Do emotionally unavailable women come back, if they are aware of their issues and they are putting a wall up?

[alex199123]

The past three months have been a rollercoaster for me emotionally and I ended up getting hurt. Me and this woman started dating and then she said she was emotionally unavailable and couldnt progress the relationship even though she liked me. She told me a lot of personal issues in her life and she needed to figure out her life. We both said we would be friends and that we didn't want to lose our connection. Even as friends she had so many hot and cold moments. One day I'm at her house enjoying time with her and she's happy the next day she tries to push me away. I realized I put too much effort and energy into someone that has a wall up. I just tried to be there for her as a friend I helped with her car issues, and now i feel like an idiot for buying her gifts for Christmas. She loved the gifts but I just tried to show her that I care for you and you're not alone but it still wasn't enough.

Yesterday I had to cut all ties but I left the door open if she wanted to reach out and talk. I said it feels like you have a wall up and she agreed that she does and that she just isn't in a good space right now. She was feeling like she was leading me on which I told her she wasn't. I just said I'll give her the space especially knowing that she feels like she is leading me on. I dont have friends and I suck at dating and on top of that being depressed its hard. This felt like my last little bit of hope to be happy again. I wish I listened to all the people online that said just run away and find someone that will love you back, now I'm left hurt. No one cares about me in this world.

I know you're probably asking why would I want someone like that to come back in my life, to be honest I dont know I just try to see the good in people. It wasn't easy telling her I needed to move on and give her space but I made sure to tell her that I'm still a friend and if you need to reach out you still can. I never knew what the term emotionally unavailable until now. These people hurt you

[sage2021]

If they do come back, it's to continue using you for the things she has been using you for. Watch, who do you think she'll call next time she needs help with her car? YOU! And you would probably go and help her. That is your mistake if you help her. Then you'll start thinking about her again, and feel like she just used you, which invites more hurt. Don't do it. She is not going to show up at your door one day and say "I'm all better! I emotionally available for you now." It's not going to happen I am sorry to say. People like her are users. Did she get you anything for Christmas? I didn't think so. There are so many people like her these days. You will never have the kind of love you are looking for with her; and you deserve better. I would much rather be alone than to be with the wrong person. I don't mean to sound so blunt here, but I have had experience with an emotionally unavailable guy and it was like he just fed me little bread crumbs with his time. He sure was not physically unavailable if you know what I mean. They are users. Period. Nothin'to do with love. I am sorry you are hurting, cause that feeling really sucks. You are love sick right now, and right now feels like forever. But time presses on, and the hurt becomes less. Your life is not over, you never know where you'll be one day, and meet someone that was totally unexpected. It could happen someday. So, keep your chin up and don't allow anymore users in your life. They will only hurt you buddy. ☮️

[alex199123]

Thank you :)... I did cut ties yesterday, I probably shouldn't have but I just told her if she wants to reach out, she can but I'm not going to contact her. I know deep down I did the right thing I just hated all the mixed signals I got from her with the hot and cold moments she had. One day she's happy and saying how sweet I am and how I have a way with words and that I make her day. To the next day she's just shuts down and doesn't communicate. She never ignores any of my texts and she did right after Christmas until yesterday. Thats when I was like enough is enough, I'm not starting this new year being depressed again. It really does feel like I was used, and they don't realize the hurt that they cause to others even though they like to mention the hurt or problems they have to figure out. I tried at least so I can't feel too bad and if I leave the door open for her to reach out and she does I'm going into with low exceptions and not dating her, she has too much baggage and I don't want that. I learned from this experience and now I need to grow from it. Thank you for the advice, I'm starting to slowly have a clear head and I'm feeling a little bit better than yesterday.

[sage2021]

@alex199123

[sage2021]

@alex199123 you are very welcome! I wish you the very best! 😎

[bean2k21]

My close female friends confess all sorts of things
One in particular talks about her "love life"
As if it were a game of chess
She sat and thought one day
About, "What is the best thing for me?"
The answer, try to find, date, and marry a rich guy
And that's exactly what she did
So don't be offended -- not everyone
Has pure intentions like you do

[alex199123]

Eventually after a while, it takes a toll on me when I give and I give and nothing happens. I'm trying to move past this. I just hope I did the right thing by telling her I need to move on and give her the space that she need to figure out her life. It hurts but i know deep down that's the right thing to do. If she reaches out great but I know I can't put my life on hold chasing after a girl or in this case just trying to be there for her as a friend and she still struggles with her emotions. I have to protect myself from getting hurt again. At least I left the door open for her if she wants to reach out but I don't plan on contacting her moving forward unless she does, I won't ignore her. I'm starting the new year off right and accomplishing my goals

[Avicenna]

They know they have issues, but I doubt they can fix them

[alex199123]

At least I can walk away knowing I tried, it just hurts

[Avicenna]

The pain will go away eventually

[Anonymous]

She's just not that into you.
"Emotionally unavailable" doesn't really exist, she's probably seeing other guys, and just uses you for gifts, attention , to fix her car etc.
She even said that she's leading you on.
If that chick ain't fucking you, get away from her because it's going nowhere.

[alex199123]

I have already, I did it yesterday and cut ties. I just said I'm not gonna contact her unless she wants to reach out. I'm sick of meeting people like this I'm not gonna start this year off with someone bringing me down. it took me too long to get out of my depression and I'm not going back!

[Opinion Owner]

Good for you.
Women are really not as complicated as some people think.
If she's honestly attracted and wants you, she's gonna be all over you and texting you constantly.
If you have to wonder about how she feels, it's because there's nothing there.
Luckily there's lots of people on this planet, just move forward and improve yourself until you get a woman that's into you.

[In_Trance]

Not always