This girl in my office had many guys vying for her attention. She is well educated and makes decent money. She could easily lead a comfortable, respected life - married or not. Suddenly she had married a guy twice her age. This man already has 2 living (and 1 dead) ex-wives and many mistresses all the world over. His eldest child is almost her age.
Why some decent girls fall for such perverted men? Do you think a decent life with a regular guy is so bad?
A guy on GAG explained it very well. However, most people, especially guys on GAG, don't want the truth. Instead, they want to believe girls are attracted to guys that mistreat them. Of course, that is false because girls are attracted to hot guys; not bad boys per se.
As explained by a guy on GAG, bad boys are athletic, smart, very good looking guys. That is, they are the popular guys that girls chase after. Girls have always been easy for popular bad boys. Therefore, girls are like sand; they have very little value. They snap their fingers and the girls come running. That are not mean; they don't mistreat girls.
Instead, they find them, feed them, have sex with them, and then leave them for the next easy and pretty lay. Of course girls don't like giving sex and being dumped so they complain, call them bad guys, and most every name in the book. However, the bad boys don't actually mistreat them. They willingly hop into bed with hot guys because they are hoping for a relationship. Regardless, the girls are angry, because the hot guys will have sex with them but are not interested in a relationship.
In contrast, nice guys are average looking guys. They are not hot so most girls are not interested. Therefore, the nice guys are usually rejected or put in the friend zone. To get a girl they must invest a lot of time (perhaps years), money, and effort. Therefore, when a nice guy finds a girl, she is precious; she is like a diamond. He wants to marry her and will treat her like she should be treated. Even so, she may dump him for the next hot guy that only wants to take her to bed.
I do not think you gave the best example above. I thought she would of fallen for some aggressive violent asshole with a criminal record or something.
How old is your friend? 30? She’s a grown women and can make her own decisions. Yeah her new husband is twice her age and not exactly a familial role model. Why she choose him is beyond anyone’s comprehension. He must be extremely good at emotionally seducing women. Is he rich?
But at the end of the day SHE made this choice (stupid or not). Yet you somehow are trying to blame him for it happening despite her agreeing and consenting to all of this. She’s no child. She knows the risks. Just want to be clear on that.
My theory is that western women have been given more privileges and opportunities in human history and ironically it makes many of them miserable.
The absolute worst state of mind women can be in isn’t fear, depression, anger, etc. No the worst state is boredom. Even if the “boredom” comes with true peace and tranquility. They yearn for excitement, drama and danger even if the risk of self destruction is very high as a result of that choice. And when these women get screwed over society is more likely to treat them like “victims”. Men who get screwed over are treated like naive chumps and losers.
My solution is to remove the safety net for women who make bad choices. Quit giving them a shoulder to cry on. Treat them the same way men get treated. You make a bad decision then you suffer the consequences. It’s on you.
When things go wrong down the road I dare you to tell her she made this decision on her own. She’s not a “victim”. She knows what she was getting into. She will need to own up to it when it happens.
Women want “equality”. Fine. You get everything that comes with it.
What men think are good catches are not the same for women. Women like proven men who want to commit. They like a diamond in the rough bad boys they can reshape to the boring men who are in abundance, because she thinks there is a little extra to him. Most bad guys are confident.
You would be shocked how many women would fall for a guy who look strong and came up to her and said I want to do you and then marry you. And then we he gets rejected he walks off and becomes more attractive because he comes off not as desparate.
A lot of guys go too easy into the friendzone. You would be shocked how a woman takes a man who will ot waste the time on her, when he presents an expectation. And to be clear, does not force her, but goes up to her, banters, and then moves on the moment she says no to her friend, or another woman.
A woman will tell you she hates men like that. But he gets under her skin and she feels like she needs to do something. And you will see if, these guys will have a line of girls following him, if you could see what his whole month looks like. Once some women see the competition, she will participate.
sounds like the guy she fell for is an irresponsible fellow. it's different from a bad guy who smokes and drinks and clubs and probably doesn't hesitate to dish out a slap or spank when feeling provoked.
And to answer your questions, girls, even the most classy looking ones that look like Beyonce, Rihanna or Taylor swift are not as confident as they look. Most are looking for validation and like that air of danger and confidence.
I've heard some of my friends say "I want a guy who can put me in my place" or "I want a guy who can keep mee in line." blah blah. and Rihanna once said "I cannot be with a guy who is intimidated by me."
Im not speaking for all women but majority are this way, from a well respected Queen to a servant girl. All want a man that can lead.
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35Opinion
Many women, even the most accomplished, often suffer from self confidence issues. Bad boys appear strong because they tend to have extremely high levels of confidence.
Because bad guys bad boys have the confidence they want in a man. Period.
He's probably handsome, likely lives a high lifestyle, and the chaos he causes makes him seem "exciting" (because danger is exciting, right up until it starts threatening you). Good men are reliable, stable, trustworthy, and predictable - which most women see as boring. They also don't tend to life a lifestyle that could be mistaken for that of an Instagram influencer.
Of course, at the beginning, it will be exciting and there will be butterflies in the tummy, but 2 years down the road, the butterflies will be long gone and she will probably be miserable.
This is what happens when you make relationship decisions like a teenager based on nothing but your feelings in the moment, and not taking into consideration anything longterm.
a.) It's the best they can get given their personality/character. You see, guys don't take a woman seriously just because she looks good. She can get all the sex she wants but being taken seriously is much more difficult.
b.) She's convinced herself it isn't important to find a good guy right now. Not realizing that it gets harder to find him the more baggage (bad relationships/experiences) & mileage she collects.
c.) She wants to act like a man, not realizing that it is repulsive to quality dudes. Look up "masculine energy".
If she is past 30 she has much less options, especially when it comes to good high quality guys. Also it is a mistake to think a high income will attract a good guy. Most good guys that are not lazy are not impressed in the slightest with a woman's income.
The truth. Many of the "bad men" have confidence, even if it does derive from ego and lack of self-awareness. So they pursue women and ask them out.
Whereas many of the "good men" out there are doubting themselves or too shy to make a move; they're too afraid of rejection or they feel like they're not good enough.
Girls are dumb! Haha. We love falling for confidence over everything else. It takes some maturity to grow passed that. Too often people say “I can fix him” or “I just wish people could see how he is with just me”. Hopefully life experience steps in before marriages happen
High degree of confidence that she knows exactly what she’s doing. I also reckon her new husband’s net worth is in the seven, if not eight figures.
Her (doubtless) good looks, good education, and good perception seems to have been employed in a potentially lucrative (career?):
Gold-digging!
Because young women are hard wired to get the tingles for lowlife shitbags.
This is known as the bad boy phase.
About age 30, most females have an epiphany and declare that they are “ready for a good man”.
By that time most young women have fucked up their lives in ways that cause good men to not want them.
Bad boys are unpredictable and adventurous so human brain is attracted to that excitement of what next ot gives adrenaline rush
Where as with good boys the relationship is predictable and same everyday it's secure and safe and after a point it becomes boring
I have been with both good and bad guys so i am able to share the experience
i would say cause narcissism and conceit can look very similar to competence and expertise. also i think there's a side of lacking confidence there. cause i think the urge to go for a "bad" guy comes from the desire to have a guy that no other girl would want. gives a false feeling of security.
I’ve been asking myself this for forty years! I’ve had women turn me down to go out with knuckle dragging, chest thumping, strutting ass holes and drugged out, brain dead, chronically unemployed losers since high school.
Part is a desire to blame their own bad behavior on men. It’s hard to say I got you drunk if I don’t drink and won’t buy you a drink.
First off: you should’ve just said she is beautiful. Being educated doesn’t make you more attractive (especially considering the fields women choose) we don’t care about what your level of education is (until we are seriously dating men do not care about anything but your looks get over it)
Do you know why?
Because they don't stick with the good guys because the good guys aren't exciting or "alpha-enough" for them.
That's fucking life which is why our species is insufficiently evolving.
Not all men show their true colors or intentions just like some women. Now If they know for a fact the guy has a bad reputation and they still go for him, then that's all on them.
Well, it'd help if you articulated his positive qualities since that's PROBABLY what she's playing for. Reading between the lines of what you wrote (twice her age, many mistresses all over the world), I'm going to guess that this dude is somewhere between very rich and absolutely loaded. So I think that MAY have something to do with why she "fell" for him.
Bad boys know how to charm a girl. And he could be a good guy deep down. The mistresses part could be just rumor or exaggeration. Maybe you’re a little jealous?
All I can say is that cases like this one prove that been "educated" is BULLSHIT in the end! Also the reason why guys don't care even slightest about a girl's education.
In general don't most women want a man who makes close to them or more? If so, their available choices go down the more successful they become. Do you know if this guy wealthy?
Because most women prefer confident attractive men even if they are trouble. Shit I poke fun at my girlfriend all the time because I'm trouble and she knows it and doesn't give a fuck because I can give her the sex she desires.
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