Why do a lot of women get mad and call you a pick-me if you use logic?

[Anonymous]

I’m a logical person. When I see a woman doing something terrible to a man and she plays victim, I call her out but I end up being the bad guy. Seriously, can someone make this sense? I can’t even understand my own gender sometimes. And I get called a pick-me because I didn’t agree with her. Sorry, but I’m not going to agree with EVERYTHING women say or do. If that makes me a traitor to my own gender, oh well 🤷‍♀️

[quaranta]

Women generally bond through alliance and define people around through their alliance level, regardless of the principles or logical rules behind. So all she sees is that you aren't her ally and so automatically an enemy. If you want peaceful contacts with women you have to reason in these terms, giving priority to alliance dynamics and the fact that if you're not an ally you become instantly an enemy or someone to criticize. Don't try to force critique sense in bonds with them because you'd go nowhere and left there wondering what is going on.
That might sound bad but it has its good sides, for example you'd receive free instant alliance if you offer it first, from women, even when you are deeply in the wrong and they will side with you anyway. So it all depends on your needs as well, in fact.
If you want to be honest, be able to criticize or use logic even when it doesn't go in their favour, and give less priority to alliance, then you should have male friendships (even gays are generally more compatible with this mindset).

Regardless, being honest and logical doesn't imply being rude and trying to diminish the others to make you seem superior, so it also depends on how you express yourself, not just the "what". Often we give away our malicious intentions, and we can't even realize that ourselves. If people detect what's behind a comment or an opinion and it's not a genuine intention, they won't think you are "logical", but that you are unpleasant to have around, men included.
I can't know about your specific cases but that has to be taken in consideration too before reading their reactions.

[devilish-cutie]

you need to give us an example so we can properly asses was your judgement realistic

[Asker]

I’ll give you a great example.
So I saw a TikTok video of a woman going on about a guy she went on a date with. They went to a restaurant and he ordered a burger. He asked the waitress that was serving them if he had to pay extra for cheese. She said yes and it was $3. He declined, but clearly that bothered the TikToker. In the middle of the date, she had to use the “restroom.” She actually went to the waitress, paid the whole bill and left. Then she messaged the guy saying he should have gotten the cheese and then blocked him.

[devilish-cutie]

well that girls just found that guy to be cheap, 3$ is not a lot so she probably didn't find it attractive that he was unwilling to give just 3$

[Asker]

You’re right, it’s not. But, why is it a big deal though? Why was the $3 so important to her?

[Asker]

I feel like I’m missing something here and I’m trying to understand why it’s important for a guy to pay extra. I mean, if a guy did that to a woman, y’all would go after him.

[devilish-cutie]

I assume she found such a man to be petty about many other things in life, that he wouldn't want to do certain things that are not a lot, as giving 3$ is not a lot, I definitely dont think this was about money. Some women do want men to provide for them so that could be a reason sure
I think its great we have our own opinions and you should too, but when someone calls you pic me etc maybe best is try to figure out why and ask them to explain, try to understand, they can be wrong but then they maybe also could make you realize something you dont. Women generally dont support eachother enough as men do, so it can be a sensitive thing

[Asker]

I do try to figure it out but I get no answers. Thing is I’m logical and I saw no problem with him not wanting to pay extra. Because I would’ve done the same. And it doesn’t mean he wouldn’t make a good provider. I think women are way too harsh on men and only care about their money. I feel sorry for the guy and I hope he finds someone better. He didn’t deserve that.

[Asker]

Then again maybe I’m too nice and should be more harsher 🤷‍♀️

[devilish-cutie]

In your story, im torn, im not on either side, it seems like both had their reasons. Maybe it is that you seem too concerned with mens side and not womens. Also in this story the things is that being petty can be indicator of not being a good provider as different thigns are expected from men and women. Women get pregnant and they want a man they can lean on who won't find it too much to spend 3$ extra... But yeah in this story its not like a major red flag.

[Asker]

Like I said, I’m too nice and probably I should do the same thing if I can across a man like that. I raised differently so maybe it’s time to change my mindset.

[Asker]

*came

[devilish-cutie]

I do get wanting to be fair and i myself can relate eg. one of my coworkers i hate but is she is right about something i will say she is right, people generally are not like that but then again noone ever called me pick me girl so I don't know what is it about you

[Asker]

Because I’m logical and I stand up for men. Maybe I need to stop doing that and dump any guy who doesn’t pay a lot on me.

[devilish-cutie]

I wouldn't say that, also you keep saying you are logical... I mean I gave you logical views on the whole situation. I guess maybe you are pick me to other women as you stand up for men and they dont need someone to defend them and you should concern ysf more with womens issues as those are waaaay more

[Asker]

You’re right. I need to stop caring so much about people. I’ll stop defending men.

[Shamalien]

Yo he didn’t wanna pay 3$ for cheese wtf…it wasn’t worth it to him. To try and infer anything from this is dumb af. Cheese isn’t even that healthy, probably was on the fence to begin with as to if he wanted it or not. To storm out of a date and make a scene over this is actually the most retarded thing in the world and anyone saying otherwise is fking delusional

[devilish-cutie]

@Shamalien It is a ridiculus story i agree on that

[Asker]

But, I thought he was in the wrong because he was considered cheap.

[Asker]

So wouldn’t that mean it’s his fault he got blocked?

[Asker]

And if he were to pay for that extra $3, he would’ve gotten a second chance, right?

[Still-alive]

i would agree that her reaction is ridiculous. to storm out without telling him and blocking him over this is pretty immature on her part. i'd say he dodged a bullet.

[devilish-cutie]

I gave you my opinion that both have their reasons, generally the story is ridiculus. Men on a date want to impress women so acting cheap for 3$ didn't seem like he wanted to impress her, while her reaction was also ridiculus and blown out of proportion... so I don't know what to say about that situation, as i said i dont find either "right".

[Asker]

Let’s be real, it’s the guys fault. He shouldn’t paid that extra $3 and he would’ve gotten a second chance.

[Asker]

*shouldve

[Shamalien]

@devilish-cutie let’s be clear. It’s not that the “story” is ridiculous. Declining to add cheese to a burger is really normal actually. Storming out of a date because your date didn’t get cheese on his burger is fucking stupid. His actions are 100% normal. Hers are ridiculous. Why do women have such a hard time admitting when women are in the wrong? He was RIGHT, she was WRONG, it’s that simple!!! Ordering a burger without cheese is LITERALLY FINE!!! Who cares? Women are fking insane. Do not equate her actions with his.

[devilish-cutie]

@Shamalien He ASKED for extra cheesse but didn't want to pay extra, read the story right

[Shamalien]

@devilish-cutie so he didn’t think 3$ was reasonable for cheese. Doesn’t mean he can’t afford it. Totally, 100% reasonable and anyone who sees anything wrong with that is fucked in the head

[Asker]

@devilish-cutie He was ASKING if he had to pay extra for the cheese. He never asked for cheese to be put on the burger.

[devilish-cutie]

He asked because he wanted it on, why else hed ask, but found it too expensive, fine.

[Still-alive]

well thats just like when i defend another woman against some guy trying to slut shame her or harass her i get called a 'simp' like im olnly doing it to get laid or something lol. when really i just dislike seeing people being harassed and sometimes i just feel the need to straighten that mo fo out. idc if it results in me getting laid or her not even acknowledging me at all... i just feel a wrong is being made and i wanna do something.

anyways if you aren't doing it for the approval of guys and for your own reasons then you are not a 'pick me.'

[Marked_Man]

Because women don't like being called out for their bad behavior. Men are more used to being held accountable by society, but women immediately jump to shaming or deflection when cornered by logic.

[loveslongnails]

When you say "call her out", I take it you mean privately? How about an example please?

[Asker]

Let’s say you’re walking past a woman minding your own business and suddenly she freaks out because you walked by her. She calls you a creep and she makes this huge ass scene.

[Asker]

If I saw this, I would not talk to her privately. I would make sure to make her feel embarrassed by her actions.

[loveslongnails]

That sounds like a psychotic person, and I'd kept walking. You were talking about something that means someone you knew, or maybe not (?) branding you a "pick me".

[Still-alive]

@sasha0426 would you do the same for a girl who actually is getting harassed in public by a guy?

[Asker]

@Still-alive I don’t tolerate any kind of harassing. No matter who it is. So yes I would.

[Still-alive]

ok good. you're not a 'pick me'. if you only did that for guys and not women that would be 'pick me' behavior in my opinion

[loveslongnails]

Your example has absolutely nothing to do with being a "pick-me" - do you realize that?

[Anonymous]

Most women don't like their assumptions challenged. So if you're a man and disagree, you're called an Incel, if you're a woman and disagree, you're called a pick me.

A lot of women today are just so fragile..

[Djaay]

Wear it like a bage of honor , never mind the silly and the stupid. They're time is ticken for they're own judgements.