How can men reliably determine if a potential partner will be faithful?

[KrakenAttackin]

What are the traits of a faithful woman vs. an unfaithful woman.

Updates

+1 y

What in a woman's social media postings might indicate she is likely to be unfaithful?

[Baadhabit]

I will start this off with this question first: Are you a cheater? Have you cheated on someone that you were in a relationship with? It matters little if it was a one time thing or if it is a habitual thing it only matters if the answer is yes or no. I will get back to why this is important later.

As others have said there is literally no way to know what a person is going to do in the future, however, there are many things you can do to potentially improve the odds.
Yet, these are just to help you to learn and are not to be considered full proof or will be successful with one particular person.

On average,(this is what I personally did in my relationships) I would look for very specific things for the very reason of “are they marriage material or are they just for sex.”

When I was not interested in a long term relationship for whatever reason, I was more open to lowering my standards and this was a very hard lesson to learn to never do again as it bit me in the butt but that’s another story for another time

Back to what I was meaning, that when I thought I was ready for a long term relationship the first thing I looked for personally was if they were believers of a higher power. For me this meant are they Christian but just because they are obviously does not guarantee anything. Also I understand that this is a personal preference and it is off putting to the some so…

my second thing I looked for was the other persons upbringing. THIS Is an excellent indicator of what you can expect in a relationship with someone, ON AVERAGE!!!

On average, those who were raised by a two parent home (We are to understand that single parent or the offspring of single parents can without a doubt can be faithful and wonderful partners) and are the original parents (meaning the parents that were there in early childhood) of this two parent home are still married.
If there has been a divorce and there is a stepparent involved (or not) find out what happened exactly because it can make a difference.

if one of their parents left the other because they had unknowingly or knowingly married a cheater, or beater, or a substance abuser etc….
If you are interested in a female for example, what is the relationship like with her mom and what is in your opinion, between the two? Remembering that from your perspective of the interactions is what you are seeking personally matching with what you’re being told?

I emphasize “your opinion and perspective” because you have to consider that you are not being told the truth when you only ask the potential mate and that’s no fault of theirs either. It’s a human thing. One could say they have an awesome relationship with the parent (s) but your personal opinion of what awesome could be drastically different!
For instance, they may think it’s awesome because they were treated like a friend by their parent (s) and therefore they could act any way they wanted to without the typical consequences. And they would not and should not be considered wrong of their opinion either because from their perspective it’s all they have known especially the younger and the fewer relationships they have had.
Again, I want to reiterate that these are my unprofessional opinions and should not be considered as fact for every single person! These are my opinions and mine alone.
but…

if you’re dating a woman and you find out that her mom is a pos in every one of her relationships, including the father/mother of potential partner, ie multiple partners, cheating regularly, etc then I will submit that the odds are not in your favor of her being faithful to you, typically.
Can they be faithful? Yes! Of course!! In order to find out you will have to give them an honest chance to prove themselves though! And if they meet your personal requirements and expectations that are stated, by the both parties, prior to any commitment of any kind, then there isn’t any reason not to continue forward with your mind at ease!
Stating exactly what you want, immediately and with full clarity, as well as asking them what their explanation are exactly; followed by what the consequences are to be if any single one of expectations/rules are not fully and completely honored (Plus following thorough with the said consequences.)

This is a very Big one for me! If I don’t tell you what I want and/or want I am expecting from you then anything that happens after that is my responsibility or lack there of.
If you broke my unsaid rules I was expecting from you or thought you should “just know” it is 100% on me and it’s my fault and mine alone! Every time!

on the other hand, if we both state what we’re wanting and what the consequences will be if broken, prior to having any kind of potential exclusive relationship, it will make everything much easier by orders of magnitude!

I will know, for instance, that if I were to talk to, text, call, social media interaction, co-worker, or old friend etc, especially if it is with someone who is considered to of the same sexual orientation as my partner is, what I can expect to happen what their reaction would/should be.
If I said that she is to tell me about any interaction with a male without me being present or she knows I don’t know about then I should also explain why I ask her to do this.
Is it because of how I was raised, is it because I was cheated on and I am still insecure, what/why exactly are my reasons? And maybe just as important, am I doing what I need to do to get over any wrongdoing from anyone including myself? Ie counseling, reading, asking others for advice/help that are trusted implicitly….
This is because you want to show that “hey I am not perfect and know I might come across crazy at first but…”

I am saying that I know I have potentially bad rules, personal issues, etc and that I am not to be considered a perfect partner yet but…

that shows potential mates that I am honest with myself therefore by default honest as I can be with you. I am showing you that I can be trusted as well as showing that I am not asking you to do anything that I don’t expect from myself. I want to be better, I want to learn from my past, and I want to be my best self so I can be better for you too.

Any potential partner who is a “normal” human being and has the same or similar expectations as you have will see maturity and will seek you out because they will find themselves very much interested/attracted to you.

If you’re a cheater then I can’t see why you would expect anything less from someone else. If you’re a one time cheater or a habitual cheater you are a lier; you lie to yourself first and foremost without exception.
If you wish to have a faithful partner then you must be honest with yourself first. After you are honest with yourself then you will have to work very very hard because it will shatter your perception of yourself and of your reality.

You will think you are going crazy. But you are just a normal person with flaws that can be overcome through persistent continuous hard work with professionals and the like!! You can expect for hope and you can expect that you will be successful and you can know it will be worth it without any doubt whatsoever!

[worldscolide]

There is no real way to guarantee it. There are things you can do to mitigate the risk though, starting with her politics. If she is a leftist, red flag, if she is a feminist, 10000 red flags.

For example, I married a small town conservative girl, she's happy to be a stay at home wife and mother, and I trust her implicitly after having been with her for 10 years.

The problem with women these days is they get told what men actually want.. Loyalty, peace, kindness, caring.. Basic simple things.. And they are like "nah he don't need that"

When you hear a conservative woman talk, she's like " I want to be his peace, his calm, where he can escape the stress of day to day living" at the other end of the spectrum they are all about the drama, shit tests, starting fights, and just making our lives miserable.

[worldscolide]

Other red flags include, high body count, if she is a party girl.. If her friends have excessively high body counts and are party girls, cause 9 times out of 10 if a girl is normally faithful, it's her shitty friends that convince her it's OK.

[worldscolide]

Another red flag is if she has a ton of male friends.. That's a ton of friends that she friend zoned and has on the back burner should you piss her off.

[Shamalien]

I dated a conservative woman who professed those things but in reality was not my peace calm or any of that, she was my nightmare that I became addicted to

[worldscolide]

Sounds like you married the wrong person.. That's on you.

[meetkitty123]

I honestly wish I had a direct answer for this.

It's a risk anyone takes when getting involved with another.

Past history would be the best way to tell. If you can get past information on a person.

Cheating once in a previous relationship would increase the chance of cheating again.

Some people have no qualms about coming out and saying they are a cheater or have been a cheater in their past relationships.

I am curious though @KrakenAttackin about your 2nd question. What In a person's social media would indicate a person can be a cheater. Now mind you I am referring to social media such as Facebook Instagram Twitter Snapchat

I would guess how openly sexual a person is. How many post are pictures of random individuals they find attractive. How many post are seductive or suggestive. How many flirty conversations are they randomly having. I would think it more concerning if the person was open about their identity have a phone number available and or an email. if they have FAMILY as well as friends coworkers and strangers all on the same page they have these bold post would be a major red alert.

I laughed when I saw the question regarding social media. I think mine would be considered dull to many.

I only use Facebook on a regular basis and by regular I mean some weeks on then a gap then back on then a gap of a few months then return for a few weeks and then back off. I vaguely remember signing up for Twitter or Instagram but I can't say when the heck I ever used it or for what. I definitely don't have Snapchat or whatever else is out there.

I was pushed into using Facebook by both my father and mother side of the family to keep track of family occurrences. (Honestly I hate Facebook except it keeps me in touch with family)

So let's see what in your opinion would my Facebook say to you?

Friends page consist of FAMILY up to 3rd/4th cousins. A few co workers some childhoods friends some school friends and past school teachers of mine.

April (an odd busy Facebook month usually is when there's an important holiday)

• 3 post about food I've had or made
• 4 post on funny adorable animals or animal rescues
• 7/8 repost old post memories old or new post of my kids.
• 3/4 post about Easter/Easter Sunday/Church
• 3 post about history/museum/a film about a classical Black musician.
• 2 post about two children movie/cartoon I wanted to watch with my kids.
• 2 inspirational mini clips about keep trying to do better
• 1 post about a favorite song of mine from the 1930s
• 1 about the weather
• 1 about my car accident
• 1 joke about how kids are raised no a days

[meetkitty123]

Forgot to mention groups I follow
*Father's family's group
*Mother's family's group
* 3 Animal rescue groups
* A sewing group
*The sims group
*My kids schools

[KrakenAttackin]

I think it comes down to the purpose of the woman's social media posts. If her whole persona is super -sexualized (thirst trapping), with intent of getting as much attention as possible (and guys in her DM's), this is a gigantic red flag.

[art84]

You just can't tell. My brother ex girlfriend left him and came back to him on and off during their relationship. She was bossy like I am calling the shots in the relationship. She was jealous as well. She was raised by a single parent mom with a sister and never had her father in the picture, hates him. My brother left her for another women as he wasn't in love with her.

My brother found another girl who came from a family that preferred the younger daughter. She had a boyfriend in high school though did nothing him. My brother married her and boy did she show that she wasn't right choice. They had two girls and married cause my brother had two boys with his previous girlfriend. So now it's his wife raising two little girls and two boys that aren't hers. She didn't cook, clean and my brother had to do everything for the girls. She cheated on him like three times for the five years they were married. Now they are divorced and they split the girls between days

[hahahmm]

Attention seeking online is a red flag. Also a lot of those women are getting sex from lots of guys because it's easy for them. But she'd lie to you about it. You'd be better off daring a hooker than an IG model type. Anyhow, I believe men should be the best that they can be for themselves & to try and make society better by example. A natural consequence is that you will be attractive to traditional women. The more valuable she perceives you to be the less likely she is disloyal. I mean assuming you treat her with respect. Traditional women want men who are leaders. My MyTake on leadership covers that. And traditional women are the most valuable in a real relationship.

[msc545]

Body count is a somewhat reliable predictor of this, but it is very easy for women to lie about the number, and there is no way that I know of to verify it. (Even if no lies occur, it is still far from reliable.)

Other than this I know of no way to accurately assess the probability of future faithfulness short of hiring a private investigator to follow her around all day which seems very impractical.

[KrakenAttackin]

I would say body count is #1, and I also agree she will never say the real number. So we men are left with a baseline of the data she provides combined with evaluating her social media and friends.

[msc545]

So establishing a pass/fail criterion is unfortunately very subjective and prone to error it looks like...

[KrakenAttackin]

@msc545. Absolutely agreed, but there have to be some indicators. Perhaps obsessed with showing off her body IRL and on social media? Likes to go clubbing? Mostly male friends? Perhaps other family indicators such as no relationship with her father?

[msc545]

Ok, so I think the things you just mentioned are probably *better* predictors than the body count, really. We really need to do some research to find out what works and what doesn't...

[KrakenAttackin]

Biographic and demographics should be a good starting point.

[inhua]

this would be difficult to determine.

just like men, women possess the same firmware despite having different software installed on their different hardware.

even "good girls" can be hiding dark secrets within them they don't show up until many years down the line. guys learn this the hard way they go through a nasty divorce and are made to child support for kids that turned out not to be his.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

There's no real actual way to determine such way a man or woman will be faithful as unfaithfulness can literally occur within 1 month of a relationship or 10 to 15 years later in a relationship.

For me personally, I'm always curious if a woman deeply loves Jesus Christ and the Bible and fears God as that will tell me what I need to know then I will rely 100% on God to guide my steps and hope for the best.

[HighValue]

If she has provocative/revealing posts, makes new opposite gender friends, stays friends with people that have cheated on their partner, goes clubbing, has ever had casual sex/friends with benefits/ons in her past, it is VERY likely that she will not be faithful long term.

[msc545]

I think that those behaviors that you mentioned are fairly extreme and probably good predictors of someone that is likely to cheat. Unfortunately, not everybody does behavior that is that obvious and yet many of those same people cheat. Anyway. Those are the ones that we are trying to identify using some less obvious prediction variables. Nobody would need to use our service for the very obvious behaviors. For the less obvious ones We feel like what we provide might be quite valuable hopefully.

[Likes2drive]

Maybe past history, like how many times she has been married would probably be a red flag as in not very good at commitment and what is family like? Were the parents still married and are respectful, a lot of it has to do with upbringing

[Reaper1985]

I've found girls who interact with the personal social media and/or direct messages daily are more likely to cheat on average.

[Reaper1985]

typo should say *I've found that girls who interact with their own personal social media and/or direct messages daily are more likely to cheat on average.*

[Shamalien]

It’s more like avoiding the ones who will obviously be unfaithful. If she’s always vying for male attention irl and online that’s a bad sign

[Djaay]

Marriage and family are just fine with BORN-AGAIN GOD FEARING WOMEN. All others... no comment..

[In_Trance]

Everyone has the ability to be both.
People are unfaithful when they're given reason to be unfaithful. If you're happy and satisfied, why would you look elesewhere?

[Apple1996]

Impossible to tell if someone is gonna be faithful or not. Gotta trust them to be faithful and that's all you can do.

Also was a woman not being faithful to you? Cuz I swear I seen a similar question from you just yesterday

[KrakenAttackin]

@Apple1996. It's not impossible. Behavior is often very predictable as long as a behavioral baseline is established. This is the entire basis for credit reports, criminal records, driving records, etc. Insurance actuaries are very capable of calculating risk and behavior for groups of the population.

[Apple1996]

For those things sure it's easy to track someone's behaviors but relationship wise it'd be extremely difficult. And I doubt anyone would be telling the truth that they've cheated in the past or whatever they'd have to show to be considered unfaithful.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Apple1996 which is why you need other data, such as things that correlate to cheating:. Skimpy dress, attention seeking, sex driven social media presence, lots of tattoos/piercings, etc.

[Apple1996]

I do all those things and have been committed to my husband for the last 10 years 😅

[KrakenAttackin]

@Apple1996. So you say, but I submit your risk of cheating is higher because you are drawn to those behaviors.

[Apple1996]

None of that stuff has anything to do with cheating. Not like I post a pic in a crop top, showing my belly ring and then magically start craving to sit on some random dick

[KrakenAttackin]

@Apple1996. Actually it does. You want attention, especially male attention. I am willing to bet given the opportunity, and a giga-chad, you would let him go balls deep if you thought you could get away with it.

[Apple1996]

Only a really stupid woman would cheat with a man. We literally get nothing out of it. If I was trying to cheat it'd for sure be with a woman so that I can get something out it 😂

[Juxtapose]

See how virtuous she is when she thinks nobody else is watching. Give her smaller opportunities to betray you before committing.

[Anonymous]

If anyone can possibly answer this question, they should win a Nobel Peace prize

[Opinion Owner]

While they're at it, they should tell us how to know when you're about to trip and fall, so we can prevent that too

[LiamJHayden]

We can't. That's why we should dump them at the first sign of infidelity.

[Anonymous]

I don't think there is way as long as the government rewards disloyalty.

[Fuentes]

Impossible roll the dice

[KrakenAttackin]

@Fuentes. Either we crack the female cheating matrix or marriage/family will quickly die.

[msc545]

@Fuentes It's not impossible, but you are right in that it is a very difficult problem.

[KrakenAttackin]

@msc545 Let's add multiple tattoos, piercings, especially those on sexual areas. There is probably an age bracket where women are most likely to cheat, say 18-29.

[Fuentes]

@KrakenAttackin according to females and scientist the female mind us turned in by anyone who can stimulate it at at any given moment. Therefore because they run off emotion most of the time they will instantly fall for another and head over heels as fir a man we will love one woman & if we did cheat which I don't beleive in cheating nothing emotional was ever apart of it. So when women chest is the ultimate betrayl.

[Fuentes]

@msc545 very difficult lol

[msc545]

Excellent! Also perhaps early menstruation? Multiple births or abortions outside marriage? Provocative dress?

[msc545]

I looked at some studies that have already been done, and precision is not going to happen, but it is possible to get reasonably close using a multiple regression prediction model. This is not ideal but it is better than nothing.

[KrakenAttackin]

@msc545 Yes. Very good additional factors. Of course getting her to admit to abortions is about as likely as her giving a true body count.

[msc545]

well yes. That is the central problem here... unreliable data to some extent...

[msc545]

kind of what the pinks here do to some of our questions...:(

[KrakenAttackin]

@msc545 Note how few pink answers there are.

[Tstrbrainer]

Can't she filter her social media accounts?

[msc545]

Possibly, but how does this matter?

[Tstrbrainer]

She can take down her old posts and pictures to give off a good girl impression. Unfollow or block old flames or start new account

[msc545]

Possibly she could, but social media is really a small part of the input data. There is so much more.

[Tstrbrainer]

Like friends and?

[msc545]

Many things - read from the beginning of this question and have a look at what Kraken and I have been discussing, please.

[Tstrbrainer]

Hiring a private investigator sounds like a good idea, but what if she bribes him by sleeping with him? 😂

[msc545]

then she does. Everything has vulnerabilities - nothing is certain.