IS GIRL WASTING MY TIME?

[JamesAbworth]

I have a fourth date with a girl tomorrow. First 3 dates have been great, we spent whole days together, kissed a lot and on date 3 agreed we would date exclusively.

I thought we would have had sex date 3, but nothing, she lets me kiss and play with her boobs. What can I do to convince her to have sex on date 4? I really like her and it’s more than just sex, but I think sex will help develop the relationship.

Any tips?

Updates

+1 y

We had our fourth date yesterday, it was really nice, spent 12 hours together, she was out with me until 2am, yet she wouldn't sleep with me or come over. She keeps saying "she needs to know me more" or she will invite me over soon". I think she is stringing me along. Should I just give her an ultimatum and ask her if she's actually sexually attracted to me, and if so what's going on?

[PrettyPriya]

You can't convince her to do something she isn't ready for. Why do you have it in your mind that 3 dates is the magic number? Is that a rule somewhere?

Each person will be different as far as how long it takes to get to the point of intimacy. That isn't something you should rush or pressure her into.

[JamesAbworth]

Only because we almost had sex first date! And she told me she has had one night stands before!

[PrettyPriya]

@JamesAbworth That means absolutely nothing. Because you almost had sex doesn't mean she was ready to have sex. Obviously, she stopped short of that because she wasn't ready.

It is also irrelevant she has had one night stands. She doesn't owe you one because she did it before. Perhaps she sees something in you and wants to wait, though I'm not sure what she sees by your attitude.

[JamesAbworth]

Wait, so if a girl sees something in a guy, she’ll usually wait longer? Why is that?

[Fanfare690]

Because we dont want to f*co it up with a good guy! If that's all you're after then... I know its backwards but why screw things up with a good guy?

[JamesAbworth]

@Fanfare690 how would it screw thing over? I like her a lot and I told her that. Date 3 we decided to keep it exclusive now. Date 4 is tomorrow. I though sex would end up making our connection stronger. I’m not going to just run away after sex.

[Fanfare690]

Because maybe (to me) she's learned her lesson with sleeping with guys too soon. Maybe some of these guys promised her this and that and when she slept with them they went ghost. So you never know what someone is going through. Just be patient. Especially if you like her... like rushing things ruin things just be patient.

[JamesAbworth]

@Fanfare690 yeah that might be right. She also has trust issues as guys have cheated on her. I told her I would never cheat on her and that she needs to trust me. Is there anything I can do to get her to open up more?

[Fanfare690]

By being patient and being someone whose trustworthy. It doesn't come easy so patience.. again

[JamesAbworth]

@Fanfare690 what do you mean trustworthy? I already told her I’m not someone who cheats etc and I want to be exclusive with her. I know it takes time, but anything I can do now to look trust worthy?

[PrettyPriya]

@JamesAbworth The point being made here is that she doesn't owe you or anyone else sex until she is ready. Why are you so intent on pressuring her? I saw your other post where you ask advice how to manipulate her.

Why can't you just be in a normal relationship and let things happen as they may? What in the world is the rush?

[JamesAbworth]

I have strong feelings for her. I want to have sex with her as it will make our relationship stronger and it will show she is sexually attracted to me. Maybe manipulate is the wrong word, but I want her to be clingy and obsessed with me. What can I do? I thought girls with daddy issues are clingy!

[PrettyPriya]

@JamesAbworth

Ok, you can't force or pressure her into it though. You have to let her go at her pace.

by the way... this: "I have strong feelings for her. I want to have sex with her as it will make our relationship stronger and it will show she is sexually attracted to me." It comes off a bit rapey. Know what I mean if you say it back to yourself?

[JamesAbworth]

That's not what I meant. What I am trying to say is that if we have sex our feelings will grow won't they? Also, how can I tell if she is sexually attracted to me? We French kiss a lot and touch each other on thigh, chest, boobs.

[PrettyPriya]

@JamesAbworth Just because you have sex won't make the feelings grow. Think about those that are friends with benefits. They really have no feelings towards each other and hook up quite a bit.

You seem to be moving towards intimacy with the things you are doing now. My suggestion is let her set the pace and be patient. There will be no better outcome than letting her decide she is ready.

If you pressure, it could push her away.

[expdude]

How old are you anyway, 13-14? You really should have a conversation with your dad. This idea that you have that sex will help you improve your relationship is completely backwards! Your not ready to have sex with this girl. And I hope you respect her enough I not push it any further. People date various lengths before having sex, some on first date, and some or till after marriage. Just your thoughts prove you are not ready or your into it for the wrong reasons. Being intimate is an expression of love or lust between two. If it’s lust your on, just use your imagination and take care of yourself and eave this girl alone.

[ChrisMaster69]

Yeah there is this thing called Respect, tends to work wonders.

Expecting sex is really a shit way to look at a relationship.

just stick to casual pick ups if you want sex.

[Harleigh90]

Sex don't do shit. If you really like her you, wait until she's ready. Don't convince her to do anything. Have some respect and wait for her concent.

[DryGermanGuy]

I feel sorry for that woman already… 🤬

[JamesAbworth]

Why? I like her a lot!!!

[DryGermanGuy]

Your post reads „she is wasting your time for not having sex with you.“ That’s the mindset of an entitled teenager.

[Sour-rose]

*snickering* develop the relationship...

[In_Trance]

Did she say no to sex?

[JamesAbworth]

Yeah. We kiss for 20 mins and she lets me touch her boobs etc. And then I say stay over or let’s go back to my place or hotel, and she says no not yet. On the first date we almost had sex, only reason we didn’t was because I’m staying with my brother while my apartment is renovated. So I suggested hotel.

[In_Trance]

Why would she be into it on the first date and not the third? You're not children. I'd take this as a queue to move on

[JamesAbworth]

Yeah I really don’t get it! Do you think I should confront her and be like what’s going on, I like you and sex will make our connection stronger?

[In_Trance]

No I don't. I think you leave things as is and take a negative reaction to sex as your queue to leave. She would think the idea that sex will make your connection stronger is a line of crap

[Tstrbrainer]

So did you have it on the fourth?

[Tstrbrainer]

She don't owe you sex, bro, but you don't owe her a relationship either