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I ran into a situation similar to this while Working in Rhode Island. I am accustom to holding doors and using courteous phrases when in the presence of females. The reason I do so is because three females instructed me to. Both of my Grandmothers and my mother. Grandma Amy was of Quaker descent and was a Rebel from the beginning. She grew up in one of Florida's houses of refuge along the north east coast. Althought she painted for Lamoge porcelian in her youth. She was a courier for the First Bank of Miami at the turn of the 18 to 1900s She carried a pistol and traveled the Florida Coastline from Miami to Fort Lauderdale on horseback buying checks from Pineapple farmers who had been paid with something that had to converted to cash by Grandma. She held her own with theives and had to cross Florida inlets ripe with bull sharks. No bridges. Rowboats. Part of the hike she shared with one of Florida's barefoot postmen. Shen she taught me to be courteous I listened.
My maternal Grandma was a musician who memoried the works of Robert Johnson and sung them to my mom's dad. Who supported his family but had a drinking problem. It was not an easy life, but likewise when she said be courteous "I listened" My mother lived through WWII and raised two autistic children of which I am one. My brother has Aspergers. I know we gave them hell. We both slipped through the educational system. I was a social pass because they were tired of dealing with me. My GPA at Graduation was 1.77 and my position in a class of 702 was 495. Not to hopeful. But thank God for Junior Colleges. I had to rebuild everything I stubornly missed in High School. In 1982 I was accepted to Duke and graduated. I forgot to mention that while at Duke my support came from my wife and my mom. Studentr loans from Florida and Duke paid the educational cost buttwo women paid the rest. Oh, and I forgot to mention that the individual who wrote my letter of introduction was female. Right now I have been called to the kitchen to help with the family meal. My wife of 50 years, who happens to be a polio survivor. So I guess that sums it up. I hold doors open for females even if they yell at me. I say yes mam to even 3 year old females. I do so because If I don't I will be disrespecting some geat women. And I would hate to actually feel the slap of 3 generations who taught me "better".
Using that pic as an example, if they’re not already intimate, hell yes! That dude actually went through the doorway first, but didn’t go all the way out. So he’s standing IN the doorway encroaching on her bubble. The only way it’s creepier is if he sniffs her as she passes or juts his hips out to make contact.
This “issue” gets an inordinate amount of attention, i think. I was raised to be courteous to women and elders. This includes holding doors. Eventually i just expanded the gesture to include everyone everywhere all the time. Cuz, “Why not?”. Ell oh ell! In four decades of holding doors, i’ve only had two people be assholes about it. They were both women. Did i let two ornery twats erase thousands of thank yous, smiles, returned gestures and other kind acknowledgments? Of course not. My experience strongly suggests that most people accept courtesies with grace and kindness. THAT is the reason to do it. Even people who don’t really acknowledge the gesture don’t bother me. There are eleventy bazillion legitimate reasons for such behavior, and i’m probably guilty of all of them myself.
In summary, being a creep is usually offensive and even being courteous is offensive to some. But most of us are glad when genuine kindnesses can be exchanged in person anymore. They are definitely too few and far between.
I have little hope for humanity at this point, i do have hope. I absolutely luv it when little kids i don’t know rush ahead of me to get a door. I used to say “little boys” until the day that a little girl did it. I’ll be damned! We might not only not destroy ourselves. We MIGHT end up better off in the end than how we began! Ell oh ell!
Holding the door for someone is just etiquette, it's called being polite. Ladies first is an antiquated term, some people have that mindset, most wouldn't find it offensive, even more don't think that it's necessary. Just be polite and follow the golden rule.
No absolutely not, it's called being a gentleman... Of which they are so few and far between these days.
Opinion
34Opinion
Coach, your questions are awesome.
I chose B. Not because they can't or anything other than that's how I was raised. Anything else seems... well... bad.
I had this happen once, actually, in high school. It was 1991. I had walked up the steps of one of the buildings. Held the door open for a classmate, a girl. She glared at me and snarled, "Just 'cuz I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't open a door". I shrugged and said okay. Several weeks later, same steps, same building, same door, again she was behind me. I let the door close. She had a cow that I didn't hold the door... until halfway through having the cow she got a look on her face, remembering. We laughed, actually, and became close friends.
used to not anymore for several reasons. 1. whenever i have a lot of stuff in my hands no one holds the door open for me and sometimes they still expect me to open the door for them as well. 2. women in particular can't even be bothered to say thank you and if they do they mumble it incoherently 3. sometimes when a woman arrives at a door first and i get there after they will stand there and expect me to open it because i'm a guy and i just stand there looking at them like they're fucking morons since i refuse to open the door for them when they got there first 4. when i used to hold a door open for a woman and she couldn't be bothered to say thank you but still expected me to hold the door open for her again i would go out the door first and pull the door closed so she's forced to open it herself and then i would say outloud you're welcome and once in a while she'll have the ovaries to say i didn't say anything and i would retaliate and said i know that's because you're a disrespectful cunt who has no manners or i would say i know that's why i said you're welcome because you're a fucking jerkoff or a fucking jackass. 5. when a woman blatantly walks into me prior or almost walks into me and doesn't even say i'm sorry or apologizes that's why i stopped holding the door open for people and sometimes will even shut it after i walk out so they're forced to open their own damn door
Why would saying "Ladies first" be offensive while holding a door open for a lady? Even if a little private joke was intended. Being polite does not exclude some humour. By the way, elementary politeness would not allow to just let a door slam in anyone's face, be it a lady or a guy.
If a girl tells me that is offensive, she is stuck-up and has never been treated with true respect. I hold every door that I can, for any lady in my life, from every door that I can for my wife, to the lady that is walking into the restaurant after us.
u I'm sure that whatever you do... or do not do
someone, somewhere will be offended by it... lol
Two lovers from rival families barred from being together. They swore to leap from a nearby cliff to their death rather then be kept apart.
They kissed & the guy jumped to his death. The girl upon seeing her loves horrible death reneged and didn’t do it.
Origin of ladies first
I work in retail. I noticed the other day while I often ask female customers "if they have found everything or if I can help them find what their missing" I don't do the same for male customers. Similarly I asked a female customer if she needed help out to her car with bags but an elderly male customer. I've had some negative experiences (a ex-coworker once called me gay because I stood too close to him - I was showing him how to use the bailer). I was raised by a single mom and have two sisters. I believe it's important to be nice to everyone but if I'm going to go out of my way to help someone it's going to be for a woman.
Holding the door for anyone is the polite thing to do. Saying “ladies first” is probably what would turn off some people
I tend to say, "Beauty before Age:, which often gets a smile out of the woman.
Not at all! That gesture is thoughtful and appreciated.
Not offensive.
If the ''lady'' frowns... she will simply collide with the door.
...
which 'accidentally' slipped out of my hand 😎
Its all good and a nice action, I do it my self some times, man get really confused or get the joke :)
Or just dont understand
well would you just rather let the door smack you in the face? Im holding it open because it doesn't make any sense for one person to open the door close it and another person go in right after. Just hold it open go in and go about your day. Making a production out of nothing.
Depends on whether it was condescendingly or not. If it was condescendingly, it was offensive. If not, it’s usually a kind gesture (if not a little dated, but still much appreciated) or even flirtatious depending on context, inflection, following actions, and how they say it.
Well here's my opinion , it would most definitely not be offensive cause when I was little I would hold the door open for my Mom & other females in my family. I mean if was married an me & my wife went out to eat I would hold the door open for her an let her go first & people will see that I respect my wife. Well I mean if you're my Mom just got a divorce an was but started to see someone New - you would expect her new man to treat her right & hold the door open for her.
That's just gentleman stuff. Why do women get offended by this? What if world said, "men first" instead? What's the point of that? If a man gets in elevator first and the elevator catches on fire, then he dies. It doesn't leave the better overall sex left standing.
I find simps that do things like this to be offensive.
i hold doors open for boys and say "ladies first" just because i have the mind of an 8 year boy but it's always funny to see how someone reacts to it.
I've noticed a lot of females seeing it as an out-dated act of chivalry because they really don't need it done, (Some don't deserve it). I've noticed reactions of anxiety and insecurity towards a man who's a stranger trying to be nice to females. So the let men walk ahead and ghost them; walking behind or standing behind men like kids who prefer to sit in the back of the class. I dislike being ghosted... just to let you females know.
I hate how having good manners are considered bad and sexist these days, why can't men still hold doors for women also these days the opposite happen why can't women can't hold doors for men? It called being a good and thoughtful person would people both men and women prefer someone to slam the door in their face?
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