Ladies; you’re out partying, do you ever feel like it’s your fault when random guys get overly friendly and touchy?

[wittymilf]

I always guilty like it’s somehow my fault that guys over step an obvious line regarding personal space, but yet I would never feel the need to touch random guys when out.

[Finchie40]

The problem is you are out partying , putting yourself in a environment where most guys and girls are looking to hook up and get laid so yes in a way it’s your fault even though you are thinking I am not going to hook up or cheat on my partner , you are still putting yourself in that environment where a bunch of people are Looking to hook up and get laid , especially if you are married or in a relationship it’s best to remove yourself from that environment if you love and value your partner Even though you feel you are being innocent and your partner can trust you , your partner might think otherwise especially if you are doing it a lot , Best thing to do is party at home and invite friends over or party over a friends , I like to party as well especially Friday nights after a long week of work to unwind and relax and have some brews I love the taste of IPA’s , so When I am in a relationship with a girl out of respect for her i pretty Much stay away from that scene as much as possible cuz I know it can cause drama in the relationship, alcohol and mingling leads to temptations , especially if you meet someone that you find attractive , Even though you are just being friendly and telling that person that you are already involved with someone , most people don’t give a shit when they are drinking , they look at you like you are just playing hard to get and keep coming at you trying to win you over , it’s a challenge to them Alcohol gives most people The confidence and courage and it boosts most guys ego’s to make them feel like they are the best looking guy on the planet , for girls it makes them be wild and outgoing and makes them not really have a care in the world , I have experienced and witnessed this so much that i realized it’s only really worth going out if you are single , because otherwise you really don’t need that environment in your life if you love and value your partner, People do stupid shit when they are out drinking and mingling , I have brought girls home and had sex to find out later that they are married , So that’s why I remove myself from that environment if I am in a relationship with someone , it isn’t worth the damage it can do , one night of drinking out can cause a world wind of shit in your life and in your relationship. The thing is if your partner is constantly pushing you to go out and saying they don’t care go have fun more than likely it’s because they are up to no good as well , don’t let them make you think otherwise , if you love and value your partner like they love and value
You , you honestly don’t need that environment in your life , I use to think it was ok until I realized all the drama that occurs from it

[wittymilf]

There’s a bit too much here for me to read. But I gather you think married people can’t go out or they deserve to be hit on? Kinda in summary yeah?

[Finchie40]

Not saying they can’t go out but shouldn’t go to places where it can cause drama in your relationship , Bars and clubs shouldn’t really be a place married people go all the time , it’s a sign of selfishness and disrespect

[wittymilf]

Yeah definitely don’t go all the time. That would be a sign of a troubled relationship

[EmmaMary]

@Finchie40

Please do correct me if I've misread your last but one sentence, for are you actually saying that my husband and I should never go out dancing or whatever, because it will be My Fault if I get hit on?

[Finchie40]

If you are going dancing with your husband then there is nothing wrong with that , if you were going dancing by yourself without your husband then yes you are at fault

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for clarifying this... It's much appreciated.

[Finchie40]

No problem, it’s things I have learned through my experiences in relationships, we aren’t perfect people , so the little things like this is what matters , it shows respect and appreciation to your partner if you value them and love them like
You say you do, then it shouldn’t be a hard task to complete , you Should always wear Your partners shoes when it comes to making decisions , just because we think something is ok in our own minds and we aren’t going to do anything wrong , you aren’t thinking of your partner on how they would feel about it , you are only thinking of
Yourself

[Fukaroo]

It's nobodies fault because nobody minds what nobody knows.

[wittymilf]

Philosophical 🤔

[ShellyB]

I might not say "guilty" but I do think sometimes that I misjudged a situation or got myself into a gray area I should not have. For background I have been dating a guy for almost four years and it is great, we got engaged this year and I have no interest in cheating on him so keep that in mind. I meet girlfriends sometimes at bars. While we hang out at bars, sometimes I will be given free stuff. I did not ask for it it just appears and the bartender will tell me who sent it. I will smile and wave or toast him and sometimes that is all that happens but most of the time he will walk over and want to chat. I am sipping on the drink he bought me and sometimes he is a smooth talker so there isn't really a point where I feel like cutting him off, I listen to him, I am smiling and participating in his story and he might touch my arm or shoulder, I do not freak out or scowl or anything I am still looking like I enjoy talking to him. OK should I be doing that? I don't know but that is what I do although I have ZERO ZERO ZERO interest in hooking up or anything, what I feel like is happening is that with the drink he paid to talk with me so I am honoring my part of the deal. And mostly it's OK I eventually get a chance to tell him about myself and I make sure to tell him how much I love my boyfriend, which is telling him without telling him that I am not available and generally it's fine and we can be friendly and even still keep talking. But sometimes before I get that chance the guy will say something inappropriate or touch me inappropriately, I do not feel guilty like I hurt him but I feel dumb like why did I put myself in that position.

[Jamie05rhs]

It's absolutely 100% not your fault for him touching you. But it IS your fault for him talking to you. You shouldn't accept drinks from random guys if you're in a relationship.

[Jamie05rhs]

The whole reason he wanted to talk to you in the first place is because he's attracted to you.

[DesiUwU]

it's not your fault, it's his, and the only way to teach him is to clock him.

i got felt up uninvitedly the other day and this guy was a repeating offender to me, so i clocked him, dragged him down, and stepped on him. i only pray he didn't get off on it

[wittymilf]

You go girl!

[KrakenAttackin]

@DesiUwU. Sure you did sweetie.

[DesiUwU]

@KrakenAttackin i'd do it to your old ass too, but i might accidentally break your fragile old person bones

[D_Bone_Steak]

The whole party scene comes with the expectation that stuff is going to happen. I'm the same way of keeping my hands to myself, but I'm not surprised when chicks grab my privates or dive in for a kiss when I'm just waiting for my wife outside of the bathroom. Drunk chicks do drunk chick shit. For every girl that's done that weirdo shit to me, there are 99 that have respected my space and didn't bug me... or grab me.

People go there to "party" or to get laid and fucked up. I shouldn't expect it to be a place where the brainiacs go to have civil discussions about Tax forms. I'd say it's your fault for going there to a place where that's what people that go there are going there for. That's my logic on the whole scene and fortunately for me, my wife has started to take on the same attitude. Too expensive just for cheap drinks and to struggle to get in the bathroom. $30 and I can have a non-molested party in front of my television.

[wittymilf]

Ah the perks of getting older 🥰

[MementoMori_]

Obviously it's wrong to touch someone if it is offensive to them. But there is always some small number of guys (and it's 99.99% guys because they are always on the hunt) who are either drunk and not their usual self, or just have no manners. That's life.

So is it your fault? I don't know. It depends on what you are doing. If you shake a steak in front of a hungry lion and the lion takes a bite out of your arm instead is that your fault? I see women do this sometimes who are either too dumb or too ignorant to know what the consequences might be. Nature is nature. You might not like it, but you are an idiot if you rely on "fairness" instead of reality.

Moral: Don't shake a steak in front of a hungry lion and you'll know whose fault it is if it happens.

[Friendlybro79]

Not your fault. These guys have no manners if they're touching you and you didn't ask for it. I hope you know telling them to stop touching you is appropriate. If you're doing the same to them then I'd have to have a deeper discussion lol. But if it's just you talking to them and they touch you inappropriately then you did nothing wrong.

Overly friendly I need more context. Some people are just overly friendly and chatty. In that case I can help with sharing what someone taught me to the overly chatty. They called it landing the plane on the conversation lol.

[anon1903]

For the most part? No it's not. But it also depends on the girl's behavior. Like if you flirted a guy, made out with him for an hour, ten bucks says yes he wants to get nasty. It still doesn't excuse any harassment, nor does it justify it, but you shouldn't initiate these things if you aren't comfortable with them.

[LazerBean]

I don't go anywhere that I think there will be a lot of low quality men who are going to get touchy. But if I did, I would have known and accepted the risk that I chose to take.

[petitedollbabee]

You probably feel like that because incels like to take the blame off of themselves and say that it’s the woman’s fault, and therefore it’s embedded into your brain that it’s your fault. It’s not your fault. Some men don’t understand boundaries and personal space, and don’t understand the difference between flirting or just being friendly.

[liligigi]

It is not your fault. You should never feel guilty if someone doesn't behave like a decent human being. Women are so conditioned to feel guilt even when they are the victim. It is hard to break this habit, but not impossible. The only person who should feel guilty is the person who doesn't respect other people's space and boundaries.

[BlueScorpio]

Um no, people should learn from a very young age to keep their hands to themselves unless given permission to touch someone or something. That's like saying it's your fault if someone touched your keys/wallet to your car then took off with it. Don't let someone blame you for their lack self control or impulses.

[weysally]

no, I never think it's my fault, or theirs's, all they are doing is what nature tells them, in fact I like attention,

[stratford]

How would you dress if you wanted to get a guys attention?

[exitseven]

sometimes girls can initiate this and get freaked out if it gets out of hand but if you are just minding your own business it does not matter how you are dressed, it is not your fault. some guys are just jerks.

[jlee99]

Sometimes I do, because of the way I dress, but then I remember that I should be able to dress how I want without unwanted attention.

[stratford]

Totally agree with this.
How do you dress?

[DannyUk2017]

Depends of the dress you wear... The less clothing the bigger the attention, the more lascive dancing the bigger the attention, the more drunk the easier the prey...🤷‍♂️

[Hannajenky]

I know it’s not my fault but I feel the same as you

[wittymilf]

What is wrong with us 🤔

[pewter_moon]

It’s simple consent. Real men ask for it, and cherish it.

[Faith18letsgo]

I definitely do not feel guilty. I don’t think dancing how I want to dance is an invitation for a random as guy to press himself against me.

[AddylynnNightingale]

No, but I feel guilt after having twisted their arm or breaking fingers.

[Jamie05rhs]

Why would it be her fault? That doesn't make any sense.

[wittymilf]

I think I agree with you, I don’t know why🤷‍♀️

[Jamie05rhs]

@wittymilf Thanks

[Haha456]

and you're also responsible for dressing with your tits or ass hanging out at those parties or clubs. If you don't want the attention, dont leave your ass hanging out halfway

[Robbey]

Why assume she’s dressed that way?

[Haha456]

@Robbey

because that is how 95% of the time women are dressed when they go to the club.

[ericclayton]

I don't care how hot she is, don't put your hands on her. She will clearly signal if she's interested in this way, it takes wisdom to notice this. Be patient and see the signs.

[Gooddaze]

Not sure I’d agree. Unless you are directly flirting or acting sexual towards them then they are just being horn dogs.