My girlfriend compares me to her ex all the time, how should I respond? (Page 2)

rcpc3333 · 2022-02-28T20:14:58Z

I've been dating my current girlfriend for 2 months, but we've known each other for a long time and are very close for more than a year. I love her a lot more than I mention here, but she keeps comparing me to her ex whenever there's even the slightest of discomfort in situations, and it really hurts me. She was angry at a situation where I was not able to help her, where I had done everything possible in my capacity to help her out, she started going on about her ex and how he would've done anything for her, that she could rely on him anytime but she can't rely on me, and he would've got her out of the situation. It was just a bad day for her and there's nothing that she or anyone could've done to help there, so I tried remaining calm, gave her some space to calm down then talk things through. But even the next day when I tried talking to her about that she still went on about her ex, and how she can't rely on me. I've always gone out of my way to help her through things and have always been there for her. She doesn't appreciate my effort, and makes excuses like my ex did so many things, he put in so much effort, why can't you. (Truth be told her ex was a crybaby who clinged on to her all the time, with no life of his own, and would cry when she was spending a minute away from him, that being the reason for her to leave him). I really like her and I don't want to fight or breakup over this issue. How should I deal with this? How should I react whenever this happens again, and what should I change? Any help is appreciated. Thank you :)

rcpc3333

Xper 1 Age: 22

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Moose304 Follow
Xper 7 Age: 65

+1 y

Well to each their own I guess. I would warn her ONE TIME to "Knock it off". If she continues ONE of us is leaving! This is one of the most disrespectful things a person male or female can do! IF you put up with it you are almost guaranteeing it will just get worse.

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AdithyaR Follow
Yoda Age: 23

+1 y

Tell her that comparing you to her ex is hurtful to you, not healthy for the relationship and makes you doubt if she's ready for this relationship. Tell her that she should stop it or you don't see a future for this relationship.
Worse case scenario, it could be a manipulative tactic she's using to chip your confidence down and coerce you into things. If that's the case, run buddy.

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Mangospacho Follow
Guru Age: 41

+1 y

🚩 She compared you to her ex when you couldn’t help.
🚩 She said you’re unreliable and her ex would do anything for her.
🚩 Her ex was supposedly 1,000 times better than you are and she dumped him anyway.
I don’t think there’s anything you can do other than break up with her.

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DizzyDesii Follow
Master Age: 29 , mho 55%

+1 y
2K opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

“You must miss your ex because you bring him up a lot. Am i not enough for you since you constantly compare us? I’m not insecure, i just need to know since you can't keep his name out your mouth.”

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Anonymous
(36-45)

+1 y

Look at all these women telling you to tolerate it. If the roles were reversed, they'd be singing a different song.

Tell her to go back to her ex. You don't need that kind of bullshit in your life or in your head. Find a woman who appreciates you.

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FreyaRed Follow
Guru Age: 23 , mho 39%

+1 y

Give her some time and don't think it's a comparison even if it sounds sometimes that way.
She thinks just loud and will forget him soon if she is happy with you.

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- rcpc3333
  
  +1 y
  That is true she thinks out loud a lot, she says everything that's on her mind to everyone. Sometimes it's helpful because I can know when she's being real but sometime's it can seem manipulative and harsh.
  
  Reply
exitseven Follow
Master Age: 53

+1 y
1.2K opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Explain how this upsetting this is for you. Comparing somebody to an ex is an awful thing to do. If she does not stop it you can always tell her that if he was so great, why not go back to him.

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Alyssa_11 Follow
Xper 6 Age: 26

+1 y

Tell her that it bothers you and that it’s unfair. Sometimes a woman can do this because she’s so hurt from her past and actually comparing you gives her some sense of comfort. You need to make her realise it’s not good.

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1 Reply
- Alyssa_11
  
  +1 y
  Doesn’t mean she’s still into him! Sometimes she’s still hurt.
  
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ShadezMcgee Follow
Guru Age: 31 , mho 32%

+1 y

... why are you still with her? She is disrespecting you by comparing you to someone who shouldn't mean anything to her anymore.

Dump the bitch.

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Heartache0405 Follow
Xper 7 Age: 27

+1 y

By breaking up with her because she is obviously still interested in her ex and not over him and you don’t deserve to have to deal with that BS. But hey she’s a woman men can’t pry themselves away from sluts so good luck

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Static_In_The_Attic Follow
Master Age: 42 , mho 38%

+1 y
315 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

You should ask your girlfriend how she broke up with her ex & break up the same way so she & try to compare that one.

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1 Reply
- Flower7
  
  +1 y
  I love this idea!
  
  Reply
itsjustme1029 Follow
Xper 1 Age: 22

+1 y

She is probably someone who is having a relationship to use you or for the purpose of just not being single. As soon as she finds someone she likes she would either cheat or break up with you. Find someone who will like you the way you deserve to be liked bro. I know sounded harsh but its reality

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- itsjustme1029
  
  +1 y
  Also, she doesn't appreciate your help because she doesn't like you enough, thats not ur fault its hers. She probably got heart broken from her previous relationship and is trying to fill her lovers gap with you. But it wouldn't work because ur not her ex (that she loved so much)
  
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Raphaëlle Follow
Xper 5 Age: 29

+1 y

Communicate and tell her what you don't like about this situation.

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Anonymous
(30-35)

+1 y

she is a whore and does not belong to you
she has already been marked

you don't know that when men and women have sex
they mark each other

and the first marking is the most important
thats why GOD SAID

one person per partner
but people do not listen

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1 Reply
- mobiusforniner
  
  +1 y
  Geez man, women aren't property. Get a life. Marked?
  
  Reply
Anonymous
(18-24)

+1 y

Why would you be around this kind of person let alone be her boyfriend? This red flag couldn't keep her ex so she settled with you and trying to make you into him because she is not over him if he still in her brain. She will cheat on you the minute she finds someone she thinks is better I suspect she already is

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JosyJosy Follow
Master Age: 31

+1 y
1.8K opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

That's disrespectful af. I would tell her to go back to her ex since she can't shut up about him. Cause it seems to me she's not ready yet for a new relationship. She's still living in the past

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SnakeBoop Follow
Guru Age: 24 , mho 46%

+1 y
570 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Sit her butt down and tell her off.
It's not right for her to compare you out of anger? That's showing she doesn't respect or care about you.

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melanieeeB Follow
Guru Age: 30 , mho 36%

+1 y
556 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Dammn you shouldn't be with someone who is comparing you to her ex all the time, like she is still into him for sure lol

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Sam_The_Savage Follow
Yoda Age: 27

+1 y

Compare her with your ex...
Problem solved. Just because you love her doesn't mean you have to kiss her feet be a man dude. Self respect come first.

1

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GlassTop Follow
Xper 7 Age: 29

+1 y

start comparing her to your ex, even if you never had one. “My ex would always swallow. She also let me fuck her ass when I wanted. She was a total bitch but sex was fun”.

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