I don’t even know what to ask I think I’m broken at this point. How is this love?

[Kountry_King]

Been in a relationship for like 3 going on 4 years. She has a son and he calls me his Dad. My heart is shattered because she gave me a STD crazy thing about it is I got her an ankle bracelet w/ my initials that had a butterfly and elephant on it. She had unprotected sex with him and she allowed him to conquer her. He bent her any kind of way yes I’m dumb i didn’t know the rules of chlamydia and she fooled me and went along with it. We’re both got treated i thought i was passed it because i thought she had it for years. I went for a monthly check up and was told otherwise. My chest hurts so bad because she’s been lying to me. How many times has she done this to me behind my back. and she smiles in my face telling me she loves me & can’t wait for marriage.

[Losalt]

She might indeed love you.
What she does with others doesn't define her relationship with you or you with hers, at least not unless you let it.
She did lie to you, but you could argue that she did so to keep you, because she was afraid of losing you.

You should probably delay that marriage.
You two obviously have a lot to talk about.
And a marriage shouldn't be in the cards till you feel like you can trust her again.

She has your child.
So she's always going to be a part of your life in some way anyway.
So don't start burning bridges just yet.
Let her explain how she was feeling, perhaps first?
What was going through her mind when she did it?
Don't interrupt anything she's saying.

Does she love that other guy as well?
If yes, does she also love you?
If she loves you both she's polygamous.
And you'll have to figure out how to deal with that.
If you are able to share her for instance, and if yes then on what term?
If she doesn't love him, was this just sex?
Did she have a brief infatuation?
Was it rape?

Did she want this to happen?
Did it happen accidentally?

Etc.

If you are to go on having a relationship with her you're going to need full honesty from her.
Even if it hurts.

Because there's a lot of lost trust here.

Don't yell at her or be angry at her.
You're hurt, and in pain.

Part of that is because of what she actually did.
Part of that is because of the assumptions that you are making because of her actions, they may be true, or they may be false.
Learn the truth.

Once done listening and learning about the situation, start telling her about *your* feelings.

Don't draw conclusions about what you *should* do yet.
You're far to emotional right now to make any long term decisions.
But be honest about your pain.
And what went through your mind and what *is* going through your mind etc.

In some time when your feelings have calmed down a lot you can decide where to go from here on out...

You two owe it to your kid to be honest with each other and to take your time and make rational and informed decisions.

[Gremlinimo]

Sorry dude.

It hurts. Take some time to get your head straight, and make a decision that's right for you, not both of you, just you.

[Changiis07]

Then it is not love! It's best to move on before wasting more years with someone who disrespected you this whole time. There's plenty of fish in the sea and even though it might be hard to look at it now it will happen

[CA4444]

I don’t know about chlamydia but you need to be sure she did cheat before concluding that, then if she did it’s unforgivable and not love, if she cheats and says she loves you she is the one who is broken

[Kountry_King]

We have years in and I get it I wouldn’t come on here to victimize myself knowing I did wrong. But when i was getting treated I was told there’s no way for it to stay in her body that long from an old partner. You can only get it through sexual fluids. I’ve never had an STD and I’ve always used condoms besides her.

[xiaolian]

That type of girl never loves anyone and even if they have love, they do not, they won't show to u