Why does she only talk to me in real life but mot dms?

[Anonymous]

I had a big crush on a girl in college and asked her out but she was too drunk to respond.. i caught up w her now and she's taken. She doesn't respond to any friendly dms

Updates

+1 y

I dmed her and she seemed to just be nice and ignore her feelings.. but she seemed genuine about being just busy.

[HollyK21]

Because she’s being respectful of her boyfriend, and you’re not. I’m sure you wouldn’t like some guy in your girlfriends dms going back and forth with her. I think you need to stop trying to keep your foot in the door, disguising your interest as “friendly” and move on. If you get the chance in the future and you still are interested or not taken yourself then sure, slide on in. But you need to be more mindful of her relationship.

[Asker]

Makes sense. Dms are dms..

[HollyK21]

Yeah, I’d hang that up and let it go. Especially if you’ve sent more than one, I think the first time ignoring you was a big sign already.

[Asker]

I dont send anything other than "here's a job link" stuff

[HollyK21]

Oh okay, by friendly messages I assumed you meant initiating a conversation. I don’t think those messages are bad to send, but since she isn’t responding then I’d take that as a sign that she doesn’t want to engage and not send anything else. Nothing personal, I still think that’s just her being mindful of her partner.

[Asker]

Makes sense. I guess I was trying to see whats ok.. i get dms w other girls i know but its established were friends only first

[HollyK21]

Yeaaah, I just think everyone is different when it comes to that, especially if she has a boyfriend that is very hovercopter and could start an argument over anything from other guys. Given the context of what you sent I don’t think sending links for work is bad, but since you sent a few and if he saw that he could easily blow it up into something. She may think it’s just not worth the headache.

[Asker]

Just flat out asked her haha-
She laughed and said nope just busy! she's on instagram too much anyways tbw... seems like the old "im gonna laugh it off to be nice" but seemed genuine

[HollyK21]

I feel like that’s a fair response given what you send, but at the same time actions speak louder than words, and if she’s a non confrontational person then she’s going to skirt around it. But hey we can give her the benefit of the doubt I suppose lol

[Asker]

Yea i guess! I offered "lets do a meet up but with respect of course" to see if its me or something else and i got " good luck w everything"

[HollyK21]

Ahh I’ll be honest dude that wasn’t the best thing to do. I mean sending the links for work was one thing but that was kinda pushing it, no offense. Even if you were offering in a friendly way, it’s just not respectful of her boyfriend. I know mine would flip out over that lol

[Asker]

I've met him.. he's definitely one of those "she's taken care of very well thank you very much" self assured cowboy guy types

[HollyK21]

I’m not surprised tbh😅

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

She has a boyfriend, so it’s probably out of respect for her boyfriend to not respond or talk to you over text.
She might be okay with talking to you in person, but only in a friendly manner.

[TheBigWhistle]

She's already told you she was taken so she's probably wondering why is this guy still DMing me and just ignoring it. Take the hint.

[Asker]

Well we are starting out in the same field.. she said i dont answer dms only talk in person

[TheBigWhistle]

Well then you already know the answer to your question. So why are you even asking it?

[AndrésC64]

I don't know what your question is. She has a boyfriend. Leave her alone.

[Iron_Man]

I don’t know ask her