Can somebody think of themself as pretty or handsome or is that for other people to do?

Question

I have heard people say people usually don’t judge their attractiveness on the same level as other people do

OpenClose · Accepted Answer

Naw you can certainly think of yourself as pretty. The issue is in how you express this to others. If you tell yourself you're pretty, you're good. If you tell others you're pretty, that's pretty presumptive and off-putting, because you're basically telling them how they are supposed to feel about you.

Like, I think I'm a relatively good guy, and I think I'm relatively good-looking (No, I'm not actually a baby bonobo). But some people have only seen my bad side. I don't get to go to them and say "but I'm a good person". I would need to prove it, and I can only expect others to go on the evidence I provide. Or I suppose to really nail the point home, imagine me hitting on a girl by saying I'm a "nice guy". It's cringe af.

And similarly, I've got a few extra pounds and a receding hairline. I don't think either look terrible on me, though perhaps I could fill out the weight with some muscle. And I've shaved my head to get an idea of what point it makes more sense to shave it rather than keep it. And TBH I think I look kinda badass shaved. But many or perhaps most girls don't, and I don't get to tell THEM they should like me.

I suppose that would be a difference between something like confidence and arrogance. Guys certainly need to hear this, but girls do as well. Girls will cheer girls for saying "I'm the sexiest one in the room" as though it's empowering, but it's more presumptive and off-putting. Maybe girls find it attractive when guys do this, but most I know find it obnoxious.

But yeah, there's no problems in finding yourself pretty. I think that's a great thing to do, and will really help you out in the long run. Don't question a good thing that doesn't hurt others. Indulge it. You'll dodge a lot of problems many people run into. It'll help you do things like stick up for yourself, and be able to see faults in others when they present them, rather than falling into traps because you assume everyone else is right, and you're the one messed up.

I know in my case, it helps with rejection, having gained a decent amount of self-confidence lately. You start to see rejection as more of a lack of chemistry or you being an "acquired taste" rather than it being about yourself lacking value. Perhaps most girls don't find me attractive, but I'm not interested in dating "most girls". And it hasn't mattered all that much to girls I DO like.

Just love yourself, and don't expect everyone to see you the same way. You'll strike a good balance of confident and humble, which I think is a good place to be in terms of BOTH personal and social well-being.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Interesting question.

Simply put, yes they can think of themselves as pretty or handsome. Those descriptions are subjective anyway.

People who have low self esteem and don't think they are attractive automatically look less attractive to others. Plus, they are often less motivated to make their looks and/or personalities more attractive. And they usually have negative attitudes that turn people off.

On the other side of the coin, people who think they are the shit are snobby, conceited and entitled. They look down on others. Their attitudes are also a turn off even if their looks are extremely appealing.

It's healthy to look on the bright side and have self esteem. It makes those with average and even below average looks more attractive. A person can be realistic about themselves and still be attractive to others if they like themselves, are happy and pursue life to the fullest.

A big problem is the obsession with physical perfection. It makes people insecure about things they have no control over. Guys worry about their height, dick size and receding hair. Girls worry about every detail of their own bodies. Many of those insecurities are generated by beauty and fashion industry marketing.

People should work on the things they do have control over like fitness and personality. They should take pride in themselves. And, at the same time, why not stand tall and take pride in your best physical assets? You don't have to be perfect according to commercial beauty standards. Even movie stars have flaws.

Most people don't realize that other people also have insecurities. In the end, people have different tastes. There is someone for everybody as long as people clean up their own bad attitudes.

All that being said, what other people say does make a difference. Being called ugly harms one's self esteem. And being called handsome or pretty makes a person feel ten feet tall. Everyone loves being admired, even if it's by only one or a few others.

PrettyPriya · Accepted Answer

Interesting question. I think that will be completely dependent on the person, but if I had to guess, I would say pretty equal.

A lot of people judge themselves and constantly worry about the way the look, their height or weight, age, etc.

Now, that doesn't mean other people don't judge as well. I just imagine they judge as overall attractiveness and not individualize traits like you would to yourself.

Tiptoetamm · Accepted Answer

Yes you can think your pretty there's a difference between thinking your pretty and thinking you better than everyone because of your looks. I can't stand snobby people it's rude. Looks are subjective anyway so honestly everyone is pretty or handsome to someone out there

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

Nothing wrong with thinking you're attractive, as long as you still remain humble. It's true though, that people don't see themselves the way others see them. Many people are highly critical of themselves and believe they're worse than they really are, while still others are the opposite.

Phoenix-gb · Answer

It's certainly possible to have a view of yourself as being attractive, however that view can also be influenced by other people's reactions, for example being constantly rejected when it comes to dating plus poor performance on dating apps means my personal view of myself is not great.

Lookingforthetruth · Answer

Your beauty is defined by what others think of you. If you consider yourself hot stuff but are constantly getting rejected by people you want or see no one showing interest in you then you are not as hot as you think you (average to below average at best).

The only exception to this rule is when a girl is insanely hot 8-9/10+. Many guys will be too intimidated to approach in person. However, she will know she is attractive due to all the validation she get from males on social media.

Anonymous · Answer

You can know you're attractive. However, one of the social rules about being attractive is you can't acknowledge in any sort of way that you know you're good looking.

dustybiker · Answer

Nothing wrong with being happy with yourself. Happy and stable is not ego.

Guy13 · Answer

People know if they are attractive or not. A good look and bad Tude is worse than being beaten by the ugly stick…

Gaibriel · Answer

I think I'm alright. I'm not the hottest person alive but I'm also not ugly.  I'm just me

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

I think they can. I don't think of handsome or ugly. I'm just me. When someone says I'm good looking (which is rare), I say "thank you" and go on my way.

Passion_Devil · Answer

Yes you can it's normal! Or you're drunk and need to sober up

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Imagine being attracted to someone and never seeing yourself but when you do it turned out to be you

Anonymous · Answer

Of course they can, it doesn't always mean its true.

artstatues · Answer

Sure they can Looks are highly subjective

Iron_Man · Answer

I know I am handsome Others think that to

DrillBeats · Answer

Gotta love yourself first no matter what.

Anonymous · Answer

Only when I'm taking a shower.

Anonymous · Answer

Gotta love yourself first no matter what.

Can somebody think of themself as pretty or handsome or is that for other people to do?

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