Why Do Anorexics/Bulimics Get Sympathy But Obese People Do Not?

[Anonymous]

I've always wondered this and never asked anyone. But why is that if someone is anorexic or bulimic, they need help and encouragement, but if someone is addicted to food and obese, they're fat, a shame to society, and don't deserve to breathe? Food addiction is still an eating disorder and just as hard to overcome as anorexia and bulimia, so why are they treated so differently?

[BuchitaBuchys]

I've always wondered this too.

But I guess here are some reasons, let me preface this by saying I don't necessarily agree with them, it's just what I've observed:

1. Fat acceptance movements- They seem to be happy with their eating habits and body. And as much as we'd like to help them, there's just too much resistance, even going so far as to make false statements like Healthy At Any Size (complete rubbish as either end of the spectrum is incredibly dangerous). You can't help someone who doesn't want to change.

2. Binge or emotional/compulsive eating is fairly new. Hell, even anorexia and bulimia are fairly new mental disorders, and even the study of any mental disorders are fairly new. Let's not forget about a century back, people with mental illnesses were literally having their brains poked at with ice picks or whatever.
Binge eating is a very recent classified disorder, so to the person who's never heard of it, they might just think that obese person lacks self control.

3. Being underweight just looks more "sad", I think it subconsciously brings up those starving kids in Africa or whatever. And they can't help their thinness, they lack resources. Remember that food abundance is also a fairly modern thing. This is why it use to be more attractive in days of past to be overweight, and it's still like this in poorer countries.
There are biases that "fat" means you aren't lacking resources. "Corporate fat cats", we are subconsciously drawn to help those with less resources than those with more.

4. And the inevitable appearance. Many people, even subconsciously, are less likely to help or feel sympathy to those we perceive as ugly. And in many cultures, obesity is automatically perceived as ugly.

[Anonymous]

Excuse you but I had an eating disorder for six years and let me be honest with you, there was NO sympathy. Pro-Ana and Pro-Mia receive just as much disgust and hatred as obesity, if not more. Is not something you flaunt, you try to hide it as well as you possibly can, with lame excuses and bulky clothes, because if anyone catches wind of it, suddenly you're a messed up freak who needs psychiatric help, and many other worse names. Can you even attempt to hide obesity? Didn't think so. The amount of harassment and bullying I endured with my eating disorder was tremendous, so don't you try and tell me people are sympathetic.

[Asker]

I had one, too, and I dealt with it alone and recovered from it. So, actually, excuse you lol

[Opinion Owner]

So did I. The world doesn't bow down to you.

[Opinion Owner]

Obviously recovered a little too well if you're whining about the treatment of obese people.

[Asker]

How can someone recover too well? That's an odd thing for someone who is supposedly recovered to say. And I didn't whine, I just asked a question.

I doubt you have a disorder and if you did,, you clearly haven't recovered.

[Opinion Owner]

Lol, still in the process. It doesn't end.

[Shmoopsie]

I suppose that anorexic/bulimic people actually have to work for their disorder. Whereas fat people just have to sit around eating pies. One cares about their appearance, the other is just lazy.

People need to realize what the disorder is, whereas I could never get married to a fat person, as they are just lazy lardies who like pies too much, and are very ugly as a result.

People again are confusing the terms. There are skinny people and not all skinny people are anorexics.

I'm skinny myself, but I'm not anorexic.

[somebodysaycheese]

Lord, you sound ignorant. Anorexia is a identity disorder, they dont identify with their body. Bulimics over eat and throw their food up. Binge people over eat , dont necessarily throw up the food but feel bad about eating, Emotional eaters eat when they are sad, mad, happy, angry... etc Medical Journals say they are all mental illnesses.

[somebodysaycheese]

And most anorexics aren't even skinny. Its not a body type but one not identifying with their body.

[Asker]

You sound very closed minded and uneducated. It's one thing to just not like fat people but to complete dismiss their struggle is an entirely new level of ignorance.

[somebodysaycheese]

You do know the world is ignorant in mental illness? Being obese is a mental illness, granted a lot of obese people loose the way but the mental illness is still there. Body dyspora, gender dysphora, anorexia, binge eating, emotional eating all are mental illnesses. yet most people dont know that. But we live in a world who rather ignore mental illness than take it on.

[Asker]

I know, I have Bipolar Disorder which, actually, resulted in my bulimia for a bit. I never told anyone about the bulimia except a therapist and I learned how to recover from it myself, but people write me off as completely crazy when they find out about my BP. It's pretty sad.

[somebodysaycheese]

You can see by the comments. No amount of science is going to sway peoples feelings.

[Beaver19]

Hard to say, I lost my hair young and shave what's left, even though I look good girls suffering hair loss still get more sympathy. Still hair loss isn't as unattractive as weight to me and many so it's different I'm sure, maybe it's that an anorexic person attempts to do something against weight even if not a healthy attempt. Whereas many times (not all) a fat person doesn't take the time to run (even basic jogging burns tons of fat off overweight people) or take steps against weight. They just accept it, I know I view it somewhat bad as I run a good amount I really want to maintain that running to keep slimmed even when I get older. It's really just putting in the effort which many overweight do not do. Not that it's all controlled or equal needs to lose it from person to person but I think society views fat as people not even trying to better themselves to some degree. Whereas anorexic? Kinda different in perspective. Hard to say for sure but you understand my point. It's effort.

[ARTESTJ]

Your are absolutely right, and I don't know why. If someone made fun of someones physical issue, other than obesity, people would be outraged. If you told a bind person to "Stay Home", people would be all over you, calling you a bigot. However, I don't understand why mocking obesity is socially acceptable. Just look at movies. "Fat Bastard" (Austin Powers), "Fat Amy" (Pitch Perfect), "Rosemary" (Shallow Hal), "Raspuita" (Norbit), just to name 4.

I wish it wasn't this way. I used to be 550 lbs (I'm down to 290), and when people make fun of me (still), it only make me want to eat more and hid myself. If they would have encourage me, it would have helped instead.

[willow74]

It must be different for everyone, then. Because being told I was fat everyday actually motivated me to get into shape.

[ARTESTJ]

@willow74 Of course it's different for everyone. However, I think you are the exception, and not the rule. Most people don't take criticism, even honest criticism mean to help, in a good way. I think most people are like me, they shut down. However, again, there are some people, like yourself, that honest criticism motivates change.

[kaylaS91]

Only <1% of obese people get to that weight as a result of an ED. Anorexia/bulimia are both mental disorders as well. Whereas obesity is, more often than not, resulting from laziness to workout, or just the lack of will to not eat out every single day and eat a bit healthier.

Why should obese people get more sympathy for something they brought upon themselves?

[Asker]

You might want to do a bit more research. Obesity is linked to several mental disorder and a side effect of them such as PTSD, Bipolar, Depression, etc. Bulimics eat just as much as obese people. The only difference is they throw it up. So because they decided not to keep it down, they get a pass? That doesn't make any sense.

[KenM9215]

while thats true that obesity is linked to several disorders, how many of them are a result of the actual obesity?

[somebodysaycheese]

@KenM9215 Its not a result of obesity. Obesity is a result of these ilnesses. thier are a lot of studies or people who have been raped, molested, abandoned, abused... etc Science is getting more educated on it themselves, but most doctors are still prejudice against overweight/obese people.

[kaylaS91]

@asker
Touché. Let's give people who take themselves as well as their children to McDonald's for dinner every single day before settling down at home and setting their kids in front of the tv for the rest of the evening a pass. Which they'll join in on too cause, yknow.. The ac at the gym is too high anyway.

[KenM9215]

this argument will go no where because its both, you can have those who's obesity was caused by mental illness and those who have mental illness because of their obesity. I don't see how doctors are being exactly prejudice against those who are clinically diagnosed as being overweight which has been shown to cause health issues. why would a doctor want to lie to their patient and tell them they are fine the way they are? should the doctor not want whats best for their patient? if that means being at a healthier, daily life improving weight would that not be the right thing for them to mention? also if the person follows the doctors orders and tries to lose weight and succeeds, would that not also alleviate or at least minimize said mental disorders? I'm not trying to sound rude while posting this, I'm just merely asking questions. there is discriminating against an obese person, I. E. making fun of them, not hiring them, etc, and then there is telling them their health is in jeopardy.

[KenM9215]

I see nothing wrong with a doctor telling their patient their health is at risk and what to do to try and fix it. If I were unhealthy I would want my doctor to tell me... I mean that is their job.

[kaylaS91]

@KenM9215 I agree. I'd say that there is a lot more wrong with a doctor telling their patient that their health is not compromised when in reality, their risk of having a heart attack, heart disease, stroke, diabetes, high cholesterol, among many other things, is significantly higher.

[somebodysaycheese]

@KenM9215 prejudice as in they aren't having that person seek mental help. Loosing weight doesn't alleviate mental illness. Mental illness is neurological so i don't see how weight correlates with the brain. Its said that over 70 percent of ameica has depression which is a mental illness. Those who have never had weight problems suffer from mental illness. This is why people need to be more educated on mental illness people are far too ignorant about it.

[kaylaS91]

@somebodysaycheese.. can you kindly list mental disorders that actual lead to obesity? Especially in such huge numbers (as in, effecting over half of the population of the states)

[somebodysaycheese]

Sexual assualt, ptsd, depression, body dysphora... etc you can actually go on the cdc siye or world health organization for more info. I get that we have been conditioned o believe its as easy as people are that way because of what they eat. Which is true, but then you need to ask why do they eat so much, why do they eat there feelings. Kinda how we became a lot fatter after the economy tanked. its not as black and white.

[kaylaS91]

@somebodysaycheese... obesity rates had been rising well before the economy tanked. Nice try in attempting to justify a lifestyle that is in turn leading to rising rates of countless other, often fatal, disorders.

[somebodysaycheese]

Lol, see the thing about facts and science is its true even if you dont beleive it. But you can stay blissfully ignorant if you want.

[kaylaS91]

@somebodysaycheese ignorant to the rising rates of fatal disorders! Ookk then. Don't let me stop you in your crusade to tell people who are obese and shortening their lifespans, or even muderers who kill because of a troubled childhood and resulting ptsd, that it's all okay. That it's not their fault and that they should be provided with just as much sympathy as anorexics/bulimics.

[godfatherfan]

That has more to do with the people you hang out with. But I do understand what you mean. People think that Bulimia and Anorexia are a disease/disorder, but they view overeating as strictly a lack of will power. That is, of course, complete bullshit. There are people that are overweight simply because they are lazy. But many are because of a compulsive eating disorder or medical condition.
If you fall into any of these catagories I urge you to go on SFWED. com
Something Fishy Website for eating Disorders. it saved my life.
I am/was overweight all my life (except about 11 yrs). I have been bulimic since 1987. I was seriously in the bulima for about 11-12 years. On Jan 6, 1999 I started "recovery" for it. My weight went from 190lbs (I am 6' 3") to 335lbs in 5 months.
In finding help I found websites and local support groups for Anorexia, bulimia and Compulsive/overeaters. Check local churches and hospitals and you will find support groups.

[lovelywiz]

what is your lowest weight?

[godfatherfan]

@lovelywiz my lowest was 187. I looked really bad. I am 6' 3" and have a big frame. I was down to a size 31 pant. I wear a 44 now. You could see my ribs even though I have always had a little bit of a gut. Since I have never exercised I have never had a 6 pack kind of look.
What people don't understand is that, with bulimia anyway, you can be bulimic and still be overweight. It is the way the body processes the calories and the way you screw with your metabolism. When I went into recovery, I saw a nutritionist. I ballooned up in weight but was not over-eating. It was because my body is used to hoarding all the calories it can when I do eat because it knows I won't leave it there long. So once I stopped purging, and I did for 9 months straight at the beginning, I went way up. When you have an brain that tells you your overweight at 187, guess what that does when you get to 330+.
I am around 280 now. I go plus or minus about 10-15 lbs. I still purge but not like I did for those 11 years.

[crimsonqueen]

Really? Let's think about that. When I was struggling with anorexia I constantly had people 'sympathetically' telling me "you're too skinny" "you're skin and bones" "you need to eat something" and to anyone who heard it, it was just compassion.

Now imagine if I walked up to an obese lady and went "honey you're too fat, look at you you're just roll on roll, you need to eat less" how would be react? They would probably call me a fuckimg cunt.

There are two sets of roles. But assholes will be assholes to either the obese or the anorexic. At least you don't get otherwise nice people condescending to you and criticizing you and thinking they're doing you a solid.

[Asker]

Um... people do exactly what you just described. And I'm talking more from a societal standpoint. Obese people get beat up way more than an anorexic or bulimic would in society.

[crimsonqueen]

If people do that they are universally considered assholes. No one looks at that as kindness like they do with anorexic people.

And not sure.. you must not be American, because most of the people in this country are pretty fat.

As for why people maybe (not always) feel SORRY for anorexic/bulimic people more than obese people.. it's probably because it's much rarer so it seems like less of a general problem more of an illness.. and it's less damaging (fat is the biggest killer in the U. S.)

Not that being condescended to and pitied is much fun either

[Asker]

I am American. I know most people here are fat, that's why I asked the question lol. But I see your point about the rarity.

[howzit2015]

because suffering from anorexia/bulimia is a mental disease, while being obese is just a physical characteristic. I think you are wondering my people with Impulse control issues or suffer from depression, which RESULTS in obesity, are condemned. While people, who suffer from anorexia/bulimia are helped. Well the short answer is both sides are helped, and people argue what makes being obesity a disease? If you suffer from frontal lobe syndrome or loss of impulse control you will be treated. That being said Anorexia/bulimia directly kills WAY more people than frontal lobe syndrome does. While people don't die from obesity you die from complications that arise from it

[Anonymous]

Because obese people are seen as being greedy and over eating themselves and anorexics are seen as having a mental disorder that makes them stop eating or in the case of bulimics sicking up the food they just ate, their condition sees a deterioration and withering away and they could die from lack of food, eating and gaining weight is basically seen as being greedy and not caring about what only how much, one of the 7 deadly sins in fact (gluttony), we all eat to live, but it's how much obese people eat that is despised, when someone stops eating they have a bigger chance of dying if they don't eat, it's seen as more of an urgency.

[Asker]

But you do know that food addiction is a mental order, right? Most food addictions are a form of PTSD from a severe instance in a person's life and they use food as a coping mechanism. It's really no different than heroine or cocaine but even they seem to get more help and assistance than obese people. They commonly are side effects of other mental disorders and sometimes, depending on the person, a mental disorder by itself.

[Opinion Owner]

Absolutely it is but i think an anorexic is seen to be more dangerous to themselves because like i said everyone needs food to live, and they refuse to eat point blank but yes i already know any type of food addiction is a mental illness anyone addicted to something is in fact alcohol too, but there is just a stigma when it comes to fat people, the way of the world/society.

[Asker]

Gotcha, I think I just misunderstood what you were saying orignally

[Opinion Owner]

No Probs.

[Jxpxtxr]

Oh really? Anorexics get sympathy? I'm struggling with fucking anorexia since I'm 13 and the only thing I got that would even remotely resemble "sympathy" is people looking at me like I'm some kind of freak.
Please don't go around making random assumptions like that.

[KenM9215]

I'm sorry to hear about your experience and I do hope you know there are those of us out there who don't see you as a freak and do try our best to sympathize with what you are going through to the best of our abilities.

[Jxpxtxr]

@KenM9215 that's nice of you to say, thanks )

[Asker]

It's not a random assumption. Society would be more willing to help an anorexic than a bulimic. Don't sit here and act like obese people aren't ridiculed in our society. I didn't ask about stares, I asked why do they get more sympathy. I never once said any was acceptable.

Sorry about your struggle, but obese people get judged harder than anorexics and bulimic a because they are larger.

[Asker]

FYI, I'm recovering from bulimia myself. Maybe you shouldn't assume that I have no clue what I'm talking about next time.

[KenM9215]

of course! it's true, and I hope you never forget that. people are so quick to see the bad around them that they forget there is good around them as well :)

[Jxpxtxr]

You usually can't tell that bulimics are bulimics at first sight though so your experiences are most likely very different from mine.

And I suppose obese people face negativity because it takes quite an amount of über laziness go get to that size in the first place and a person being 40lbs isn't in a nearly as critical situation as a person 40lbs underweight. Sure they are more prone to developing diabetes and heart problems later in life but it's not like they could drop dead any moment because their heart will just stop beating.

[somebodysaycheese]

The point she is making you at least have psychological help available. Obese people dont they get told to stop eating and being lazy.

[Jxpxtxr]

@somebodysaycheese You'd be surprised over how many overweight or obese people there are in clinics that treat EDs.. Once they actually get diagnosed with an ED they are treated just like anorexics and bulimics are, the issue is though that many obese or overweight people aren't actually sick with an ED in the first place. You can easily gain weight through just being a comfort eater and generally lazy to move but I'm yet to hear of someone who starved themselves until they were down to 80lbs without having anorexia or made themselves throw up after every meal without being bulimic..

[somebodysaycheese]

O, k So what im getting is that you think a eating disorder is only eating yourself skinny? Am I wrong? Binge eating, emotional eating are all eating disorders which are mental illnesses. These disorder can eat you fat and obese. You ever watch my 600lb life, and how they all had a reason for why they got where they got. Rape, loosing a wife and child, molestation, feeling abandoned. And one they got the bypass they didn't deal with the mental issues that got them their. Some got psychological help and they became successful in weightloss and both mental and physically healthy. a lot of people who have never had weight issues aren't even mentally healthy they just chose different ways to cope.

[Jxpxtxr]

@somebodysaycheese You obviously chose to skip everything I just wrote and make a conclusion. Ok, if you're just gonna take whatever you want out of what I actually said that's your problem and no offence, but I'm not gonna argue with someone like that..

[somebodysaycheese]

Um, first im sure i asked if that's what your saying in my opening sentence. So its you who chose to skip thay part.

[Jxpxtxr]

@somebodysaycheese If you would have actually read what I said you wouldn't have gotten that impression in the first place so no, not really.

[somebodysaycheese]

No i did hence why i askes that. you said comfort eater which is emotional eating.

[Jxpxtxr]

@somebodysaycheese I also said there's plenty of overweight and obese people which are actually in ED clinics being treated for EDs. I myself, witnessed that.
So you saying "The point she is making you at least have psychological help available. Obese people dont they get told to stop eating and being lazy." is simply incorrect.

[somebodysaycheese]

But just because youve seen people, doesn't mean you can generalize it the treatment for obese people. to be able to get treatment for ED you need a referral from your doctor and your insurance to cover it. Which most insurance doesn't cover mental health and doctors are prejudice towards the obese. so most will not the purpose of looking into the mental health

[Jxpxtxr]

@somebodysaycheese Funny you say that I'm generalising based on my experience when you're doing the exact same thing..

[somebodysaycheese]

Im not docking your experience. Im saying in general their isn't help for the obese psychologically. Infact their isn't proper help for mental health in general.

[Jxpxtxr]

@somebodysaycheese *there
Given that you actually got a proper diagnose there is gonna be all the help you can expect tbh.. Of course nobody can just look at you and immediately knows what's going on. Psychologists and therapists aren't mind readers but I know for a matter of fact that if you were right with that assumption and I wouldn't have gotten "proper help" when I was at my lowest weight at 14, I wouldn't be here today. Maybe doctors are biased towards obese people, I couldn't say that, but even then there's always the option for them to seek a professional about the matter and get a, much more reliable, diagnose from them. Now please don't argue that they would have to pay for that one-time-session because if they are seriously convinced they have a problem that they need to be helped with I don't know a single person that wouldn't cover the cost in that situation themselves. I get that you have your opinion on this but keep in mind taking other viewpoints into account, too.

[somebodysaycheese]

You have an opinion. But it doesn't change the fact that you need a referrel for insurance and most doctors won't give them. This i know from experience. Thats why im a advocat for mental health. Its not treated equally based prejudice. Anyway, i can see we are on two different pages so i shall leave it here

[justbanANNAz]

who said they dont? they both get sympathy. they both receive disgust. they're both bullied. they both may even have wanted to die at some point.

frankly, how others feel about them isn't important. they both feel the same way about themselves, and that's what should be focused on.

[AlwaysAGoodDay]

I don't think this is an issue that should really be viewed as a whole rather from person to person. I guarantee there are people that get sympathy with both problems but why is sympathy important?

Honestly, though people probably relate more to obesity in the US and perhaps other countries because it is a bigger problem for the country as a whole however that does not mean you don't have peers that understand your problem and want to help you.

[AlwaysAGoodDay]

Not saying that you have a problem I just mean you as in people that do have a problem.

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

I don't know. I also wonder this about drug addiction as well. Society goes "awwe poor bulimic person" and goes "ewww fat people" and "that drug addict must be a horrible idiot". All three involve mental problems that are difficult to overcome yet one gets special treatment. That's society for ya.

[inverted]

That's not necessarily true. I dated a girl who was a couple pounds underweight. Just a couple. People constantly commented that she was too skinny. And those were usually by people who were 15-20 lbs overweight themselves.

It's okay to be slightly overweight. Most people are. But if you're slightly underweight, somebody call the food police!!!, right?

[Yumix]

because Anorexia/Bulimia is more often than not cause by mental disorders and while obesity can be caused by it too, usually it's the result of unhealthy diets and no sport.

also, as long as you are not a walking skeleton, an underweight person looks closer to the average/ideal body type than someone who is extremely overweight, so people are less put off by it.

[Anonymous]

Theyre all food addicts. Bulimics and anorexics just respond by dismissing food all together or perging. And society sees their response as self inflicting ignoring the food addicted aspect that causes it all to begin with. So they dont see fat people as anything other than food addicts which is more of a subjective problem in society. Its only the responses they see as unhealthy which is just dumb if you ask me.

[karahiri]

i've wondered this too. being skinny, even if it's SCARY skinny, is just more favorable than being heavy. maybe it's a visual thing... it's easier for people to feel bad for someone who looks really fragile and weak. i feel equally bad for both...

[Mesonfielde]

Funny thing, I think anorexic people should just sit down and eat instead of killing themselves. No sympathy from my side, it's their own actions that kill them.

[Mesonfielde]

It's like someone who got lung cancer from smoking for 40 years.

You know, that was obvious from the start. Don't be surprised now!

[reixun]

are you the type to tell depressed people "lighten up"?

[Mesonfielde]

@reixun I don't think I meet depressed people on a regular basis.

[reixun]

you know what i mean, do you look down on all mental illnesses as non-issues?

[Mesonfielde]

@reixun well not all of them, you don't choose coming to the conclusion that you're bad at everything, but you do choose not eating, ya know?

[reixun]

anorexia is a series of choices but those choices are caused by factors like societal expectations, past trauma, lack of control in other parts of life among others. it's like a snowball rolling down a hill, it just adds and adds until it's too complicated to just "stop" doing it.

[Mesonfielde]

@reixun Honestly, the issue I have with it is that it's clearly based on the assumption that "if I lose weight, then my problems will be solved".

And then they get addicted to watching the numbers go down.

[somebodysaycheese]

anorexia is not identifying with your body. Its a identity disorder they see themselves as fat in the mirror and in their head therefore they can go as far as to not eating. Anorexia isn't a body type so a lot of anorexics aren't deadly skinny.

[Mesonfielde]

@somebodysaycheese Nah, just thinking you're fat doesn't make you stop eating.

It's an addiction to seeing the numbers go down on the scale and seeing it as a false sense of improvement.

[somebodysaycheese]

No, it really is thinking your fat. My mom has been battling all her life so has people I know. Its literally an identity/delusion disorder. thats why when they get treated they have to start seeing themselves as what the reflections shows other than what they feel.

[Forwhytho]

People get pooled with the generalization that obesity is a direct cause of high carb, high sugar, no exercise lifestyles. Though a majority of obesity cases come from such reasons as drinking lots of soft drinks and purchased cheap quality foods, there are people who have hormone imbalances and other issues that make it difficult for them to lose weight. I sympathize with those who make efforts to change and struggle overcoming them- despite being bulimic/anorexic/obese.

[Negrodamuss]

i think its because anorexics aren't viewed as takers/leeches, because the nature of their condition is that they aren't taking enough of something... while obese individuals are typically taking too much... which has a more negative connotation

[Ethrealness]

Because anorexic people genuinely have a mental disorder and the only issue obese people have is a lack of self-control and discipline.. that's why.

[genericname85]

because anorexia is a psychological condition in 100% of cases. being fat is only "condition" caused in like 10% if the cases. the óther 90% are just overeating and lazy.

[reixun]

you can be obese and have an eating disorder. everyone who has an eating disorder knows that sympathy doesn't help jack shit.

[Anonymous]

Anorexics and bulimics suffer from a psychotic body image distortion.

Fat people love fried chicken and ice cream.

[lovelywiz]

lmao fried chicken and ice cream

[onthelist]

Well you summed up america 😂