How come girls think men and women are equal but if the relationship doesn't progress it's the man's fault?

[chris_987]

If a guy doesn't approach a girl or kiss her. How come men are responsible for leading the relationship. Non of that sounds like men and women are equal.

[shyman87]

This may only apply to me but, I disagree. If I know I'm doing something wrong, I will talk to him about it and tell him I'm sorry. And if he believes that the relationship can still work regardless of each others flaws that is what matters. If you truly love each other, you can work through each other's own interests and even make your love for each other even stronger.

I disagree that men and women can't be equal. If we all set aside our differences, and listen to what each other have to say instead of talking over one another, we can all be equal. You don't have to feel as though it's your fault all the time. Women and men have to understand that at times both sides are wrong, and they have to learn to forgive each other.

"He said, she said" is not the answer! We all have to realize that when we're wrong we're wrong no matter what your opinion is! You have to honor both of your wishes. That is the point of a relationship.

So, no. It is not always the man's fault. We women are wrong at times, too.

[chris_987]

If you ask most they would say a lot of women have a issue with taking blame. And I would say most of the relationship I've been in, those women would say it my fault of things didn't progress, because I was shy and I'm not anymore. But because I know have confidence doesn't that mean I was always responsible for how the relationship progressed? If now when I talk to women they have the benefit of being with a confident man

[shyman87]

@chris_987 I'm sorry that has happened to you, but just know that not all women think this way. I believe that these women just wanted the most out of you (as in gifts and your time), and not that you would go for extreme lengths to give them the best treatment they deserve. If all they want is for you to spend money on them, then they aren't right for you. The ideal partner is supposed to love you no matter if you have money or not which dubs the saying "for richer or poorer".

[chris_987]

But most women want security, so there always judging a man by his provision. Men don't judge women the same way so how can we be equal.

[shyman87]

You're absolutely right. I just really don't see why we can't just see each other as equals.

[chris_987]

We expect different things from eachother, which is ok but if women don't feel like being traditional anymore, but still want traditional men. Then that's where we will have issues.

[Kori1236]

I mean in most of my relationships I was the one to initiate. First meeting, first kiss etc.. and it got to the point where I made all the decisions and I don’t like that. I don’t like thinking for two people. Input is needed and validated. So if I’m the one that has to make all the decisions, lead the relationship and he’s not pulling his weight in that regard then why do I need him. What do I need him for?


I want a partner, I want someone to make decisions with. It shouldn’t be all up to one person (yes there are some decisions that are solely the individuals). And yeah there are differences between men and women, what one is capable of while the other may not be, but I’m not going to be subservient to a man; in my opinion that’s disrespectful to me. So equal partners, equal decisions, everyone’s happy.

[chris_987]

But flip that scenario around, there are guys that lead the relationship and never thought that they don't need there girl anymore. So it looks like nature design women to be depend and men and for me to rise to that occasion.

I read about understanding women and the author made a claim that men want to win and life and be the hero. So is taking care of a girl and being responsible for her wellbeing is natural to us because we want to win in relationship. Whereas you guys don't want to save men you want to be saved by men.

[Kori1236]

There are guys that lead the relationship yes that is their choice because their goal is to be that hero, to be that saviour. But not every dude is like that, my brother just broke up with a girl because all she did was leech. It started out good, but she quit her job made no move to find another one, which means she stopped paying rent and contributing. At that point all she’s good for to him is sex. If she’s not contributing to the relationship in any other way then why should he keep her around.

Say I’m in a relationship, yeah it’s nice for him to rise to the occasion on occasion. But it’s doesn’t have to be a constant. I don’t need a man to save me, I don’t need a hero. Now I’m sure there are plenty of women who want to be saved. Who want a man to take care of them and to them I say all the power to you, but I just do not want a traditional relationship.

[chris_987]

Well any guy would leave if he didn't feel appreciated, but feeling appreciated wouldn't be enough for a girl. I doubt you would have stayed in a relationship with a guy you had to lead but he appreciated you. Guys and girls just have different roles

[chris_987]

And I would argue that every woman wants a man to save her. Because everytime there is an issue that affects women, women ask the men to help there cause.

[Kori1236]

I feel like it depends on the situation. For me personally 90% of the time I will ask one of my friends because the man I otherwise would ask passed away. Every other man in my life (including my brothers) are pretty much useless when it comes to helping me with most things. Globally sure if there’s an issue we will ask men for help. I do agree that there are different roles, but I don’t agree that every woman wants a man to save her. Everyone is different in their likes and dislikes. But I also grew up in a situation where the only one I could rely on was me; so there is a reason I don’t need a man to save me

[chris_987]

I say most women because I look at the language women use when ever they feel threatened. It's always "men need to protect women". You women say that if you felt like you could protect yourself from men. Even there recent abortion bill that was past. Women who where pro abortion thought it was necessary to tell guys they need to fight for women's rights too. Why? If you truly don't need men then why are you constantly asking for there help. I think the idea that women don't need men for anything is just a coping mechanisms to avoid the uncomfortable untruth that women by enlarge rely on men. But men are built to provide for women, so a women can get way more out of a man if she makes him feel like she need him. Men literally die for women like that.

[Kori1236]

No one’s saying we don’t need men as a whole let’s eradicate them from the species. We’re just saying in this day in age we don’t need men we choose men. We choose to have a man in our lives not because we need him but because we want him.

The whole abortion thing is it affects men too; so men not caring about it kind of screws them too. I know plenty of men that don’t want kids and would shit themselves if it was illegal where we are. So yeah having men step up to oppose that right being given to the state instead of ourselves shows that men do understand; or at the very least try to understand.

Now you have to remember women are not a hive mind. I don’t speak for others I’m speaking for myself. I don’t need a man to make my life better. I choose to have someone in my life to share it with, as my equal partner. I’m not subservient to him.

[chris_987]

I saw women are a hive mind, a small example of this is that women go to the clubs together and if they see a guy they like they will discuss among there friends whether or not he's a good guy. That is literally the definition of a hive mind. Women have always relied on external factors for there safety. But I think most women aren't aware of any of it so it hard to have discussion about objective truth.

[Kori1236]

They’d actually be more likely to discuss if he’s attractive or not. And each person has a different perspective on that topic.

Hive mind is a notional entity consisting of a large number of people who share their knowledge or opinions with one another, regarded as producing either uncritical conformity or collective intelligence.

Uncritical conformity means they do not judge whether someone or something is good or bad, right or wrong, before supporting or believing them.

Collective intelligence means gathering raw information from many different sources.

Now if you need it spelled out further women all have different opinions on different things.

[chris_987]

Why are you discussing if he's attractive. Why are you not able to make judgments by yourself. Are you unaware that your proving my point about woman having a hive mind. Do you think men go to clubs and rely on there friends input about a girl he's interested in. No because where not threatened by female so we don't need to discuss anything further about them. As the weaker sex women find strength in numbers so there definitely have a hive mind.

[Kori1236]

You’re proving that you don’t understand what a hive mind is you know that right? Why do guys go to the club with their buddies? For the same reason women do. Now unlike dudes women like to discuss things. We talk about everything, I’m sorry you’re not close to your buddies I guess if you can’t understand why people would discuss things. Now I’m done wasting my time on someone who either is not mentally capable of comprehending what many people have already said or who chooses to remain willfully ignorant to seeing a different perspective. Have a good one bud.

[chris_987]

Well if you look at every discussion I've had with women in this thread you'll see that they've ended the conversation with exact same sentiment, so you claim I can't comprehend what you've said but you've literally just don't the same thing women always do when a man doesn't agree. So even through your actions you've proved women have a hive mindset.

[Mia-Wallace]

1. We aren't equal. Not just as sexes, but as individuals too.

2. We have equal opportunities under law

3. Your premise is false.

4. But it *can* be true that relatively more women try to escape their responsibilities and hide their role in the failure of their relationships. But again, that depends on many factors like education, mental health, culture, upbringing etc. If all girls around you are like that, you're probably living in a shit place.

[chris_987]

But I would argue most women don't know there roll in a relationship or in an interaction, that's why it always seem one sided and unfair. Like if I'm a guy and I build up enough confidence to do all the things guys want from a guy, what are girls doing to make themselves more appealing to men that makes them want to stay with these girls.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I've been the one to lead relationships every time. It's one more reason I refuse to date cishet white men - they're just not able to take initiative. They're too used to everything being done for them.

Men have been the stopping block for my relationships every time. I'm already ready, but they're still dragging their feet, or lying, or cheating.

The men fuck themselves over, and I leave.

[chris_987]

Lol that's sounds farfetch. But I want to know how are you meeting these men and what's the longest relationship you've been in.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Lol, farfetched?

Bro you don't get to know anything about me. Byeeee~ ♥️✌🏽

[LazerBean]

They are equal in inherent human value. But no matter what society says we are also still inherently and genetically wired for our gender roles, and people who do not embrace their gender roles, at least to some extent, will fail to thrive.

[chris_987]

What are women's gender rolls

[Lexi_87]

When it comes to opportunities, work, education etc.. we are equal (to a point)
but the problem these days is that Some women say they want to be 100% but then get mad when their male partner treats them as an equal. Which is just confusing.

[chris_987]

It's only confusing because women inherently known there not equal to a man. That's why there expectations of us are so high, if they thought we where the same they would expect the same thing that there bring. But no girls who are short want a tall guy. Girls who are shy want a confident guy, and so on.

[Lexi_87]

I completely understand and can see why men find it confusing.
Sadly today's society people are obsessed with gender roles. Like if a woman wants to be a house wife or stay at home mom while the husband works. It's seen as a bad thing. If the man earns more than the woman again its a bad thing and puts a lot of unescorted pressure on a woman and that pressure is then put onto her partner

[chris_987]

I guess that's why men go to different countries where women aren't raised to believe there the same as men. And the men fall in love with them, because they can actually treat a man like he is different and they can't appreciate the differences. Where as women here can't appreciate the differences because they been told anything a man can do you can do better. Which leads women to believe there supposed to be in competition with a man.

[shaysh87]

why are women responsible for giving birth and not men?

why are women responsible for giving up their careers to raise kids but not men?

talk about unfair.

[chris_987]

If a man stayed at home will you went to work to take care him and the children that relationship wouldn't last very long. No woman want a tall confident man just so she can take care of him.

[shaysh87]

@chris_987

if a man wanted a woman to be a leader, the relationship wouldn't last either. Its not in a woman's nature to lead

[chris_987]

That's my point, you can't complain that a man has to work to provide for his wife and kids while a woman stays at home. When you know the opposite of those roles reversing wouldn't work.

[shaysh87]

@chris_987

thats right. so you can't complain about a man having to approach women and initiate conversations.

[chris_987]

It's a complaint if you think men and women are equal, so how can we be equal if nut in you and you get pregnant and I can just leave. That not equal hell the fact the penis is going into a vagina isn't equal. But men are the ones saying where equal, women are that's why men can join women sport and no girls fight against it.

[shaysh87]

@chris_987

men and women were never equal. Over 90% of single parents are women. Women are more likely to be under poverty than men. Women get paid less than men. Women need to give up their careers in order to raise their children. Women need to do more with less time : working 9 hours a day then having to rush home to do child care and most of the housework. Women commit less crime YET, are more often targeted as victims of crime due to them being seen as the weaker sex.

men and women are not equal and its women who get the shorter end of the stick.

[chris_987]

The shorter end of what stick? Men have it way worst than women when it comes to life. You can even compare a protected class to a disposable class. But tbh most girls aren't ready for that conversation.

[shaysh87]

You don't even need to go through childbirth or pain of menstruation every month. you don't raise your children. you don't pay child support. you get to impregnate as many women as possible without being called a slut. Bad mothers are persecuted while bad fathers are not.

how is your life harder?

[chris_987]

Ok well for starts not every male is guaranteed to reproduce. That's because men are responsible for learning how to court a woman and if you can't do that then no sex for you. So more men are virgins than women now and that's actually been proven. And let's just say you did get to the point where your not social awkward with women and can get sex. If you mess up and choose the wrong girls you can pay child support and alimony. Every where I've worked I've always see some guy that was barley hold it together because his wife was entitled to 50% or more of his paycheck. Women say they've never see that but women don't even work in jobs where it Majority men, so yeah

[shaysh87]

less than half of all women get child support. at the end, it the women who suffer.

[chris_987]

So you'd rather be man than a woman because we're so privileged?

[shaysh87]

if i had children, i'd want them to be male because the life of a female is significantly harder than a male. its been this way since the start of humans.

do you realize females dying during childbirth was an extremely common way women died 200 years ago? out of every 10 mothers , 4 of them would die while birthing a baby.

[chris_987]

200 years ago? Men as young as 16 had to go to war. We can do the oppression Olympics all you want but I'd rather go to bed

[shaysh87]

@chris_987

men should go to war. because men start wars. women don't start wars. women don't commit crime either. if men start the war, they should die in the war.

[chris_987]

Most women are in jail for crimes they did with or against men

[shaysh87]

significantly more men commit crime than women.

[chris_987]

My point was woman look for men to lead them. So if they follow a criminal then they end up in jail, that's why most women that are in jail are there because they feel in love with I guy that's a criminal. You might not be smart enough to understand why that significant, so I'll spell it out for you. Men are independent of women that's why we don't look for women to lead us, women are not that why everything they do is for male attention.

[shaysh87]

women don't go to jail. only men do.

[chris_987]

Lol so intelligent

[shaysh87]

how does it feel to get "owned" by a woman?

[chris_987]

I wasn't aware I did, maybe I'm not intelligent

[kylee2437]

Because men and women aren’t equal , but men and women should single handily be allowed to live a life they want to live without the outside world intruding.

[chris_987]

Well most critisms comes from women, if I'm in a relationship with a girl and I don't make a move on her, she won't feel bad that she doesn't have the confidence to lead the relationship, she'll feel turned off that I don't have the confidence to make a move. So she not blaming herself for being shy. But will blame the guy for not being confident.

[kylee2437]

@chris_987 maybe that depends on from women to women, but if two people aren’t making the move it’s because both of them are shy.

[chris_987]

I would say most people are shy, but do you think a would man who is shy, should want a man who has confidence. Especially if most have to build there confidence, and most women don't.

[kylee2437]

@chris_987 actually most women do need to build their confidence otherwise they will only attract men that want sex/ won’t carry valuable boundaries in their life when it comes to men.

[chris_987]

How would a shy girl fall for a guy that only wants sex? I don't think a girls ability to discern if a guy only wants them for sex is based on her confidence.

[kylee2437]

@chris_987 actually it is based on confidence because you are supposed to disassociate from men that don’t value you and believe it or not, many women have issues with doing so because lack of confidence.

[chris_987]

Naww according to tik Tok it's both confident women and shy women that have issues with guys that won't commit

[kylee2437]

@chris_987 the difference is confident women won’t put up with men that don’t add value to their life vs women with low self esteem tend to tangle themselves in men that don’t do anything for them , also tik tok is not a valuable source to know if someone is confident or not

[chris_987]

Are you confident.