Ladies; you’re out partying, do you ever feel like it’s your fault when random guys get overly friendly and touchy?

[wittymilf]

I always guilty like it’s somehow my fault that guys over step an obvious line regarding personal space, but yet I would never feel the need to touch random guys when out.

[Finchie40]

The problem is you are out partying , putting yourself in a environment where most guys and girls are looking to hook up and get laid so yes in a way it’s your fault even though you are thinking I am not going to hook up or cheat on my partner , you are still putting yourself in that environment where a bunch of people are Looking to hook up and get laid , especially if you are married or in a relationship it’s best to remove yourself from that environment if you love and value your partner Even though you feel you are being innocent and your partner can trust you , your partner might think otherwise especially if you are doing it a lot , Best thing to do is party at home and invite friends over or party over a friends , I like to party as well especially Friday nights after a long week of work to unwind and relax and have some brews I love the taste of IPA’s , so When I am in a relationship with a girl out of respect for her i pretty Much stay away from that scene as much as possible cuz I know it can cause drama in the relationship, alcohol and mingling leads to temptations , especially if you meet someone that you find attractive , Even though you are just being friendly and telling that person that you are already involved with someone , most people don’t give a shit when they are drinking , they look at you like you are just playing hard to get and keep coming at you trying to win you over , it’s a challenge to them Alcohol gives most people The confidence and courage and it boosts most guys ego’s to make them feel like they are the best looking guy on the planet , for girls it makes them be wild and outgoing and makes them not really have a care in the world , I have experienced and witnessed this so much that i realized it’s only really worth going out if you are single , because otherwise you really don’t need that environment in your life if you love and value your partner, People do stupid shit when they are out drinking and mingling , I have brought girls home and had sex to find out later that they are married , So that’s why I remove myself from that environment if I am in a relationship with someone , it isn’t worth the damage it can do , one night of drinking out can cause a world wind of shit in your life and in your relationship. The thing is if your partner is constantly pushing you to go out and saying they don’t care go have fun more than likely it’s because they are up to no good as well , don’t let them make you think otherwise , if you love and value your partner like they love and value
You , you honestly don’t need that environment in your life , I use to think it was ok until I realized all the drama that occurs from it

[wittymilf]

There’s a bit too much here for me to read. But I gather you think married people can’t go out or they deserve to be hit on? Kinda in summary yeah?

[Finchie40]

Not saying they can’t go out but shouldn’t go to places where it can cause drama in your relationship , Bars and clubs shouldn’t really be a place married people go all the time , it’s a sign of selfishness and disrespect

[wittymilf]

Yeah definitely don’t go all the time. That would be a sign of a troubled relationship

[EmmaMary]

@Finchie40

Please do correct me if I've misread your last but one sentence, for are you actually saying that my husband and I should never go out dancing or whatever, because it will be My Fault if I get hit on?

[Finchie40]

If you are going dancing with your husband then there is nothing wrong with that , if you were going dancing by yourself without your husband then yes you are at fault

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for clarifying this... It's much appreciated.

[Finchie40]

No problem, it’s things I have learned through my experiences in relationships, we aren’t perfect people , so the little things like this is what matters , it shows respect and appreciation to your partner if you value them and love them like
You say you do, then it shouldn’t be a hard task to complete , you Should always wear Your partners shoes when it comes to making decisions , just because we think something is ok in our own minds and we aren’t going to do anything wrong , you aren’t thinking of your partner on how they would feel about it , you are only thinking of
Yourself

[Fukaroo]

It's nobodies fault because nobody minds what nobody knows.

[wittymilf]

Philosophical 🤔

[ShellyB]

I might not say "guilty" but I do think sometimes that I misjudged a situation or got myself into a gray area I should not have. For background I have been dating a guy for almost four years and it is great, we got engaged this year and I have no interest in cheating on him so keep that in mind. I meet girlfriends sometimes at bars. While we hang out at bars, sometimes I will be given free stuff. I did not ask for it it just appears and the bartender will tell me who sent it. I will smile and wave or toast him and sometimes that is all that happens but most of the time he will walk over and want to chat. I am sipping on the drink he bought me and sometimes he is a smooth talker so there isn't really a point where I feel like cutting him off, I listen to him, I am smiling and participating in his story and he might touch my arm or shoulder, I do not freak out or scowl or anything I am still looking like I enjoy talking to him. OK should I be doing that? I don't know but that is what I do although I have ZERO ZERO ZERO interest in hooking up or anything, what I feel like is happening is that with the drink he paid to talk with me so I am honoring my part of the deal. And mostly it's OK I eventually get a chance to tell him about myself and I make sure to tell him how much I love my boyfriend, which is telling him without telling him that I am not available and generally it's fine and we can be friendly and even still keep talking. But sometimes before I get that chance the guy will say something inappropriate or touch me inappropriately, I do not feel guilty like I hurt him but I feel dumb like why did I put myself in that position.

[Jamie05rhs]

It's absolutely 100% not your fault for him touching you. But it IS your fault for him talking to you. You shouldn't accept drinks from random guys if you're in a relationship.

[Jamie05rhs]

The whole reason he wanted to talk to you in the first place is because he's attracted to you.

[DesiUwU]

it's not your fault, it's his, and the only way to teach him is to clock him.

i got felt up uninvitedly the other day and this guy was a repeating offender to me, so i clocked him, dragged him down, and stepped on him. i only pray he didn't get off on it

[wittymilf]

You go girl!

[KrakenAttackin]

@DesiUwU. Sure you did sweetie.

[DesiUwU]

@KrakenAttackin i'd do it to your old ass too, but i might accidentally break your fragile old person bones

[D_Bone_Steak]

The whole party scene comes with the expectation that stuff is going to happen. I'm the same way of keeping my hands to myself, but I'm not surprised when chicks grab my privates or dive in for a kiss when I'm just waiting for my wife outside of the bathroom. Drunk chicks do drunk chick shit. For every girl that's done that weirdo shit to me, there are 99 that have respected my space and didn't bug me... or grab me.

People go there to "party" or to get laid and fucked up. I shouldn't expect it to be a place where the brainiacs go to have civil discussions about Tax forms. I'd say it's your fault for going there to a place where that's what people that go there are going there for. That's my logic on the whole scene and fortunately for me, my wife has started to take on the same attitude. Too expensive just for cheap drinks and to struggle to get in the bathroom. $30 and I can have a non-molested party in front of my television.

[wittymilf]

Ah the perks of getting older 🥰

[MementoMori_]

Obviously it's wrong to touch someone if it is offensive to them. But there is always some small number of guys (and it's 99.99% guys because they are always on the hunt) who are either drunk and not their usual self, or just have no manners. That's life.

So is it your fault? I don't know. It depends on what you are doing. If you shake a steak in front of a hungry lion and the lion takes a bite out of your arm instead is that your fault? I see women do this sometimes who are either too dumb or too ignorant to know what the consequences might be. Nature is nature. You might not like it, but you are an idiot if you rely on "fairness" instead of reality.

Moral: Don't shake a steak in front of a hungry lion and you'll know whose fault it is if it happens.

[Friendlybro79]

Not your fault. These guys have no manners if they're touching you and you didn't ask for it. I hope you know telling them to stop touching you is appropriate. If you're doing the same to them then I'd have to have a deeper discussion lol. But if it's just you talking to them and they touch you inappropriately then you did nothing wrong.

Overly friendly I need more context. Some people are just overly friendly and chatty. In that case I can help with sharing what someone taught me to the overly chatty. They called it landing the plane on the conversation lol.

[fonduegirl]

For the most part? No it's not. But it also depends on the girl's behavior. Like if you flirted a guy, made out with him for an hour, ten bucks says yes he wants to get nasty. It still doesn't excuse any harassment, nor does it justify it, but you shouldn't initiate these things if you aren't comfortable with them.

[LazerBean]

I don't go anywhere that I think there will be a lot of low quality men who are going to get touchy. But if I did, I would have known and accepted the risk that I chose to take.

[petitedollbabee]

You probably feel like that because incels like to take the blame off of themselves and say that it’s the woman’s fault, and therefore it’s embedded into your brain that it’s your fault. It’s not your fault. Some men don’t understand boundaries and personal space, and don’t understand the difference between flirting or just being friendly.

[liligigi]

It is not your fault. You should never feel guilty if someone doesn't behave like a decent human being. Women are so conditioned to feel guilt even when they are the victim. It is hard to break this habit, but not impossible. The only person who should feel guilty is the person who doesn't respect other people's space and boundaries.

[BlueScorpio]

Um no, people should learn from a very young age to keep their hands to themselves unless given permission to touch someone or something. That's like saying it's your fault if someone touched your keys/wallet to your car then took off with it. Don't let someone blame you for their lack self control or impulses.

[weysally]

no, I never think it's my fault, or theirs's, all they are doing is what nature tells them, in fact I like attention,

[stratford]

How would you dress if you wanted to get a guys attention?

[jlee99]

Sometimes I do, because of the way I dress, but then I remember that I should be able to dress how I want without unwanted attention.

[stratford]

Totally agree with this.
How do you dress?

[exitseven]

sometimes girls can initiate this and get freaked out if it gets out of hand but if you are just minding your own business it does not matter how you are dressed, it is not your fault. some guys are just jerks.

[DannyUk2017]

Depends of the dress you wear... The less clothing the bigger the attention, the more lascive dancing the bigger the attention, the more drunk the easier the prey...🤷‍♂️

[Hannajenky]

I know it’s not my fault but I feel the same as you

[wittymilf]

What is wrong with us 🤔

[pewter_moon]

It’s simple consent. Real men ask for it, and cherish it.

[Faith18letsgo]

I definitely do not feel guilty. I don’t think dancing how I want to dance is an invitation for a random as guy to press himself against me.

[MrReliable12]

Why are random guys touching you when you are married?

[wittymilf]

Exactly

[Jamesier]

They shouldn't be touching without consent even when single too.

[wittymilf]

@Jamesier also very valid point!

[AddylynnNightingale]

No, but I feel guilt after having twisted their arm or breaking fingers.

[Jamie05rhs]

Why would it be her fault? That doesn't make any sense.

[wittymilf]

I think I agree with you, I don’t know why🤷‍♀️

[Jamie05rhs]

@wittymilf Thanks

[Haha456]

and you're also responsible for dressing with your tits or ass hanging out at those parties or clubs. If you don't want the attention, dont leave your ass hanging out halfway

[Robbey]

Why assume she’s dressed that way?

[Haha456]

@Robbey

because that is how 95% of the time women are dressed when they go to the club.

[ericclayton]

I don't care how hot she is, don't put your hands on her. She will clearly signal if she's interested in this way, it takes wisdom to notice this. Be patient and see the signs.

[Gooddaze]

Not sure I’d agree. Unless you are directly flirting or acting sexual towards them then they are just being horn dogs.

[loveslongnails]

Why do YOU feel guilty - because you have great tits and that means it's an invitation for guys to be stupid?

[Kevin1510]

I just dance around random girls if she makes the move I continue with the touches

[wittymilf]

Smooth

[Kevin1510]

If she is cute I may start with some normal touches

[Kevin1510]

Follow back?

[krin_m]

You should not feel responsible for some guy-s obnoxious behavior. Tell him to knock it off and walk away.

[mandyfire98]

No I never feel like it's my fault. If I want to be touched the other person will definitely know.

[msc545]

You get what you ask for. Sure you can dress as you want, but you have to accept the reactions your appearance will evoke.

[Faith18letsgo]

No you don’t. If I see a woman in revealing clothes I don’t go up behind her and start dancing against her. And if I did she wouldn’t have to accept that, she would be well in her rights to tell me to back off.

[msc545]

@Faith18letsgo Nobody says you can't react to things you don't like, but to begin with, those things are going to happen if you are dressed or behave in a way that attracts that kind of attention.

[Friendlybro79]

@msc545 The you get what you ask for statement is frustrating. Not all people are asking for other people to openly touch them. The problem is enough people think what you say is true. It isn't true. Your state of dress or appearance isn't an open invitation to be grabbed or touched. Some men behave that way and they are wrong. That is not appropriate and creepy to start touching you. I don't mean tap on the shoulder excuse me. You aren't necessarily getting something you asked for when this happens.

So if you're a man and can't control yourself you have zero manners, were raised like an animal, and deserve to get kicked in the balls.

If anyone was acting this way towards my sister I'd be ready for words with this alleged man. I don't care what anyone is wearing. Behave... If you want to touch this person then have a normal conversation, be less creepy, and maybe she'll allow you to touch her later.

Your mentality is like if I wear a Yankee jersey at a red Sox game I'm asking to get beat up and almost should expect it.

[msc545]

@Friendlybro79 Stop complaining about how things really are as opposed to what you think is "Fari". If you wear a Yankee jersey at a Red Sox game you really might get beat up and short of not going to the game or not wearing that piece of clothing, there is nothing you can do about it. That is reality.

[Friendlybro79]

I'm not complaining at all. How far does that logic take you? What if a woman was wearing a tee shirt and jeans? Where's the line of accepted clothing that wouldn't prompt you to say you got what you asked for? In a social setting for ex. What's the reality then overall? Then you could just say that at any moment anyone can see you as a target for some kind of physical abuse. That's just men... Of course some people will do that and behave ill mannered but my point was she didn't get what she asked for... I'm sure there's always rare exceptions but my point you dressing provocatively doesn't mean I asked for unwanted touching. I never said it wouldn't happen.

[Friendlybro79]

Oh and I've been to a red Sox game with a Yankee jersey on and I was fine. Heckled but fine. A matter a fact, last time, a few people with red Sox Jerseys near me and we chatted the entire time. Had a great conversation.

[msc545]

@Friendlybro79 It isn't a question of asking for anything, It is the issue of being able to exercise good judgment.

[msc545]

I am not an expert on women's clothng. That said, it would be interesting to compare the clothing styles of women who get assaulted, and those who do not.

[wittymilf]

I would say most women getting assaulted are women who appear vulnerable, most people who are vulnerable don’t want to stand out in. Crowd… but also a lot of men seem to believe it’s there right to just touch women they find attractive so hard to really know

[KrakenAttackin]

@msc545. Spot on correct. When you seek attention you will get all kinds of attention from all kinds of people, some welcome, some not. Deal with it.

[wittymilf]

@KrakenAttackin really though. That sounds like men being unwilling to accept their lack of self control. We probably should y have to hide away just do you don’t harras us 🤷‍♀️🤔. I’d like to think, and I know that there are a massive amount of good guys out there who do know how to behave and enjoy the company of attractive women. I don’t think the disrespectful muppets ought to spoil it for the rest of you.

[msc545]

Sure, many things "ought to be different", but they are not. Live with it - we do.

[msc545]

Blaming men is not appropriate in this circumstance, although I understand that is just a kneejerk reaction on your part.

[wittymilf]

Um the question I ask literally says I feel guilty for men’s behaviour as if it is my fault. 🤷‍♀️ like literally blame myself although it’s nice to see there are a lot of men in this gag who know it’s men behaving badly and it’s been great to hear

[msc545]

From your standpoint it's been behaving badly. From a man standpoint it may be bad behavior and it may not be. What you consider bad behavior and what I consider bad behavior is probably quite different.

[msc545]

Additionally, shaming people as if they were small children is not going to get you a good reaction from anybody.

[KrakenAttackin]

@msc545. Exact, there is a reason we have locks on our doors even though we have laws against burglary and robbery.

[wittymilf]

@KrakenAttackin guys… just do better 😂😂

[msc545]

Stop whining.

[KrakenAttackin]

@wittymilf. *Sigh*. This is a core difference between men and women. Men HAVE to live in the real world while women insist in living in a fantasy world... than women get upset when their fantasy collides with reality.

[Grond21]

Do you sometimes feel guilty for other people's behavior in other situations? Or is this only when you go out?

[CubaPirate]

Some probably do, but it never really is imao

[Anonymous]

Females sexualize themselves for male attention… so yes it is your fault.

Like waving meat in a lions cage and not expecting a lion to react.

[douride2]

It's not my fault if some random guy gets all touchy feely.

[AmeerX]

Look, woman seduces a woman and she doesn't like it then she can claim she is being raped. The same is not true of men being seduced by women.

[Faith18letsgo]

Subduction is when you act in a way that makes someone want to sleep with you. Rape is when you force sex onto someone else. Not the same thing at all no matter what gender the participants are.

[AmeerX]

@Faith18letsgo yes, but mostly men are implicated in those.
Men are treated much worst even in consentual fornicationcases even though women are responsible for letting a man be free with them

[bananathunder]

you shouldn't... guys who do that are just creepy af

[Dinklex3]

?

No. Lol.

[MzAsh]

I’ve never felt like that. It’s not your fault.

[FreyaRed]

It's not my fault I'm born that way.

[PinkRose24]

Ur 46 and you still go to clubs?

[Friendlybro79]

She did say out partying. Didn't imply a club. Could be a friend's house party. Are you saying people in their 40s not allowed to go out and have fun or are you like cool you're still going out in your 40s? Lol. If it's not clear I'm not making fun of your comment. I remember thinking people after a certain age just stay home in a rocking chair lol

[PinkRose24]

@Friendlybro79 no I mean doesn't she have kids to attend to?

[Friendlybro79]

Oh sheesh lol. If she went out say 3 times a year with friends, and had a sitter, would you be ok with that? Or is a parent not allowed to go out until a kid is 18? To be clear now I'm being a little sarcastic.

[PinkRose24]

@Friendlybro79 you sound upset

[Friendlybro79]

Not at all. Hence the lol. Are you?

[wittymilf]

@Friendlybro79 I went out with my
Kids :) we went to dinner and it was 2 for 1 cocktails… they had 6 I was sober but I didn’t want to cut their fun short so we went to find pool tables. 🤷‍♀️. I’ve been going out with my kids for bout 7 years now. We like to hang out together

[Bethany22]

No, cause I usually dress appropriately

[Steamnir]

No, i just feel they are rapists

[melanieeeB]

Hell no!

[AsaKyo]

I'm glad I don't party

[Date_a_Snob]

I don't flirt. period.

[Jennz6]

Yes because I dress 👗 kinda sluty💃

[Blackcupcake]

nope

[Kelly6]

Never

[Jennz6]

@Kelly6 I do because I dress and act like a slut, I just asking for it 💃

[Mediterraneansoul]

It take two to tango