Why do women pretend taking care of kids is so hard?

Question

Especially small ones like from birth to age 6 they’re so easy to handle very gullible too

N192K001 · Accepted Answer

Because  taking care of children is hard without… ●  a set 2-way, mutually-beneficial hierarchy : the subordinate's good-behavior & allegiance to the superior, in exchange for superior's addressing the concerns of and providing benefits to the subordinate (for relation's structure); ●  thoroughly-internalized concept of ᜀᜊᜎ  ("abala"; "ah-BAH-lah"; n.「hassle/trouble/burden/nuisance/etc.」 and/or v. 「to impose/be hassle/trouble/burden/nuisance/etc.」)  & the considerate minimization thereof  (for minimized frustration, via mutual-benefit of mutual-consideration); ●  sufficient discipline  (as enforcement of the prior-mentioned foundational-dynamic); ●  positive attention with much affection  (as the dynamic's norm as both parties comply, and enjoy the dynamic's benefits). As a Filipino, I was familiar with ᜀᜊᜎ, and know personally that  life has much fewer hassles when everyone does their part to minimize each other's hassles . Life is much smoother, when there are fewer problems to deal-with, right? But there's a balance:  Everyone  (kids especially)  has limits, so the standard should be reasonable, but everyone must do their part for it to work. And for this to work, mutual-consideration is key. The 1st-mentioned part seemed like common-sense to me, and I didn't even know there was a term of it, until I read about Confucius. For this, the political-science philosopher coined the term 天命 (" tian-ming "; n.「Mandate of Heaven」 or more lit.「Heaven (ly) Mandate」), and observed that this is  the dynamic of functional hierarchies, from families to governments: How can children/citizens/subordinates reasonably expect to treated well as good & well-behaved if they don't play the part? How can parents/governments/bosses expect to be treated as good & well-providing when they fail to do their part?  BOTH parties must do their part for this to work! With sufficient convincing & discipline, the dynamic can become the norm. When the norm is established and maintained, issues are minimized and much affection can be given all around.

snackthatsmilesback · Accepted Answer

Because it takes a lot of time, effort, and care. Sure you may not work up a sweat every day, and you likely won't have to use a calculator or anything like that, but that doesn't mean it is easy. No one thing in particular may be very difficult, like feeding or teaching or counseling, but one thing that makes it more difficult is that many small jobs are combined for raising a child, and for most parents this is also combined with many small housework jobs 🤹‍♂️. Another thing is that every small job is around the clock 🕟, which can add up quickly, especially if you don't work well with irregular schedules or mixing work and home life. You just have to as a parent. No it's not the hardest job in the world, obviously, but it is challenging. It shouldn't be taken lightly, treated as a hobby or as a part time job. You may still get it "done" but not well if you don't dedicate appropriate time effort and care to your child. And then that's a whole human will have fucked up. 🧍‍♀️

TenderFantasy · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't say it's the most physically taxing. I don't have children myself but I agree with you.

A baby needs to be fed (easy. What can they really eat, especially if they don't have all their teeth yet? Lol). A baby needs to be changed (okay, change it and wash/wipe down there? Lol). A baby needs to be held and played with (okay do that!). A baby needs to be rocked to sleep (okay do that). Burped (okay!). Kept safe (ok). Have health insurance (okay. If you've got health insurance, then put them on as a dependent.).

I also think it depends on the age but you specifically stated between birth to 6 months so yeah, I agree, if they don't want the boob, then they probably want to be burped or to be rocked to sleep, etc. Done.

Edit: Opps you said age six. Well... once they start running after things, you gotta watch out for that. That's all. And school isn't cheap so yeah. Their toys cost money too. And so do their housing. They will after all, live with you, especially if you have custody.

Preeti161101 · Accepted Answer

Not hard I am mother and it's my duty 😊

Sour-rose · Answer

Because they don't stfu and you gotta carry the little bastards everywhere. Even when I need a drink... so yeah, it's hard.

Anonymous · Answer

When I was the ages 6,7 then 11,12 I was changing diapers and feeding and burping and watching and playing with my baby sisters as well as babies that my mother would babysit. It is not technically hard at all 💀 you're not wrong. Cause if I can't get a license until 15/16 but I can change diapers at 6... then how hard is it really. It's not that physically demanding more just one of those tasks you gotta do and sometimes it's gross if you get poop on your hand. If you have no job and your only job is taking care of the kids then you have it great lol because when they're a baby they literally sleep a lot of the time. There are problems to deal with of course if you're breastfeeding. I think the hardest parts are pregnancy itself, if you're paying for your kids yourself then it's pretty expensive, and it's a really big responsibility. But other than that it is not that hard. I just don't want kids for how expensive they are and the responsibility. But I think say, a stay at home mom has it really good especially if she has some good friends, and hobbies.

Starlight007 · Answer

Women are not pretending that being a parent is hard, because it is hard.

Taking care of an infant as a woman is no joke and some babies are more demanding than others can you imagine how hard it must be to wake up every 3 hours to breast feed, can you imagine having to bear with the sound of a baby crying 24/7...

Can you imagine how exhausting it must be to constantly hope and worry that your kid doesn't die from sudden infant syndrome, cancer, covid etc.., can you imagine the fear of leaving your child at a school, day care, parents house etc. And hope that they don't get hurt by a child predator, bullied, or harmed or shoot... do you know how many kids under 6 have been abused by family members, family friends and neighbors and random strangers...

on top of that raising a kid is hella expensive, all the dr's appointments, all the food you need to get them, the clothing because the grow quickly, school fees, toys, etc... basically having a child is hard because now you have an entire life in your hands, your taking care of a another living being while most of us out here cannot even take care of ourselves. and when you have a child you can never ever put yourself first anymore the child always need to be your top priority.

Then when a kid turns 1-2 they start being naughty, breaking stuff, injuring themselves etc. and you'll have to discipline them over and over and over again, they'll probably only stop being naughty at 6-7 that's years and years of disciplining then you have to parent your kid well and put a lot of effort into doing that so that they can grow up to become proper citizens who contribute to benefiting the world... sounds hella hard to me!. if taking care of children were easy then kids would be getting abandoned in trash cans, on the road, left at peoples door steps, put in foster care etc.

mermaidcancermoon · Answer

Honestly, this depends entirely on the personality of the child or children and how organized/patient the mother is.

Most people can have children but not all can handle them. Whether its from ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, or postpartum psychosis
those can turn little things into mountains. On the other side, there are some "demon" kids in existence who behave as though they drink red bull 3 times a day. I work with children and since theyre not all clones, each requires different amounts of attention and energy. The ones that bounce off walls or scream all day can make anyone go crazy.

Mothers and caregivers do deserve personal time. Being handcuffed to a tiny human with 0 personal time makes you want to claw your eyes out. Imagine someone following you around 7 days a week 24/7. Requesting an hour or 2 alone per day isn't "too much". At least at work we dont have someone standing at our elbows all day. There's still some space even though its tasking work. (by the way I dont have children but I do work with them)

cute_short_nerd · Answer

Because of the societal expectations that come with it makes it mentally exausting. Physically taking care of kids is easy if you know what you are doing but ladies without experience will struggle especially if the father is absent or decides to let her handle everything. Trying to cook a meal with a baby strapped to you might seem easy to you but she had to go through painful labor and is usually healing that full first year both physically and mentally. Post partum depression is a very common thing that isn't talked about enough and it often gets overlooked. The mom can feel like her body has been destroyed, the loose skin, the stretch marks, the soreness, back pain, weak bladder. In cases of a C section it can be even worse due to the fact she literally had to get sliced and diced, her organs man handled to get a baby out and it leaves her with a scar. She won't sleep a healthy cycle when that child is first born, creating physical exaustion. It isn't a problem to a male, because the chemicals in his brain didn't turn on him and whisper hurtful things in his ear about his body, or tell him he could have done better at the end of the day, living through an excruciating process. See when you decide to have a baby, that baby grows into a kid, and that kid grows into a teen, and that kid ends up turning into an adult. Eighteen years is a pretty long time and currently I can tell you exactly how much my mom suffered to raise me and my siblings, so... I wonder what the woman in your life is sacrificing to unconditionally love and teach a whole human being to be a functioning member of society and one that understands how to process situations in a rational way. It's harder than it looks, and you won't see it until you experience it through the shoes of a woman. Sorry my explanation is really long I just had a shit childhood and got told exactly how much it cost my mom to put up with my bs this long.

Subarugirl · Answer

Probably because it is difficult to have an infant dependent on you for their every need. While it may not be very complicated it certainly isn't easy. Most babies don't even sleep through the night until about 6 moths old, new born need to eat every few hours which means either getting up to make a bottle or breast feeding with painful cracked and bleeding nipples. So while you are trying to function after being in labor for 2 days and pushing a baby out of you that rips through your genitals, you're exhausted and in pain trying to care for this new life that is entirely dependent on you, all while dealing with sleep deprivation, healing, the physical and hormonal changes, PPD, all while you can't get more that 2 consecutive hours of sleep at a time for the first few months. You're changing about 12 diapers day, told not lift more than 10 pounds, so you're trying to figure out how to get your 8lb baby and it's 7lb car seat to and from the car to all the doctors appointments you've got to go to those first 6 months.
And that is the best case scenario...

As a parent you are not only responsible for your child's physical needs, but mental and emotional needs as well. Are the reaching their miles stones? Are the socializing? Do they have any special needs or delays in development? Are their behavioral issues? Do you know what to do if they have an allergic reaction or start choking?
You have to work to provide for them, but are you also spending enough time with them? Limiting their screen time and reading their books? Are they on track for their education?

Babysitting isn't that hard... being a parent is...

woman_2004 · Answer

Any woman who says it’s “hard” probably was lazy or spoiled in life.

Taking care of children is the #1 most rewarding thing in a women life. Why?

1. It’s her DNA
2. They love her unconditionally
3. They will grow up and help there her from time to time

There’s a lot responsibility taking care of a child but it’s not as hard as building skyscrapers or dealing with political issues or problems. It’s a simple job really anyone could do. Even a teenager (babysit) could do it.

Lucy68 · Answer

Taking care of babies can be hard, but to me it's going to be a labor of love. Yes there's breastfeeding but to me it'll be a bonding experience. Giving birth will be painful but I'm going to be so excited to see my little baby girl or boy. I have overnight babysat before and I will tell you it can be crazy but leaving the kids was so hard for me to do. I plan on being a stay at home mommy when my first is born so I can get up all hours of night to take care or them (my husband can help but I prefer he rest so he can be well rested for work). I love babies and kids and I'm hoping I'm able to become a mommy someday. It'll be hard but it'll be a labor of love

Anonymous · Answer

IT ISSS HARD YOU DIMWIT!!

I personally don’t have kids, but my friend who chose to have a baby at 31 has to care for her baby and work from home. And that child is always crying. The boyfriend lives with her, but he’s always working and barely sees. The baby.

Now her sister was visiting and she brought over her 2 kids (toddlers) and the 3 of them all whining and moving and doing everything. Now that looked like “HELLL”.
Those TWO mothers were FURIOUS !!

I can’t imagine the mental strain of having to put up with that as a mother. No matter how much you love your child.

I CHOSE TO NOT HAVE KIDS EVER, and this is a decision that’s been building up for years and years and years.

You should personally get a job at a preschool too see what it’s really like. Before you even say anything.

But I’m smart enough to know that once I’m pregnant. I WILL BE THE FOOL to care and deal with the little brat. Not HIM!

Specially in this day and age were everyone is F—KING and cheats on eachother.

I love to get F-KE! and I love my F—K BOYS!
I ain’t never gonna become a baby mom!

FUKKKKKK THATTTT!

Apple1996 · Answer

Are you fucking kidding me? Taking care of kids is extremely difficult. Being up all night long, breastfeeding, wiping ass, giving baths, potty training, taking them to school/homeschooling, doing their laundry, cooking food, cleaning up their messes, keeping them entertained so they dont cry, not being able to leave the house, keeping up with doctors appointments, making sure the kid is safe and healthy.
Not to mention that all these things are on top of a mom trying to care for herself/the house/husband/job/whatever else she got going on in her life.
Your really fucking full of yourself if you think being a mom is easy. It is probably the most difficult job there is.

Anonymous · Answer

For me a kid is a responsibility you have until the end of your days, even if they turn 18 as a parent you always want to make sure your kids are safe and prepared to face the world. I genuinely feel that is very hard to take care of kids because their future really depends on your decisions and don’t get me wrong…I can barely take care of myself and I would like my kid to suffer for my wrong decisions. So is a constant worry of “this kid depends on me” and last thing I would want is to bring a kid to suffer in world that doesn’t seem to be getting better.

Hürrem · Answer

Because women worry more than men do. Once worry is present, it causes stress and thinking its hard to take care of them, well especially if a mother is breastfeeding and working at same time (lack of sleep, needs to prepare food, do laundry, clean the house, etc.).
Men are more simple, worry less and just going with the flow so I guess that what makes them more easy to take care of kids 😂

sexyiluvdb · Answer

Well it all depends on if the woman also works or there is more the 1 kid or kids with some kind of disability or ADHD.
In my experience my kids are 14 months apart in age so I had 1 in a infant car seat and the other 1 on my hip. 1 in diapers and the other 1 just started in pull-ups. Worthless ass baby daddy that never helped at all. Toys was always everywhere cause as soon as I put then away they all ended right back in the middle of the livingroom. And it's even more work the older they get they become lazy assholes or bitches and want to back talk and fight you about everything. It's a never ending job being a mom and father's don't experience the job of motherhood unless they are single dads that got full custody of the kids.

HighValue · Answer

It is hard for them because they aren't as capable as men are.
Taking care of kids is easy most of the time. The only time it would be challenging is when they are new and you have to wake up in the middle of the night for them and when they can't yet bathe themselves and aren't potty trained. After that it is easy.

Just like housework is easy and doesn't take much time if someone is efficient and organized.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

@creampiekarl420
Since you think it is so easy raising kids I am going to ask so. e questions.
1. Were you the one making sure the kids had decent clothes?
2. Were you the one providing the food?
3. Were you theone making sure they had a decent place to live?
4. Were you the one taking them to their doctor appointments?
5. Did you raise any kids with major medical problems?
6. Did any of the kids need surgery and had to stay at least one night in the hospital? If they did were you there with them over night?

SaidNobodyEver · Answer

Because it’s a chore and not just that a lot of chores. People don’t like “having” to do anything. It fine when you want to do it but in the case if you’re own children you HAVE to take care of them. Is responsibility and that’s not fun. People aren’t “pretending like it’s hard.” Their job is now someone’s life. You know why that means. The work doesn’t stop until the child can do it themselves. It’s like how for a well trained dog and I don’t mean a song that doesn’t misbehave I mean trained to the point you don’t have to tell people it’s trained. Youd have to put in a few hours every day and most people don’t do that because they can just feed it, play with it and let it sleep. With humans you have to feed, play with, and let sleep, but you can skip out in making them act like people and not wild goofs. You have to put in the work. I mean animals can sleep but human babies are so stupid they can barley even put themselves to sleep.

AviatorTom · Answer

Taking care of kids is really not that hard. What makes it difficult is that it's a 24/7/365 job... you have no time for yourself.

luxxoxo · Answer

It’s not easy woman have to put themselves emotionally, physically and mentally into taking care of another human. That means before you even get to eat in the morning the baby eats first, the baby’s gets changed first, the baby needs attention first before you even do anything you need to do. Baby’s are a lot of work then that’s not all you have there terrible twos and threes raising a kid is not easy.

HopefulGuy94 · Answer

They do not pretend or as if they look or think like that. It is hard already and they definitely deserve all the good things. Being a mother is a different thing as my mother says , as men we cannot understand it just guess it if we know something about empathy ;)

Apulu_Imback · Answer

Well babies are easy to handle if you know their behavior and love them. Different babies react to different things differently and when you get to know how they are going to react then it's easy. It's all about knowing your child more. I won't say parenting is easy. It's tough but enjoyable and cute. And about men being the best parent, I believe it depends on how the caretaker is, not the gender.

maximumpower · Answer

it's not always pretending -- especially if they're working (holding down an actual job) at same time.
little kids require lots of frequent attention.
what so many DO find is that it's more of a full-time job than they initially thought, especially when it cuts into their "me" time.

Anonymous · Answer

Because they’re not just taking care of the baby, they’re juggling taking care of their partners, everyone and everything else too, and they’re not doing a half added job, they put real effort into making sure it’s forgo the best of their ability. People that want to do a good job rarely feel like they’re doing enough. Those that aren’t too bothered though often aren’t great. They are many other angles to this too but that’s just my thoughts on it.

Bluewater31610 · Answer

I don't think it is pretending --- being a skilled child care provider comes naturally for some --- others are almost clueless --- making it frustrating and difficult. Does not mean a person can not learn these skills. But, I count devotion and desire as more than a skill -- it seems to me, they are character traits.
For me -- I love young children -- they are the light and a joy to my life.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

It is hard…

I am the oldest cousin. I have like 9-10 younger cousins.

4-5 out of them grew up in front of me and often stayed with me. I just acted like a nice older cousin and yet, It takes a huge energy to take care of them even if you are not a parent with full responsibility over them.

TheFlak38 · Answer

Women always play the victims in order to gain a position of power. They have the entire system rigged in their favour and their private army of white knights to support them. All they have to do is post on social media "I'm so sad. Please help me."

peedy · Answer

So she feels equal to the man/father for going out and busting his ass in the hot humid scorching sun all day everyday at a job he hates to bring home the money for shelter food clothing etc
Because he loves her and the baby and would happily do anything for. them and he wants is a hot meal and a back rub

PatriceONeal · Answer

Women lack real accomplishment and struggle in their life. So they make up their own.

LeeannaDD · Answer

I wouldn't say its hard. But. Its definitely stressful. It may not be physically tough, but mentally...

Avicenna · Answer

Because taking care of kids IS hard. They aren’t pretending. Take it from a father if four kids.

Paul09 · Answer

Yeah ok. Kids have do much more energy than parents, or adults. When I play with my friends kids, I'm definitely super tired that night. Real question is why do you need so many kids?

LimitedBenefits101 · Answer

Let's be honest it's the easiest job on earth all u do is take care of the kid or the kids  dont see how that is hard at all  but then again most women are lazy so thats that

Blackcosmo · Answer

Taking care of kids is not easy. But parents love them so it really doesn't matter.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s hard when you have other stuff to do too (I imagine as I don’t have kids yet). Also the noise and crying. And it might be boring after some time. At least after 6 one can teach a child something like help them with homework or write and draw. But a baby just looks at you and cries.
Or getting ready to go somewhere. You have to get ready yourself and get ready the child which requires double the time.

Jamesshinobi · Answer

because they are selfish by nature and children being more important then tham is hard, if not impossible to accept.

Brokenheartedx · Answer

Ask a single parent whose male if he finds it hard to raise a small child, he will face the same dilemmas and problems that women do raising them and then come back and ask if its hard raising kids.

ILOVEBEAUTY · Answer

Fucking breeders... Of course a male too. Try giving birth, spending thousands of dollars over 1 kid. Your babysitting is NOT the same as having your own Kindly drink bleach.

Anonymous · Answer

Women like to pat themselves on the back for basic shit so they feel like they accomplish things without doing the actual hard work.

Anonymous · Answer

Lol kids are hard to deal with, they shit and you have to buy them food, they disobey, they go through all your money.  Woman are justified to feel that taking care of kids is hard.

shaysh87 · Answer

how about the reality that over 90% of single parents are women?  how are men better parents now?

Anonymous · Answer

they are selfish pieces of shit so to them its hard  cause everything is hard for them  they are mentally weak

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

Lmao. Tell me you've not had kids, haven't cared for kids, or interacted with them in any significant way for hours, without saying so.

Anonymous · Answer

Where is this included talk coming from? You never raised children at all, I can tell.

IsoUser · Answer

To be perfectly , I just try to wrangle my kids into one area then ask them what would you like for breakfast lunch and dinner

OddBeMe · Answer

I think the important issues are: 1) maternal leave and job security 2) affording daycare etc..

Bubbles16 · Answer

We're not pretending taking care of a human is not as easy as people think it is

NikkiChainz · Answer

This is definitely a troll post. This person is high as hell if they believe what they’re saying. Not to mention kids that are on the spectrum. Nothing about raising kids is easy, but literally every one knows that, and you’re clearly being a jackass here lol

bubblegunnn · Answer

*sigh..  >>> go read female comment

Wubs3000 · Answer

Because they are. You are 22 assuming you dont have a kid, how would you know? I don't have a kid but I will take peoples word that do have kids.

Anonymous · Answer

Become a single parent then

DiamondsReal · Answer

Because it's a big responsibility. You have to work and bring food home. And that's a lot especially when your the only mom taken care of em.

lofii · Answer

Because they wanna go out and live their best life

katiesmuff · Answer

Just a ignorant TROLL out here this morning trying irritate the ladies this morning.

_deeznuts · Answer

because it is hard lmao i can barely handle babysitting a kid- i swear to god they refuse to sleep and still have th energy of a fucking kangaroo.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

Lol, your like bozo the clown, we just need to get you a rainbow costume.

slatyb · Answer

Yes, but they are also very needy. Particularly newborns who require care 24/7.

NobodyXox · Answer

Do you have kids?

Redstang88 · Answer

I sure as hell wouldn’t wanna do it

TexasRed95 · Answer

You have obviously never actually taken care of a kid.

driven159 · Answer

Some are I was a holly terror when I was little

Whatever2929292 · Answer

The same reason as men do it. It is hard work

Why do women pretend taking care of kids is so hard?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do stay at home moms act like their life is too hard?

Why do women pretend taking care of kids is so hard?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do stay at home moms act like their life is too hard?

We're glad to see you liked this post.