Girls, Would you give up drinking if a guy you cared deeply about hinted kindly to stop?

[Anonymous]

[Little_Bumblebee]

No, I wouldn't.
I don't want to change every aspect of my life because someone doesn't condone it.

I don't see my drinking as a problem, I don't go out partying every weekend, or drink until I cannot stand up anymore.
If he wants me to stop, then I would feel like it's controlling behavior and a stepping stone to him controlling me.

[Asker]

It’s not controlling behaviour. What’s really the point to drink to begin with? There are studies it effects people in different ways. I’ve had friends who got super depressed and used that as an outlet, that’s what worries me. It’s like if you were with a guy and he’s like oh I watch porn here and there and go to a strip club with my buddies here and there. For him he may not see it as a big deal, for you it might annoy you eventually. If you find someone who is truly genuine and cares about you and loyal. Is it worth it to give it up because he doesn’t drink to? I mean sure if that’s the case it’s not destined to last anyways if you like alcohol.

[Little_Bumblebee]

It kind of is.
And where would it end?
Do I suddenly eat too many sweets? If he's a vegetarian or vegan, would I have to give up meat too?
Do I have to change my wardrobe if he doesn't like my clothes?

I see it as a problem that can be talked about if the person has an alcohol problem or drink every weekends or something like that.

But now again, I'm talking about my own consumption, and I don't see that as an issue.
If the guy I'm dating sees it as an issue, then maybe we could talk about whether or not we're compatible in life.

If you want to date someone who doesn't drink alcohol, then find someone who doesn't drink alcohol. Seems quite wrong to me to go for someoen who does, and then intending to change them.

[Asker]

Yea I get that that’s you, people can’t control it. Problem with drugs, porn, drinking, partying, even spending money on shopping needs, yes they are all different. But everyone who uses those vices will assume it’s okay. I love sneakers and I had probably like 50+ pairs. Eventually it became a bad habit, sold them, made profit off them and simplified my life. I personally can’t be with someone who drinks I would talk to them in a mature way and see where it goes from there.

Trust me, I hate controlling people. My older sister was on my case about why I’m not in university yet, why do I wear a jersey, why am I quiet, why don’t I go out more, why this why that. It became more and more annoying as I got older. Eventually I distanced myself from her because I can’t stand it. Because yeah I agree it’s annoying af when someone is rude and controlling, whether it’s a significant other, family or even a friend.

[Asker]

I did finish uni and now in grad school, my older sister never finished university. That’s the thing I’m not on her ass about it. There’s a difference between bitching/knit picking someone’s life or genuinely caring. It’s much different in my opinion when you care about someone who’s a significant other/spouse versus a sibling.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Yeah, if there's some major health problem from drinking, as I said, if it's out of hand, they drink every weekend or is addicted.

And yeah, I'm against it, the whole controlling thing, because I had an ex that changes a lot and I felt like I lost myself and it hurt so much. And now I tense up by the thought.

[Agape93]

If he gave me a good reason to do so

[Asker]

He cares about you and wants to set an example where the kids you and him have aren’t influenced.

[Agape93]

Can't have kids and I don't want kids. And caring about me is nice and all, but I need sleep and sometimes alcohol is the quickest way to unconsciousness.

[Asker]

I usually sleep better using the calm app, exercising and eating right. Trust me it works, you don’t need to drink. That’s just my input.

[Agape93]

Yeah, that shit doesn't work for me. Appreciate it, but yeah.

[IveGotNoName]

Lol I dont drink.