Girlfriend compared me to her ex in a fight?

[Zimbo113]

My girlfriend has been having family issues lately. Mainly with one of my former best friends, her older brother. Recently they have both been coming at me for support, and I remain neutral towards her brother and supportive towards her.

My girlfriend confronted her brother the other day and stated I didn't like him. He became insecure and confronted me, and I told him it wasn't true. This prompted my girlfriend to blow up at me for apparently not defending her and stabbing her in the back. She told me her old boyfriend defended her, so why couldn't i?

I bit my tongue, apologized, and told her the only reason I kept contact with her brother was to keep the peace with her family respectfully, so it doesn't get in the way of us dating. She guilt tripped me and I promised not to talk to him anymore(which doesn't really phase me, I don't like him much anymore.)

The fight is said and done, and she is all happy with me now and I am acting happy as well. However, deep down I am a bit irritated. The fact that she compared me to her ex and guilt tripped me really makes me angry. I am always careful about what I say to her and never get mad at her, so it didn't seem quite respectful that she did it to me. I know she likes me much more than her ex, but still.

I want to bring it up to her that I am unsettled about how she reacted during the misunderstanding. I want to make it clear I didn't appreciate it and don't want it to happen again, however I am uneasy about reopening a dead fight. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Did she say this out of pure anger to get a reaction out of you, or did she actually mean it to an extent.?

If she was just upset, I don't think you should think much of it other then it was "word vomit" and she didn't realize it would have such a hold on you. Lol

Now if she somewhat meant this you should definitely talk to her, tell her things like that hurt (duh) and that she probably wouldn't like it very much if you flipped the script and compared her to your last girlfriend.

Whatever you decide, good luck(:

[Zimbo113]

I'm sure it was word vomit. Her ex was a complete wuss with no spine who followed her like a puppy. They dated for 2 months compared to our 16. The fact that she said it though really made me angry. I'm very careful about what I say to her, even if I am angry so I don't upset her. The fact she said that over something so little just bothers me.

[Opinion Owner]

Well you should for sure bring it up because it's understandable that it bothers you. She'll most likely apologize, that's what I would do in this case. Obviously you're doing something right though, 16 months is way more history then two:P

[sandygirl]

well,shes still your girlfriend,she's not own you already,so she don't have right to confronted you,she supposed thank you for your good treaten towards her family especially her brother,Now you still in a relationship with her but she act like a bitch.how much more if you've marry with her,?but goodluck hope she change her bad personality.,and I know you inloved with this girl that's why you let her be like this with u:) if you can't tolerate her,she became spoiled girl

[tzdc21]

Your girlfriend sounds like a controlling, manipulative, lying bitch. She went behind your back and lied about you to her brother to set you up, and then when you confront her she compares you to her ex? You had nothing to apologize for. She was completely in the wrong. If I were you, I'd tell her to NEVER do that to you again, or she's single. And if she refuses to comply then dump her ass. Why the hell should YOU have to tolerate that BS behavior, especially since you treat her with respect and consider what you say before you say something to her?

[Sayaka1202]

I think she needs to learn to stop being a bitch.

[Sayaka1202]

hahaha, I haven't said something that rude in ages. :P I think with her personality type it would be well worth bringing it up with her as she will most likely do it again. If she tries to bull-rush you again, simply stand your ground until it is resolved.

[Zimbo113]

Haha its cool. She can be a complete bitch sometimes, but I love her. Plus, its a good contrast when I act way too nice sometimes. She keeps me in check. I just get annoyed sometimes about how she makes a big deal of the smallest things and I have to sit there and make her feel better. She is so insecure >_<

[Sayaka1202]

My advice is don't pamper her too much, and stand your ground on issues, and she may get over some of her insecurities when she needs to start relying more on herself for support. Otherwise, I hope everything goes well. ^^