Why am I confident online but shy in real life?

Question

Is this common place? It’s strange because online I’m quite confident in myself and love attention when interacting with others but real life I’m extremely shy and abit of an introvert. I tend to not want attention on me and to just fade into the back ground.

Why is this I wonder.

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

This isn't about a lack of self-confidence; it's about how cruel and insensitive people can be. Online, you can just move on and let it go, but in real life, we generally have to continue to face those people indefinitely. Knowing, we'll be dealing with it on an on-going basis, we tend to be more cautious, especially for introverts. That's not a bad characteristic. It's a survival skill you learned at an early age.

This is similar to teachers diagnosing their students as ADD or ADHD, when they only have the problem at school. This isn't a selective thing we can turn on or off. It's either always there or never there. The same holds true for your confidence. You know where you're confident and where you're not. You may be a great storm chaser but a lousy rocket scientist. Your confidence will continue to exist, whether you speak up or not. You will always know where you excel, and no one can take that away from you. You may just have no interest in inviting harassment in your day-to-day life.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Because you are hiding behind a device that you can just be who you want to be without trying to impress someone else , whether you are lying or being honest that’s clearly up to you , what you want to do , Most people on the internet escape reality and get lost in a fantasy world of being who they want to be , why I am cautious on the internet and try to ween out the fakes and scams and try to find someone that is honest and that has a good heart , when I find that someone the connection and chemical is amazing because we both know we are being honest with each other , I am pretty good at spotting a catfish or a liar , for the most part lol , But I like coming on the internet cuz I like to mingle with people and escape the world hoping to interact with someone that is honest and enjoys a good conversation

SaRang21 · Accepted Answer

It's common to feel confident online but shy in real life, while online, you don't reveal your identity, there's actually psychological phenomenon that people feel braver when they are doing things anonymously.

collie22 · Accepted Answer

You might be worrying to much about what people think about you

FilmGuy93 · Answer

The internet provides a layer of security

Leapfrog00 · Answer

I'm the same way! In real life, I don't even go anywhere unless I really really really have to, and I can't emphasize really enough!

I don't know if this helps, but maybe something happened to you in the past that caused you to be shy around people. I'm an introvert myself. I really have NO USE for most people.

You're better off staying shy. It's a good excuse to not have to engage in people's nonsense and 'drama'. People don't really like me because I'm free spirited, so there's my excuse!

But from my experience, you get more done WITHOUT people. I've lived by myself for 6 months now and I've written 3 novels. Your shyness though, dig deeper. Do you embarrass easily? Did someone hurt you from your past? There has to be some reason.

ohsheeT · Answer

Because when you're online you can just let yourself go people can't see you and how you feel but when you're one-on-one together that person is going to feel your energy looking to your eyes and feel exactly who you are and that kind of scares people you don't want to be embarrassed they're afraid to let themselves go online you can do that but in all reality it's even better when you do it in real life too

Sixgunsound · Answer

As evidenced by your behavior online, you naturally would be more assertive and in real life if it weren't for government conditioning to become less so. Tall poppy syndrome comes to mind. Power structures which government cannot have.

Berethor · Answer

Shy Mistress? playing a First-Person Shooter is also easier than Fighting in Real Life. :)

Guanfei · Answer

Because there's next to no risk online. People you're talking to aren't there, if you don't feel it you can leave.
IRL you can't do that.
I know that because I'm the same. All the things I tell you here, I wouldn't tell you IRL, or only after a good time.

mstbooblover · Answer

Being confident online does not imply being physically confronted with anyone. In real life other aspects of life prevail; for instance having to deal with some aggressive or emotional person is far easier online than in real life. There's also the obvious easy way to stay anonymous, which leads to feeling less implicated.

MementoMori777 · Answer

I'm sure many are like that, it's cause on the internet you lack the confrontation but can still say and speak to others without having to see them or be around them, it gives confidence and sometimes might even urge you to get some attention.

SunnyRS · Answer

Because you feel a bit secure as you are not face to face with someone.  Try having a video chat with someone and see how it feels.  If you feel shy it shows you get nervous in front of people.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Because you, and most other women your age, have been damaged by the fantasy of social media.

EaterPeter · Answer

I guess online we are our true selfs with less filters.

Gent207-2 · Answer

It could be any number of things from control to just the way you are and I can sympathize.

jshm2 · Answer

Because you are a coward at heart.  Online, even a mouse can pretend to be a lion. But in the flesh, you've got to put out, or be bottomed by those who will.

Christoff92 · Answer

Maybe should sing a lot and make things more easier around public to express yourself 😉

AmeerX · Answer

I think it is because you feel protected online. And in general men are not vocal in praising a woman as on the internet. So both reinforce the attitude

boggboss · Answer

Because online has a level if not truly being real so u can logg of at any point many people have false persona of bravado online

soe11 · Answer

It is a normal, so building up confidence in real life, you will be okay.

Andres77 · Answer

You can be somewhat anonymous and you can't be held accountable or trash-talked or embarrassed before friends, family and coworkers for the things you post.

AydenHazor · Answer

I think this is fairly common. Many introverts thrive online where the social interaction can be much more easily controlled, thus draining or energy less than in person social interaction which becomes draining and overwhelming easily

najekim · Answer

A lot of people use the Internet web sites like a mask so they can be more expressive. Or illusive. ;)

poetic_pisces · Answer

Because we can express more and become more real behind the screen

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

Because life online and life in real life aren't even remotely the same thing

SawerBrown · Answer

You have no needvtonlook into anyone's ryes to ask them things online. Dm me ifbyou want to discuss further

BryanMoore · Answer

it's less risky being confident online. You can just have throwaway interactions that don't matter so much and still retain a level of anonymity.

Sharkstealth · Answer

Because the reciever is a computer screen not a touchable person. Its more like your writing a story of fiction the way you want it to be not as it is.

Sparkie460 · Answer

You are confident on line because you're not looking at people face to face, you're looking T a computer. A lot of people are shy when it comes to face to face meetings.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

You are online too much. Need to practice getting out there and interacting with people in person. Being around people will sharpen that skill

OnlyMeee · Answer

I'm sort of the same to be fair, tell you anything online or messages but not to ones face. Same as showing parts of me too I guess lol 😂

tfan1 · Answer

@stormmistress - I’m the same way girl. 😞

Guardian45 · Answer

Cuz you're an introvert like me

Alex8736 · Answer

just shows you are only human

mommymommymommy · Answer

I'm not answering your questions

msc545 · Answer

Nobody can confront you in person online.

rebeliouse · Answer

just down to lack of experience

Why am I confident online but shy in real life?

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Why am I confident online but shy in real life?

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