"Intimacy Anorexia": What do you think about the concept in this video?

[Jamie05rhs]

Have you ever been in a relationship with or dated someone who has done this?
Have you ever done this?

https://youtu.be/1OyhKVrvOK4

Updates

+1 y

In case anyone is confused, this is NOT talking about Sex!! 🤦

[AmandaYVR]

Well I listened to that whole video for you, Jamie. But I really have no thoughts about it. I don't really like the term he's using, adding "anorexia" in there. But that's just semantics.

This type of person who does this, whether knowingly or not, sounds very frustrating. I probably, honestly, just wouldn't stick around for something like this. Maybe way back in my early twenties, when I was still coming to terms with figuring people out (guys especially), but the me now wouldn't stick around, no. I gravitate towards honesty, vulnerability, authenticity. It's super appealing, endearing, and interesting to me. If someone's never going to get there, I just lose interest. For the person who falls in love with someone who is this withholding, good luck with that. That's a long road to hoe.

[Jamie05rhs]

@AmandaYVR I completely agree with you. And that's why I brought it up. I've actually seen this phenomenon manifest itself quite a lot in modern days. I'm not sure what the root reason is; maybe it's different things for different people. But I don't think it's healthy, and it seems almost impossible to develop a true relationship when this type of thing is being practiced.

[AmandaYVR]

Yeah, the interesting aspect here is if the phenomenon is in an upward trendline.

I've seen qs, like one just this week, asking if more young girls are turning lesbian or bi because of the way guys are now. I obviously don't have an answer for that and delving into the psyche of the still-figuring-themselves-out could be quite the journey in patience, but what we can say is that being withholding, and a decision or inability not to be vulnerable, are fear-based. And though some are aware, they feel it's just good common sense, logical, to be this way, as experience has taught them it's apparently the best strategy going forward.

And I don't doubt that's there's lots of rotten people out there, or the ratio of rotten:good in them is pretty bad, so it's everyone's prerogative to not get themselves into a similarly shitty situation again.
But it still does make you wonder - are there more people treading over others' hearts, or are there more people who are gun-shy as a result, and are so closed up and closed off now, that the good people can no longer get a foot in the door. Which just confirms the first person's mistrust.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yeah.

Wow- Interesting! I didn't see that question, but it certainly is something to think about.

Yeah. Fear-based for sure.

Yeah. Really good question. I think that everything in the universe is connected, and there are unintended consequences for all actions, which unfortunately often do include collateral damage.

[Apple1996]

That would be shitty to be in a relationship where the other person is withholding intimacy. I hear about it often but thankfully hasn't happened to me yet. There are other issues in my relationship tho but that's just part of being in a relationship there are gonna be issues the couple needs to works through. I guess for some people those issues are this.

And honestly not sure how a couple even gets to this point like a relationship without loving each other is just a friendship. I imagine they'd notice the signs before it got bad but I don't know what other people do so can't tell you.

[Jamie05rhs]

They probably just substitute sex. They keep the relationship alive through sexual "bonding."

[Apple1996]

That would drive me nuts. I need real sex to be happy lol

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 You mean sex with intimacy; right?

[Apple1996]

Yess of course with intimacy

[Jamie05rhs]

Lol. That's what makes it "real.". ☺️👍

[goaded]

https://www.healthline.com/health/relationships/intimacy-anorexia

"Anorexia nervosa is an often life threatening eating disorder. Intimacy issues can be serious, but they’re not life threatening.
Weiss suggests people experiencing intimacy anorexia have chosen to withhold intimacy. No one chooses to have an eating disorder or other mental health condition."

It's an interesting read.

[Jamie05rhs]

@goaded Fair point. It should have been called something else. I think he just chose the work "anorexia" to get a point across, because it's "catchy."

[Anonymous]

I really hope that doesn't happen with me. That'd really, really suck. The primary reason I'd get into a relationship is intimacy. I want to know I'm valued, and I heavily crave physical contact which they'd likely withhold. Also, I'd probably assume they don't like me.

[Jamie05rhs]

I agree.

[Jamie05rhs]

My advice to you is if someone treats you that way, then break up with them.

[Andres77]

Nope... but other toxic behavior would pop in

[Jamie05rhs]

Like what?

[Andres77]

Cheating, controlling behavior, treating me like property and spending everything I make, condemning me for my past before I even knew her, using her kids to manipulate me.

[Andres77]

And then want sex but how can you want to enjoy intimacy when every waking second she could misinterpret a word and go the fuck off and cause more trouble.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Andres77 Dang. I'm sorry, man. I'm glad you were able to leave those relationships.

[Andres77]

Thanks, but I've written plenty about how things have gotten better. I'm in a good place.
I got married too young against the better judgement of many around me. I was young stubborn and I paid it. It's all better now.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Andres77 Noted. I'll make sure I avoid that.

[gizemlibayan34]

Merhaba yazar mısın bana

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I'm afraid I'm that person, in those cases. But in my defense, it's a chemical thing and not something that I can really change without taking "supplements".

[Jamie05rhs]

@Sun_Kim-Ai Why do you think that is, though? Do you feel that you cannot trust anyone?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Somewhat. I get uncomfortable in those situations. Often I feel better alone.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Sun_Kim-Ai Oh.

[DJaQueef]

A vile upper decker, reverse kanga, Cleveland steamer or warm Carl would be in order.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DJaQueef Can you please not today?

[DJaQueef]

Sorry

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks

[msc545]

This is more of a marketing concept for this guy than anything else. There is no need to make up technical labels for a very common issue that everyone knows about already.

[Jamie05rhs]

@msc545 It's nice to have a word to describe it, though.

[msc545]

Perhaps although I think it is a misuse of a technical word in this case.

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. You may be right there.

[Fuentes]

I'm not a touchy Feely person unless I'm fucking but no way would I Date anyone that don't fuck lol eventually I'm dumping them or divorcing.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Fuentes This isn't about sex, bro.
Watch the video lol.