Is it stupid to block a guy Without warning because you caught feelings and know that it’s not going to go anywhere?

[Hawaiikai]

[kylee2437]

Eh I mean blocking definitely gets the message across but it also avoids responsibility of communication with someone at the same time. If you don’t want to communicate, I guess you could block but why not communicate before giving up completely? If you don’t like what you are seeing from that person, why not give them feedback so for the next person they don’t repeat the same behavior? You have a choice to do what you would like, but being grown up and take accountability is also not avoiding communication

[GingerGuy]

It also gives the wrong message.

[Hawaiikai]

@GingerGuy what do you mean?

[GingerGuy]

"blocking gets the message across", not the message she wants to give. He doesn't know how she feels, just the actions. Just reverse it and what would you think, without knowing how that person feels, just that they've blocked you. You know?

[BrandonMarvel]

@GingerGuy facts

[kylee2437]

@gingerguy which is why I said it’s immature to ghost and block however if you don’t care about reputation or feelings and want nothing to do, it’s up to you to be childish, is it right? Probably not but life goes on for that person too

[Hawaiikai]

@GingerGuy I get it. I guess I didn’t give enough context to the reason why I blocked.

[Hawaiikai]

It’s a friends with benefits that’s why

[kylee2437]

@Hawaiikai in reality you can do what you would like but it’s the difference of if you want to burn a bridge or not. You should probably exercise the friend part of things and express you aren’t into that kind of relationship anymore

[Hawaiikai]

That is true. I guess in my mind also it wouldn’t matter to him because it’s nothing serious and I’m the one that caught feelings. Also I have realized that this kind of situations (friends with benefits) are just not for me. You are pretty right tho. We’ve only been talking for a couple of months prior so we don’t really know each other that well. We get along well though.

[kylee2437]

@Hawaiikai I mean you don’t necessarily have to say you caught feelings, but you never ever know how he is feeling. Just reach out and say you aren’t feeling the friends with benefits situation anymore and it isn’t really for you. You never know what may come out of it

[Hawaiikai]

You are def right! Thank you 💜

[Anonymous]

If there was some kind of friendship there, yes. Or even just in general. Like reversed it. If he did that to you for the same reason, but told you nothing, what would you think? That's what he's thinking. If you've told him why you're blocking him, then that's different, but otherwise it's a bit selfish. It's ok if you need to distance yourself from him, but TELL him that, don't just block or ghost. Then he won't wonder WTF?

[D_Bone_Steak]

The only time I've been blocked like that... we've already been past the sex part, but then the block comes. EVERY SINGLE TIME IT HAPPENED, I would come to find out she had a man.

So I guess the cheating sex stuff was fine, but if I started texting too much, that's when the chick is done.

[TheMajesticKing777]

You don't gotta block someone to stop talking to them but I guess it's the best choice if you don't want to confront them about how you feel.

[Hawaiikai]

Honestly I’m just very sensitive and insecure

[TheMajesticKing777]

At least you are gonest

[TheMajesticKing777]

Honest

[Anonymous]

Yeah. I get her wanting to protect herself. But I think it's a very sad existence to block somebody because they MIGHT hurt you. And that's not even them hurting you. That's your inability to accept reality.

[Hawaiikai]

In this context, it’s a friends with benefits situation. In my eyes, I feel like I’m doing nothing wrong but then I feel bad for doing it which I know I Shouldn’t if that makes sense.

[Hawaiikai]

Also I get what you mean about reality part. I’m accepting that it will never lead to anything more then what I want

[Hawaiikai]

But then again I shouldn’t feel the need to go out of my way to block someone and just accept the reality. I get that part what you mean! Kind of like I’ll be in denial in later situations in life, and I should just learn to be a human and accept yeah? I’m just blocking it so I don’t get myself in to deep of what can never be.

Sorry I sound crazy.

[Opinion Owner]

No it doesn't sound crazy. Sometimes we fill deeper for someone then they feel for us. Love is almost never completely equal. And as I said I get you wanting to protect yourself. I've cut off women who liked me but didn't love me before. It's not that I hated them. But they didn't get, (even when I told them) or just didn't care, that they kept twisting the knife. I had to stop interacting with them. Yeah it made them mad. But I had to do it to protect me.

[Hawaiikai]

Yes I try to move on with out any bitterness in Me or anything. But protecting myself it a big yes. I think everyone or a hand full of people do it. It’s natural human instinct I believe! Yes just wanting what they want with out consideration to what you might be feeling is pretty selfish and rude. Another reason why for me. I literally thought I was acting like a child. My
Most day to day I do accept things and stuff like that. But for Theese kinds of situations, (friends with benefits) i tend to be more sensitive. I just realized it’s not for me and what I want. I know what I want now. I could do it before but now I’m just older and secure with knowing with what I want

[Opinion Owner]

Well I'm trying to read your question without judgement. I think a friends with benefits is always a bad move. Call me old fashioned but that is the last thing a person should ever discover about you. IMHO I think that's where you made your mistake. Glad you seem to agree. Treat it as a live and learn moment and try not to repeat it.

[Hawaiikai]

Yess thank you!

[Anonymous]

"Women are great communicators and are so emotionally intelligent" - every woman on earth

Lol.

[FilmGuy93]

sounds pretty stupid, yeah.

[Hawaiikai]

What makes you say?

[FilmGuy93]

Because one of my main life philosophies is that you should never slam a door shut in your own face. You're just assuming the answer is "no" instead of giving things a try on the off chance they might work out.

[Hawaiikai]

I never gave any more context. It’s a friends with benefits.

[FilmGuy93]

I figured it was an friends with benefits. That really doesn't change anything.

[Hawaiikai]

That is what I mean.

[Hawaiikai]

I guess from my view stopping it before i get in way more deep then I already am

[FilmGuy93]

I know. You're just trying to protect yourself. I get it, I really do! I think it's a smart thing to do, in many cases. I think that romantic relationships are just the kind of thing that you have to be willing to shoot your shot.

[Hawaiikai]

That is true. Sure we never had a talk about it or anything and about why it should stop but I guess that’s just my way of doing it. Eventually when he finds someone else I’m sure it’ll stop. In my normal day to day life, I’m mature and can talk about things and accept things more but situations like this I tend to be more sensitive. And I feel stupid because I agreed to go through with the situation. I can’t change The fact that I made that decision about getting into one of these situations. I just one of the things I can take from that is that these kinds of things are just not for me and I know what I want in life. I just never knew that I would catch these kind of feelings. It was so unexpected.

[FilmGuy93]

FWIW; a lot of people think they can do the whole casual sex thing, but they rarely ever can. I'm not sure why that lifestyle has become so popular, but most people just can't handle it.

[Hawaiikai]

Yes totally! And I don’t like the feeling of being “used”. More likely then not, it usually just all about the benefits and not so much the friends part

[FilmGuy93]

I prefer being genuine friends before also having benefits. Most friends with benefits situations I've seen appear to be between people who basically wouldn't otherwise talk, which I think is very sad. I want to have sex with someone that I can invite to the cook out later, or someone I could see spending an entire morning snuggled up on my couch.

Men and women are supposed to have a certain tenderness for each other. I think that having sex with someone and then telling them to leave after seeing them in their most vulnerable is really disrespecting that tenderness.

[Hawaiikai]

I totally agree! Someone that I can trust! But on my part being so emotional and sensitive and empathetic, I think it would be hard for me to let go. But then again, everything doesn’t last forever. Sometimes even if things didn’t work in my favor of what I expected it to be, I look back and I try to take the positive from it and just remember the good aspects and the good parts! I think it’s also a reminder that I need to focus on bettering my self and feeling secure with myself and self worth. But yes also not wanting to just be kicked out to the curb like a piece of trash

[FilmGuy93]

Best of luck!

[Hawaiikai]

Thank you! 💜

[driven159]

Not block him just tell him it's not going anywhere

[Hawaiikai]

I think it’s the whole I can’t accept it part. But I think down the line I’ll accept it and naturally forget about it

[chris_987]

Girls do it all the time, so who cares what men think