There's a girl at work that I think is kind of cute and wanted to get to know. She was made aware that I liked her, but we work in different departments and at different times so its a bit of a struggle.
We've spoken a few times and I was flirting with her heavy at the staff party, and while she said she doesn't date work colleagues, she seemed interested and went and got my number off someone.
I've got friends that work in her department and they all keep telling me how great she is and that they think I have to keep trying because I won't regret getting to know her, but usually she starts work in the morning and finishes in the evening, where as I start in the evening and finish at night. I can't speak to her at work to get to know her, nor can I text her, because when I wake up she's at work, when she's finished work I'm in work and when I'm finished work she's asleep.
I decided to text her the other night and she said that she was just out with friends and wanted to know what was up. I said I was bored and wanted to chat and she said she was happy I text, but not happy it was out of boredom, and next time should text when I'm not bored instead. I told her she can text me too but she said I was the one that left her on read so it was my job.
We were texting a bit and she basically said that she's sick of opening up and then guys treat her like shit so she's a bit off men as a result, but she does want to get to know me, but I'll have to accept she'll be a bit nervous and distant to begin with.
After a few days of texting I asked her if she wanted to hang out this week, but she's working when I'm free and its her birthday so she's busy on her day off. I jokingly said I may give up at this rate and she responded that she wouldn't blame me.
I'd like help on this situation, she shows strong signs of interest and then distance. I keep getting told that if we got to know eachother we'd like eachother, but that seems difficult to make happen atm
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
It sounds like the girl you're interested in has been honest with you about her past experiences with men and her hesitancy to get involved with someone from work.
Respect her boundaries and give her the space she needs to feel comfortable. It's also worth considering the practical challenges of your schedules and finding creative ways to connect, such as suggesting a lunch break or meeting up on a weekend when you're both free.
However, recognise that there may be a limit to how much effort you can reasonably put into pursuing this girl. If it feels like you're constantly hitting roadblocks and she's not reciprocating your interest or making an effort to connect, it may be time to move on and focus your energy elsewhere.
The decision is yours to make, but be realistic and not waste your time on a situation that doesn't have much potential for a positive outcome.
Are you autistic by chance?
No I'm not😂 I just haven't a clue anymore so I'd like some help!
Okay I didn't mean any offense. I'm sort of wondering why you can't take what she's giving you? Like what's holding you to her. Is she telling you, "hey your name I'm in love with you" or "I wanna fuck"
Like what is it? Just signs?
I suppose simple enough things, like she began watching a show I was watching, didn't like it but kept watching it to text me about it. Or there was left over cake after an event recently and she showed up in the room with cake for me but nobody else, she texts me randomly or will come over randomly to ask me work questions that she already knows the answer to, or couldve asked the numerous staff beside her already. Also over text she's sometimes flirty and will send suggestive emojis and send me tiktoks at times too, but then I feel like I could be reading things wrong because she takes a few hours to reply to texts and when I see her she either avoids eye contact or won't stop to have a chat. Sometimes I felt like she was just nervous and her friends in her department don't even know why she acts the way I do, she told one of them I didn't make enough of an effort at one point, but then I feel like if I try harder it's too much. I'm just quite confused
Okay. So how did you even hear about this girl? It sounds like she's hot so many men at the job talk about her... and you became intrigued with her and felt the need to pursue things with her cause she's hot... yet dont know squat about her... and you're not even trying to get to know her on. A friend level or dating level... I like you're not trying to rush and fuck that's cool and genuine but again you seem very emotionally neglectful with this girl. Are you even LISTENING to what she's telling you? Most guys in her past were shitty. And it seems like you're next on that list buddy.
Please dont get offended.. I see you're trying to hang out but just talk to her like a friend and maybe move slow. She doesn't want to open up to nobody. Everybody to her is a waste of time. To me you're not that guy who ticks all those boxs for her. And I wouldn't know her secret recipe. She doesn't seem all that into you my brother. I really think you should can this one and try getting to know someone else. there's literally nothing here love
Originally she worked the same hours as me so I'd see her from time to time and I thought she was cute and when we spoke she seemed really shy but she was really nice and helpful so I became interested in getting to know her, we text for about 2 weeks and then stopped for about 2 months until she reached out to me tecently about something. I know she'll be changing hours in 3 weeks and it'll mean she has to work with me for a few hours everyday so I might try get to know her then. I told her I'd like to get to know her but it hasn't really been possible hahaha
Well good luck. Take things slow and have fun nothing too serious now