Why is okay for others to do and say what they want But if I do they have a problem?
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
2 mo
If this is a reoccuring problem you need to do one of two things 1 re-examine your interaction with your friends. If you're always wrong there's a good likelihood this is a YOU problem (because if it keeps happening what is the common denominator? you!) Figure out why you're always wrong.
If you've done some introspection and confirmed the problem ISN'T you. Then get all new friends. Mutual respect is the ONLY way a healthy friendship works.
Side note: you have to be honest with yourself here. That's the only way this is going to work.
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Asker
2 mo
It's the later honestly. People try to force their way or play games with me. They are sadly mistaken
Opinion Owner
2 mo
That's why I added the side note. If you're certain then fine take option 2. If you're just not being truthful with yourself then the problem will just follow you.
Asker
2 mo
How is someone supposed to change when everyone is a gas lighter. Or when I come to them with an issue they play it off like it never happened?
Opinion Owner
2 mo
By knowing YOUR boundaries. By knowing what respect you deserve and tolerating nothing less. I'm OK being completely alone in life rather than tolerating disrespect. Believe it or not we teach people how to treat us. And there will always be those people that disrespect and those people you have to cut out of your life. I can't tell you how many people I've told to step off in my life and they came back to me. And it's not because I have any great value. But I know my worth. I put my pants on one leg at a time same as everybody else. But no one outworks me. And if you step to me YOU WILL respect me. Simpley put you can't control how people react to you, but you CAN control how you react to everyone else. KNOW YOUR VALUE and KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES hun. 👍💯
Asker
2 mo
Hey so I did some introspection. I'm a bit embarrassed here. I will admit the problem is both. Me first tho. I also, don't understand how people are offended when they uno reverse 1 me on the SAME actions I protrayed to them? How are they mad if they act just how I did. 2 wrongs don't make a right. I've only had 1 friend in my life tell me about my actions. I was so screwed back then I didn't take much accountability and or learn from my actions. It was me all along. Never learning social cues. Literally living off survival. Steal snacks as a kid because I went to school hungry.. no snacks.. struggling to pay for lunch. Damn. I took all that hurt and pain into my adult hood. And now way older I'm realizing the only way I'm half way decent now is because I took therapy serious for me & my unborn. I act like the victim A LOT. I always feel hurt when I'm the issue. I've never had any type of conflict resolution safety system ever in my life. Emotional neglect and having DIY parents where they literally don't teach you shit is where I struggled at
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
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If this is a reoccuring problem you need to do one of two things 1 re-examine your interaction with your friends. If you're always wrong there's a good likelihood this is a YOU problem (because if it keeps happening what is the common denominator? you!) Figure out why you're always wrong.
If you've done some introspection and confirmed the problem ISN'T you. Then get all new friends. Mutual respect is the ONLY way a healthy friendship works.
Side note: you have to be honest with yourself here. That's the only way this is going to work.
It's the later honestly. People try to force their way or play games with me. They are sadly mistaken
That's why I added the side note. If you're certain then fine take option 2. If you're just not being truthful with yourself then the problem will just follow you.
How is someone supposed to change when everyone is a gas lighter. Or when I come to them with an issue they play it off like it never happened?
By knowing YOUR boundaries. By knowing what respect you deserve and tolerating nothing less.
I'm OK being completely alone in life rather than tolerating disrespect. Believe it or not we teach people how to treat us. And there will always be those people that disrespect and those people you have to cut out of your life. I can't tell you how many people I've told to step off in my life and they came back to me. And it's not because I have any great value. But I know my worth. I put my pants on one leg at a time same as everybody else. But no one outworks me. And if you step to me YOU WILL respect me.
Simpley put you can't control how people react to you, but you CAN control how you react to everyone else. KNOW YOUR VALUE and KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES hun. 👍💯
Hey so I did some introspection.
I'm a bit embarrassed here. I will admit the problem is both. Me first tho. I also, don't understand how people are offended when they uno reverse 1 me on the SAME actions I protrayed to them? How are they mad if they act just how I did. 2 wrongs don't make a right. I've only had 1 friend in my life tell me about my actions. I was so screwed back then I didn't take much accountability and or learn from my actions. It was me all along. Never learning social cues. Literally living off survival. Steal snacks as a kid because I went to school hungry.. no snacks.. struggling to pay for lunch. Damn. I took all that hurt and pain into my adult hood. And now way older I'm realizing the only way I'm half way decent now is because I took therapy serious for me & my unborn. I act like the victim A LOT. I always feel hurt when I'm the issue. I've never had any type of conflict resolution safety system ever in my life. Emotional neglect and having DIY parents where they literally don't teach you shit is where I struggled at
Deal with nature mind.