Have you ever had a very nasty comeback but didn’t use it (but wondering if you should)?

[Anonymous]

“It makes a lot more since why you got fired from your job now.”

“I can see why your ex husband used to beat you. It’s too bad he didn’t beat you harder.”

”If you weren’t born a very attractive woman no man would of ever married you. Your personality is intolerable. If you were a man no matter how good looking you might be nobody would tolerate you.”

Above all were cutting insults on had on the tip of my tongue for various scenarios with dealing horrible women. I held back though and just completely cut off all communication with these women. Just told them “best of luck” after hitting a breaking point.

I know the “ex husband” line will get some female angry responses. Just a fyi I never hit a woman in my life. But this particular woman showed up on my doorstep and later (subtlety) insulted me in front of my family she just met. She made me look like a creep with zero justification. Long story but my anger was justified.

Anyway I never said those things above. But I have to wonder would of it been very satisfying to say something that nasty or would it left me feeling long term guilt?

[Telekinetic-Potato]

All the time 😂

I used to be a total asshole but I'm working on it. A recovering asshole. Only its other people who are still sore.

Someone was begging for it today because he always swears he is the most organized person ever but he's always all over the place, losing things, completely indecisive and doesn't know what he wants and he was getting under my skin today and I stopped myself from saying something absolutely hilarious that would have really made him look like a dick head.

Small steps

[Asker]

Most people as they get older think twice more. Reason being at some point you yourself had someone say something nasty to you and it stuck longer in your mind than you expected. Either that you might see someone who tore into years ago and later find what you said to them had a lasting impact.

Then there are other people who get even worse when they get older. That is really just projection. Sign of self loathing and depression. I had a former boss like that. He was a ugly disgusting obese sociopathic pos. He never hesitated with an insult or slight when he got an opportunity. But I realized he hated himself. He wasn’t fooling anybody.

Anyway there are right and wrong time to throw your punches. But don’t throw one if they didn’t start swinging first.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Thankyou for this comment. As right as you are, I don't THINK I ever hated myself. I just had a really short temper lmao

I also never learned how to connect with people at a young age so a lot of it probably had to do with the overly logical outlook on life I grew up with.

I think that a lot of the time, I genuinely thought I was defending myself or helping people but over time I started taking it too far because I started to enjoy making people feel like shit. And like you said, I got older and started seeing myself in other people and didn't like it. I also started to realize that it wasn't healthy for myself because it was turning me into a narcissist which...

I've been going through a lot of weird shit. But I'm trying...

[Asker]

There are consequences to our actions but more often than not the future doesn’t seem real. Words do have power. Sticks and stones is a fallacy.

You don’t have to tolerate shitty behavior though. Just saying “best of luck”, cutting ties and never looking back gets the message across more deeply than you realize.

It’s tough though. I can’t help but wonder at times how satisfying it would be to get that cutting remark in. It’s a angle I that I know would hurt. Make them hurt because I was hurt to begin with and they didn’t give a shit. But that’s not a good way to go about life.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

It's something I'm learning to do in moderation more. Some people a really are ligitimate assholes who've never had anyone cut them down. But like you said that's not most of the time.

[Guy13]

I walk around with them often coming into my head. I control the thought and move on. It is very common. Backing off in restraint, however, is not common. Right now, you are on the higher ground and if I were you then I would want to stay there. Do not lash out if you can avoid it. Good luck.

[jennifer_bloom]

Yeah - my mom is jealous of all good looking people including nieces and in laws - even ones in her family - and I could tell her she is ugly when she looks at A list celebrities and says they are ugly out of anger she does not look like that but I keep quiet. She hates all good looking people - all of them.

[Asker]

Was she ever attractive in her life? When she was younger maybe?

[jennifer_bloom]

When she was younger she was fairly pretty and my dad says he married her for her charm.

[Asker]

Some people just don’t handle aging well.

[L_DemFomLola_l]

Yup, lots of times. Uhm, Jason... Braden... Yeah, 27 times to be exact. But i am glad that i did not because they either got what they deserved or got expelled from college and etc

Sometimes it's best to just smile/grin dangerously let other people in charge handle it.

[Asker]

I keep telling myself that. But Karma doesn’t hit everyone unfortunately. Felt like getting that anger out would of been relieving.

[L_DemFomLola_l]

Ehh, it will some day sooner or later. As Tom Hardy says baby-boo.

KARMA IS A B-- !! 😘

[Asker]

I try not to indulge but I’ve seen it happen a few times. But I what I would like better is for these people to remember what they did to begin with.

[all_hayl]

Even if they “deserve it”, why lower yourself to that level?

[Asker]

Yeah that’s what held me back. But I’ve had some people give me cutting remarks (mostly unprovoked) that cut deep for years. Words can cut.

What these women did to me really did call for a nasty rebuke. I don’t think anything would of gotten through otherwise.

However in the grand scheme of things I know your right. I am just not having an easy time being alone and single during the holidays right now. Least favorite time of the year for me.

[all_hayl]

I’ve had people say nasty things to me before, which showed me that I never want to say anything like that to anyone else, even if they seemingly deserve it. I simply limit my interactions with them and I don’t pursue friendship with them.
You’re definitely not alone in that. I’m 40 and single - but we can choose to focus on what we do have instead of what we don’t have. I mean, that’s kind of what Thanksgiving is all about. The rest will come in due time. Plus, the more we focus on ourselves and what we don’t have, the less joy we have.
Peace.

[Asker]

thanks for the input. Yeah I’m 41. So it was good to get advice from someone in the exact same boat as me.