people need to realize is we can’t force someone to love us or stand by our side , what someone does is their choice, whether we think it’s right or wrong it doesn’t matter , what matters is you need to focus on yourself , Love and value yourself , We can only give to someone what we want to receive , if we aren’t receiving what we are giving you are best to walk away and move on and find someone that wants to stand by your side , surround yourself with people that think like you do , we can’t force someone to think like we do , We can only guide someone to love us but we can’t force them. Selfishness is the biggest relationship killer , When someone is not getting their way in a relationship they easily jump to the other side instead of fixing what they have right in front of them, even though it hurts to lose someone we gave our heart to , you have to realize their actions aren’t your fault , their actions is something they have to live with and deal with and suffer the consequences of. You can be the nicest guy on Earth treating your partner with love and kindness but that doesn’t mean you should be awarded for it, If that partner doesn’t do the same for you you are best to value and love yourself and walk away , Never be a sitting duck to someone that can’t give you the same in return , you will only be hurting yourself. What a girl chooses to do is the same a guy chooses to do the only difference is we don’t think alike , Girls need emotional needs over physical needs to be met for her to fall in love and Guys need physical needs over emotional needs to be met for him to fall in love , That’s just how we are made , so what we choose to do is on ourselves whether it is right or wrong , we are all imperfect people
"They say they want a guy who treats them well, yet they fall for the jerks."
Boys who say that are just jealous of these jerks for having beautiful young girls as girlfriend who is crazy immature jerk too. If she was an ugly obese old woman, you probably would not care. I have never ever seen an average looking mature woman in her late 20s who is financially settled down aka have caarer with jerks. Have you ever seen a lawyer, doctor, teacher with a jerk? So who like jerks now? I guess you.
"They say personality is what matters not looks, yet fall for the 6'4 guy with bulging muscles. " so handsome men can't have a good personality? Are you suprised that women need to be attracted to men too? This is the part of sexuality. You thought women are blind? Everyone cares about looks to an extent. And short ugly men ain't automatically nice guys lool. What has that to do with looks? Furthermore, men get called visual when they say they like attractive young women but women get shallow for liking tall men for example In MY EXPERIENCE. ( i can't generalize, of course and this is anecdotal)
"They say money and status is not that important to them, but fall for the dude driving a hot car who's loaded." It is not a surprise that traditional feminine women like a provider. I really dont understand why some guys want only the good parts of feminity but reject the bad part of it. According to biology/instincs females want strong, tall, healthy fit men that can provide, protect and give healthy off- springs while males want fertile, young, childless etc females. Yes we can control our instincs but it is still has some control over us to an extent.
"This is most, not all, but why can't they ADMIT their hypocrisy?" As i said it is not accepted in my experience. I watched many youtube videos in which women were honest about their preferences for tall men but they get so much hate in the commentsection aka they got stoned online by many men for example. So why should women risk it?
By the way it is perfectly ok to have physical dating preferences. If you like/prefere tall pretty skinny curvy girls cool for you but so can women like tall or muscular guys
s Such generalizing of women. Some of us are not attracted to men at all so we aren't going for any of those things you said.
That being said, I am sure there are a few girls you may have been interested in, but they picked someone else and that's cool it happens.
See, the guys who claim they want these girls tend to go for the insanely attractive girls who feel they are above his level. Those girls go for what you listed off because they feel they can get it.
For those of us not born winning the genetic lottery for one reason or another (and coincidentally the ones saying we want the guys with the great personality), we have always been clear and continue to seek it out.
Now, the monkey wrench in all this is that those same guys you talk about having the muscles and the money usually have something those other guys lack, confidence. They are generally the first to approach and say or do the things to get our attention. It's not necessarily the cars or money or body that's doing it. It's the confidence that is attractive.
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Truth is, women don't actually know what they want until they have it. Society has conditioned women to be afraid of being themselves. So of course, asking a woman what they want usually won't get you an honest answer. Like everyone, actions speak louder than words. But ultimately I think you are going about this in a way that won't get you the results with women that you want. Human beings in general are surprisingly primitive when it comes to attraction. Therefore, the more dominant you are, the more feminine a woman is, and vice versa. So the best way to better your results with women, is to refocus on your ultimate purpose. Women are biologically wired to not want men that make them the center of their world. Some will tell you that that is in fact what they want, but you just left examples of how that isn't the case. The high quality women you want, will come to you once you no longer make your focus about women, but about goals that better you as a person. Its not the approach Disney movies teach us, but it is in fact the way it works. Good luck to you my friend.
You know, I WANT to argue with you and say you're wrong. But I can't. Because you're not wrong. Especially when it comes to romance, which I know the affects of, personally.
"All you got to do is be a decent guy and treat a woman like a human being."
Actual results from an actual question on that:
Does just being a nice, decent, average-looking man assure you a realistic chance to get a good, caring female partner?
And while I've cried, figuratively and literally, that women do not want me because I am too short (plus overweight) for them to "downgrade" to a guy who is their height or shorter, and that I'll spend the rest of my life alone, I do not wish to speak ill or negatively of anyone.
But... With that said, like I mentioned earlier, I cannot argue with what you've said here. Women DO most often say one thing, and do another. Claim "personality is all that matters" but all of them are dating six foot+ fit athletic men with successful careers.
Oh well. I guess this is why MGTOW and other similar "be your own happiness" movements exist. Learn to live without relationships or sex. I certainly will have to.
I personally haven’t dated or been in a relationship, but I’ll share my perspective.
1. I would want a man that treats me well, but has a backbone and isn’t afraid to set boundaries with me. There’s a balance. You don’t want a men who’s an insane simp, but isn’t a jerk that doesn’t respect you either.
2. I’m not insanely picky with looks, but looks do play a certain role with either gender. I’ve been attracted to all races, overweight guys and I honestly hate the muscle/athletic look. It’s nice to have a teddy bear lol.
3. Money is important to a degree, but I don’t need a man that makes six figures. I’d like a guy that is financially stable and takes care of himself. That means having his own place, own car, can splurge on himself sometimes, has a good career and isn’t a job jumper with entry level jobs.
I don’t want a “high value” man, jerk, player, etc. I just want a decent man that can take care of himself and is a good/faithful partner. I know some women can be confusing with what they want or have insane standards that most men can’t meet.
I would say both guys and girls are capable of being a tad hypocritical.
The problem with your Statement, as there is not really a question, is you generalise and tar everyone with your specific experience.
An example of hypocrisy from me.
you said “They say personality is what matters not looks, yet fall for the 6'4 guy with bulging muscles”.
Well I also say it’s personality that matter but when it comes down to it, if there were two girls with similar personalities, however if one was slim with small boobs and other a larger girl with big boobs, then without hesitation I would go for the slim girl.
Where a girl falls for a guy with a hot car and is loaded, it’s usually because he has drive and ambition to get where he is driving a hot car and have a job with loads of money, it’s that or the guy not willing to seize the day and take risks or has determination to get that better job and hot car.
No one admits to being a hypocrite, in life we are all invariably hypocritical at various points.
I guess if all the girls in the world selected a woman to be their spokesman to admit to various hypocrisy, would YOU represent all men and admit our hypocrisy?
Would you?
Who knows, who cares, just find yourself a nice caring fat chick and stop wasting you time on pretty girls, they are nothing but trouble.
Most seem to think all sorts of dumb toxic shit equals masculinity, if you don't want to argue and be an insisting Doughboy to other guys they don't think you are masculine and asertive. they want someone who has there shit more together than most and base it off dumb shit like where they life and what you drive.
They have this stupid need to feel like they have a protector so that makes them want a tall guy, cause tall equals stronger/better fighter than other guys to them, even tho it dosent.
They have all these inherently traditional wants but at the same time want to be treated equal. Being treated as an equal and being provided for and protected are very contradictory.
It just comes down to women that have a false undeserved idea of masculinty, could you examine if we told women what makes them a woman? They'd loose there shit.
But dude you complaining won't help anything, just avoid these broken women and get a good girl, she probably won't be no damn instagram model but find a good one. Mine like to cook bake and sow up my torn clothes and she has a good job so we both have our own money which is nice, of course she ain't no model or a freak in bed but qhats mote important to you? A good person who cares about you? Or some hot chick that's just with cause she's bored and only has sex to offer, you know till she leaves cause it was just a "I was bored" fling.
You can't blame those girls forever, you have to change your priorities, fuck them intitled pretty girls, stop chasing them, date the nice good girls
1) They say they want a guy who treats them well, yet they fall for the jerks.
That's a common misconception. You SEE other men as jerks. They're not. They're just more confident in themselves and can command situations whereas you cannot. You kindly think of yourself as a "nice" person yet proceed to blame someone else for your shortcomings. A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he blames someone else.
2) They say personality is what matters not looks, yet fall for the 6'4 guy with bulging muscles.
Again, that's your perception. If you were rejected for looks alone, that speaks more about who you choose to associate with.
3) They say money and status is not that important to them, but fall for the dude driving a hot car who's loaded.
A woman wants someone who is responsible. Naturally that means a man who can carry his own. He makes a living, is confident in himself, what he wants, and where he's going.
4) This is most, not all, but why can't they ADMIT their hypocrisy?
So you are going to paint all women with a broad brush and want them to admit to rejecting you for YOUR shortcomings? Get a life man.
They are not. It all comes down to semantics. What a woman mean by "nice guy", varies from culture to culture. Among other aspects, related to verbal, corporal language and general behavior. However, consider we are primates. Of course women's will be atracted to a powerful man (on money, influence or popularity), like how us feel atraction to women's who are in shape🤷♂️. Of course they'll feel atracted to a man who shows a dominant behavior, rather than a soft passive one. A dominant behavior assures she will be protected from dangers. Of course they prefer a partner taller than them (they want to feel protected).
Do most guys follow that criteria? The mayority cover it to the extent of been able to mantain a family. For most women's the fact that their partner has a decent job is enough. Things like height and strenght are irelevant for women's of the modern world. Been able to provide a ganance and been protective and supportive AND having a proactive sense of selfcare, is what modern day women's seen nowadays.
Because you haven't accepted yet that women just think different from guys. This was hard for me to accept. A lifetime of romantic comedies would have you believe that that is what women want. THEY DON'T.
First you have to accept that women are fickle. You can't know what they want because most of them don't know. This is why you never meet a guy who completely has a great relationship. Because no matter who she is she'll find something wrong with him. And it's really not her fault. All women have a little bit of crazy in them. The best women are they ones that accept it, admit it, and TRY to mitigate it.
Understand that women no matter how old they get will always be like little kids in the fact that with the fantasy and reality gets blurred. This is why they tend to fall for jerks and a**holes as you say. Because those guy are usually the best liars. They tell women what they like to hear. And I'm sorry to say most women are more willing to believe a good liar of and honest guy almost everytime. Because the liar paints the fantasy she wants. Women use their hearts and not their brains.
Both genders are hypocrites. Both genders lie about things. There's a song that goes "men lie, women lie".
What women mean is treat them like they have more value than a sex object. All guys interested in dating a woman approaches her nicely. The jerk of him doesn't show until later on.
Looks do not take top priority for many but some of us DO want to be attracted to our partners too.
For me, Money is important, being loaded with it isn't.
Just because some women say these things, doesn't mean women mean all of this in unison or mean all of it as standard for all women.
What woman wants an unattractive man with no funds who can't hold a conversation? There's no standards in that.
So um, the answer your first question, I didn't intentionally like the jerk, he kind of guilt tripped me to hell and back into being with him and threatened to commit suicide, so uh-
To answer the second, yeah, I do kind of like taller guys, but he doesn't have to be like 6' or whatever, just a little taller than me (I'm 5'3). Also um, I don't really like muscles like that, tbh.
And for the last one, idc about like money or status with guys because I kind of look at it as I can make my own money and achieve whatever status I want if I try hard enough. And idc about cars, really.
Um, I hope I don't like offend or anything and I'm sorry that you feel this way, sir.
Honey you don’t know more about women then they know about them selves.
My husband is shorter than me. He was broke, driving a Suzuki SX4. Living out of his motorhome while he went to college.
You wanna know what real hypocrisy is? Blaming over half the global population for your poor choice in romantic parters, or just your lack of ability to attract a good partner. There are shitty people out there, we’ve all come into contact with them.
But they do mean what they say.
Here is the issue...
. They like nice guys, but they like nice guys who have socials skills and a backbone.
. They like guys for their personality, and they do, but looks always play a role in attraction It's like that for everyone.. They will only go for money and status over everything else if they are gold diggers. Most women are not. Look do you think they want a super nice guy that calls them pretty every second, but doesn't work, sits on his ass all day, is ugly as fuck, doesn't have a drive license, doesn't have a job, lives with his mother and has zero social skills? Of course not! Balance my friend!
Because they are human
https://medium.com/the-partnered-pen/is-hypocrisy-part-of-human-nature-1badb4c69baa
Lmao because men like you are delusional. Not every girl is superficial and not every girl doesn’t care about looks. My current boyfriend drives a Hundai sonata, he’s attractive and he’s by no means a jerk. I have never admitted that looks don’t matter, I am not attracted to jerk men, and Nice cars sure don’t get me going
Well they aren't lying they want someone who is confident which is personality and if a duche is confident then they'll see that confidence they also see the cockiness but would rather be with that than someone who isn't confident
Women like money cause they want a man to provide and make sure she is secured financially and physically
Which leads to the size of the man they want someone who is able to physically protect her from others
If you got that and are kind understanding heart full of passion than you shouldn't have to worry what women want
1. Psychology is extremely powerful when used correctly. Most people don't show their true colors till they have to.
2. Everyone has standards and to a extent looks don't matter ( key words to a extent ). of course men/women want the best of the best but sometimes you just can't get it.
3. Everyone wants to live the high life ( everyone's high differs from personal interest and personality along with life style ).
4. It's not hypocrisy to choose what you want to date, everyone has a choose. Even tho most women are ok with dating the average man, most women do want the best. Same goes for men, we want the best of everything. That's human nature.
They're not being hypocrites, unless they told you or other people that and do the complete opposite. A lot of women do mature from poor dating choices, but you should consider that every woman is not for you.
When other chosen men are called "jerks" or "assholes", I honestly think that's the line of hypocrisy you're speaking of, because what you're doing is displaying that you're a jerk when you're frustrated. So let women make their decisions and if it's something to regret, then that's their fault. You should focus on yourself and be patient, you'll get a lady one day.
Good job stereotyping and labeling us all in one category. I can say the same about men, why are all men lying, cheating, lustfull man whores? See now that’s not fair to say this about all men, is it? Just because you choose terrible women as partners doesn't make it fair to say they all the same. Please grow up, stop with the bitterness and heal. Its either heal from all the hurt build inside or become a bitter, damaged lonely man.
Look women could be hypocrites bit so are men. They say personality is what matters not look still fall for girls that are slim with good figure and look pretty. People need to understand it's just human nature you notice looks as the first thing. Because there is no way you can understand someone's personality just by looking but better looks have more chances of attracting people.
That's no hypocrisy it's human nature for both men and women.
How many women can actually admit that they're wrong? If the answer is slim to none, why would they admit to being hypocrites? They've grown up believing that they're perfect and can do absolutely no wrong.
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